I only realised when I was 20 that a great uncle(long dead) had abused me as a 4 year old (for about 3 years). I literally woke up with the memory unlocked. I phoned my sister who confirmed that it was real. Since then cousins have also confirmed he abused them too. So yes, I am so sorry for anyone in the same position. Frankly, I never had counselling but I think about it especially when my 12 year old grabs me by the wrist and I feel sick. I have considered defacing the b@stards grave! I also fully support putting child abusers down, I would flick a switch unpaid myself.
I personally had a blinding flash of realisation a while ago that a friend's father was a vile man, disguised as a happy family fella.
It was mild and didn't register at the time, and doesn't compare at all to what some people have put up with, but basically on one cold day he told his daughter and I to 'sit on my hands to warm them up'. I was a young teen. Not dim, but timid and eager to be a good girl. We did as requested. I remember feeling a bit at the time, but it was only years later that I realised that it was probably a suspect thing to ask of your child and their friend.
I lost touch with that friend and her family not long after, but do sometimes wonder what happened to her and whether that was an isolated incidence or a bit of a snapshot into what he was like.
Just that. It was a different time and in those days the general view was that they/we were asking for it. Groping, bum pinching, breast grabbing and skirt lifting were all viewed as 'a bit of fun', but humiliating for the victim. Anyone living through the 1960s/70s will know what I'm saying.
People in the public eye are coming forward now because it is no longer an unmentionable topic.