another woman killed by abusive partner . RIP Julie Beattie (upsetting)

(45 Posts)
fromparistoberlin Thu 25-Jul-13 21:28:57

I read the story in my more detail on the tube, but here is link :

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/parents-pay-tribute-to-loving-motheroffour-who-burned-to-death-in-petrol-attack-8731634.html

we heard that one woman a week (?) is killed by an abusive partner, here is another tragic victim

she had 4 children, and they saw her injured

I am sure this will merit little media attention, and I am starting to struggle with this

this seems to happen ALOT, do we need to educuate boys/girls differently? the stats seem disproportionately skewed, too many

again, RIP and my condolances to her family

sweetsummerlove Thu 25-Jul-13 21:31:38

My god. That is awful.

:-( the poor poor women, and her children. I just. . I don't even understand how someone could be so vile

SaucyJack Thu 25-Jul-13 21:32:45

What's the AIBU?

Fraxinus Thu 25-Jul-13 21:34:09

Paris to Berlin.... Itis important to talk about it when it does happen. I was shocked to find an acquaintance had gone to prison for murdering his wife recently.. We need to understand why these terrible things happen.

Awful though it is... Good for you for sharing.

SarahAndFuck Thu 25-Jul-13 21:34:43

That's shocking, that poor woman.

How evil do you have to be to do that to someone. My god.

Her poor family.

lessemin Thu 25-Jul-13 21:34:53

Nice one Saucyjack hmm

That is just awful sad

Really Saucyjack? Posting that on a thread like this just makes you look like a total and utter cunt.

softlysoftly Thu 25-Jul-13 21:38:17

I feel sick her poor babies

Silverfoxballs Thu 25-Jul-13 21:40:14

Sadly I think the stats are more like two women a week.

Poor woman and her dc.

fromparistoberlin Thu 25-Jul-13 21:41:58

I know posting this could be seen as tactless, but I feel very strongly that her murder should be noted. For her children, to know one day other people were outraged

that there has to be a tipping point

saucy , aibu gets more traffic and I know that are people on here (more than RL) that will care

HarrietSchulenberg Thu 25-Jul-13 21:42:18

I think SaucyJack is questioning why this is in AIBU.

HarrietSchulenberg Thu 25-Jul-13 21:42:41

Ah, Fromparistoberlin, I see.

bearleftmonkeyright Thu 25-Jul-13 21:44:21

I cannot believe the brutaloty of this. How could this happen? Why?

HollyBerryBush Thu 25-Jul-13 21:50:59

I dont see how you can say there will be little media attention and you post a link to a newspaper.

There are 700 odd murders a year in the uk, most I would have thought by virtue of being homicides will be brutal but it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to read reports on all the deceased. These things tend to remain localised within communities.

SaucyJack Thu 25-Jul-13 21:51:58

No need to call me names YellowDinosaur

I just don't see the need to share horrible news articles for sheer misery's sake.

If there's something to be discussed, or an issue to be raised then that's different.

fromparistoberlin Thu 25-Jul-13 21:55:33

"There are 700 odd murders a year in the uk

I get that, but I feel that worrying high percentage, are women killed by their partners

anyway, Ill get this moved to "in the news" I think

caramelwaffle Thu 25-Jul-13 21:56:31

RIP Julie Beattie

HollyBerryBush Thu 25-Jul-13 21:57:04

Last set of full statistics out (2011) show the fall in homicide crimes of 6% -far more men than women die a violent death.

The fall in the murder rate in the 12 months to September 2010 was accompanied by a 9% fall in gun crime and a 6% fall in knife offences. The 619 deaths recorded on the homicide index was the lowest since the 606 murders in 1997/98. In 2009/10 , 421 victims were male and 198 were female

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 25-Jul-13 22:06:06

Hello

We've moved this to In The News now at the OP's request.

BOF Thu 25-Jul-13 22:08:23

Yeah, men kill each other quite a lot as well as women. Male violence is a huge blight on our society.

secretsoutherncomfortdrinker Thu 25-Jul-13 22:24:16

this is sickening it breaks my heart and to now this happend around the corner from where i live and this is the first i am hearing about it just goes to show that there is not enough media coverage of this kind of crime.
r.i.p julie

ILovePonyo Thu 25-Jul-13 22:30:58

2 women a week on average are killed by their partners or ex partners.

So sad, her poor children. Rip

edam Thu 25-Jul-13 22:51:00

It's horrific. Poor woman - and how the hell her children are ever going to be able to cope with what they saw, their mother being taken from them so horribly, I do not know.

zatyaballerina Fri 26-Jul-13 01:15:19

The problem is that violent offenders aren't properly punished for lesser transgressions before they reach this level of violence. By the time they have escalated to murder there is often a long history of violent behaviour. They keep escalating as they get away with more and more. This scumbag should have been in prison long ago for his abuse and kept there for a very long time, prison should also be awful enough to act as a deterrent.

The only way to deal with violent offenders whether they be domestic attackers or street attackers is harsh sentences and mandatory rehabilitation before release for any unprovoked assault committed against another. Don't give them the opportunity to escalate into murderers in the first place.

JackyDanny Fri 26-Jul-13 01:27:59

Want to add my voice to those saying RIP Julie Beattie.

My friend has just left DV, she is struggling.

I'm sure this article will give her some much needed strength and gratitude.

If the case had more coverage, it would raise awareness around DV.

OP, yanbu to post in a high traffic topic.

bearleftmonkeyright Fri 26-Jul-13 01:48:04

Zatyaballerina I feel the same, this incident was not unplanned. It is something you expect in countries such as afganhistan. The police must have been aware of past violent incidents. The same mistakes seem to keep being made in cases of DV by the justice system in general time and again. Yes it's sad. But shrugging of shoulders and saying "what can you do" isn't good enough. Action is needed to protect women from abusive ex partners.

bearleftmonkeyright Fri 26-Jul-13 01:54:26

Hollyberrybush, you seem to on purpose fail to see the point. hmm. These incidences are preventable and are linked to DV. That is the point of this op, not the wider issue of statistics on murder and gun crime.

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 06:31:57

Thanks, I am pleased some of you "get" why I posted this

there would have been precursors and weak signals coming up to this horrific event

maybe I should have left this in AIBU, I am such a wuss

Its ust can be compared to some mem on men murders, I feel that very strongly

2 per week, fucking hell

beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 10:53:43

Julie is my cousin.... When I saw this thread I was in 2 minds about it. At 1st I didn't want ppl talking about her murder as its devastating for us but if it helps others then I'm ok with it. She was such a beautiful, caring and selfless girl and a fantastic mother... we are shocked and heartbroken and will miss her dearly! Rip our angel xxxx

Rooners Fri 26-Jul-13 10:56:39

The first thing I wondered was, was she on here, I mean there are threads all the time asking for help leaving.

She could have been one of us.

Rooners Fri 26-Jul-13 10:57:32

Beck I am really sorry. What a huge loss to you all.

beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 11:28:25

This is a video Julie made before she had her youngest boy. On this is pictures of her 3 eldest, Ahshiah (7), Seriah (5) and Heze (3). Her youngest, Levi, is 2. These 4 gorgeous children have been left now without a mother and father!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=LAsWZgIkI_M&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DLAsWZgIkI_M

beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 11:33:31

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Discogeek Fri 26-Jul-13 11:40:37

Becki I'm so sorry for your families loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
DV is such a misunderstood issue & underrepresented in the media, I thinks it's really important we share these tragic stories - it could be what helps a woman make the decision to leave an abusive relationship or ask for some support.
RIP Julie Beattie

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 11:52:42

beckimasonruban

Oh my gosh, I have tears in my eyes right now. I hope you understand why I posted. Strangers are devastated for her. we wont understand what you are going through, but I am thinking so much about her family, and her children

I am so so sorry for you loss

and I feel very strongly that it should be noted, as its a scandal. AND I get that media coverage causes pain.

and again if this thread causes even a smidgen of upset, I will get it deleted

XXXX

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 26-Jul-13 13:04:33

That's a tragic story, it's happening too often, but I think the problem is complex. There is far too much male violence, that's for certain. However, I think the bigger concern is that the women in these relationships are often manipulated or intimidated by the men into silence well before it gets to this stage. They are told they are worthless or selfish, they believe they have no options and don't know where to get help, they have been robbed of self-esteem, often isolated by their abuser and deprived of freedom or funds, and - even if friends and family tell them to get away or offer them refuge - they find it very difficult to actually leave. On the MN Relationships board it's heart-breaking to read about yet another abusive man, behaving in the most horrendous manner towards a woman, and the partner then saying 'but he's a good Dad, I love him, and I don't want to break up the family'

I don't know if Julie Beattie ever tried to get help but would urge anyone affected by her story and who wants to make a practical difference to others in her situation to consider donating money to women's refuge charities like Womens Aid. There are too many Julies.

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 15:47:06

This TED talk is very good
www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave.html

the chilling fact is that in most cases, the murders occur after they have left the men.

cogito, I have just donated to womans aid , very good idea

If anyone feels like that would like to make a donation in honour of Julie and the many other victims, go here
https://rsm2.rsmsecure.com/cpterminal/cpweb.php

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 26-Jul-13 15:51:14

"the murders occur after they have left the men. "

Or when the abuser gets wind that they are about to leave. That's a particularly dangerous time and refuge charities will always stress to abused partners to be proceed with extreme caution and keep their plans secret until they have got away safely.

MysteriousHamster Sun 28-Jul-13 10:45:54

I always wonder when I hear these stories whether they were one of the women from the Relationships threads, telling their partner they were leaving sad

RIP

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 17:21:46

Tragic. But I'm not sure you can name the alleged culprit like that Becki so I have reported that just in case, You have enough trouble at the moment. Thinking of you & yours.

dads Sat 03-Aug-13 14:32:51

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SunnyIntervals Sat 03-Aug-13 14:44:22

I am so sorry to hear of this terrible loss for all Julie's family sad Her poor children.

How can someone hurt another person like this?

JoAlone Sat 03-Aug-13 14:48:00

dads sorry to learn of your story. I truly hope Julie is in peace, her life sounds traumatic. My only hope is that her 4 vulnerable young children will know a life different to hers. Don't give up yet, stand up for them. Let them know they have one adult in this world left that is their family and wants what is best for them. I can only imagine the trauma this is causing you.

R.I.P Julie

fromparistoberlin73 Mon 07-Apr-14 09:11:07

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