Transsexual teacher commits suicide

(227 Posts)
kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 13:48:09

A teacher who came out as transsexual and was treated to a horrible article in the DM by Richard Littlejohn has committed suicide. Despite support from the school, she received loads of hate mail.

That should have been me in the media but they never found out. I can't believe society.

RIP Lucy Meadows

HippiTEEHoppoTEE Thu 21-Mar-13 13:51:23

How sad. I don't see any news reports about it, though. How do you know?

PigeonStreet Thu 21-Mar-13 13:51:29

That is Such sad news. I am really appalled by some people's narrowmindedness and cruel behaviour.

Bloody hell! Here we go again. I hope he is sacked, yes I actually do.

what, she received hate mail for daring to be born in the wrong body?

absolutely disgusting that attitudes like that still exist nowadays.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 13:54:31

It's come out on my FB page from someone who knew her.
The bloody media have gone too far this time feeding people's prejudices.

Sorry Kim,bit confused are you saying you are transsexual?
What I'm confused by is, isn't his article direct discrimination? I know in an employment setting it would be illegal, how about here? Wonder whether he gets the same opportunities to air other no doubt bigoted views.

OHforDUCKScake Thu 21-Mar-13 13:55:22

How do you know this?

No lessons are learned.

OHforDUCKScake Thu 21-Mar-13 13:56:02

Sorry X posted.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 13:56:39

spb Yes - I am a transsexual teacher. I came out 2 years ago and the biggest thing I worried about was the media reaction.

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 13:57:10

Oh my god. Thats awful. Poor woman.. Cant Littlejohn be prosecuted for transphobia.
I cant believe the cruelty of people. i am fast losing faith in human nature.

RIP Lucy .

Good for you Kim.
I hope he is sacked, despite all that happened when Kate Middleton was in hospital.

sad

In 2013. Some people are still in the Dark Ages.

I don't want a link to rhe article but does anyone know what it said?

I remember that article he wrote - it ws vile even by his standards. How sad that it led to this. RIP Lucy.

SergeantSnarky Thu 21-Mar-13 14:01:29

Oh God that is awful Kim.

I remember reading the letter the school had sent out and being so impressed with how supportive the head seemed.

That is a great shame, it really is.

As for you my lovely - am always impressed with your input on threads and if any media arse were to give you any shit then am sure mumsnetters would rally round you smile

Ok just read it. I started off thinking you were overreacting but actually the stuff at the bottom is basically WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN and saying she should change school.
Children will not be damaged by this. They will be damaged to see that if there's anything differnt about you, you live in fear of disapproval.

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 14:03:37

Yes we would.

I wish shed been on mn

Sunnywithshowers Thu 21-Mar-13 14:05:35

That man is utter, utter scum.

I'm so sorry for that poor woman. There's no way she should have been hounded. sad

ElliesWellies Thu 21-Mar-13 14:06:19

Oh no, how terribly sad. It must be hard enough to feel like you were born into the wrong body. Why on earth does anyone need to make it harder? People should just shut up, live and let live.

Fluffymonster Thu 21-Mar-13 14:06:36

I'm hoping this isn't true - no sign of it on Twitter or Google.

So very sad if it is - the school seemed very supportive (well done them), the teacher was described as popular...so tragic if she was subjected to hate mail.

Ignorant, hate-filled shits.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:07:12

The school website has the news on the front page sad

Icelollycraving Thu 21-Mar-13 14:09:01

Very sad. Tragic. I do not know the story,but prejudice is such hateful human behaviour.

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 14:09:04

I actually HATE that man. He is vile, odious... I hope he gets a dry slap in the street.

RIP Lucy. Poor, poor woman and her family.

KaraStarbuckThrace Thu 21-Mar-13 14:09:29

Appalling sad That poor woman, so awful she was driven to take her own life.

Littlejohn should be seriously fucking ashamed of himself.

LandofTute Thu 21-Mar-13 14:11:35

Yes it is on the school website. sad

Yep. School sound as though thwyve done nothing wrong. I hope it's picked up soon, wonder what the dm's take on itbwill be.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 21-Mar-13 14:12:45

Yes, it is on Google, just found it.

And a link to the "Anglican Samizdat" blog (whatever the f**k that is), which says, "this isn't going to end well ... I fear Mr /Miss Upton is doomed."

Absolutely shameful behaviour, hope they are proud of themselves.

Fallenangle Thu 21-Mar-13 14:13:02

People who want to be vile and bigoted can't now acceptably be racist, sexist or anti gay, so transexuals are more or less all they have left.
I do now pity the poor children who have to deal with their teacher having committed suicide.

NotAsNiceAsMyMum Thu 21-Mar-13 14:13:35

Most of the time I think the world is a lovely place.
And then a read shit like this and realise that I'm just living in a bubble of niceness and the world is actually still full of hateful bigotted arseholes.

sad

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 21-Mar-13 14:14:06

Poor woman. sad RIP Lucy.

What a vile creature he is.

Fallenangle Thu 21-Mar-13 14:14:22

To clarify pitying the children is not a criticism of Lucy but of the bigots.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 21-Mar-13 14:16:22

It looks like they pulled the article, - it keeps linking to some article about JS confused

or is it just me?

I read it, still have it open

Shoppinglist Thu 21-Mar-13 14:19:00

I think they've pulled it. Take a screenshot. The vile idiots.

No it is still there, now she is dead it may as well remain, I hope theyre not allowed to pull it.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 21-Mar-13 14:19:53

Do you have a link?

[[ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2250555/Shock-CofE-school-Mr-Upton-return-Christmas-Miss-Meadows.html here]]
Huge apologies for the dail mail. Not the link, I'm just sorry it exists

They've pulled it.

Pootles2010 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:21:02

They've pulled it. Look at the top of the JS article - amended at 1400 hours today.

The other piece is their 'news' article rather than LittleJohn's rant.

Shoppinglist Thu 21-Mar-13 14:21:05

No there was another comment by littlejohn but they have pulled it.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:21:24

The article was the subject of a PCC complaint by Lucy. I have to say that schools where I work have been really good as have the pupils I work with.

Fluffymonster Thu 21-Mar-13 14:21:39

kim147 Yes sorry - found it all now, bit slow on pc. It's just awful. Tearing up thinking about how bad it must've been to kill herself only a few months into the year.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:21:55

No - Littlejohn did a whole comment piece about it just to make his point.

Ah so there was a rant tio I did wonder. What did it say. It should stay up. Has anyone got it?

adeucalione Thu 21-Mar-13 14:22:16

I haven't seen the Littlejohn article, but remember there being lots of media interest at the time, locally and nationally, and most had negative quotes from parents who had children at the school. I assume, from what's been said here, that the Mail article was significantly worse than the others. However, I think it is a bit crass to presume to link one particular journalist with her decision to commit suicide. Personally I would have thought that daily contact with closed-minded parents would have been more of a factor.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:23:03

Bastards and hypocrites - they've pulled the article. I know that people have the original one.

Tallyra Thu 21-Mar-13 14:23:22

They had better at least write an apology. That is seriously disgusting. He doesn't deserve to be a journalist if he is just using it to air his views like that.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 21-Mar-13 14:23:32

Was it online or actually in the "newspaper" itself?

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 14:24:11

Fucking Littlejohn angry

He really does think he's a plain-talking everyman who speaks for the nation, doesn't he? Well, you don't speak for me, Littlejohn, you rat-faced old shit. In fact, I am ashamed that you are the same species as me. How one person can sail through life lacking in any empathy for anyone unless they are white/British/heterosexual/employed is beyond me. I bet he has no friends. Vile creature.

Kim, have pmed you about something unrelated

I don't know the story either but from what's been posted it sounds awful. Wtf they thought would happen to the kids I don't know. They were no more in danger after she revealed her secret than they were before. Surely being gay straight bi transexuals black white etc has absolutely no baring on anyone's abilities to do a job and to be a good person!!!

What an awful thing to happen to an innocent person who no doubt enriched the lives of many children during the time she was a teacher.

Just tragic sad

EasilyBored Thu 21-Mar-13 14:26:53

That poor woman.

Richard Littlejohn is a vile, soulless cunt and I hope he drowns in birdshit.

OBface Thu 21-Mar-13 14:27:09

Poor poor woman. RIP Lucy

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 14:28:09

I haven't seen what he had wrote.

This has really upset me. How much trauma, stress, concern must Lucy have gone through? Those poor children at school sad

Rip flowers

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 14:29:04

Theyve pulled the Littlejohn article have they? Oh quelle surprise.

Littlejohn you are a stinking pile of shit.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 21-Mar-13 14:34:05

How horrible. I lost a dear friend last year who was transgender. I used to say to my Dd that she was the bravest woman in Great Britain. Just going out to the shops was an ordeal for her. The abuse she received was horrendous and even fairly seemingly intelligent, sensible people we knew used to make little jokes about her. Horrible. I am happy that in the years before she died she lived very happily with her wonderful partner in the countryside. I have never understood why people feel so threatened by this.

WyrdMother Thu 21-Mar-13 14:34:28

Some of the Littlejohn article is quoted here does not like to dailmail.

WyrdMother Thu 21-Mar-13 14:35:08

does not link for crying out loud...

pigsDOfly Thu 21-Mar-13 14:37:50

Daily Mail, Richard Littlejohn? Says it all really.

Seems as if you're an ignorant bigot you can say what you like, hurt who you like and get away with it if you're a 'journalist'.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 21-Mar-13 14:39:13

Yes they've pulled it - all links divert to another article of his, - they are utter shits, him and DM together.

HippiTEEHoppoTEE Thu 21-Mar-13 14:39:50

That poor woman. I have several trans* friends. The shit storm they go through just with their own friends and family, never mind being put into the fucking DM.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:39:55

My Dad said that I had nothing to worry about from the media when I came out. And he's a Daily Mail reader.

" Why should they be forced to deal with the news that a male teacher they have always known as Mr Upton will henceforth be a woman called Miss Meadows? Anyway, why not Miss Upton?"

I have a 6yo. I don't think he'd be more or less upset about this than a teacher leaving and a new one starting. Everything is new and strange at that age. Oh and does rjy write a column every time someone changes their name in the country in a way he doesn't agree with? Must be a busy little bigot.

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 14:43:08

Why do Littlejohn and that scuzzy dad Wayne and their ilk insist that their bigotry stems from "concern" for the children who cannot understand? Children are the least bigoted and most accepting, if we let them be. They are born without prejudice. I've had to tell DS when he was 4 about the existance of TG people because we have a lady in our village who is TG. I just thought it was better to explain than have him going "Muuuuuuuummyyyy why is that lady got a moustache?" every time we bumped into her. And he has NEVER mentioned it since. He isn'tin frigging turmoil because he knows that men live as women.

No, the faux concern for the kiddies is really to hide the fact that theydon't have much truck with that type of person. If this was the 1970's, tehy'd probably just come out and say "It's DISGUSTING and NOT NATURAL" but they can't now because they know that people won't stand for such biggoted outbursts. So they thinly veil it as concern for the kids. That holds about as much water as a sieve, tbpfh.

" Why should they be forced to deal with the news that a male teacher they have always known as Mr Upton will henceforth be a woman called Miss Meadows? Anyway, why not Miss Upton?"

I have a 6yo. I don't think he'd be more or less upset about this than a teacher leaving and a new one starting. Everything is new and strange at that age. Oh and does rjy write a column every time someone changes their name in the country in a way he doesn't agree with? Must be a busy little bigot.

I am shock at those snippets of the article!!!

What a nasty nasty selfish vindictive man to write such blatant ignorant shite!!!

Like he's really thinking of the kids. He's just airing his opinion. And what a hateful opinion it is!

Fluffymonster Thu 21-Mar-13 14:45:00

It's far more damaging for the children to learn that their nice teacher ended up killing herself because she wasn't allowed to live her life peacefully, in simply being true to herself.

How are you supposed to teach children tolerance and diversity, and courage to be themselves, if even adults get such a hard time, that they can't carry on?

It's narrow-minded, fearful bigotry that children need protecting from, not popular trans teachers doing a decent job.

RIP Lucy - I'm teaching my 5 and 3yo girls tolerance, acceptance of diversity and the courage to stand apart from the crowd. They will NOT grow up expressing the same ignorance Lucy encountered - I promise you.

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 14:46:52

Good post MT.

I just hope that Littlejohn feels some kind of remorse, guilt, shame for what he's done. But I doubt it.

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 14:49:31

With the right support and understanding those children would have happily accepted their new teacher.

Now they have to get their young heads around her committing suicide. That makes me so frigging sad.

I know what I'd rather my child have to deal with.

WilsonFrickett Thu 21-Mar-13 14:49:42

FFS, that poor woman. Hounded to her death by fear and ignorance. sad sad sad. Doubly awful because the school was so brilliant too.

RIP Lucy

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 14:50:17

Oh, he won't. His sort never do. They just live under the illusion that they're right and the rest of us are all namby-pamby lefties not living in the real world.

I just resent him using children as a shield to get away with spewing such hate from that fat, toady gob of his.

WilsonFrickett Thu 21-Mar-13 14:53:33

The poignancy of 'inspire, love, educate' on the school's letterhead is breaking my heart.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:54:13

I've almost been there myself - I've had so many job interviews recently but never seem to have got that job. I've had parents at one school complain and it's so hard thinking I'll never be able to get a proper job again because people can't see beyond me being trans. It's been the thought of my DS that has kept me going.

I've not had any abuse - but I do think that if the media had found out, then that article could have been about me. Luckily I was "only" a support teacher - not a full time class teacher.

It's made me realise even more that there is a lot of hate out there.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 14:55:00

So the poor kiddiwinks are going to be eternally scarred by her name change, then? Isn't this what happens most times when female teachers get married?

Loving the bit where some moron goes on about the ten year old boy worrying about suddenly developing a girl's brain....because in DM-Land that's the worst thing that could ever happen, eh?

It's absolutely fine to explain this to children - it's only gender-polarising fuckwits who see it as a huge, confusing abberration from all that's right, and narrow and just so.....
Aaaaaaarrrrghhhghghghghghhhhhhhhhhh.

Fuck.

It seems like the school handled it really well, though. Such a dreadful shame.

That is shit and horrible.

Hope you're ok Kim, it must shake the hell of out you.

WilsonFrickett Thu 21-Mar-13 14:56:09

Kim I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but there is a lot of love too. Honestly, there is. The bigots' voices are sometimes the loudest, but they aren't the strongest. Stay strong.

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 14:56:31

Also, why don't these "concerned" types credit their children with some intelligence? Let's face it, 'man born into the wrong gender of body' is a pretty straightforward concept if you are not actually living it, but just trying to understand it. It's a lot less complicated to understand than, say, cancer or why people die of old age. If you don't over-complicate these things, they aren't complicated.

My mum clucked on for ages about me telling DS about gay people at 5. "You're bombarding him with information he doesn't need to know! He can't understand!" Errr, yeah,he DOES understand. I told him "Most men mary women and most women marry men but sometimes men marry men and women marry women." It really IS that simple. He understood it fine.

pansyflimflam Thu 21-Mar-13 15:00:00

We are all poorer for this sort of intolerance. What a sad thing for all of Lucy's family and pupils x

EasilyBored Thu 21-Mar-13 15:00:34

I don't think it would be a difficult conversation to have with a child, I can imagine that at some point in the future I will be talking to DS about how everyone is different etc. What I do think is going to be a difficult conversation is when I have to explain to him that people can be mean and hateful and bully people and that this can lead to people taking their own lives.

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 21-Mar-13 15:01:41

It's not just hate though, it's hate combined with fear and that is very hard to counter.
People stop thinking with what little brain they had and go on instinct, as if that makes prejudice more acceptable and understandable.
Sadly, we see it on MN too, in different scenarios
'Go with your gut, protect your children, you know when something isn't right, ignore the facts and see the threat...'
I hope you don't quit kim, the best education children can have is first-hand examples and experience, rather than a diet of rumour and prejudice.

TheChaoGoesMu Thu 21-Mar-13 15:05:07

This is so sad. My children would have no problem accepting something like this, because I would talk to them about it in a way that they would understand.

So speak for yourself Littlejohn you utterly worthless piece of shit. I hope you rot in hell.

RIP Lucy Meadows.

Don't let it stop you Kim. Not everyone is like that awful awful man!!! And we will be not be teaching our children to be so unaccepting of people and instead to be kind and decent and respectful.

Don't give up kim

pansyflimflam Thu 21-Mar-13 15:07:52

Kim, there is a lot of love from all my family. I want you to know if you were in my children's school I would be happier for it knowing that the school itself practised a policy of tolerance and inclusion. We all have value and the right to be understood and embraced for the person we are. I am terribly sorry that Lucy probably didn't find this during her life but you will find it - there are good loving tolerant people all over the place and on this thread it seems. Please come back here whenever you feel like and I know people here will remind you there is a lot of love.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 15:10:55

Seconding the love, Kim.

You'll also find support in the most unexpected places, too.
We have a M-F trans bus driver on our route. Coming home one day on the secondary school kick-out bus, with the trans driver...errrr...driving. Teenage boy A starts going on about faggots and so on (apols). I heard two or three of him friends telling him to shut up as the driver was (I heard something that was mumbled but ended with an offended sounding "so leave it out").

My son may be gender-fluid, and it's amazing how many people just accept it. He's six and knows about transvestites and transexuals. I tell him that (most) people are physically either-or, but that our minds and feelings aren't so much like that, and that there's a lot more room for manoeuvre with minds and feelings.

I knew about gays from an early age, and because I found out early, it didn't freak me out.

Yes just to clarify when I said my Ds would not be upset by this I meant the sex change. Teacher commiting suicide must be awful for them to handke

I am so sorry to hear this and so sorry that it's so upsetting personally for you and for every transsexual teacher Kim.

I remember the story quite vividly because it brought back memories of how freaked out and upset I was at the age of five when my lovely primary one teacher got married and came back from holiday Mrs Jones instead of Miss Smith. I got over it in about a day and a half. I'm sure with the appropriate guidance Lucy's pupils will have coped exactly the same way.

I hope not only vile scum like Littlejohn but horrible parents like Wayne Cowie take a long, hard look at themselves.

merlincat Thu 21-Mar-13 15:17:34

Kim flowers. Keep the faith.

KoalaFace Thu 21-Mar-13 15:21:01

RIP Lucy.

Its so sad that Lucy had lived so long feeling her mind and body were out of sync and then when that was being remedied she faced enough critiscism to want to end her life.

Littlejohn's article is an example of some of the attitudes she will have faced and I could cry for her.

fuzzysnout Thu 21-Mar-13 15:26:13

Nothing to say really. There are no words. Just wanted to add my voice of support for those who are suffering due to the prejudice of others. flowers

RIP Lucy. My heart breaks for her, her family, her school and her pupils. Just devastating. sad

Littlejohn can rot in hell. I wish him the same backlash that those Aussie radio presenters got in the wake of the Kate Middleton nurse suicide. What he's done is actually worse because he deliberately set out to victimise the poor teacher. 'Scum' is too high praise for him.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:42:01

having stood in school playgrounds for many years overhearing the lies, gossip and shit stirring, I can imagine what this teacher was subjected to . A parent at the school my dc's attended complained because a 7 yr old Muslim girl covered her arms and legs, fgs
Playgrounds can be vipers nests.

wordfactory Thu 21-Mar-13 15:42:12

RL is completely out of step here.

The school were supporting Lucy and by the looks of the quotes, so were most of the parents (cd only find that bloody Wayne man!). FFS even the parents of Lucy's ex wife were standing by her!!!!

RL you whipped up a storm over nothing and now look what happened.

RIP Lucy.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 15:42:39

Been trying to find a way to email the odious scrote.
Is he on lockdown?

wordfactory Thu 21-Mar-13 15:44:01

And how much did they pay you Wayne?

Was it enough?

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:45:49

There are real people behind stories. Words can hurt and I just wish the media would realise that such stories and the effects (such as hate mail) can have a devastating effect on people.

foslady Thu 21-Mar-13 15:46:25

If there's an imquest, I hope the coroner calls for RL to give evidence......

RIP Lucy.

BourbonsAndTea Thu 21-Mar-13 15:46:33

That news story was a terrible invasion of privacy. Who allowed that to be published? The poor woman had committed no crime and had simply made a choice to change her name and clothes. The children would have been no more confused about it than when a female teacher comes back from Honeymoon with a new name. If anything it would give children a valuable life lesson in being true to yourself. Things like this make me despair of society. My thoughts go to the family and anyone who has to experience such abuse from weak small minded people

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 15:47:35

Wayne probably isn't too bright and got carried away by talking to some hack from a national newspaper.

I shouldn't imagine he's feeling too chipper right now himself.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:48:38

Because unfortunately trans stories are still news. It's compulsory to mention the previous name, get the pronouns wrong and to try to get a "before" picture.

Fallenangle Thu 21-Mar-13 15:51:02

Interestingly many of the comments at the bottom of the 'news' piece on th DM website are supportive of Lucy.
The little boy worrying his brain might turn into a girl's raises so many issues on so many levels.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:52:02

as for Wayne "think of the children" Cowie, there's only one child i'm thinking of right now.

Lucy Meadows' 3 year old son who now has lost a parent due to ignorant attitudes.

Mrsrobertduvall Thu 21-Mar-13 15:56:54

Yes I wonder if Wayne Cowie is feeling proud of himself this afternoon.

Poor Lucy. Worth a million Wayne Cowies and Little johns.

CuriousMama Thu 21-Mar-13 15:57:59

sad Truly shocking this is still happening.

Well done to you kim147 and others like you who live their authentic lives.

I hope he's sacked and struggles to get employment.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 15:59:01

"They're too young to be dealing with that," said Wayne last year. I wonder how they'll deal with a fuckwit-assisted suicide.

Lottapianos Thu 21-Mar-13 16:06:07

Sickening and heart-breaking. That poor woman must have been to hell and back. How unbelievably sad and pathetic that some parents can't wrap their tiny peanut-sized brains around the concept of transgender and so transfer their rotten prejudices onto their children.

I try to do my (tiny) bit by reminding parents I work with (I'm a SLT) that there are no 'boys toys' or 'girl's toys', ditto clothes etc - all people need time and space to find out who they are and what they enjoy instead of being shoehorned into someone else's box. On days like this it all feels hopeless though.

Agree wholeheartedly with the Littlejohn is scum comments - he turns my stomach. If he's got any heart or soul at all, he should be utterly ashamed of himself today.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:10:42
Dawndonna Thu 21-Mar-13 16:14:27

RIP Lucy Meadows.

Kim stay strong. I hope you are okay, you must be able to see that you are safe and can get lots of support here.
((hugs))

Wolfiefan Thu 21-Mar-13 16:19:59

Think of the children?
I do! I care if they have a good teacher. Transsexual teacher? Couldn't care less. Dreadful judgemental society/media who persecutes people to death for living their lives? You bet I care.
Kim. Keep strong.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:21:40

whilst I think that was a bloody stupid article by LJ, I think we should all keep in mind that there may have been (in fact probably were) other factors in her death, information we don't know about and may never know. Perhaps things her closest family arn't even aware of.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:22:34

as was the case in the Kate Middleton hoax phone call case.

Pootles2010 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:23:39

Its only allowing me to see it for a second kim? Although tbf the title is quite enough...

Pootles2010 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:24:31

Sorry wee its nothing like the KM case. This was a deliberate vicious personal attack based on prejudice, rather than a daft prank badly judged.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:28:55

depression and the transgender community:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transmentalhealth.aspx

I have no time for RJ, but it's a massive over simplification to state conclusively that his article, and this alone, led directly to her death.

Pootles2010 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:34:57

No I agree, there may well be more to it, but it was a very nasty vicious attack that led to this poor woman's harrassment. I was objecting more to the km comparison tbh.

BigSpork Thu 21-Mar-13 16:40:11

I don't think anyone is saying it alone is the cause, but the media bullying and the increased bullying by others that it would likely cause should be considered.

The media is part of the biased system which attacks oppressed people and should be brought to attention and shown the consequences of furthering a negative, divided society for its' own self interests. And, as a member of trans* communities like myself are here, using the NHS to tell us how rife mental health problems are in our society that is practically built to rip a part our mental strength completely puts the blame on the victim rather than using resources on how to make education and media less problematic and biased.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:40:48

I don't know if it 'led to it'. The KM link is that 2 vulnerable people committed suicide after lots of media mockery and criticism. We now know the nurse had a prior history of suicide attempts and mental health issues. We don't know anything else about Lucy. It's a tragedy, but it's wrong to speculate that RJ's article was the catalyst for her suicide. None of us know what she was going through.

Lovelygoldboots Thu 21-Mar-13 16:50:51

The fact he just expected her to disappear to another job just shows the level of his prejudice. The fact she was an excellent teacher and much loved seems to count for nothing. Reading this has been an education at how much hate and bigotry exists. What a disgusting article from R L. Cheap bastard he is.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 17:01:31

the fact is, we're all responsible for her death.
Every single one of us who has ever sniggered for example,as a transgender person walked past us on the high street.
And yes, Mumsnet being a fairly well educated sub section of society, I wouldn't expect any of us to sneer publicly at someone because they had gender reassignment surgery. But, as a rough guess, I imagine over 50% of the population would sneer and pass judgment. I know there'd be a loud disgruntled hoo haa here if this situation occurred in our local school.

mummytotwins Thu 21-Mar-13 17:41:02

This is just so sad r.i.p Kim

What strikes me is how supportive the school seemed, it appears that they knew that the best way to rid the world of prejudice and misunderstanding is to educate the children, who hopefully in turn could have educated their parents a little (those who weren't supportive of miss meadows) it could have meant that maybe in the future utter fuckwits like littlejohn would cease to exist!

ohmentalnessisme Thu 21-Mar-13 18:01:38

This is so sad! I have a mtf transsexual friend, my dcs love her and call her auntie. They are too young to understand that she wasn't always female but if/when they ask it will just be explained very matter of factly. It doesn't need to be an issue at all, children are remarkably accepting when they are not surrounded by narrow minded bigots!

Kim hugs to you, I hope the posts on here have helped show you that the vast majority of people don't hold such disgusting views as those expressed in the daily fail.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 21-Mar-13 18:09:26

Kim, hope you are ok flowers

noblegiraffe Thu 21-Mar-13 18:11:58

I imagine that being bombarded with hate mail and being the subject of a hatchet job by a tabloid hack would be difficult for anybody to bear, let alone someone in the vulnerable position of just having made the decision to go public with a sex change.

Littlejohn deserves some blame for her tragic death. As does everyone who sent her hate mail.

MardyBra Thu 21-Mar-13 18:34:23

What a dreadful, sad, sad story.
I will be very intrigued to see how the DM reports this tomorrow (if at all?).

If any good comes out of Lucy's death, maybe it will be a severe downturn in the sales of the DM.

MardyBra Thu 21-Mar-13 18:35:49

I think Littlejohn is more to blame than the Aussie DJs, btw. What they did was low, BUT they did think they were playing a prank which wouldn't succeed. Littlejohn was deliberately going for the jugular (going in for the kill, so to speak).

hackmum Thu 21-Mar-13 18:55:46

I have read the Littlejohn article before - OP, I think maybe you linked about it in the thread about the Julie Burchill article.

The problem with the kind of article Littlejohn wrote is not that his opinions are offensive. It's the deliberate targeting of one individual who has done nothing wrong. Lucy wasn't a politician dreaming up heartless policies, or a banker ruining people's lives or a sexual abuser of children. She was just an ordinary person who had taken a step that probably required a good deal of courage. Turning the spotlight on someone like that without thought for the consequences for that individual is nasty and irresponsible.

It makes all those fine words we've heard in the past week about the freedom of the press, and the right of journalists to write whatever they want without regulation, seem very hollow indeed.

MardyBra Thu 21-Mar-13 19:11:34

Why is this story not on any of the main news websites? Surely this is of more importance than "Nick Clegg gets attacked by sahm" on the BBC news website (although that's a good story too).

TiggyD Thu 21-Mar-13 19:19:07

Tragic.

People, and I'm generously including Richard Littlejohn in that, have to accept reasonability for their actions. The newspaper and RL made a big fuss of somebody going through a difficult time and made their life much, much more difficult. The Mail and Littlejohn are partly responsible for Miss Meadows.

RIP.
flowers

girlwiththedragon Thu 21-Mar-13 19:20:35

I won't pretend to be an expert on any sort of issue relating to being transexual, but some of the posts here - "the love is there" have brought tears to my eyes.

I am so very sorry for Lucy and kim, thank you for drawing our attention to this flowers

The headteacher sounds like a lovely lady, I am sure the children attending that school will be treated well.

x

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 21-Mar-13 19:35:12

Great post hackmum.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 19:43:38

Whereabouts in the country are you, Kim?

Keepsmilingsunshine Thu 21-Mar-13 20:09:28

How incredibly sad. She had a young child who will now grow up without a parent, utterly heartbreaking.

I think the school should be commended for the support they provided Lucy and wish them well in the future weeks/months as they support the children and staff and what must be a very difficult time.

LandofTute Thu 21-Mar-13 20:24:04

Someone has made a jpeg of the original article by Littlejohn.
A few sites are reporting the death now. eg. The Mirror

mrsXsweet Thu 21-Mar-13 20:27:26

The daily mail are reporting it, I won't link. They can't accept comments for 'legal reasons'.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:28:46

Thanks for your kind words. They mean a lot. I was so angry when the initial article came out and I was only thinking about Lucy this week. I wrote to her offering support when the story broke but did not hear anything - I understood she had support locally. This news has really shaken me - hackmum is right. The article was about an individual just trying to live their life.

It's hard enough coming out - my sister does not want to know me but my Dad has been quite good. But then to have your story in the media just because you happen to be in a public role - I know she probably guessed it would happen but no one can really predict the reaction.

MardyBra Thu 21-Mar-13 20:29:08

I see there's no mention of Littlejohn or their coverage in the article. Bastards.

WidowWadman Thu 21-Mar-13 20:36:34

Just spotted this in the new statesman and thought of you, Kim. Hope you're ok.

The poor woman hasn't done anything wrong, it's so sad she's been driven to suicide by morons.

I don't think kids would even mildly give a toss if adults wouldn't teach them that being different is enough reason to be ridiculed and hated.

Conina Thu 21-Mar-13 20:39:23

Kim - if you are an inspirational teacher, talented and sensible then I'd be pleased you were teaching my DS. It's your qualities that should matter - rlj doesn't speak for ... well, anyone I know. I'm sorry for Lucy and her family. I'm so frustrated that the media aren't actually representing what's truly important in this life - and while I can't speak for anyone else, I will say that it wouldn't bother me one jot if DS had a transgender teacher as long as they were a good teacher. Beyond that, it isn't really anyone's business is it?

I hope I haven't said anything out of turn. I'm very sad for Lucy, and despondent at the sheer stupidity and spite of some people.

RIP Lucy

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:43:22

The difference between the Mirror article and the New Statesman article speaks volumes about how the media treat us - especially in terms of language, pictures and pronouns.

www.newstatesman.com/media/2013/03/lucy-meadows-trans-teacher-whose-gender-reassignment-made-news-found-dead-home-0

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sex-change-teacher-dies-aged-32-1777363

WidowWadman Thu 21-Mar-13 20:45:48

The mirror can fuck right off, can't it? Her name was Lucy. She killed herself
over this, and they don't have the fucking decency to respect her identity even now?

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 20:49:49

Just adding to the other voices on here Kim to say i hope you are ok. I actually bought the Mirror today. I wont be buying it again.

minouminou Thu 21-Mar-13 20:50:37

Father-of-one, Mr Upton......

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 21-Mar-13 21:01:25

Well, one good thing about the Mirror article - one of the comments gives this link to a petition calling for Littlejohn to be sacked.

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 21:06:14

Just spotted this blog about Lucy Meadows and the stigma she faced.

futiledemocracy.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/lucy-meadows/

Darkesteyes Thu 21-Mar-13 21:10:19

Signed.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:13:37

Signed. Not that it will make a difference but I just hope Richard Littlejohn will be reflecting tonight and that Lucy's death, as well as the death of other trans people, will not be in vain.

Sunnywithshowers Thu 21-Mar-13 21:14:22

Kim, I hope you're okay.

Fucking bastard press. So much for Leveson.

Bet the Daily Fail are loving the attention sad

WandaDoff Thu 21-Mar-13 21:30:07

Anyone noticed that the smaller article underneath is him saying how awful bullies are? Including the words "ruin people's lives with the most vile threats and smears"

petition signed.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:44:35

And the Sun can't get it right. They even sent someone round to her house FFS

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4854084/Sex-change-fury-primary-teacher-kills-himself-after-return.html

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 21:52:31

That Sun article is despicable. Him this and him that angry

I'm so glad though that Lucy had some support from parents. I hope she knew that she mattered to them. sad

wrigglerstea Thu 21-Mar-13 21:55:30

"Wayne" quoted as saying he has no idea why she killed herself. Bloody hell.

MsTakenidentity Thu 21-Mar-13 22:00:15

RIP Lucy sad <gobsmacked @ Sun article angry >

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:06:21

A friend of mine was a supply teacher - about 6 years ago. It turned out she had been blacklisted by agencies as some parents complained to schools about having a transsexual teacher - she ended up suing the LEA but there was some awful articles and letters to the local papers.

I'm lucky to have been invited back to schools and pupils have been really good (although they do ask some interesting questions). I just tell them briefly about it if it's becoming an issue but they've all been really good and make a real effort to call me "Miss".

But a big part of me wonders if the reason I'm not getting a job is because of it. There could be other reasons like cost, age and not having worked in a full time post for a few years but I have had many interviews in the last 2 years and no joy.

Fallenangle Thu 21-Mar-13 22:17:44

Kim, you may well be right, although selection should be criteria based, subjective assessment is what actually happens. Easier for panel to appoint someone non controversial. They may well be thinking, 'we don't want to be in the Daily Mail'. Keep going though especially at schools you have supplied in and been asked back. Its tough being a pioneer, but admirable that you are true to yourself.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 21-Mar-13 22:20:50

Kim, I just read the whole thread. You are a very, very brave woman. I so hope you get a great teaching job soon. Fwiw Dd had a transgender supply teacher the other day and was so thrilled as she loved my friend who was trans who recently passed away. Dd said "mummy, I was so pleased and wanted to chat with her and tell her about R* and then ask her what stage of the process she was at but I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do"!!!!!!

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:21:35

Where do you live Cherries ?

Cherriesarelovely Thu 21-Mar-13 22:23:13

Norwich, was it you?!!!!

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:24:46

No - but it's nice to know there's someone else out there. I thought I was unique in my position.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 21-Mar-13 22:34:18

It is nice to know I bet! Keep on doing what you are doing. Just by being yourself and being open and honest with the children you are doing so much to broaden their minds, It must be very tough though, I find it irksome being gay sometimes. I don't think of myself as "a gay teacher" I just think of myself as a teacher and it always shocks me when other people focus on my gayness! Anyway, I have huge admiration for you. x

MardyBra Thu 21-Mar-13 23:09:26

Petition signed.

thezebrawearspurple Thu 21-Mar-13 23:41:15

Very sad. I can't imagine how invasive it must be for any individual to have their deeply personal life experiences splashed over the media, to be mocked, bullied, criticised in the papers and online blog's, all that on top of the reactions she must have been experiencing first hand from neighbours etc... That level of humiliation and feelings of being invaded would be enough to push anyone over the edge.

It's a cop out to try and blame Richard Littlejohns one article, it wasn't just him and the problem isn't his opinions, it's his exploitation of a vulnerable individual, invading that persons privacy and holding them up for public shaming to try and make his case, the whole media is responsible for doing the same.

Private individuals should be protected from press intrusion, it is astounding to think that it is even legal for them to invade and destroy the lives of innocent people. They should be free to give any opinion they want but they should not be allowed invade the privacy and dignity of private people.

kim147 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:42:02

Very good report on the World Tonight about 26 mins

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01r9sw8

minouminou Fri 22-Mar-13 09:07:42

Also, as odious as Wayne Cowie's actions were, Zebra, he's been exploited and manipulated by the Mail.

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:24:19

I can't imagine what she was going through. The media exposure, being a centre of discussion, hate mail, some unsupportive parents and then having to live in an area where some people disapprove and probably showed it.

A friend of mine lives in the same part of the world as Lucy and she is terrified of coming out. I'm lucky - I live in an area where I feel safe and I have not faced any real abuse. The only thing I get is second looks, occasional whispering of "Is that a man" and furtive glances. I can tell when someone has noticed me. I can live with that - but it does annoy me. I can imagine Lucy went through much more.

Littlejohn is not the sole culprit - but part of a culture which does not care about the individual behind a story. Ridiculing of trans people is prevalent in the media. The Daily Mail has a thing about trans stories. If you are young and pass, they like you. If not, they hate you.

The Daily Mail still can't report it right or with any respect. Their headline/sub headings today

"Primary school teacher, 32, who announced to pupils he was changing sex is found dead at home

Nathan Upton taught at St Mary Magdalen's Church of England Primary School, in Accrington, Lancs
He switched his name to Miss Lucy Meadows after undergoing gender reassignment surgery"

FFS, they have to refer to "he" and "Nathan" don't they.

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:42:46

From what I know, she had not had surgery. It does not just happen.

Most of the tabloids have got it wrong and show no respect.

noblegiraffe Fri 22-Mar-13 10:17:10

Kim, sorry to ask on a tragic thread like this, but opportunities rarely arise: what is the preferred etiquette for referring to a trans person's sex in the past before they came out? Obviously Lucy should be referred to as she, but when the papers say 'in 2009 he married...' is that wrong, although in 2009 she was living as a man?

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:23:49

This is probably the best place to get advice especially for journalists.

www.transmediawatch.org/media.html

I think it's polite to use "she" even when referring to the past.

Sunnywithshowers Fri 22-Mar-13 10:28:56

Today's Metro used male names and pronouns too sad

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 22-Mar-13 10:39:13

Hi there,

We've moved this to ITN now.

beansmeansbooks Fri 22-Mar-13 11:44:01
TheYamiOfYolk Fri 22-Mar-13 12:18:36

I've been thinking about this since I heard he news yesterday evening. Poor, poor woman.

TheYamiOfYolk Fri 22-Mar-13 12:53:00

And I would be happy for you to teach my kids, Kim, and I live in your area.

That what makes it so horrible, as well. It's not just one woman being driven to her death (although that's the worst part), but hundreds of other people in fear of media exposure, and employers having the media to consider when they hire someone new, and people being scared of being open and honest because what happens is that you get a hateful colums written about you.

notcitrus Fri 22-Mar-13 13:10:19

Thank you people on this thread for restoring my faith in MN as being mostly full of decent people. Too often threads on trans issues are full of people claiming trans women aren't really women and to say they are is unfeminist, which is a pile of crap but the threads stay...

Good luck Kim.

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 13:19:19

Thanks - the support means a lot to me. I can't explain how much this story has affected me. I knew that the media story might happen to me but I was lucky as I did not have a full time class and was mainly a support tutor and part time teacher.

I was terrified the first day I came out - I looked for any media as I drove up. But nothing. The children were really good. I also did support at a secondary school - walking round that school was frightening. Never had so many looks. The head there approached it differently - she rang up the parents who I tutored. 1 parent was not happy having me sad

But I escaped media coverage. Lucy didn't. Apparently the press were hounding her at her house, ringing her up and trying to get a photo. How do you cope with that?

I'm still crying over this.

Sunnywithshowers Fri 22-Mar-13 13:26:49

(((Kim))) thanks

GoshAnneGorilla Fri 22-Mar-13 13:33:04

Kim - you know I think you're amazingly brave, although I wish you didn't have to be, it should be no big deal to live the life that is right for you.

I'm glad this thread has been supportive, there has been hideous transphobia on MN, I hope all those who were defending/justifying Julie Birchill's vile piece take some time to reflect.

Transphobia isn't just nasty, it kills. R.I.P Lucy.

With this and the handling of other recent stories, I'm disgusted with the U.K media.

MardyBra Fri 22-Mar-13 13:48:10

I was in a cafe earlier and flicked through the papers. I couldn't see this story covered at all in The Times and there was just a small paragraph hidden away in the depths of the DM. I wouldn't have been aware of this without MN. Thanks for bringing it to our attention kim.

giraffesCantDateDucks Fri 22-Mar-13 14:00:01

sad

Fluffymonster Fri 22-Mar-13 15:00:34

It's weird, this story has affected me too - I can hardly believe it, but have been quite teary when I read this thread, yet I have had no personal dealings in RL with trans issues.

Perhaps it's just a simple matter of feeling really sad that anyone can be made to feel so sh*t about who they are deep down - I think 'being born with a girl's brain trapped in a boy's body' is a really good way of putting it. How is anyone in a position to judge that? Sigh. Heavy heart these past couple of days.

I've actually felt compelled to write to the Head Teacher of the school, to pass condolences to Lucy's family and to the staff and pupils - and to say I applaud the support they showed. Don't know if it would help, but just wanted to take the time, say something. Not written a real (as in handwritten, on paper) letter in years!!

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 15:03:18

I emailed the head yesterday and thanked them for their support.

everlong Fri 22-Mar-13 15:07:35

I think this tragedy has affected many for different reasons.

Suicide is an extremely sensitive area for me. Anybody that feels that desperate to go through with it touches me. Especially in cases like this where someone is publicly humiliated.

Kim I hope you feel the support here for you flowers

BornInACrossFireHurricane Fri 22-Mar-13 15:51:03

Kim, I think you're wonderful. I really hope all the support and love you have on here goes some way to helping with all the utter crap you have to deal.

RIP Lucy xx I truly hope that odious, smug little man loses his job so he can't spread his bile anymore.

MuggleMum Fri 22-Mar-13 20:44:43

Found the petition. Here it is, if you haven't signed already,
t.co/qSZFDJIsOb

MuggleMum Fri 22-Mar-13 20:45:44

http://t.co/qSZFDJIsOb
You have to scroll down a bit ...

AllPurposeNortherner Fri 22-Mar-13 21:12:13

A trans friend of mine blogged about it here

AllPurposeNortherner Fri 22-Mar-13 21:17:43

Something about the Mail article saying "Miss Lucy Meadows" but not "Mr Nathan Upton" is horrible. I think it just makes it sound more mocking somehow - it is obviously that Lucy is a female name, putting in the Miss makes it sound somehow mocking.

Completely agree with you AllPurpose - I noticed that emphasis. The original article was absolutely disgusting too, just so mocking and cruel.

WidowWadman Fri 22-Mar-13 21:35:27

The Bethany Black blogpost is brilliant. Loved the "but we've just built a conservatory" bit.

Meanwhile, a Daily Fail Spokesman is quoted to have said

""It is regrettable that this tragic death should now be the subject of an orchestrated twitterstorm, fanned by individuals – including former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell – with agendas to pursue."

Speechless

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 21:35:43

The Daily Mail does not think it's done anything wrong.

www.channel4.com/news/transsexual-teacher-dies-after-hitting-headlines

"In a statement, a Daily Mail spokesman told Channel 4 News: "It is regrettable that this tragic death should now be the subject of an orchestrated twitterstorm, fanned by individuals – including former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell – with agendas to pursue.

"They might do well to consider today's words of media commentator Roy Greenslade: 'Let me begin this posting by urging that people do not rush to judgment... It is important to note that there is no clear link – indeed any link – between what Littlejohn wrote and the death of Lucy Meadows.'

"Our thoughts are with the family and friends of Lucy Meadows.""

Does he have no idea of the sheer hell Lucy went through once her story came out?

It's been great reading the support on MN. It's been a very hard day and it is so close to home for me. I just wish I could have been there for her and supported her through this as a fellow transsexual primary teacher.

Darkesteyes Fri 22-Mar-13 21:39:06

Kim you sound like a lovely person and a wonderful teacher and if i had Dcs i would be pleased if they had you as a teacher thanks

Im sorry you are so upset sad

Darkesteyes Fri 22-Mar-13 21:42:31

I saw Alistair Campbells tweet earlier. The Mail really have no fucking idea do they. They hounded someone to their death. BASTARDS.

Darkesteyes Fri 22-Mar-13 21:45:01

Agendas to persue??!!! THEY were the ones doing the persuing. Cheeky fuckers.

Lighthousekeeping Fri 22-Mar-13 21:45:23

Signed and shared. I was also surprised not to see it in the papers today.

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 21:50:20

Hidden away in the back pages.

Lucy sent some emails - this is from the Guardian
www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/mar/22/trans-teacher-lucy-meadows-press?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487

"Lucy Meadows became pretty good at avoiding the press. She slipped out of her back door before the paparazzi arrived and crept round to school long before lessons started, staying in the classroom way after hometime.

But it was difficult, the primary school teacher told a friend via email in January, knowing there was a price on her head. "I know the press offered parents money if they could get a picture of me," she wrote on New Year's Day, just before she contacted the Press Complaints Commission (PCC), asking for journalists and photographers to stop hanging around outside her school and home in Accrington, Lancashire.

All she ever wanted, she told her friend in emails shared with the Guardian, "was to be me", the person she always felt she was meant to be, a woman and not the man she had been born 32 years earlier."

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 21:52:05

This is an article written mainly by a friend of mine, Natacha, who was blacklisted as a trans supply teacher. She still has to "pretend" to be male as part of her job in schools.

www.channel4.com/news/transsexual-teacher-dies-after-hitting-headlines

Smithson6 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:02:37

RIP Lucy and love and support to Kim. So, so sad. x

siiiiiiiiigh Fri 22-Mar-13 22:03:18

Kim, a close friend of mine committed suicide. For a long time I felt terribly guilty - if only I'd called, if only I'd popped round, if only I'd been more attentive she might not have done it. But, she wanted to die. And so, she did. It's heartbreakingly sad, and it's painful still - but, you shouldn't feel responsible for Lucy's pain. After all, you were not the cause of that pain which she could not suffer. x

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:15:02

I've contacted the Guardian as I want to tell my story. Apparently one of the editors was in the same year as me at school.

Sunnywithshowers Fri 22-Mar-13 22:16:32

That's a much nicer article Kim.

It is so nonsensical that people are being discriminated against in this way.
I'm so sad that Natacha is able to be herself at Goldsmith's (am a student there and it's great) but has to be someone else for her students. sad

Smithson6 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:18:23

Kim are you sure? you are hurting right now- that's a big decision. maybe take a couple of weeks and see if you still feel the same way then? I'm not saying dont do it, just give yourself a bit more time maybe?

kim147 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:23:22

It would be anonymous - as I do not want to expose my family to any hassle.

Smithson6 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:28:45

I totally understand why you would want to do that but would still worry about confidentiality in the press. I've seen the Guardian's anonymous features on first person experiences and enjoy reading them but would still worry about you. Its hard to retain anonymity when there are such a small pool of transexual teaching staff, you might be more identifiable than you think- even as an anonymous voice.

WidowWadman Fri 22-Mar-13 22:54:38

Reading about the doorstepping, the hounding, the bribing to get pictures of someone who was just going about their own life is making me angry. There was no need for this, they don't have the public interest defence.

The phone hacking scandal was bad. This is worse.

And at the same time there's all the gnashing of teeth and wailing about Leveson wanting to kill the free press by the same outlets who have driven this woman (and doubtlessly other people too). Wankers.

MsTakenidentity Fri 22-Mar-13 23:26:46

I've contacted the Guardian as I want to tell my story. Apparently one of the editors was in the same year as me at school > God bless you Kim - but please take care x

KRITIQ Sat 23-Mar-13 01:33:43

Kim, only just saw this here, but been thinking of you since story broke on Twitter. I have no words for what happened. RIP Lucy Meadows and please, please take care if you do decide to share your story anywhere. Seem to be alot of women being blasted for speaking out about misogyny, transmisogyny, racism, etc on t'interweb. Take care of yourself x

JillJ72 Sat 23-Mar-13 08:49:27

I think it's poppycock that children can't be told a simple version of the truth. They are a lot more accepting than adults. I have signed. I am saddened by this. Just because I am happy in my skin doesn't mean it's OK for someone else not to be, because they're "not like me". Equality and diversity, more and more those words make sense to me. Things have got to change, and that starts with our children.

Kim - I wish you well.

kim147 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:11:37

This is what she wrote;
"“I do just want to get on with things but the more I talk to (and deal with) people the more I find myself wanting to do something to rectify gaps in people’s knowledge and understanding on LGBT issues and combat bigotry and prejudice.

“I do hope that times really are changing; it’s nice to think that one day in the near future issues like this will be in the past… I guess I started out just wanting to be me and figured out each step I’d take at a time. Not everything has gone the way I wanted but things have fallen into place one way or another and I am happy where I am at the moment. The guidance I have had from the trans community has been generally sound and very appreciated and I’d like to be able to say I have given something back.

“I suppose the best way for me to do this would be educate the people around me and children at school – I am a teacher after all!” "

Her death will not be in vain.

WidowWadman Sat 23-Mar-13 19:33:13

Looks like some people have started organising boycott against advertisers of the Daily Mail in protest. faeinterrupted.wordpress.com/2013/03/23/lucys-law/

Ponders Sat 23-Mar-13 20:29:54

the Littlejohn piece was actually published three months ago, on 20th Dec. That was just one day after news articles appeared in the Lancashire media, accompanied by comments from families attending the school suggesting that some of them were already a bit concerned about the situation.

eg Lancashire Telegraph, 19th Dec

Has the DM published anything else about it since? Is this sad outcome really their responsibility?

kim147 Sat 23-Mar-13 21:16:35

To be honest, the Daily Mail cannot be blamed for her death. No one knows what happened and what was happening in her mind.

The media, including the DM, played a part in the anti - trans agenda which is real and exists in media land. I really hope this tragic event makes them look hard at themselves.

siiiiiiiiigh Sat 23-Mar-13 23:45:18

I worked with a woman, who'd presented in a man's body. Forgive me if that's not PC way of putting it - I remain, to my shame, clumsy.

The point is, she told me that her condition was a terminal one. That, if she couldn't transition in her workplace, and live her life as she needed it to be, that it would be unbearable. And, like Lucy, she worked with vulnerable people (in NHS)

Anyhoo, OUR workplace closed ranks round her and spat in the faces of the hacks round the hospital gates until they got bored and wandered off.

She's now post-op. And, happily, alive.

Trans can be a life-limiting conditon. It's not, but, it is.

That's tragic. I'm glad it worked out well for my colleague, and sad that it did not for Lucy. Just, pure, sad.

Fucks' sake. Not sad, just, pure, mad.

RIP, Lucy.

kim147 Tue 26-Mar-13 22:45:15

Just to let you know that Parliament has tabled an early day motion on trans reporting.

www.parliament.uk/edm/2012-13/1256

Things might be changing.

LandofTute Tue 26-Mar-13 22:56:38

Good news

GoshAnneGorilla Wed 27-Mar-13 00:10:28

That is great news, worth writing to our M.P's about.

SergeantSnarky Wed 27-Mar-13 02:08:49

Excellent article today and petition going strong

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/26/lucy-meadows-death-not-in-vain

SpecialAgentDaenerysTargaryen Thu 28-Mar-13 09:04:16

Signed.

beansmeansbooks Thu 28-Mar-13 10:27:10

This is a very good breakdown of how the "story" unfolded and to which extent the DM is / isn't to blame.

dan-waddell.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/here-there-be-monstering.html

kim147 Thu 28-Mar-13 13:57:41

The DM is not to blame. Being trans can really fuck with your head. I know too many people who are trans and have committed suicide, even after surgery.

But at least people might take trans reporting seriously now.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now