Child marriage

(358 Posts)
FruityPops Mon 07-Oct-13 12:20:15

Why are so many imams in the UK willing to force fourteen year old girls to marry against their wishes? Don't ordinary muslims know what's going on?

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2447720/Clerics-18-mosques-caught-agreeing-marry-girls-14-Four-imams-investigated-undercover-operation.html

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Oct-13 12:19:50

Your purpose and others of your ilk is not to help those who are suffering the consequences of child marriage. Its about cultural imperialism. Its about saying look how much better we are then them. Promoting and maintaining this us and them mentality is not going to protect British girls here of White/ Black/ Asian/ Chinese origin from being sexually abused. You want to help end child marriage? Put your money where your mouth is and go do something to support this charity

www.plan-uk.org/what-we-do/campaigns/because-i-am-a-girl/get-involved/take-the-vow/

who are working to end child marriage wherever it occurs not just in South Asian communities. But if like most of your other predictable posts on threads such as this one you are just here to mouth off about how bad those mozlims are then I am going to be aggressive. To borrow a phrase from my christian cousins 'don't suffer fools gladly'.

SilverApples Thu 10-Oct-13 12:22:12

Have you read any of my posts specifically, or are you just up for polemic ranting?

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Oct-13 12:24:25

No problem alemci and apologies again for targeting you earlier.

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Oct-13 13:20:32

'To me the answer lies largely with education, so that the passive acceptance of unequality ends, and that girls are given alternative, real options for their futures.'

We seem to be saying the same thing SilverApples. I think I may have confused you with someone else who also has a food in the last part of their name. Sorry blush. That teaches me not to post without reading the whole thread.

crescentmoon Thu 10-Oct-13 13:51:17

Peace peacefuloptimist, ive found silverapples posts have been very thoughtful and nuanced throughout this thread. she makes the same points about access to education and and the ability to work for themselves as you have done. actually, its been such posts by her and friday16 that have made me feel more open to discuss issues here.

alemci i hadnt read your reply to my post on marriage, im glad you appreciated it. i read through that article from that link libertygospeltracts, its in the same style as those written by muslims questioning the historical age of Aisha. there are differences of opinion on it but even the widely touted age of 9 has never phased me, because it was probably the last thing i learnt about her after hearing of her achievements and exploits in the desert arab society she came from. whereas to most non muslims, the first and only thing they hear about Lady Aisha is her age, nothing else she did in her life. many muslims name their daughters after her and when they do so its because they hope that girl child will be as intelligent and high achieving in life as Lady Aisha was.

until last month the difference between consent/marriage age in Spain : age 13, and Malta: age 18, was 5 years, and they are both western european countries. but now spain has just increased it to 16, leaving Austria and Germany now as Europe's lowest age with 14. i hope that closing of the differences in min marriage/consent ages happens in other parts of the world also, but they will never be the same because of different cultural norms.

but actually, i didnt watch the programme, how was it then?

alemci Thu 10-Oct-13 15:49:33

without sounding like a walking cliche, I think we can all learn from each other and I think alot of societies problems are to do with girls and boys not being allowed to be that and being put under so much pressure to have sex when they are not emotionally mature enough and not adults, ITMS.

brettgirl2 Sun 13-Oct-13 09:50:48

This thread is shocking I think. Islamaphobia-bashing any religion-bashing getting in the way of discussion about forced marriage. I find the attitudes of those dismissive just shock .

A young woman (may be 29 or 15) is forced into marrying, often by being coerced/ occasionally threatened into going abroad. She has to marry, to not marry would mean being cut off from her family or in some cases violence (honour killings although rare happen). She usually will then against her will have to have sex with her husband. The young woman is seen as belonging to her in laws, it is very difficult to leave for the same reason she had to marry in the first place. It also happens to young men.

People on here say it doesn't happen in their circles (probably uneducated, poorly integrated people are less likely to be on mn). People say it is not just Muslims (again correct, it's cultural not religious, absolutely). It only happens to a very small minority true. Other bad things happen - true. However none of these mean there is not a problem.

To the people who don't believe it there are loads of books written by victims and its just awful sad . Forget about fruity's islamophobia and open your eyes.

I don't think anyone was saying there isn't a problem brettgirl, it's just that the OP was focused on forced marriage as a 'Muslims problem'. It's a societal problem.

I do know someone who was coerced into marriage - a vulnerable young Hindu woman. It's one of many shitty things her 'loving' family have done to her sad

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