SIL's reaction over "dirty" bath toys!

[onthepier]

My SIL came to stay with us last weekend + offered to bath the dc's on the second night.

Afterwards she told me in a very disgruntled tone that the squeezy bath toys were dirty + had "mouldy bits" coming out of them when squeezed.

Felt embarrassed but checked later + she was right! She'd put them up on a shelf, saying I shouldn't use them again (which annoyed me, it's my house after all)!

By the way, she's fastidious generally, she's the type that if she found a speck of dust she'd tell you, I don't have her here that often if I can help it!! She's still single + complains of having too much time on her hands, (I never have enough!)

Anyway, when she left the following day she said to my dh, "Oh by the way, I've left some money on the side for you + Onthepier to buy the kids new bath toys!" Obviously said very sarcastically as she got in her car + drove off!

I'm furious to be honest, I work part time, always make a big effort with the house + food etc when people stay for the weekend + that was her parting shot, barely a thank you for having me!!

I'm annoyed with dh for not saying anything back + am tempted to phone her myself. He's saying just leave it, we know what she's like. I'm thinking she's in her 40's + should learn some manners! Anybody else found mould in their bath toys by the way? The dc's don't often play with these particular ones but I've obviously thrown them out now!

[onepieceoflollipop]

onthepier bath toys often go a bit yukky. I think we are supposed to squeeze them out on a regular basis but in reality most of us don't have time! I chuck out the worst ones every few months.

Also, I only tend to have a small selection in use at any one time (rotate them) otherwise I would end up with about 30 going mouldy.

Just leave it, reassure yourself that she can't be very happy and have much else on in her life if she is worried about a few mucky bath toys. (imo)

[ChasingSquirrels]

i just assumed everyone had mouldy bath toys!

[SparklyGothKat]

i have had mouldy bath toys, just assumed it happens after a while

[JacobsPrincess]

Suck up a bit of diluted Milton, gives the toys a good clean!
Maybe wash SIL mouth out with it too!

[BroccoliSpears]

Our bath toys are a bit gross. I always mean to put them through the dishwasher but I forget.

SIL was rude. Did she mean to be nice or did she mean to be horrid?

[Megglevache]

Lol at JP.

Mine go like this too if dd's poo doersn't get to them first- she's right proper bad at doing that

[AnotherFineMess]

I don't think a child ever died from a mouldy bath toy.

Enjoy spending the money!

[PortAndLemon]

Bath toys (especially the not-so-well-designed ones) do often get mouldy and yucky, and in most cases there isn't much you can do except throw them out.

Pointing out the mould isn't unreasonable, although there are reasonable and unreasonable ways of doing it. Leaving the money on the side is beyond rude, though. If you felt up to it, you could buy a book on basic etiquette, stick a bookmark in the bit about thanking hosts and send it to her with a note saying "thanks for the cash, but we felt that spending it on this would ultimately be more useful than buying new bath toys"

Or perhaps that would be unwise...

[JacobsPrincess]

Use the cash to buy gin...

[Megglevache]

I was going to say a stick dislodger for the one in SIL's arse

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Mine are gross but the kids have great fun trying to catch the bits of mould that come whizzing out every squeeze. Makes for a much more entertaining bath time.

SIL sounds a bit uptight which has come over as rude.

[Heated]

Have got rid of all bath-toys with holes in their bottoms since dcs liked to drink bath water from them

Maybe cut SIL some slack, she bathed the dcs & gave them them a useful a gift...and she is stepping admirably into the role of acerbic spinsterly aunt .

[Megglevache]

oh to be in the company of a coven of slatterns, tis great.

[solo]

Don't think it's mould exactly...it's probably soap scum...it's horrible! I'm going to try the Milton ~ thanks jacobsprincess!

[FabioHungoverNoShoutingPlease]

are you sure it was said sarcastically - maybe your judgement is slightly clouded?

bath toys do go manky though.
she has no children, she doesn't get it.

she left you some money as a gift and a thank you - maybe she thought you were horrified about the bath toys, and she was helping?

it sounds like she got right on your nerves, but it may be that her intentions are good.

you might be over reactign a tad.

[handlemecarefully]

Yes I've found mould in my bath toys. Lol, just laugh at the daft bint and her eccentric ways. Agree she was rude though....

[onthepier]

Hi, thanks for all your posts!

Decided not to say anything to SIL, life's too short! She may be staying for New Year though, (with her parents, rarely does anything without them!), obviously they're my dh's parents too.

Might mention to MIL that she + FIL are welcome to stay but it'll be too much to take all 3 of them straight after Xmas, (I'm hoping SIL will stay in a hotel!)

She stayed over Easter, completely hyped the dc's up for 3 days + then phoned me saying that if we're struggling to cope with their behaviour she will come down any time + help!!! Did hint that it was her who'd hyped them up + they're normally fine but she talked over me, (she normally does!)

Dh wants to stay out of it although he agrees she's difficult, do wish he'd make more of a stand with her though!

[AbstractMouse]

I think being a pita with the kids is a preserve of the childless auntie. I too have been surprised by the lovely black bits when bath toys haven't been squeezed for a while mmmm nice lol.

I think the whole money on the side thing is a bit snide tbh especially as a parting shot. If you don't have to see her that often then just let it go.

My sis who has no children is often the font of all knowledge wrt to behaviour of my kids (whilst hyping them up then basically getting stroppy when they get over excited and won't leave her alone).

[Skramble]

Mine always went a bit yucky, especially those that suck in water.

I can see why SIL maybe said about why she put them to the side and didn't use them, that could have been a concerned helpful act. But the fact she handed you money to get some new ones was def more of a "you skanky bitch" type action.

[edam]

Bath toys just go that way, don't think there's any way of preventing it. But a non-parent probably doesn't realise this - she may well have been attempting to be helpful.

I used to put ds's bath toys in boiling water with lots of fairy liquid and squeeze them until all the mould had come out. He is, of course, a PFB. Can't imagine bothering to do all that again if I had another child!

[edam]

(In my defence, he used to try to squirt the bath toys and drink the water so I wasn't being PFB-ish for the sake of it, honest!)

[Aitch]

i think you don't like her, why make out like she's done something wrong. she gave your kids a bath, discovered a problem with their toys, put them to one side and left money to replace them. oh yes, she's a total cow...

[chloemegjess]

Mine are the same. Don't worry about it