So how on earth do i do ANY housework with a bf-on-demand 4 week old?

[sushistar]

before ds came along at begining of december i was a bit houseproud, and i knew that would have to change! but i can't even get the most basic stuff like washing done - how on earth am i supposed to keep some semblance of order? poor dh is going to come back from his 1st day back at work since ds was born to an ABSOLUTE TIP but ds wants to feed all the time so i can do nothing! [frustrated emotican]

[oranges]

you don't. sit and feed and relax. i love this line:

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

[Anna8888]

Hmm. It's not easy to do anything other than care for your baby and yourself in the early weeks.

It is unrealistic to think that you can maintain your existing standards of housework without an extra pair of hands. So either you enlist someone to help (buy in some cleaning/ironing, get family to help out or ask your DH to do more) or you let it slip.

[Washersaurus]

lol I'm still letting mine slip at 5mths!

[whenachildisbob]

Have you got a sling or a baby carrier of some kind?

I had a front carrier for my first 2, and I'm hoping to in a sling for baby no3 which will allow access to the boob while I'm pottering around.

Having said that, at 4 weeks, do not worry about the housework! My m/w said that she was always more worried about the mental health of the new mums who had immaculate houses with a newborn, because it meant the baby was coming second.

Housework can wait - just do the minimum to get by and see if you can get a friend or family member in to give you a hand - even an hour or so to help you catch up is a godsend

And congratulations!!!

[ruty]

RELAX! Really, your dh will have to understand that housework is not a priority when you have a tiny baby. Or if it is really important to you both get a cleaner! It is only a temporary situation, the first three months are really just for you and baby to chill out and bond and feed. I don't think I left the sofa much for that first three months! Please don't worry.

[vitomum]

get a sling. ds2 spends most of his day in his and just pops out for feeds. I actually find it has helped space the feeds out more cos he is so contended in the sling he doesn't need to feed every 2 mins for comfort.

[ruty]

yes when ds was a tiny baby he hated the pram and cot but very happy in a sling.

[JingleyJen]

you are doing exactly the right thing - focus on your baby not the house - HOWEVER
swallow your pride and if anyone asks if there is anything they can do to help - ask them if they would fling the hoover round - or ask them to unstack the dishwasher - they are asking because they have probably been in your situation and really do want to help.

If you don't want to ask people write a to do list on a blackboard in the kitchen and if anyone asks to help say there is a list of things to do on the blackboard in the kitchen if you fancy doing something then they can choose.

You are doing really well!

[Niecie]

It can't be done, I'm afraid. Best thing is to try not to worry about it.

Either you have to get your DH to help (even if it is just holding or changing the baby whilst you put a load of washing in) or you get somebody in to do some cleaning for a while. I had a cleaner from 7 weeks until DS1 was about 4 mths old. I hated having somebody in the house but it did keep everything under control until such times as DS went to sleep in the evening at a reasonable time and I had a couple of hours to myself before bed. Noisy jobs like hoovering got left until the weekend or I carried him round on my hip.

It will get better though. As oranges says they are little for such a short time, you might as well relax and enjoy it.

[sushistar]

thanks for the advice everyone. i tried the sling but ds can smell milk i think because he started rooting as soon as i put him in! i might try again though. i think my ny resolution should be to chill out about the housework! i guess i'm paranoid about people - esp mil - thinking i'm 'not coping'.

[Niecie]

sushistar - don't worry about not appearing to cope. I have a friend who had PND and her house was immaculate because she became obsessive about cleaning and appearing to cope. She ended up in hospital.

I don't think anybody expects your house to be tidy for a few months yet (even a MIL) and making a huge effort just for the sake of appearances isn't worth it.

All day feeding doesn't last forever, although it feels like it sometimes

[Washersaurus]

I couldn't vacuum with DS2 in the sling because the dyson wand kept bashing him , so now I have to wait until he goes down for a lunchtime nap and frantically run round with the vacuum. Only if I have the energy though - I usually veg on the sofa with a cuppa for a rest

[ruty]

Do not worry about MIL! That should be the last thing on your mind at moment. Enjoy your baby and don't worry about what you 'ought' to be doing.

[ruty]

Do not worry about MIL! That should be the last thing on your mind at moment. Enjoy your baby and don't worry about what you 'ought' to be doing.

[LIZS]

You don't ! Lower your standards for a while, put washing on just before you go to bed and hang out next day, get dh to help(can he bathe baby while you wipe bathroom or run hoover around, for example or vice versa). Disposable all purpose cleaning wipes are great !

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

Staff or dirt darling.

[ruty]

LOL.

[belgo]

Oranges - lovely quote!
sushistar - I learnt to do the basics of housework very fast, and let my standards drop significantly! I loved using a sling for my baby, but not while doing housework - I found that very tiring.

[LoveAngel]

You don't. Housework takes a complete back seat when you are BF-ing on demand (especially in the early weeks). Sod it. Get some else to do it, or keep it to an absolute minimum.

[oranges]

I've found the whole poem:

Mother, of Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

-- Author Unknown

[handlemecarefully]

Get a cleaner (serious advice)

If you are houseproud it will kill you to ignore the mounting mess (it did me), so if you can afford it, pay to get someone else to help with the chores

[handlemecarefully]

and buy a wilkinet baby carrier and put baby in it whilst you try to get on with whatever you need to get on with