Just so sad

(73 Posts)
WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Mon 15-Apr-13 20:27:37


WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Mon 15-Apr-13 20:28:06

Sorry here

chocolatespiders Mon 15-Apr-13 20:49:36


BCBG Mon 15-Apr-13 20:51:56

I can't get over the ages - she must have spent most of four years pregnant sad

Does anyone else see news stories like this and wonder about PND or abuse in the relationship? Before I had DS I would have thought it was sad but now I question it based on my own experiences.

She had a 3, 2, and 1 year old and was heavily pregnant.


AuntieStella Mon 15-Apr-13 20:55:23

I've seen that: dreadful story?

And I note the police have said it's the early stages of a wide investigation, but that there was no threat to the community. It sounds as if they really don't know what has happened, and I hope the investigation team gets to the bottom of it swiftly. It must be a very difficult case to be working on sad

Wannabestepfordwife Mon 15-Apr-13 21:34:46

I bawled my eyes out those poor children and poor woman she must have been desperately depressed.

I can't imagine what the father must be going through

duchesse Mon 15-Apr-13 21:37:02

Horrendous. There must have been no-one and no services for her to turn to, and the prospect of 4 children under 4 was too much for her. Poor woman and children and poor poor family.

Geordieminx Mon 15-Apr-13 21:38:59

So desperately sad.

I still don't understand thugh, why when a father kills his kids he is seen as evil, when its a mother everyone presumes she must have PND?

queenofthepirates Mon 15-Apr-13 21:43:56

I just hope they went quietly, I cannot imagine what could have made this happen but my heart breaks for her and her family.

Figgygal Mon 15-Apr-13 21:44:58

The prospect of 4 under 4 is very overwhelming!!

Sad for all involved

AuntieStella Mon 15-Apr-13 21:45:03

And, even more sadly, it's the second incident of mother and children found dead this week: BBC article on Ruislip deaths on 13th

LynetteScavo Mon 15-Apr-13 21:46:04

You don't need PND to be overwhelmed by 3 small DC and being heavily pregnant!

Very sad.

HeyYoniYoni Mon 15-Apr-13 21:51:57

geordieminx because pnd is an illness that (mostly) men don't suffer from. It's rare that they would have that as a reason, whereas when a woman does, usually it is

2old2beamum Mon 15-Apr-13 21:52:00

Poor poor girl I just hope it wasn't benefit related.
May they all rest in peace.
I am totally gutted this can happen

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 15-Apr-13 21:57:46

Is there more info on the full website, because from what is written in the report I can see on my phone there is nothing to confirm it was her who killed them?

IYoniWantToBeWithYou Mon 15-Apr-13 21:58:16

I find it impossible to sympathise with anyone that can kill a child, let alone three. My thoughts and sympathies are firmly with the children, the father and the extended family. So very sad sad

worley Mon 15-Apr-13 22:07:54

they're not confirming yet it was her that killed them. her ex dp had left her a while ago for someone else and she had been threatening suicide on FB and posting she would be taking her babies with her
sad (as stated in the daily mail)
I's all very sad.

worley Mon 15-Apr-13 22:12:28


worley Mon 15-Apr-13 22:13:14

sorry daily mail

timtam23 Mon 15-Apr-13 22:16:44

Dreadfully sad for everyone concerned, it stopped me in my tracks today when I heard this. Poor babies sad

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 15-Apr-13 22:25:55

This is just up the road from me. It's all over the local news. I too bawled when I read it. Those poor little children. I went straight upstairs to look at my dc's asleep in their beds. How disturbed would you have to be do this to your own children? So awful. Feel desperately sorry for all of them. sad

IYoniWentInForAPintOfMilk Tue 16-Apr-13 05:41:45

I live a few minutes from where this happened, this is devastating news. I cannot imagine what the family are going through.
I think the way the mail have reported this is disgusting, in one sentence saying they can't speculate and in the next saying she did it, its just horrible.
This is so sad, I cannot stop thinking about it. My heart breaks for them all.
RIP those little angels.

Tanith Tue 16-Apr-13 07:35:52

There is such a thing as pre-natal depression.
A friend of mine had it many years ago: she killed herself when she was 7 months pregnant.

Tanith. sad

I don't automatically assume anything with stories like this, it's so sad. I hope the police investigate and find the answers.

Poor woman being left for someone else when she had 3 littlies and another on the way!

worley Tue 16-Apr-13 08:02:17

pint of milk.. you must live very close to me. the sad thing is that there were straight away reports Of what was happening on Facebook before it was even reported on the news. and sadly people's face books will be looked at by papers and information gained from them just as they did with the lad who crashed his car into the house a few weeks ago.

she must have been just so devastated and distraught and I think only people that have been that low know how it can seem the only way to stop the pain. that's assuming that it was her that did it of course.

HeySoulSister Tue 16-Apr-13 08:15:33


IYoniWentInForAPintOfMilk Tue 16-Apr-13 08:22:38

you are right Worley, this kind of thing really puts me off facebook too, people all want to know what's going on and there is so much speculation. Reading the Daily Mail thing this morning actually made me feel sick. people are suffering and grieving and people on facebook just want to gossip. So sad.

ObiWankenYoni Tue 16-Apr-13 08:36:55

RIP little babies

May justice be done

I have a feeling this may not be as straightforward as it looks.

worley Tue 16-Apr-13 09:27:08

it appears to be very complicated and she was in a horrible situation. but a situation that a lot of other people on this site have been in but not resorted to what she may have done. sadly they're not even reporting her name correctly. that is a big cock up in itself.
I'm avoiding FB today. people are on a witch hunt already sad

NellysKnickers Tue 16-Apr-13 13:49:14

So so sad. Incredibly heartbreaking, poor little children. Feel for their mum too, whatever must she have been thinking, its so sad she had no-one to turn to. Life can be cruel.

Incrediably sad for her and the children, I also feel very sad for the father.

phantomnamechanger Tue 16-Apr-13 17:32:23

So bloody awful. Whatever the ins and outs of her circumstances, just tragic sad

feel so sorry for those having to deal with this too - imagine those poor police officers going home and looking in on their own sleeping DCs.

I also wonder, every time something like this happens, was the person an MNer. Could anyone in her RL or on here, have been there for her or encouraged her to get the help she obviously needed?.

Just so sad.

everlong Tue 16-Apr-13 20:27:01

I feel for the father too. He has lost his four children.

This story is heartbreaking and has been on my mind all day. The poor mum and her babies.


DesperatelySeekingSedatives Tue 16-Apr-13 20:57:22

I think its not as simple as her being evil for doing this. I cant imagine feeling like I wanted to harm my kids even at my absolute worst. But I always had people I could go to when I needed to support/scream and shout it all out my system. Maybe she didnt feel she had anyone? The reports Ive seen suggest her partner and father to all the children had left her. She must have felt so alone. That kind of despair can make you do desperate things IME. I hope she and all her babies rest in peace.

Heartfelt sympathy to everyone, all of her family and his. Most of all to the poor dad though who has just lost all of his children in one go. The pain must be unbearable.

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 16-Apr-13 21:04:49

i feel for the childrens father and those left behind.

people split up all the time. I cant imagine that wanting to make me want to murder my own children.

its very sad.

WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Tue 16-Apr-13 22:37:37

And she was only just 21, very young to have 4 children.
Devastating, how bad must she have felt.

WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Tue 16-Apr-13 22:38:16

must have been feeling

worley Wed 17-Apr-13 07:06:44

it appears the police had been called to her home the night before this happened sad after a dispute with her ex after she had reportedly stabbed him. but the police report that due to the nature of domestic incidents as she wouldn't allow them into the property they couldn't gain access at this point. they spoke to her via the intercom once her partner had left.
you can't help but wonder if she had let them in to talk to her if things may have been different sad

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 13:05:29

She was wielding a knife ( with children in her care) and had assaulted someone.... Police couldn't gain entry so just left it?!

Can't believe that

She didn't stab anyone.

link there was a stabbing and they went to see if she had any information about it.

Skybore Wed 17-Apr-13 13:17:06

"Poor woman being left for someone else when she had 3 littlies and another on the way!"

Have to say that's not the first thought I had when I read this terrible story. I felt the same way I feel when men do something terrible to ex partner and kids with that "if I can't have you no-one will" attitude.

In those cases I don't immediately think Poor bloke, he must've been driven mad by it all, I tend to think What a bastard.

Same here, she stabs him, murders her own kids, then tops herself. Brutal yes, but also What a bastard, rather than What a shame.

worley Wed 17-Apr-13 14:45:19

the dad has changed his story about being stabbed.. firstly he said it was by a man in another part of town.. now he says she did it. if she did why did he go and leave his children with her? they're still unable to establish cause of death for the poor children. sad

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 17-Apr-13 15:40:09

There is definitely something that is not as it seems. Those poor children.

ObiWankenYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 16:37:31

I'm afraid the dad is giving me the same feeling as the derby deaths dad.

I hate to say it, but I can't help it. Others have said the same.

Something is just not sitting right.

Skybore Wed 17-Apr-13 16:41:43

derby deaths, as in Philpots? Hadn't thought so but you may be right. Too soon to say I guess and I already said what my first instinctive thoughts were.

Vagndidit Wed 17-Apr-13 16:49:47

This story is absolutely heartbreaking. Those poor, poor children. I've been teary everytime I've seen the story mentioned on the news.
Our local Bbc service pissed me off, however, when they shoved the camera in the Dad's face on Mon night asking how he felt about the situation. Htf do you think he feels?angry

ObiWankenYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 16:49:53


As I said. Something just isn't right.

Vagndidit Wed 17-Apr-13 16:52:10

I will add that there's also a lot of details about the story that aren't adding up...which just adds to the sadness of the situation. I hate how the Philpott case has made us all a bit more suspicious of fathers.

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 16:53:33

why isnt something right? its not that hard to believe a woman can do this is it? plenty of cases over recent times....

Moominsarehippos Wed 17-Apr-13 16:56:56

She was 21? What kind of life mish she have had to be so desperate that she'd do this?

It wasn't that long ago that it was believed that a pregnant woman couldn't kill herself. There was a case where a pragnant woman hung herself and I believe the husband was convicted (he was definately tried) because psychologists said that she couldn't have done it because she was pregnant (mama tiger and all that).

I'm assuming this woman didn't have much of a family/friend network. Those poor kids.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 17-Apr-13 16:59:20

HeySoul - so why has the father changed his story? I'm not saying that she didn't do it, just that it is in all likelihood not as 'straightforward' as it initially appears.

What isn't adding up, or isn't right?

We can't expect to be told every detail about another families tragedy.

Can you imagine losing a child and having people gossiping about your involvement in that childs death? I can, I've been there and its fucking hideous.

Until he is implicated by the police, who are the ones with the full facts, I think speculation and talk of 'feelings' and 'instincts' that he is in some way involved are just nasty and do nothing but prove that the people who see fit to broadcast their thoughts on a public forum are pretty bloody heartless.

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 17:20:29


your in receipt of full facts from the police? youve read his 2 statements

ObiWankenYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 17:58:28

There's no need to be nasty to each other.

There's enough sadness in this world, without inflicting on each other here.

I understand the passion cases like this bring out in people, but please. A little respect for each other isn't hard.

Peace and love

Maggysinge Wed 17-Apr-13 18:26:00

The hypocrisy here is just astounding! A woman has murdered her children and all of a sudden it's oh she must be ill, abused etc and that it doesn't feel right, he must be dodgy etcbut if it was a man I guarantee that you would be calling him a murdering bastard and no sympathy whatsoever.

Showing a little respect for the man who has just lost 4 children isn't hard either Obi.

I didn't see much 'peace and love' for him in your pp.

everlong Wed 17-Apr-13 18:40:13

Hang on, what doesn't add up?

Derby deaths?

What are you saying that he killed them? So how do you get to the mum committing suicide?

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 18:53:23


bloody well said!!! this woman made a choice!!

duchesse Wed 17-Apr-13 20:55:43

I'm thinking that what's quite possible is that she did indeed attack him at their home, and that he went for treatment at hospital and reported that he'd been attacked in the street by a randomer in order to avoid getting her into trouble. Hence the "false" report.

2old2beamum Wed 17-Apr-13 21:03:55

Please don't judge until you have walked in her shoes.
I feel so sad where was her support? Her midwife sad? she was not much more than a child herself!!!

Darkesteyes Wed 17-Apr-13 21:39:29

The Mail have mysogynistic form for this. There was a case of family annihalation last year commited by the father.
But the Mail trawled the mothers facebook posts to see how he could have been "driven to it"
I clearly remember discussing it on the Feminism boards at the time.

everlong Wed 17-Apr-13 21:51:59

But the mum killed her children confused

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 23:59:47

Yeah she did. How do we know she didn't have support? 'Support' does not prevent someone murdering others

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 18-Apr-13 00:06:26

im afraid i judge anyone - man or woman - who can kill their children.

gender is irrelevant.

to be in the frame of mind to kill your own children - be you a male or female - i would say you have some kind of mental impairment and are in a desperate situation.

it is desperately sad.

Darkesteyes Thu 18-Apr-13 01:09:53

The case i mentioned earlier there were certain people scrabbling around trying to find a way to blame the mother when in the other case it was the father who killed them.
All i meant was that you cant go by what you read in the Mail.

CautionaryWhale Thu 18-Apr-13 07:38:55

Complete double standards here
The reaction so such events should be consistent irrespective of gender
but never is.
As I am 7 months pregnant with two other children and have a history of depression I can understand her desperation but cannot excuse her actions. They were pre-meditated and the police let those kids down badly.

CautionaryWhale Thu 18-Apr-13 07:39:25

to not so

HeySoulSister Thu 18-Apr-13 09:42:17

How did the police let them down??

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 18-Apr-13 15:09:16

here we go again then - blame everyone but the person responsible.

clearly i need to put a request in for the standard issue of crystal balls along with pava and batons.


handcream Thu 18-Apr-13 15:39:53

I have to say I agree with a number of other posters. Why are we looking to blame everyone else, 'she was let down by the police, social services, even her ex boyfriend'

She potentially killed her children in cold blood. She was so young to have so many children.

Are we now going to say that everyone who murders someone else is depressed, on the edge or driven to it.

Yes thats right, it was the police officers fault, totally.

Clearly what they should have done, without evidence, or a statement, or any reason whatsoever was arrest the mother. Shame on them for not arreseting a heavily pregnant woman in charge of 3 small children in the early hours of the morning for nothing.

There was only one person who let those children down, and thats the only person who a lot of people don't want to blame for some reason.

Thewhingingdefective Fri 19-Apr-13 13:26:05

Hand cream, no of course people have different motives to kill, bt in cases like this there must be a cause that could possibly have been avoided.

Is it so terrible to wonder if this young woman was so disturbed or depressed that she really couldn't cope? Having so many children in such a short space of time and at a young age herself clearly messed her up somehow.

It's tragic. I cannot imagine what state her mind was in when she took her children's lives. The poor father now has to live with this nightmare. Really sad stuff.

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