Nigella. Would you have intervened?

(114 Posts)
bkgirl Sun 16-Jun-13 15:10:10

So sorry for Nigella. Shocked no-one intervened. Was it because they were famous?

May be totally wrong but given his age could it be dementia? Could that explain her reaction?

bkgirl Sun 16-Jun-13 15:12:57

Just saw update. I do like Nigella, poor thing.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 16-Jun-13 15:28:29

I would have (I THINK) but I am very gobby indeed.

lostproperty Sun 16-Jun-13 15:29:43

Yes I would have.

delboysfileofax Sun 16-Jun-13 15:30:54

Fuck No. It normally results in them both turning on you.

Probably not. Because that would only serve to make me feel better and do jack to help her. If they turned on me then the story would have been about a member of the public disturbing the celebrity couple and not about the violence that took place towards her. No way would she have been able to side with me or thank me. She would probably be waiting for the punishment at home.

Southeastdweller Sun 16-Jun-13 15:40:37

I'm ashamed to say no, for the reasons wheresmy says. Also, Saatchi is a powerful man, well-connected...I'd be fearful of any nasty repercussions.

(Of course that doesn't mean I wouldn't have cared, would have wanted to go give her a hug or squeeze her hand just to let her know someone cared. But ultimately safety wise.... )

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 16-Jun-13 15:44:28

Nasty repercussions! He was just a guy in a restaurant THROTTLING his wife!

I think he is the one who should have thought of repercussions. My rather grand grandmother would have hit him with her umbrella and damn the repercussions.

Imagine just taking photos and doing nothing hmm

But if the repercussions were him being angry pissed off and taking it out on her when they got home how would that have helped?

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 16-Jun-13 15:49:02

Well a cooling off period in the hands of the police would have helped him? There is no way I would let some guy strangle and not intervene in case he got angry at home. Seriously. If he is going for her throat in public he's going to hurt her at home anyway unless someone (anyone?) calls him out.

Morgause Sun 16-Jun-13 15:52:09

I'd have phoned the police and also spoken to her - maybe said, "Are you ok?" I have before in a similar situation.

NoRainNoRainbow Sun 16-Jun-13 15:52:21

No I wouldn't.

I learnt the hard way though, I used to work in a restaurant, husband and wife are arguing, he leans across and slaps her, I go up all guns blazing (was about 18 and 5'2" and about 7st) tell him to get out, the wife turns on me, how dare you embarress my husband, who do you think you are, he sat there smirking.

They finished their meal and he started on her outside the restaurant....saying you just wait til we get home you made a scene etc etc.

Anecdotal yes, but makes me think of the repercussions for the woman.

NoRainNoRainbow Sun 16-Jun-13 15:53:01

But YY to calling the police, giving them the CCTV and asking if she was ok.

All he had to do was say that we were disturbing him and have us thrown out diverting all the attention on to that rather than gathering evidence to genuinely help her.

He's a millionaire who can buy his way out if anything. It would have been her that got the blame of be was arrested and taken it out on her at home sad

Dackyduddles Sun 16-Jun-13 15:57:20

I definitely would have. I have before on tube. Some young black guy and white guy aged about 18-20 were kicking an elderly couple in the corridor of a tube line. I yanked one back by the neck and shouted what the hell are you doing?! Tbf they were so surprised they just glared at me then scarpered. Tbh I was somewhat surprised myself. Lovely couple looked shell shocked.

Ill step in because I like to think someone would for me too. I think it's the honourable thing to do. (Damn you you decent upbringing!)

CuttedUpPear Sun 16-Jun-13 15:59:14

I would.

A random event with strangers who won't meet again is different to a senario where the victim has to go home with the attacker.

Casmama Sun 16-Jun-13 15:59:55

I think this thread is in pretty poor taste. It appears to have been a pretty horrendous experience for her and a thread of people speculating over whether or not they would have been a hero if they were there is vile.

yamsareyammy Sun 16-Jun-13 16:00:36

lots of details from refuge on here.

It basically seems to be saying, no dont intervene. That is dangerous both for yourself and for her.

bkgirl Sun 16-Jun-13 16:05:50

LOL Dacky.I hope I would have stepped in myself, probably wouldn't have been able to stop myself. Though as other posters have said, it may only mean that the poor person getting hurt will get it worse at home.

In a way, the best thing WAS to take pics - irrefutable proof.

Just goes to show (again) domestic violence happens in all kinds of households. I wonder did he try this on his previous wives, if so they must have been pretty intimidated. Scary. Nigella wouldn't be a pushover but she really seemed frightened. sad

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 16:06:40

Wouldn't have intervened (because DH would have stopped me, being infinitely more sensible and less feisty than I am) because I think it might have made it worse for Nigella, but I would have definitely called the police, and captured images on my phone if possible without making the situation worse.

I'm at a loss at to understand why none of the witnesses called the police at the time confused

noddyholder Sun 16-Jun-13 16:07:47


MrsDeVere Sun 16-Jun-13 16:11:33

Just as many people do not intervene because they are too stunned to, many intervene because it is instinctive.

I tend to say something if I see something untoward happening. I have been much more likely to as I have got older and since I lost my DD.
A mix of nihilism and age related assertiveness maybe?

I am pretty sure i would of in this case but since reading the opinions of DV victims and the links I now think I would have to do something else. Like slip her the number of WA or something.

I am a bit dismayed at the amount of sneering on these threads about people who feel they would/have helped victims.

There is a very nasty slant to these posts where they want to make it all about the poster wanting to feel good about themselves.

When I have intervened it has been fuck all to do with me, its about what is going on in front of me and wanting it to stop.

Sometimes it takes a OI! or other times its takes a more 'is there anything I can do to help?'

A man with LDs was hit in the head with a rock by teenagers whilst I was driving past. Damn right I intervened. It was a man, with LD, being hit, with a rock.

Didn't feel good about myself. I felt sick and angry and shaken up for days.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 16-Jun-13 16:11:40

Who is speculating they would have been a hero?

But! Is hurting women in public ok now if you are rich? How far would it had to go before some of you intervened? Seriously. I want to know.

Am appalled to be honest. I can't think of anyone I know who would not have got in the way of a man strangling his wife and if that's poor taste so be it.

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