Madeleine McCann info shown before Shrek, anyone else cross about this?

(1008 Posts)
WideWebWitch Sun 01-Jul-07 20:00:11

I was. I have chosen NOT to tell my nearly 4yo about this. I haven't discussed it in detail with 9yo ds either I CHOOSE not to put the news on in our house. I really resent this being shoved at my children before a U cert movie. Completely inappropriate imo.

jojo234 Wed 04-Jul-07 14:21:57

I came to this forum after reading in the newspaper that angry parents had objected to the advert about Madeline McCann being shown before the Shrek movie.

I couldn't believe there were people happily sitting with their kids who after watching this ad were so angry that they took the time to complain to the cinema and ad standards. Whatever offence you or your children may have experienced from being exposed to this ad is absolutely suger plum fairy stuff compared to what the poor McCann's are going through and God only knows about little Madeline. Please people, if this ad has made you see red, look at your beautiful children that are still with you and say a 'thank you' to whatever higher being you believe in.

That poor family, having to apologise for 'offence caused', must be hurt and dazed by this selfishness.


NKF Wed 04-Jul-07 14:02:38

Nobody has said they want to keep bad news from their children all the time. I don't need to check back to know that nothing so silly and unachievable was said. People have chosen a different way of managing news with their children to you. In order to win your point, you are exaggerating and ridiculing their position into some extreme form of mollycoddling.

slim22 Wed 04-Jul-07 13:59:24


haychee Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:56

A public gathering raises awareness, keeps her image in the public eye. Id certainly want my daughter to be shown everywhere to everyone until she was found

Well done tree!
I came too early...

magicfarawaytree Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:27

was it me?

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:25

Hathor please dont be a dick

SueBaroo Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:23

and edging ever closer..

magicfarawaytree Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:10



MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:59

Sorry type - should have said @we are not neerssarily'

Hathor Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:38

Nine hundred and ninety 5

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:26

Haychee - We are necessarily keeping it secret. [sigh] Some of us have told our children what we feel is suitable. The advert takes the chioce away from the parents of how much they want to say. I am suprised, giving that you have gone away to think about it, that you still cannot see that our argument is that we we not given a choice. I had already told my ds but I didnt tell him she was snatched from her bed. Unecessay and scary detail for a child imo, neither did the advert make it clear the childrne did not have their mum or dad around them.

{sigh] you seem so stuck in the I am right you are wrong attitude you cant actually see what people are trying to say.

magicfarawaytree Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:13

does it count to cheat to get to 1000!

haychee Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:07

No im not! There are parents who have written here that there is absolutely no way they want their children to find out, they want them to be carefree. Read back and will see them there.

ELF1981 Wed 04-Jul-07 13:56:11

How is a public gathering going to help?

Do you really think that if we gather around in a big group that the person(s) who have taken her will just say "oh right, okay, I'll just give her back then".

Besides, that's going off the point of the thread.

Kids need to know about safe sex and drugs as well, but it doesn't mean I'd be happy seeing an advert for the like before a U film.

Time and place, and all that.

Hathor Wed 04-Jul-07 13:55:30

Nine hundred and ninety two

NKF Wed 04-Jul-07 13:55:12

Good afternoon rather.

NKF Wed 04-Jul-07 13:54:48

Good morning, Haychee. There are no parents who think they can keep all the bad news in the world a secret from their kids. You are arguing against a point of view that exists only in your imagination.

haychee Wed 04-Jul-07 13:50:46

It appears that we do not all have the same view. This is most probobly because we all have very different children who would react enitely differently.
I want to say very good luck to those parents who think they can keep all the bad stuff in the world a secret from their kids, but im certain this tactic will backfire! I read here that one parent is certain that their child of 7or8 has no idea of madeleines plight. This astounds me! Surely this 7or8 year old attends a school with other kids?! I know for certain that madeleine has been bought up at my daughters school assembly and they have prayed for her safe return.
It is quite obvious that some parents are outraged and they are entitled to have the choice as to how and when such an issue is released to their children, but surely 60 days+ is enough of a timescale to have been able to have done this?!
Of course there is the issue of age and the abilities of a 2year old and a 8year old to be able to fully comprehend the ad. That is why us as parents should be able to be confident about talking openly to our children at a level which suits their own individual emotional stability. I know how to approach my children with regard to such a topic and those parents who are worried about their children finding out need to be able to find that level which suits their child.
Noone wants to have to upset or unduly worry their children, but some are just feisty, strong and think they are invincible. When of course we all know that there is danger everywhere in society and some kids need that reminder!
Having written on here yesterday i am now far more aware that some kids will be upset and worried about madeleine and i can understand how that inturn makes parents want to keep it a secret. But, realistically how can you shield them from the news? By turning off the tv and radio? What worries me the most is when a parent chooses to keep it all hidden from the children, what happens when they find out snippets of information in the playground? Maybe they will imagine the missing gaps and make it up in their head or will they dwell on it quietly and suffer in silence? Id prefer to have got it out in the open and discussed it with my children, that way they have the story straight and they will not be shocked by overhearing or seeing something youd prefer them not to know.

As you may have guessed, i am fully backing the promotion of madeleines campaign at any outlet that seems appropriate, and any public gathering would seem highly appropriate to me.

Didn't see it at Kingston Odeon on Sunday (but we were a bit late). Would have been furious as I took DD's friends and I have no idea what their mothers would have thought plus having to answer lots of questions...

Show it to an audience that aren't then going to be scared out of their wits i.e. adults not those viewing a U cert.

I expect it was all planned and done in good faith but perhaps without consideration to who the actual audience would be.

WaynettaWiggumSpice Wed 04-Jul-07 13:48:07

Are we there yet?

NKF Wed 04-Jul-07 13:46:42

The advert hasn't been stopped, just restricted to films for people
over a certain age. Sorry, bit pedantic I know.

Hathor Wed 04-Jul-07 13:45:56

Power to the people.

Amaris Wed 04-Jul-07 13:43:47

Stopping this advert has made the front page of our local paper - article linked from here - it says "The move comes after hundreds of complaints were posted on the website Mumsnet about the clip being shown before the children's film, Shrek the Third"

bundlecod Wed 04-Jul-07 13:23:51


ELF1981 Wed 04-Jul-07 13:11:49

I would love to be 1000, just to be special

maisemor Wed 04-Jul-07 12:55:12

So who is going to be no. 1000, any bets?

maisemor Wed 04-Jul-07 12:54:26

Danish trolls are much prettier than any other trolls. No spray works on them, only kissies and cuddles

slim22 Wed 04-Jul-07 12:49:17

shrek as cool as ever

psweudonym Wed 04-Jul-07 12:38:32

So, what was Shrek 3 like? Worth seeing?

Mrbatters Wed 04-Jul-07 12:36:47

<<batters joins in the headbanging just to get the thread up to 1000 messages>>

kookaburra Wed 04-Jul-07 12:26:34

Maybe I've missd something - but is there evidence that she actauly was snatched from her bed rather than the more likely scnario of waking up scared and wandering out to look for her mum & dad and being intercepted on the main road?
I can see that the 'snatched from her bed' scenario is the one the McCann's are pushing but has this been established as the truth yet??????? Presumably unless she and the perp are found no-one can know?

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 12:03:47

I dont mind this thread soupy

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-07 12:02:58

"sorry, you not important to me, my daughter is."

So is it acceptable for me to say she is not important to me but my children are?

Chin up head-banging ladies, not many more posts til 1000 and this thread is locked down

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 11:52:49

Does that mean we will get scandanvien trolls?? Do they look different and does the troll spray work on them too?

maisemor Wed 04-Jul-07 11:46:17

This thread has now made it to the Danish newspapers

JoolsToo Wed 04-Jul-07 11:46:05

reins are always an option but seldom used today

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 11:44:39


LittleBoot Wed 04-Jul-07 11:34:36

DeJager, it's not your children's responsibility to not run off from you, it's your responsibility to try and ensure they don't run off from you. (And you won't always manage it, no technique is entirely perfect.)

There are various techniques. One is to bash your child if they run away. Another is to yell abusively at them and / or threaten to bash them. Yet another is to scare them by telling them that if they wander off, nasty men will take them away like they did that poor little girl in Portugal.

None of the techniques I've mentioned are considered good, responsible ones by civilised intelligent people. So excuse me if I pass on using any of them.

partlyqualifiedpaediatrician Wed 04-Jul-07 11:33:58

joins in headbanging too!! ffs

bundle Wed 04-Jul-07 11:33:22

this still going?


MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 11:30:31

[awen joins sandcastles and enid]

sandcastles Wed 04-Jul-07 11:26:46

[sandcastles joins Enid]

Enid Wed 04-Jul-07 10:55:58

[bangs head against brick wall]

NKF Wed 04-Jul-07 10:54:46

Dejager - you don't need an advert to teach your kids that lesson. And the snatched from bed message has no relevance to that situation.

Enid Wed 04-Jul-07 10:52:38

"I also want my kids to know that little girl is missing, perhaps they will think twice about running off while we out shopping or running ahead when we in a crowded place and giving me instant heart failaur. "

how selfish

DeJager Wed 04-Jul-07 10:51:10

I want my kids to know that not everything in life is peachy hunky dory.
Of course we don't tell them the real horror, but we don't keep it from them the fact that there are bad people out there who hurt other people.

I also want my kids to know that little girl is missing, perhaps they will think twice about running off while we out shopping or running ahead when we in a crowded place and giving me instant heart failaur.

Also, if that was your child missing, would you not want to try every possible means/way to find her, and that would include the advert at the movies.
Or just for the sake of offending other people...not use the chance...If that was me. I would use the chance...sorry, you not important to me, my daughter is.

I called odeon and told them well done and thank you. I think they did good to help, when they did not have to do this in the first place.

sandcastles Wed 04-Jul-07 10:06:56

To all those who said they tell their children & then say "it won't happen to you as mummy are daddy are in the house" think about this...

Here, not long ago a man crept in thru the back door of a house, at night. He proceeded to sexually abuse an 8 yr old. Her mum & a friend were in the lounge.

Should I tell my 3 yr old about this? No, just like I haven't told her about Madeleine, because I want her to have a child hood & not have to worry about a little girl who is missing.

Because I think my daughter would get upset about it & I'm not going to do that to my child.

ellis65 Wed 04-Jul-07 10:04:49

Tissy: I took kids to Odeon in Kilmarnock on Sat30th June and they definately showed it before Shrek movie,

ELF1981 Wed 04-Jul-07 08:26:40

Post By haychee on Tue 03-Jul-07 21:45:21

That was the exact point of the debate - that we want to tell our children if we feel it is necessary, not them being told at the cinema before a childs film.

I have liked this debate.

I checked The Sun today to see if they had added my comment and they have taken the story off their pages. I'm obviously posted something so astounding they didn't want to hurt their readers brains with it

Mrbatters Wed 04-Jul-07 08:22:06

And in the Metro. We are "bloggers" apparantly.

Spider Tue 03-Jul-07 23:20:33

This thread was on BBC London 94.9 news this morning. Did anyone hear it?

ThePedantifier Tue 03-Jul-07 22:32:36

<dashes NKF across the face>

<knees her in the colon>

And let that be a lesson to you!

<flies off, swishing her cape>

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:28:18

It was me. Hangs head in shame. I retyped, forgot to change, can only weep.

ThePedantifier Tue 03-Jul-07 22:27:17

Someone beamed my special colon sign into the sky! I am needed! Where is the grammatical emergency?! <hands on hips, looks around expectantly>

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:26:19


NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:26:13

Why do you want to end the thread? Why not just ignore it?

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:26:11


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:57


MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:52

Joolstoo - Please dont.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:47


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:39


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:30


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:19


MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:15

true littlelapin JUst get annoyed by having a whole thread used up because it disagres with some mumsnetters. Just feel a bit 'nanny state' if you know what i mean.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:11


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:25:03


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:56


NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:49

You did it earlier. Or someone will be on at me about my typing.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:47


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:39


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:30


NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:27

Haychee - most parents know that children can't be shielded from knowledge of danger. One of the things we teach them is how to recognise danger and how to respond to it. And they choose when to do it. The fact that you've did it earlier is your choice.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:22


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:15


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:24:08


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:23:58


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:23:51


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:23:45


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:23:39



littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:22:35


littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:22:22

Oh awen, it was only about 10 posts, there's been waaay more than that of complete and utter tosh [wink


We have been over run by men.

We must have been, they ran straight past the aspirational toiletries and started a fight.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:20:24

Hey guys dont fill up thread, actually thought it was an interesting debate at times.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:20:06

oh its stopped then

littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:19:46


Apu - are you Abu?




MadamePlatypus Tue 03-Jul-07 22:19:12

Have they announced the winner of "An Afternoon Tea Tray for One?". Should I check the thread or CNN?

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:18:53

Jonnie is in the house...............wearing Crocs..........OMG where is COD ??

where you live Haychee

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:17:22

Nobody asked you to tell us how much to tell our children and nobody asked the advertisers too either!

Get over your ego.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:17:18


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:17:00


No idea

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:16:42


please stop the barrage of haychee

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:16:21


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:16:12


JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:16:03


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:58


haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:57

Im sorry if i have been rude to any of you but some of the comments i recieved wound me up! Big time! Wells in particular, and some comments about my grammer! These issues made took the issue away of the point iwas trying to make. I give up!
I just wanted to try and make some people see that kids cant be hidden from the dangers in the world. They listen with ears wide open - they know more than you would like them to, its unavoidable.

JoolsToo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:55


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:47


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:36


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:15:26


MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:14:39

Haychee - this was made by you BEFORE wells comments

haychee on Tue 03-Jul-07 18:39:55 'My question to those foolish parents is,' 'I think that the worry here is that those parents who object do not have the intelligence to be able to discuss the topic with their children and do not know the correct language skills and way to go about reassuring their own children that they are infact safe in their beds.'

So we are follish and thick - ffs dont play the victim.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:14:31



To quote my Dad who was a newspaper man, paper has never refused ink.

edam Tue 03-Jul-07 22:12:45

A level English usually teaches one to distinguish between "your" and "you're" IME.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:12:42

Very much off on a tangent here but am I the only one to think that it must be a very slow news day when 400 posts on mumsnte makes the national press?


Why should you be annoyed by Wells ??

You were suggesting we tell it like it is, as opposed to protecting our children.

As it so happens...............Wells told it like it is..................HORRIBLE is it not ??

I rest my case.

littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:10:15


NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:09:59

Haychee - I think you're arguing from the position that all children will find out about this story and very soon. And so parents should get in first. Not everyone thinks that.

littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:09:56


littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:09:31


littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:08:57


wells Tue 03-Jul-07 22:07:39

Now, which of you little kiddies knows what happened to a little boy called Jamie Bulger...none of you! And you call yourselves four year olds! Tsk tsk. Well, once upon a time, a little boy went shopping with his mummy...and some big boys took him away and killed him DEAD!

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:07:37

haychee, that is a bit - "Mr Kettle, Mr Pot is on the line with a message for you"

You made numerous disparaging remarks about people who disagreed with you and then you blew the sarcasm fuse with me over my education choices for my children.

littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 22:06:12

It is possible to ignore things, you know...

(really should take my own advice)

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 22:04:47

just check the remarks made by wells
I was livid, still am! I do not want to upset people, but it seems ok for me to be upset.
So unfair.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 22:04:12

Haychee - that "I don't mean anyone in particular. I just think some people are really stupid" defence is always a tricky one to pull off. The tendency is for posters to think you're referring to people who disagree with you. It also gives the impression that you want to insult someone but aren't quite prepared to do it directly.

But all I'm really trying to say is that throughout the debate, you gave the impression of being quite able to take care of yourself.

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 22:01:20

pmsl at wells

MadamePlatypus Tue 03-Jul-07 22:01:11

Exactly LadyVictoriaofCake.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 22:01:00

It isnt your spelling it is the fact that you felt it was ok to insult people by name calling. Sorry but when you stoop to that level I am not particularly intereted in your point of view as your views lose validity when you become downright offensive. Secondly when you become personal and offensive I am not going to treat you with the courtesy I usually give other posters.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 22:00:43

I am not aiming any insulting remarks directly unless i address the message to you. I am recieveing alot of abuse because im typing very fast and because i have an opinion that is different

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 22:00:00

I second that, actually. Always pleased to meet someone who can stick around for a debate.

Nightynight Tue 03-Jul-07 21:58:15

welcome to mumsnet by the way, haychee

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:57:51

Fair enough, disagree. It makes no nevermind to me if you agree with my parenting choices.

This thread however was about the enforced removal of those choices in inappropriate circumstances.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:57:46

the spelling is not the issue! I am typing very fast so i can answer all the comments i want to.
Im deeply apologetic if my fast typing is enough to warrant your cutting remarks!

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:57:43

Haychee - but some people don't decide what their children should be told on the basis of Sky TV's news agenda. Some neighbourhoods aren't awash with yellow ribbons. Some people don't have the news on in front of small children. You might think they're stupid but not all four year olds will know about Madeleine McCann. Not all seven year olds come to that.

oh haychee open you fucking mind will you.

some kids on here are dealing with their own personal nightmares.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:56:04

Exactly NKF.

Haychee for your information I was 'playing nice' till you became very insulting. Not hugely mature of me to retaliate, but to coin a phrase, frankly my dear, I dont give a damn.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:55:06

its been 60 days! I think there is enough of a timescale there to be able to sit down with your kids and explain it. Its those who chose not to let their kids see or hear anything that i disagree with.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:53:36

Be fair Haychee. Not everyone has said that. And you got in a fair few punches about people living in a bubble and being too stupid to find the language to speak to their kids about the news.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:53:30

haychee has been quite animated in her opinion, I don't see anyone reporting her posts to get them deleted. She's just not getting everyone nodding their heads in sudden, enlightened agreement.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:53:22

PMSL and calling us Knob (correctly spelt NOB), Idiots, PRats isnt?? [ironic emocion]


Nightynight Tue 03-Jul-07 21:53:17

haychee, dont get wound up by this thread, and some of the mocking responses.
I also told my children when the whole thing was on the news. Other parents didnt. It is quite possible that a child could be scared by the advert in the cinema whether they had been previously told or not.

tiredemma Tue 03-Jul-07 21:52:46

yes- I did a link- go to 'in the news'!!!!

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:52:15

I don't understand. Who is taking her opinion away? I doubt that anyone has changed their mind as a result of the debate.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:52:02

She can have her opinion. I just dont agree with it.

CountTo10 Tue 03-Jul-07 21:51:53

Have you guys seen Sky news?? Tired emma's done a link - seems like you guys have struck a chord!

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:51:49

I wanted to come here for a debate/discussion but i have been attacked and told my kids will need therapy in the future. This type of comment is not what i call discussing its just downright rude.

please let her have her very valid opinion

i agree wholeheartedly with her and my kids are sane and sound

live and let live mumsnetters PLEASE

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:49:40


We don't want it sprung on us in 7 foot high style taking all choice away in a potentially frightening and inescapable way. That's the point of the complaint.

What you appear to be saying is 'If you don't tell your kids about it, I think the cinema is perfectly right to make bloody sure you DO'

(no, actually, they haven't seen any of the Shrek films at all, they got bored halfway through watching the first one)

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:49:12

didnt realise that was you littlelapin <waves>

How many more posts till this thread dies??

Haychee.. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday your dc will need therapy.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:48:37

Was that me you were asking the question of?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:47:59

A time that you choose? When will that be? Its been a long time already and you have risked all this time that your child may already know someting about madeleine and possibly made up the rest.
Maybe your waiting for the happy ending first?

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:47:27

Haychee - but how does that work? I asked this before. When do you decide that a story will reach their ears? Not all terrible stories will. So how do you make a decision that story A needs to be explained and not story B. I'm genuinely interested and not trying to have a dig.

littlelapin Tue 03-Jul-07 21:46:32

<shrugs off BubbleMerchant disguise>

haychee sweetie - I don't see you having ANY problem expressing your opionion.

It's just that most of us think it's crap <shrugs>.

Welcome to Mumsnet - sadly, unquestioning agreement does NOT come with the territory.

I am obviously very stupid as my DD has terrible nightmares about bees. I must pop down to the local honey farm to brush up my bee keeping knowledge and have a little chat with her, then maybe she won't have them in the future. Clearly my degree in psychology was a complete waste of time and I am completely unintelligent

However, I do respect other people's decisions about what they do and don't tell their children and believe that they do so taking into account their children's personalities. I expect other people to extend me the same respect and understand that I understand my children better than they do and know what information they can and can't cope with. So I expect other people to be intelligent enough to understand why I have a problem with the advert being shown before a U certificate film. Not too much to ask is it ?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:45:21

Of course others are entitled to do whatever they feel is right! My point is that they will find out! Maybe not today or tomorrow but you never know what they are going to pick up on! Id prefer that they found out from me rather than a third party.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:43:54

Haychee - you are entitled to an opinion. Of course you are. What you are not entitled to is everyone's agreement.

As I understand it, you think the ad should be shown because it's important that people (childrne?) know about certain dangers. Other people say (I'm paraphrasing) yes that's true but I'll tell them at a time of my own choosing. And that's not a few minutes before Shrek. To which you say the ad should be everywhere. And naturally enough, people who don't want to see it before Shrek, don't agree with that either.

DaisyMOO Tue 03-Jul-07 21:42:45

How is anyone preventing you from expressing an opinion? Nobody's come round to your house and disables your mouse (although I'd quite like to disable your apostrophe key!!!!) We're just disagreeing with you. It's called debate.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:42:43

Have you told you DD about Jamie Bulger??

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:41:58

No, come back, I need to tell who took him! A very bad man...guess what he was going to do with him? Can you guess?

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:41:53

WOW, more confident around strangers. That must be a great achievement. Personally I am proud my ds doesnt talk to strangers. BTW the offender is usually somebody they know. Ds knows not to go with anyone (including friends and family) unless mummy says it is ok to him, even if that person says its ok.

Surely if you are so reasoned and level with you dd you have to agree it is up to the parent to guage how much they tell their child as only a parent really knows what they child will be able to manage. And if you agree with that, can you not see the advert took that parental choice away?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:40:48

I came to this discussion room today to air my view that i disagreed with the removal of the ad. I have since reicieved nothing but sarcastic comments by the users here! What do you expect me to do? Sit back and let people slaughter me and MY opinion? Well i will not! I am entitled to an opinion as you say, but you are not allowing me to say it!

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:39:47

haychee, the BubbleMerchant has wise words.

I am just completely stumped by your inability to see that others have the right to make different choices about what their children see and hear.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:39:34

And how old are you dearie? Four? Come over here and I'll tell you about a little boy who went to the fair one day...and never came back!

DaisyMOO Tue 03-Jul-07 21:38:48

Well mine go to school and preschool and they haven't heard about it, presumably because other parents feel the same way - that there is no need for children to hear about this little girl being taken when they are not emotionally mature enough to handle it. Stranger danger is taught at school and by me at home but I don't think giving them specific examples of cases where children have been absucted is going to help, and may frighten them. Let's face it, if the story of Madeleine McCann doesn't frighten them, what's the point of telling them? They're hardly going to change their behaviour unless it scares them.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:36:57


The madeleine case has helped with my daughters confidence around strangers actually! Thats exactly why i agree with the showing of the ad!
No she has never suffered with nightmares! Because i am intelligent enough to be able to talk to my children at a level that will not frighten them to that degree! It is a very fine balance that has to be struck. 1 that they are aware of the danger and 2 that they are not scared to such a degree that there are scared beyond belief!

BubbleMerchant Tue 03-Jul-07 21:35:53

haychee, you get upset if anyone makes a comment about you, but you have the nerve to be sarcastic to SueBaroo ABOUT WHOM YOU KNOW NOTHING.

For your information - and this is not about SueBaroo - there are many posters on here with children with disabilities, special needs, requirements outside the "standard". You might consider THAT before you start making sarcastic comments about people's choices.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:35:06

Haychee, you obviously dont have the mental ability to respond to my post. Ignoramus (or should that be ignoranus)

Ho Hum, typical troll behaviour.

On a professional note, shall I book a place for your dd for therapy in about 10 years time? Sounds like she will need it.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:33:39

Sidles up, opens coat...'wanna see some child molesters?'

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:32:26

I seriously object to your messages! I do not read my kids bedtime stories that will scre them. I am a caring loving parent. My kids are happy and content and well educated!

Of course you homeschool - your poor kids!! Of course your life educarion is far superior than any education system available! I can clearly see that! You are wiser than any teacher or any school playground! Im suprised you even let them watch shrek! They might see a poster od madeleine on the way there - what will you say? its ok darling, its just fairytale?

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:28:28

Haychee - your dd speaks to strangers still according to your earlier post so this over education in the mean nasty ways of the world really isnt helping is it? Does she have nightmares too?

Ds isnt told all the mean nasty things that go on and hey, guess what? He doesnt talk to strangers and he doesnt have nightmares. Go figure.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:25:40

awen, absolutely - it is such a short time nowadays, I good with keeping it that for as long as reasonably possible.

BubbleMerchant Tue 03-Jul-07 21:25:02

<points out to haychee that all children are NOT the same>

Look after your own, we will look after ours, thank you.

<blows really massive fucking bubble>

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:24:29

Loverlee little story here, kiddies, all about a nasty murder...come and see!

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:24:15

SueBaroo - If the newds comes on the radio my ds turns it down as he doesnt like to hear about bad people as he finds it frightening. His father (my ex) wont turn radio down and it really upsets ds. Also ds still believes in father christams, fairies, magic etc etc. I know he wont forever, nor should he, but for now he is in that wonderful magical stage of childhood.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:24:10

haychee, I homeschool.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:23:31

*wonders what a 'gross indecent knob' is

pictures an elaborately carved door handle*

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:23:26

Will/do your children go to a playgroup or school, where you do not go?

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:21:30

Feck off please. I have remained polite but I resent being labelled a prat or indecent nob thank you very much. Also your grammer really let you down there .

I resent that you seem to infer how much detail other parent should tell their children. Is personal choice, that advert took that choice away. End of.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:20:26

Got some lovely pictures of a man on fire here, children...wanna see?

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 21:19:37

Still rumbling on I see. Wells I pictured very similar, and we are all crazy?

Right, when ds saw MMC pic flash up on tv and asked about her I said she is lost and her parents are looking for her. THat was enough at the time, thanks to the advert at the cinema (shown before fantastic four) he asked what it meant, I said it meant a bad person took her. I also reassured him that this really didnt happen very often which is why it was on the cinema screen.

I still think it was wrong to show before U or even PG as I think the parents should judge how much or little to tell their children.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:19:25

I feel sick! You gross indecent knob! Im a caring parent just like you and you are slandering me! I DO NOT RAM ANYTHING DOWN MY KIDS THROATS!!!!!!!! IM TRULY SICKENED BY THE WAY YOU ARE TWISTING MY OPINOION! or, sorry am i not allowed an opinion? Do i have to check in with pratts like you before i decide to tell or not to tell my kids about anything!

All i want is you all to realise that kids will find out if you choose not to tell them, i want you to consider the possibility that they may hear elsewhere and will not have a reassuring parent nearby.

BubbleMerchant Tue 03-Jul-07 21:19:02

Yooo hooo! <waves>

Only 175 posts to go, ladies!

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:18:38

Haychee beckons to three year old in the park...'psst...wanna see some pictures of a little girl who got snatched from her bed...? That could happen to you, that could.'

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:18:18

whoops, double post. And a small fib - it's closer to two hours of cbeebies...

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:18:12

Haychee - there's a wide spectrum of parental behaviour between "ramming the news down children's throats" and "wrapping them in cotton wool." Some people take a different approach to news management than you. They make a judgement that is dependent on their children's personalities, ages and the environment they live in. Some 10 year olds know lots about the scary side of the world, have lived it. Others still believe in Father Christmas. My understanding of the Shrek/advert debate is that people felt they were forced to have the discussion at a time and a place not of their choosing.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:17:08

Bubble merchant? I rather like that...

Sorry, haychee, but it is perfectly possible to shield your children from whatever you deem fit. Mine don't watch the news, or read newspapers, so unless the hour of cbeebies they watch is going to have intermittent ads for MMC, it's just not going to happen.

I'm not going to tell my children about something scary that has nothing to do with them just on the remote chance they might hear a snippet of it from somewhere else.

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:17:01

Bubble merchant? I rather like that...

Sorry, haychee, but it is perfectly possible to shield your children from whatever you deem fit. Mine don't watch the news, or read newspapers, so unless the hour of cbeebies they watch is going to have intermittent ads for MMC, it's just not going to happen.

I'm not going to tell my children about something scary that has nothing to do with them just on the remote chance they might hear a snippet of it from somewhere else.

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 21:14:27

haychee, you are giving me some great laughs today.

"Your all just ridiculous! None of you have agreed that its better to hear something like this from a parent rather than on the tv or in the playground. Its just laughable that you think your kids wont find out! Good luck when they do!"

How about - it's better to hear it from a parent than from the cinema?


haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 21:12:25

Bubble merchants!
Your all just ridiculous! None of you have agreed that its better to hear something like this from a parent rather than on the tv or in the playground. Its just laughable that you think your kids wont find out! Good luck when they do! No wonder your scared to approach it by yourself!
I told my kids when it first happened and im gald i did - i have no regrets not one! My kids are happy and content and do not worry about anything they are very confident children. I DO NOT ram it down their throats that they are going to be killed or raped or abused in anyway as you are implying!

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 21:12:20

pmsl @ 'Don't forget to scream!'

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:11:47

And tomorrow we'll have Hansel and Gretel. Remember, much worse things happen in real life.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:09:36

A is for Abduction - that could happen to you in your bed tonight, that could! Remember to scream!
B is for Burglar - one could creep in through your window. Remember to scream!
C is for cosh - sometimes burglars have coshes and they use them to hit people when they creep in your bedroom at night. Remember to scream!

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 21:06:16

lol NKF

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 21:04:24

Maybe she does it alphabetically. "Here's D. Darfur. Pictures of Princess Diana dead in the car. Dangerous dogs.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 21:01:41

I keep imagining Haychee, sitting down with her kids at bedtime with a stack of newspapers, saying 'right this is the little girl who was snatched from her bed, and this little girl was raped and murdered by her uncle and she was only two! And look, some suicide bombers on fire! They were trying to kill people going on holiday. Sometimes they blow up aeroplanes while you are still on them.'
Because anything else wouldn't be truthful, it would be wrapping them up in cotton wool.
Does anyone remember a lot of gruesome news stories from their childhood? I think little children don't really pay a lot of attention to this sort of stuff unless it is rammed down their throats by adults.

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 21:00:54

oh enid -its simpsons day
go back to your smug tone....please

ELF1981 Tue 03-Jul-07 21:00:32

You know what, I'm off to watch CSI.

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 20:58:42

well use your regular name then


SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 20:58:19

I'm baffled by this insistence that my children WILL find out about MMC from somewhere.

No, they won't. damn right I keep them in a protective bubble. There's time enough for anxieties when they're older ta very much.

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 20:57:18

oh i see - very odd - yes you do know me

Sorry Selma do I know you ??

I thought not, I will not justify myself to you. As a fellow Catholic, I pray daily for the MacCanns, my 6 yr old does not need to worry about it.

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 20:56:29

Glad to hear it Enid

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:55:18

How does the ad help find her? Anyone who has seen it please let me know what it says. I'm assuming a recap of the main story and then some details of the campaign and where to download posters and make a donation.

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 20:54:57

too kind you do yourself proud

hit a nerve enid?

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 20:54:03

thankyou madame

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 20:53:46

ill tell my kids how and when i want to tell them thank you. and my children will never be at your house for their bedtime story thank the lord!

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:53:45

But is isn't helping selma. read the rest of the thread. showing the ad before shrek reaches the parents (who are already painfully aware) and the children (who may be aware, may not be aware, but are not going to find her as they are children!)

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 20:52:42

[reluctantly rejoins to say - angeliz sorry it wasnt aimed at you!]

oh and fuck off hansmoleman

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 20:52:12

bree - to help a little girl or her family in ANY way???

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:52:06

What childhood memories would you like your dc to have haychee?

option 1 - mummy loved us very much. she made sure we knew about all the bad things in the world that could hurt us. the bad things never happened, but we were prepared, anxious and waiting just in case.

option 2 - mummy loved us very much. she shielded us from a lot of bad things in the world. she only told us about something bad if it could directly affect us. we had a lovely carefree childhood.

Option 2 for me all the way please!!

Bartholomewgook Tue 03-Jul-07 20:52:05

YOu want it shown everywhere haychee? Oh go on then, let's just whack it in every ad break on Nick Jnr - really get maximum impact.



All those in favour of keeping their child in a bubble and not teach / tell them about the dangers in the world, are crazy!

Unsure where you live, I live in the sticks. Lovely little community, children have IMO idyllic lives. Why would I sully that, before I have to ??

MascaraOHara Tue 03-Jul-07 20:48:37

Oh plase can someone draw a line? I almost 4'd it. Although this might actually motivate me to go do some work.

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 20:48:17

Lol at train from nutter central

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:47:53

Sometimes could be a long time off though. And there are many things that they will hear about before i tell them. I can't control all the information that comes their way. I can be available to asnwer all questiosn and I can anticipate threats that might come their way and so prepare them. But I can't assume that they will always hear bad news from me first.

DaisyMOO Tue 03-Jul-07 20:47:46

Only halfway through but A Level English? <snigger>

[bangs head agasinst wall]]

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 20:47:31

Oh, we're Crazy? I think not.

def a train from nutter central missing some passengers.

DaisyMOO Tue 03-Jul-07 20:47:00

NKF your post of 19:46:24 made me snort and laugh so much that I nearly choked on my own snot

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:46:36

Now I really have heard it all - my dc are wimps and wooses (sp?) because they may be upset about MMC.
I did not realise we were supposed to raise a generation of cold-hearted, hard as nails children.

Slaps forehead, doh! Got it wrong again!

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 20:46:28

Oh for god's sake, loads of people who have posted on here have told their children but for the millionth time they want to choose how and why they tell them. My children saw a poster, so I explained, but they are older than most on here. I would not have wanted them to be told in that context.

ELF1981 Tue 03-Jul-07 20:46:27

haychee, there is a difference between teaching stranger danger, and explaining what happened in the McCann case

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 20:45:56

It just seems so ironic to me that we are the ones supposedly wrapping our kids up in cotton wool by allowing them to be children and innocent.
By telling your kids every bad scenario that may ever happen to them to arm them into little soldiers against evil, isn't that a bit obsessive and over protective?

Is anyone seeing the irony yet?

ELF1981 Tue 03-Jul-07 20:45:17

Bree - I dont read the sun often, but had a look as it was noted earlier on in the thread. Had to sign up to post because I was that mad with them!

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:44:29

Im being attacked!

All i want you to admit is that kids will hear about madeleine somewhere sometime. All those in favour of telling your child (at whatever level you feel appropriate) before they see or hear it from a third party please speak up!

All those in favour of keeping their child in a bubble and not teach / tell them about the dangers in the world, are crazy!

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:43:49

LOL Bree;

Right, at 20.45 hours we will assemble posters from troll camps 14 - 24. Enter MN and go get 'em!!

20.50 - troll camps 25 - 30. Be ready, take no prisoners!!

Ah Elf............the Sun that explains a lot.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:42:03

You know. Nobody really knows what happened in Portugal. Even telling a child that a stranger came and took her may not be the truth.

selmaBouvier Tue 03-Jul-07 20:41:16




lets draw a line under this argument

Does this smack of an organised campaign to tell Mners how selfish we are ? Anyone else or just me feeling

Since bedtime we have been over run with people who disagree with us.

Reckon there is another site somewhere rallying the troops.

ELF1981 Tue 03-Jul-07 20:40:53

Okay, can I just say the following

Madeline McCann did not wander off from a stranger, she did not get into somebodies car by herself, nor was she led away with the lure of sweeties etc. She was taken from her bed, in the night, when there were no adults around to stop it happening. If she was told about stranger danger, would it have done her any good? No. She was taken from her bed while she was asleep, and even if she had tried to fight, there wasn't anybody there who could help her (thats to say she wasn't drugged etc).

I will tell my child when she is older about stranger danger but I do not want to tell her that children can be taken from their beds, their baths etc. I dont want her knowing what a sad world we live in. I will also do my best to shield her from reports about bombs, suicide bombers etc - I want her to have a chlidhood, not start a long road of anxiety at a young age.

If I did chose to tell my daughter about Madeline (shes not old enough, but imagine she is) then it would be MY choice. My choice, my language, my decision. Not an advert at the cinema.

Nobody is objecting to the advert. Just that it is shown at a U film.

I have posted much the same on the Sun website for all the gobshites who went off on one without even bothering to read this thread.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:39:46

Haychee - what do you do? Decide that once a story reaches a certain level of exposure you'll tell the children about it? I'm assuming you don't search out unreported acts of cruelty to tell them.

edam Tue 03-Jul-07 20:39:12

Haychee, you orginally said: 'Those parents who object do not have the intelligence to be able to discuss the topic with their children and do not know the correct language skills and way to go about reassuring their own children that they are infact safe in their beds.'

So in your opinion, anyone who dislikes the ad is stupid and can't talk properly... that's why I pulled you up on your grammatical/spelling errors.

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:38:19

right haychee, but the ad in the cinema did not explain that the mccanns left their children alone.
ds knows we would never leave him. therefore a stranger should not be able to get into his room. therefore he need not worry about this. therefore will not mention MMC to him, as it has no bearing on him or his life. stranger danger yes, MMC no.

Haychee, I absolutely would not want my child's face plastered everywhere if they had been snatched.

I would want it plastered in places where I felt it would have maximum impact and would not feel that before a U cert film would be one of those places.

I would not want nursery schools/playschools to be displaying posters.

I would not want other children to be scared about sleeping as I've heard some children round here are.

MascaraOHara Tue 03-Jul-07 20:37:21

srry my post was aimed at Alia2007

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:37:18

Well, a little girl was taken from her bath while her mother was right in the house with her. Best tell them that too. And if you don't want to tell your kids maybe Haychee can come round and put them right.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:35:47

Is this site now nutter central or something?

MascaraOHara Tue 03-Jul-07 20:35:35

blimey. I think that was a little unnecesary.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:35:11

But that scary man doesnt come into your room because mummy and/or daddy are always there not down the road having a meal! You have to put them right!

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 20:35:02

"Best to come from us parents"

Well, quite. Isn't that what all this is about?

Or are you saying that if it doesn't come from tha parents then it should come from elsewhere?

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:34:56

haychee, no, why tell them? My ds knows about stranger danger. But what good does it do for him to know a stranger could come into his bed and take him. How can he possibly defend himself agains that? What good does it do for him to worry about that?

It is all about moderation.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:34:23

So have you told your daughter that a family member might come into bed with her and rape and kill her? That story's all over the newspapers today. She might see it.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:33:35

There is this assumption that widespread and essentially random publicity is the key to the safe recovery of the little girl. It's odd that no-one ahs ever quesioned whether that's the case. That someone dozing off in front of Shrek one rainy afternoon in Chester-le-Street might be given a piece of information that sticks in her mind and when she's next on holiday buying a beer in Lisbon etc, she might notice etc....

Alia2007 Tue 03-Jul-07 20:33:20

Message deleted

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:33:11

Actually, I don't think that my kids need to be scared silly in order to keep Madeleine's profile high.

Quattrocento Tue 03-Jul-07 20:33:07

The ChildSnatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang gave both my children nightmares and they fully understand the distinction between fact and fiction. For the childsnatcher to cross over into fact, that would really scare them. For sure.

<intergalactic walrus I just loved those rolling trolling jokes. Loved them.>

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:32:57


Yes tell them 3 weeks ago! Before it came on the screen at the cinema! My point is that i dont agree with those parents who think they can protect their kids from this kind of information! They will hear about it somewhere from someone! Best to come from us parents asap!

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:31:38

Damn, I meant - why do you think a 'puff of smoke' is 'more' scary'.
I can't think of anything more terrifying than being told about a man who comes into your room in the middle of the night and steals children forever.

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:31:37

soupdragon - lovely candles!!

even if i had discussed it with them, (which i havent in great detail, just answered wuestionms about yellow ribbons) the ad would have scared them shitless.

HansMoleman Tue 03-Jul-07 20:30:11

its not about anything but keeping her profile high
there but for the grace of god go you lot

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:30:09

It may surprise you that actually very many little children have no idea about this - and long may that remain the case. They can't help, it doesn't help them, and I think people who want to ram this pointlessly distressing and scary 'information' down their throats are a bit sick.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:30:09

A puff of smoke is not less scary and this is my point! Kids will fill in the gaps or try to make sense of something they have misunderstood! That is exactly what i mean - if they are not told about madeleine, they will hear about it at some point (unavoidable and true) and if they dont understand they will imagine all kinds of super scary scenarios! Why not just get it out and discuss it (at a level which is suitable) before they find out elsewhere?

hippipotami Tue 03-Jul-07 20:30:03

congratulations haychee (why do I get the urge to say 'bless you'?), you have just seen our point. By saying : *'I prefer they hear it from me and not a third party or the local cinema'* you are finally seeing our point of view.

It is our choice what/how much/where we tell our children about MMC. Not the cinema. That is what this thread is about. Nothing more, nothing less!

Welcome to our side of the fence

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 20:29:51

Much as i agree with everything the MacCanns are doing mind, i think Madeliene SHOULD be in the public eye and not forgotten. (Mind you i best not say that too much or Enid will accuse me of competitive grief again!)

are you actually listening?

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:28:27

It's all about you, you, you isn't it? Queen of the world!

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 20:28:08

Just put ds to bed and read all this.
I was really annoyed at your tone at first haychee about 'overprotective foolish parents not having the correct language skills to answer questions about Madeleine'. The more i think about it though it's really strange how you go on about how evil the world is and how many sick f* are out there and how our children need to defend themsleves against evil, evil, evil.

The strange thing is, the more i analyise it (and beleive me i don't want to but it's niggling me) the more i realise that, although i may be the overprotective one, i think the world is bloody lovely and i want my kids to grow up knowing this.
I want them to know that life is beautiful and that their childhood is magical and they should grasp every opppurtunity to have fun and be happy.
Obviously, as i have said, i have spoken about stranger danger and keeping safe but i still stick to the fact that my children do not need to know about a little girl being abducted from her bed.

If God forbid anything like that ever did happen, as someone said a wee bit earlier, what would the child be thinking? I'm so glad my Mam warned me?

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:27:41

Haychee - why do you want it shown everywhere? Who benefits from it?

SoupDragon Tue 03-Jul-07 20:27:22
haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:26:07

I do not think that anyone who disagrees with me is thick! But i do think that parents who are pushing to have this ad removed from the cinemas are wrong in doing so! I want it shown everywhere! It is then up to you parents to talk to your kids and face up to reality! They are going to find out! They are not stupid their eyes and ears are everywhere, you cannot choose who will talk to your child or what they will say! I prefer they hear it from me not a third party or the local cinema!
Surely you would want your kids face plastered everywhere if they had been abducted??? Even if it meant another child would be upset by seeing it or hearing about it?!

HansMoleman Tue 03-Jul-07 20:24:14

Smugness presides eh Enid?

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 20:24:14

I have no idea why you think that imagining a "puff of smoke" would be less scary that an intruder who steals children while they sleep in their beds.
You say 'they cannot be hidden from the truth! They will find out!' - so I assume you've already told your daughter that sometimes uncles get into beds with little girls of two and rape and strangle them?
if not, then I expect it's because you don't think it is useful, relevant or helpful information and might scare her.

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 20:23:22

You're welcome edam

the problem is haychee, or how ever you soell it, is that i dont want to tell my children about madeleine. by showing it to a cinema of preschoolers it has taken the choice out of parents hands. the ad usues the word snatched which would, quite frankly, terrify some children.

the McCanns have choosen to shield their own twins from madeleine being abducted as much as possible, surely we, as parents, should also have that choice.

i have choosen not to tell my own chidlren the truth about their dads illness, and how serious it is, and do also gesture wildly at people who want to discuss it in detail to not do it in front of them, as i dont want them scared.

SoupDragon Tue 03-Jul-07 20:21:42
SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 20:20:53

I hide plenty from my dc. Right now, they don't need to know more than 'bad things do happen'.

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 20:19:00

god is this still grumbling on

the ad is gone from Odeon and cineworld [gives herself and assorted mumsnetters large pat on back]


edam Tue 03-Jul-07 20:17:41

Sigh.. haychee, I mentioned literacy because you called anyone who disagrees with you thick while making several errors in your post. Bit daft, really.

(Tamum, thanks for your vote of confidence.)

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 20:16:48

I don't hide things as such. I operate ore on need to know basis. If they ask, I answer. There is some information I don't volunteer. And the details, such as they are, of this case is an example of that.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:10:29

I dont hide anything much at all from my kids. it is my opinion that they will be better equipped to deal with life with all the education that i can give them. I dont go out of my way to horrify them or scare them im just honest and open. I discuss money issues, smoking, pregnancy anything! I dont go into details that would scare them i just talk alot to them about everything. That way i feel that they know to come to me if they dont understand something or are worried about something, and so far this has always worked well. I think kids should know that life is difficult and that sometimes bad things happen that we cant stop, for example old people die! Pets die and kids go missing! I do not give the details of the suffering and torment that grandad went through before he died nor do i feel the need to scare them half to death about what kind of sicko may have madeleine and what he may be doing to her. Its just openess not lying to them or not telling them stuff that they will find out eventually.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 20:09:14

The ad isn't aimed at children. It's aimed at the parents. I'm sure nobody is seriously arguing that it's a public information broadcast.

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 20:05:34

I agree. But I think we need to temper it for them. And this doesn't give some parents the chance to do that.

An ad with different wording perhaps.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 20:02:23

it was very dissappointing! (the film)
Still feel that having told young children yourself is better than hearing it elsewhere where misunderstandings can be made. I still feel the incident/dissappearance topic is unavoidable and kids will find out at some point.

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:59:41

And I hear that the film is actually pretty disappointing

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:59:00

I think my son is very likely to dwell on it actually.

The most surprising things stick in a child's mind.

My problem is not with the ad per se. The language, and the wisdom of showing to young children, is what concerns me.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:56:11

Do you really think a child will dwell on 4 words, that are said before one of the best films in the year? No, i think they will remember the film, the cat and the donkey! If they are worried then you must make yourself open for the discussion if it needs to be said. If you had of got in there first (as im assuming some parents havnt even dared tell their kids about madeleine at all!) as i did, there there will not be any issues to worry about as they already knew from us! As i saud its our job to put them right not the local cinema! Still dont see them problem, sorry!

MrMaloryTowers Tue 03-Jul-07 19:55:11


i am so impressedc

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:51:52

My problem is the language. That's all. I don't want my child to dwell on being "snatched from his bed".

FioFio Tue 03-Jul-07 19:51:44

Message deleted

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:50:27

I thought it said she was "snatched from her bed". Which is rather different. Am I mistaken?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:49:17

The campaign shown in the cinema does not show any more than that! That she is missing and everyone is looking for her! What is the problem? I just dont get it! I just cant see why everyone is so appauled by seeing poor madeleines campaign prior to watching shrek?!

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:48:47

Ah. So my ds, who has no idea that she was removed from her bed, does not need to know the whole story then.

MrMaloryTowers Tue 03-Jul-07 19:48:35

never mind all this guff
how the fark ddi someone post that huge opicture on herre??

ive bnnever seen a pic on mn before

only alink


meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:47:43

Have you moved on in your argument then, from saying that this advert should be screened, to saying that all parents should discuss the case with their children?

Because those are two very different points.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 19:46:24

I can understand preferring to tell the truth than allowing them to believe in monsters under the bed. I'm sorry, I didn't read the whole thread. I didn't realise that your children thought something otherworldly had happened.

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:45:56

But how much do they need to know? My ds, who is 5, knows that she went missing on holiday, and that people are looking very hard for her. Does he need to know more than that? What would be the benefit to anyone if he did?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:43:44

The lesson they can learn from it is that it was not a monster from under the bed that ate her up! Nor did she disappear in a puff of smoke! I would not like my kids to make up their own scenario in their heads as to what happened to madeleine, i prefer that they get the facts from me first. Then if they do hear anything else they are able to talk to me about it.

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 03-Jul-07 19:42:39

I'm interested to know why you think special reference should be made to this case. In terms of educating children to keep them safe, I think it has little relevance. I'm not sure how I could prepare my children for the possibility that someone may come and remove them from their beds at night, even if I wanted to do so. Particularly as no-one knows the circumstances of her removal.

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 19:41:09

I don't know the age of your children but I don't think you can make an effective how to stay safe lesson out of the incident in Portugal. There are no precautions a child can take, no life skills they need to develop to prepare them to face such an experience. The advert was for the parents and I imagine that it was in order to raise funds.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:38:27

A stranger cam into madeleines room! There lies the danger!

winnie Tue 03-Jul-07 19:37:47

I've only just seen this thread and fwiw when I took ds to see Shrek on Saturday night I was also cross about this advert being shown. I am glad I am not alone.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:37:04

Nor do i fill their heads with horror stories! Tact again! Yes a beautiful little girl is missing, she is lost, noone knows where she is or who has her! That is all they need to know! I do not say, that if you talk to a stranger then that neans they will come and snatch you from your bed when your sleeping and rape you and then kill you - honestly would anyone say such stuff!
My point is purely, that they cannot be hidden from the truth! They will find out! There is danger in the world and they need to be aware of that and that is all!
I hope the madeleine campaign will go everywhere and all kids are taught by the campaign!

NKF Tue 03-Jul-07 19:34:57

But Haychee - the stranger danger talk is of no relevance to the Madeleine McCanan incident. There is no lesson that a child can learn from it.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:32:08

i do not constantly tell my kids the world is full of bad people! You fool! Nor are they at all frightened by what i have told them. I told them because i knew they would hear about it, either form over hearing my conversation or by watching the news or by hearing it from others at school! As it turns out, they campaign is now at the cinema and being forced upon us so i am glad i had already told them! I cant beleive it has been so long since she was snatched and all of you have not told your kids! I wonder if they do know anything that you dont realise they know?!
Also, it is purely my daughters outgoing character that makes her want to talk to people, my point is that the constant reminder of the danger is a useful resource for me to use when trying (without scaring) to teach her!
Tact, is the way forward! I for one do not have a problem in the slightest that the campaign is shown everywhere! It is up to us as parents to teach our kids not the cinema! Get in there first before someone else tells them!
Surely you agree that a childs imagination will fill the gaps or misunderstandings that they may have about something? Tell it to them straight (without scaring them) before the imagination kicks in!

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 19:23:37

true wells.

When I was 5 an old man asked me to go to his car as his wife wanted a closer look at my beautiful hair. My sister was in the shop (9 years) but I said that my mummy was in the shop and she was looking out of the window. THe man got really cross and said I was a rude and horrible child. I didnt tell my mum straight away as my sister said I shouldnt. By the time i told her the man was long gone.

THe point is my mum didnt fill my head with horror stories but did the stranger danger thing with me and it worked.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 19:21:23

Why the hell does any child NEED to know that one kid was snatched from her bed miles away? They don't.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 19:20:23

But this has NOTHING to do with talking to strangers or wandering off! Knowing that a little girl was snatched from her bed will not help your child or my children in any way. They can't defend themselves against that - that's OUR job. All it can possibly do is make them frightened of something that won't happen and against which they have defence. I think you are mad.
And I feel sorry for any child who is constantly told the world is full of bad people.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 19:17:58

Haychee, my ds aged 7 doesnt talk to stranger and was offered a strawberry by a the security guard in the out of hours doctors waiting room. He said no as he knows he is not to accept food treats from strangers. I said then it was ok and he had one.

My point is that obviously your way of handling it isnt working if your child speaks to strangers despite you filling her head with the nightmarish truth/reality of a hwat a minority of the scum of society can do.

I have not exposed ds to this detail and he understands not to speak to strangers.

FioFio Tue 03-Jul-07 19:17:21

Message deleted

SoupDragon Tue 03-Jul-07 19:16:25

What she doesn't need is for that information to be shoved in her face unexpectedly when she's gone to see a children's film!

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:16:03

"at a level that they can emotionally handle - as you see fit"

Yes, that's the whole point of what we have all been saying all along. As we see fit, not as Cineworld sees fit. Sigh.

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 19:15:56

"So just get on with it and face up to it - at a level that they can emotionally handle - as you see fit."

Well, we'd like to, but they've seen this advert about a child being snatched, you see, which they couldn't emotionally handle...

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:15:04

My daughter is now 6 and dispite my efforts at raising her awareness of the dangers of strangers she still will talk to strangers! I am constantly trying to teach her, to make her aware that bad things do happen! Of course im not going to tell her what a rapist might do, or how she might be murdered, but it does not harm her to know that any one of those strangers may be not as innocent as she would like to think they are! She needs to know this kind of information, she needs to know that it happens!

SoupDragon Tue 03-Jul-07 19:13:22

"Some sensitivity to your own particular child is required" And displaying it on a screen several feet high is so sensitive to the needs of particular children isn't it?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:10:00

The decision was not taken out of my hands. My kids already knew. Of course some kids are upset far more easily than others. Some sensitivity to your own particular child is required! Im not telling anyone how to raise thier kids im simply trying to show you that that kids cannot be hidden from everything and anything that you choose. They will find out at some point and then what will you all do? Will the world end at that point? no you will deal with it! So just get on with it and face up to it - at a level that they can emotionally handle - as you see fit. I do not agree with this idea that they will never know - of course they will!

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 19:09:10

Goodnight darling, sleep well!

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 19:08:42

They will have it all twisted up in thier heads and will imagine all kinds of scenarios as kids do! That is exactly why we need to put them right! put them right by saying a little girl, about your age, was sleeping peacefully in her bed with her brother and sister and someone came into the room and took her away, and nobody knows where she has gone, but it is possible that she might have been murdered or maybe she has been taken by a paedophile ring to be raped for the internet. That should do it.

KerryMum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:07:25
KerryMum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:05:49

Fuck if I know.....

bloody hell how did u get a picture on there?

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 19:04:44

HOW have you managed THAT!!! <awed respect>

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:04:37

Blimey, I didn't know you could do that! Well done KM

KerryMum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:03:48

Oh hell....

KerryMum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:03:14
MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 19:02:23

Haychee, does that mean you need to tell your child about the 2 year olds uncle who brutally raped and strangled her??

Sorry but you point is completely ridiculous imo.

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 19:02:10

Do not come on here and tell us how to raise our children, haychee.

When a 4 year old catches Madeleine McCann's kidnappers, we'll all agree with you, OK? Until then, we will do the same as Kate and Gerry McCann and protect our children as we see fit.

KrustyTheClown Tue 03-Jul-07 19:01:18

haychee you said

'Id prefer they heard it from me rather than all twisted up in the playground'

and there you have hit the nail on the head. Because by showing it before a film, without people knowing it was going to be on, the decision has been taken out of your hands.

Not even the McCanns told their younger children what had happened straight away.

No-one here is wrapping their children in cotton wool. Some children get very scared by stories like these because they are not EMOTIONALLY mature enough to handle a story about a lovely girl being snatched from her bed while she was sleeping.

Surely, even the most fuckwitted person could understand that.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 19:01:15

Of course we dont want to scare our children - thats why we have to be open and sensitive to them. They will have it all twisted up in thier heads and will imagine all kinds of scenarios as kids do! That is exactly why we need to put them right!

Tamum Tue 03-Jul-07 19:01:02

I think edam can claim to rather more than A level English actually.

i really want to come back with something but it would be just plain rude.

TroyMcClure Tue 03-Jul-07 18:56:20


haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 18:56:06

To edam
A level english language for me! so, what do you have? Why do you have to pick on a minor typing error as your only form of defence? That is not a discussion that is just picking fault in someone elses typing. Ridiculous!
Go back to wrapping on more cotton wool to your child so that they never ever find out anything bad exists in our world.
Good luck when the truth arises in the playground, when they learn that it was actually a monster hiding in the room that ate madeleine up, because that is what is going to happen if you dont tell them the truth yourself. But im sure that would suit you better as that would mean that it didnt come out of your mouth. Anyway your far too busy pickig fault in others typing to worry about any of that!

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 18:55:34

She needed being made aware of dangers that lurk all around us.

Except people who steal children from their beds are not 'all around us', are they? So is totally pointless to scare your children with it.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 18:53:50

So...I have to tell my children that little girls get snatched from their beds while they are asleep because YOU say so?

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 18:50:57

The good it does them is let them know you can talk to mummy and or daddy openly and honestly. It does not have to be forced down their throats just brief and at a level thay cqan comprehend. You dont have to go to a level where they are scared out of their brains its just being honest. As i saud earlier, my daughter feels at times that she is invincible and that no harm will ever come to her. She needed being made aware of dangers that lurk all around us. Each child of course is different and some degree of empathy is required. Be assurred though that those of you who feel it necessary to not tell them anything, you need to be aware that they will find out at some point. Id prefer they heard it from me rather than all twisted up in the playground. Kids you know have big imaginations and if they do not hear the truth from someone they trust (ie parents) they tend to make up scenarios to fill in the gaps that they didnt understand.
So my answer to the question what good does it do is that it clarifies their misunderstandings and reassures them that their parents cna talk to them openly.

edam Tue 03-Jul-07 18:49:26

LOL at Haychee calling us thick while being unable to punctuate properly.

Dear, if you are going to criticise other people's 'language skills' then do try to write your post correctly...

wannaBe Tue 03-Jul-07 18:46:25

no. they do not "need to know". they perhaps need to know about strangers, I was told to be careful of strangers when I was younger so that hasn't changed imo, but what is my 4 yo going to gain from knowing that children can be snatched from their beds while they're sleeping?

oh and, if one chooses to tell them is it acceptable to tell them everything? i.e. that the mccanns weren't actually there and that they were having dinner in a restaurant and had left the children on their own? or would that too be disrespectful? after all should we not tell them everything?

TroyMcClure Tue 03-Jul-07 18:42:35

what god does it do ot tlel them?
"Ooh kids keep your eyes open in your bedroom just in case"

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 18:41:54


howq very bloody dare you!!!!

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 18:39:55

Im writing in response to the most outragous and degrading comments written in respect of my opinions i wrote earlier today. As i said i whole heartedly agree with the advert being shown proir to the shrek film. It is up to us parents to then talk to our children in a manner that will not frighten them or scar them but to educate them about real life. My opinion is that children cannot be hidden from the dangers that exist in the world forever. I do not agree that parents are bundling their children up in cotton wool and deciding what information they are told regarding the madeleine case. Of course they should be told! What do those parents do if their children do happen to find out about it? pretend it isnt real? Parents need to be sensitive and truthful with their children and discuss topics such as this openly at a level which is suitable for their age and ability to understand. If they do not what a shock their children will have when they do realise the world is actually full of danger! Bad things do happen, bad people do exist, unfortunately for all of us we have to deal with it not shut it away as if it is not there.
I hope to god that those over protective parents have not stopped this advert being shown as not only does it educate our children but it also continues to provide the publicity that the McCanns need to get their daughter back.
My question to those foolish parents is, what would you want done if your child is missing? Keep it quiet for fear of upsetting another child? I think the answer would be no, you too would want as much help and support that could possibly be gained. I think that the worry here is that those parents who object do not have the intelligence to be able to discuss the topic with their children and do not know the correct language skills and way to go about reassuring their own children that they are infact safe in their beds.
There is of course always the option of keeping your children locked away so that they never have to come into contact with anything that may worry or upset them! Totally ludicrous!

ThePedantifier Tue 03-Jul-07 16:50:33

Madam, I tried. But my SuperDuperSpellChecker blew up and my ApostropheDisperser just started beeping and now won't turn on. I fear this is too severe a case even for me <strikes superhero pose>

Martha200 Tue 03-Jul-07 16:50:13

Someone I know said they run the ads too before films like Hostel II and other gory films.. that's just as inappropriate with the themes that come into those!

MrBocoBurns Tue 03-Jul-07 16:15:40

Where's The Pedantifier when you need her? Can you do some work on this thread please?

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 16:05:21

not really just humouring the trolls

TroyMcClure Tue 03-Jul-07 16:01:05

are you STIL talking baout htis?

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 15:56:27

She might be the new ConnieDescending

Ellbell Tue 03-Jul-07 15:56:12

Crikey...! I thought this thread had said all that there was to be said, but it has turned into a veritable Trollopolis in my absence!

Just reporting that I've had the following email from Cineworld (I suspect it's a standard response, since I never said I was upset, I just said I thought it was inappropriate, but anyway, as someone said before the cavalry arrived... 'result'!):

Dear Ellbell

Thank you for contacting Cineworld. Firstly, I would like to apologise that
you and your family found the Madeleine McCann advert distressing.

Cineworld, like most other companies would like to our bit and raise public
awareness in hope that this little girl will be reunited with her family. It
was not our intension to cause distress or upset. We adhere to BBFC
guidelines and will actively advertise trailers and ads that are suitable
for the films classification. In this case, the advert carried an
appropriate classification for Shrek 3.

In light of your complaint and for the reasons you feel it is inappropriate,
we have contacted our Advertisers and have withdrawn the ad from U, PG and
12A films. From next week, only 15 and 18 classified films will show this

I trust that this decision will meet with your approval. Please accept our
sincere apologises once again for any upset caused. Should you have any
further concerns, please contact me via your preferred medium duly noted

Kind regards

Cineworld Customer Services Manager

(With my grammar pedant head on, I'd like to add a big [sic] to that whole email )

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 15:55:23

oo, Furley took a clobber and said she'd be back - I like her style.

Furley Tue 03-Jul-07 15:48:42

My pleasure

I bid you farewell as I have to collect my little legs now - but....stay carm.....I may just be back....happy days

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 15:47:41

welcome welcome welcome all trolls are welcome (we just dont take you seriously thats all)

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 15:43:35

We love new joiners. ESPECIALLY when they join up just to have a go .

Furley Tue 03-Jul-07 15:41:24

I never knew this website was a cult - god forbid you may get new people joining in, are you finding this upsetting too!!!

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 15:39:53

you didn't answer the question though.

Furley Tue 03-Jul-07 15:38:21

Why are people so melodramatic!! "oh my child will never be the same again after such an advert" Take a deep breath and get a grip!!

sandcastles Tue 03-Jul-07 15:37:59

I guess we know that it made Sky news too then.....

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 15:36:49

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 15:36:19

(not you, Angeliz - slow typing )

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 15:35:41

Oh, and ANOTHER new joiner!

Here's an idea ladies. Before you start laying into us because of something you heard on Sky, have a browse through the site. Find the threads praying for Madeleine, the ones lighting candles, the ones lambasting people who are anything but sympathetic towards the McCann family.

You know nothing about the women on here, so do belt up with the "selfish" crap.

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 15:33:39

oh dear Lord!

how is it going to help poor Madeleine by scaring four year olds that they might be abducted from their beds tonight?

electric Tue 03-Jul-07 15:29:58

I totally agree with haychee!! I am trully shocked that there are so many parents apposed to the advert.....maybe they need to put themselves in the same situation as Kate and Gerry. Lets hope the edverts continue in all cinema's and help to bring Maddie home.

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 15:26:23

ah a first poster, what a nice suprise!! welcome to mumsnet furley

Furley Tue 03-Jul-07 15:15:32

Grotesque lapse of Judgment......There are some selfish narrow minded pratts out there. Do I take it that most of you were sat next to your children while watching this thing about Maddy??? What a fantasic feeling that must have been - silly things in knowing where your Children ARE!!! All they are doing is trying their upmost to find their child and all you can whine about is how a small advert can upset your well balanced life! I also saw this advert with my young son, and all I thought was "what a bloody good idea". I dought this would have scared them for life, infact they would have proberly forgotten about it by the end of the film. The amount of Children that go missing each year in the UK alone is huge - but god forbid we make a fuss, for fearing of upseting people - maybe you should stay in your houses, turn off your TV.s and radio's and bury you heads!!

Bartholomewgook Tue 03-Jul-07 14:56:35

There's an ad on the daily mail website but it's just music, no talking.

I'm horrified at the stupidity of some of the comments, both on here and to the newspaper reports. People are entirely missing the point - are people honestly that thick?

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 14:50:11

Guess it was for me then Enid?
Oh well, competetive greiving, new one on me.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 14:48:52

Got to run, just realised my three year old doesn't know what Dr Mengele did to kids his age in the death camps! What an oversight!
And my five year old doesn't know what the Wests did to women they snatched off the street. Must make sure I don't hide anything from them, eh?

Bartholomewgook Tue 03-Jul-07 14:47:51

Is the advert in question online anywhere?

Bartholomewgook Tue 03-Jul-07 14:46:50

So haychee - what have you told your children to do to protect themselves from being snatched from their beds?

Bartholomewgook Tue 03-Jul-07 14:45:59

Oh dear, this thread has gone nuts!

I guess if we are 'most read' on sky news though - the nutters will start filtering in.

I'm with WWW and Enid <head in hands>

MrBocoBurns Tue 03-Jul-07 14:42:13

I think that most mothers have a gnawing fear of something like this happening, of losing your child, or something terrible happening to them. Most of us spend a fair amount of time trying to keep perspective, be safe without letting that anxiety bubble over.

Sharing that anxiety with your children is in my opinion where the selfishness arises. You can make them aware of the things that they can change, but to terrify them with the things that they can't is damaging and emotionally incompetent.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 03-Jul-07 14:40:11

haychee - have read your posts and personally I dont agree with your posts (I have managed not avoid this thread a fair bit). I think stranger danger should be age appropriate and taylored to the individual child. THerefore it is each and every parents right to decide when they broach this with their child.

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 14:37:50

I totally and utterly disagree!!
The news is everywhere - at the bus stop, in conversations, on the news everywhere! Go ahead and hide it from them - what does this achieve? My children are well informed and not at all disturbed! Im totally happy for the campaign to be shown to all - kids included - its how you deal with their qus=estions thats the issue that you need to consider! Of cousre i dont go on to them that someone is going to come in theor bedroom at night thats just a stupid comment to make! My point is, that kids are vulnerable and need education, not everyone is their friend!

SueBaroo Tue 03-Jul-07 14:37:10

oh, and Haychee, I think the implied criticism of the McCanns by suggesting that Madeleine wasn't suitably versed in stranger-danger or she would have screamed etc. is in very poor taste.

homemama Tue 03-Jul-07 14:36:43

And in the unlikely event that my toddler was taken, I'd rather he knew as little as possible about the possibilities of what might be about to happen to him.

ThingOne Tue 03-Jul-07 14:34:13

My son is nearly four. He loves Shrek one and two. We contemplated taking him on his first special trip to the cinema to see the new film but I bottled out as I like to view films first before letting him see them. Not that he's ever actually been scared by any of the things I thought he would be but a mother hen does try to protect her chicks.

I would have been apoplectic with anger had he been subjected to this advert.

We have Radio 4 on all the time at home and he asked a few questions about this story when it was constant headline news. I was able to deal with them in a manner appropriate to his age and understanding. And in a manner that helped my ends as the mother of a budding runaway ...

I did not, and would not, tell a three year old that a child his age had been snatched from her bed while she slept and was presumed dead. It is a completely unsuitable message. A small child can do nothing to protect themselves from this (as has been said already).

It may be fine for a nine year old to know but not a three or four year old. Those of you who are so critical of the complaints about this advert seem to have forgotten this.

wurlywurly Tue 03-Jul-07 14:31:49
elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 14:29:45

how will it help to make them totally aware haychee? so in the unlikely event that they do get snatched they can say to themselves 'oh this is what mummy told me about, i feel better now'.

krang Tue 03-Jul-07 14:25:32

Perhaps we need a new Spot book. Just to make my DS 'aware'.

"Where's Spot? Is he under the bed? No! He's not anywhere! He's been SNATCHED from his bed by a nasty evil dog and he's NEVER coming back to his Mummy!"

I think I'll stick with my 'unaware' stance, thanks, haychee.

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 14:24:54

Do hope my comment about the posters didn't come across as 'competetive greiving' Enid!
The reason i mentioned it was to say how for the MacCanns i am but not this ad for children.

DaisyMOO Tue 03-Jul-07 14:24:16

I would guess that haychee's children are every bit as sane and undisturbed as she is.

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 14:21:13

Wearing a yellow ribbon, loving the cinema ad, displaying posters in your car and house, talking endlessly about the McCanns, telling anyone who will listen that you would do anything to find that little girl, going over it with your children so they are left in no doubt what has happened

all of these things are your choice - but they do not mean that you care more than me. Or anyone else that chooses not to do these things.

Competitive grieving at its very worst.

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 14:18:14

haychee - hide the truth from them

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 14:18:10

haychee - did you use the words "snatched from her bed" when you told your children? Did you let a cinema advert inform them? Or did you exercise your parental right to educate and inform them as you see fit?

mu eldest knows a little girl went missing and people are looking for her because someone sent up yellow ribbons on their fence down the road.

she does not now she was taken from her bed when she was asleep. she does not need to klnow this information.

dd's all aware of stranger danger.

and have the hugest amount of sympathy for the maccann family.

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 14:17:25

You haven't disturbed your children? Are you sure?

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 14:16:37

[Puts head in hands like enid]

contentiouscat Tue 03-Jul-07 14:16:35

Oh is this kicking off now...I see the rational debate has ended.

Popcorn anyone

LennyLapin Tue 03-Jul-07 14:16:18

Oh for gods sake.

"OK darling. Now one day, a nasty man or woman might come into your room when you are asleep. They might put something over your mouth. They might drug you. I need you to know that is BAD in case it ever happens.

OK? Nighty night. Sweet dreams!"

haychee Tue 03-Jul-07 14:15:53

To add,
my children are not worried about going to bed, going on holiday, going to the supermarket etc as some of you cannot understand the message in my thread! I have of course told them it is rare and most likely will not happen to them or anyone they know. The education children need is how to react to what a stranger may say to them to gain their cooperation and get them to go with them. It seems totally natural that children should be aware of real life events and situations that could quite easily happen to them whether it be road safety or stranger danger!
Im not thick - i havnt DISTURBED my children, they just heard of madeleine and asked questions what am i to do? hide them from the issue or be truthful and honest?

i can move my children from bed to bed, fast asleep and they dont wake.

maybe madeleine didnt wake and didnt scream.

wells Tue 03-Jul-07 14:14:23

I think anyone who thinks it is worth making your children too terrified to go to sleep, to take away the warm security of their own bed, in their own home, with their own family, for the infinitesimal chance of being snatched from their bed - a much, much smaller chance than just about anything you can think of, including having something fall off an aircraft and kill them, I'd guess - is mad.

homemama Tue 03-Jul-07 14:13:25

Yes, Krang, their own bed in their own home being one of them!

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 14:13:11

My last post was for Haychee. If you do tell your children what to do if a stranger should come into their bedroom at night, i would say they will not grow up to be safe and smart, they will grow up to be nervous and scared of vereything.

bundle Tue 03-Jul-07 14:12:44

a half asleep 4 yr old child will struggle enough to escape the clutches of an adult, presumably a fully-grown male, who has a plan?

if you tell a child that this scenario is likely (and obviously it isn't) then you may end up with a seriously insomniac, frightened child, instead of the "savvy" one you obviously want.

elesbelles Tue 03-Jul-07 14:12:39

haychee a thread for you darling just for you

emsiewill Tue 03-Jul-07 14:12:35

One of my biggest pet hates, people telling my children that they are going to be "stolen" by a "nasty man" if they aren't careful.

What a load of shit.

Speccy Tue 03-Jul-07 14:11:55

"Stupid, wrong and totally ridiculous"

My thoughts exactly haychee.

Angeliz Tue 03-Jul-07 14:11:35

think you're deliberately missing the point. Do you tell your children that they aren't safe in their own beds at night?

krang Tue 03-Jul-07 14:11:29

I am pleased to hear this ad is not going to be shown before childrens' films.

My DS is only 16 months and isn't old enough to either see Shrek or understand about abduction. However, when he is old in enough I will try and find a way to make him aware without terrifying him too much.

But there is another side to this. I think there are some places where children should be able to go which aren't touched by the foulness of 'real life.' I think for young children, places like the cinema and the theatre and the library should be about escaping reality, other worlds, magic and fun.

I am sorry for the McCanns, but please, let's allow our children to have a few places to escape.

Enid Tue 03-Jul-07 14:10:57

she was asleep you stupid mare