The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

(841 Posts)
Solo Sat 28-Dec-13 17:54:15

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.
Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.
I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? smile

Solo Wed 01-Jul-15 00:45:55

Keeping the thread going!!

Solo Thu 25-Jun-15 11:22:11

We sound similar Blue! I'm very sentimental too...when is the baby due? my Dd was a week late and born on Boxing Day! I was in the loft at 7 months pg!! hmm daft!!
Didn't seem to do much lazing around! and I wasn't so untidy and my house wasn't as full as it is now!!

I'm just going to go and do some more in the kitchen. A wash load needs hanging outside and a chicken needs roasting.
See you on the other side of the day!!

BlueBananas Thu 25-Jun-15 10:53:06

Crazy isn't it, pregnancy is the time in life that it's acceptable to sit in your arse, and instead we're clearing cupboards & lofts haha!

My kids have a box file each separated in ages to begin with then by each school year for all of their school stuff & artwork, I think I'd rather the actual piece of paper with pasta and glitter all over it than just a photo of it - but I'm overly sentimental with things like that!

I didn't get much done yesterday, it was sports day in the afternoon and I had to go shopping for my Nan in the morning, but I did buy DS a birthday present and replenished my stockpile a little bit (ignoring the fact that I'm supposed to be getting stuff out not bringing it in!)
I used to stockpile a long time ago when I was a single mum & skint but I stopped when DP moved back in and I decided I wanted space more. But with a baby due scarily close to Christmas and me being as unorganised as I am I've decided to make just a little one of essential things we can't afford to run out of at 9pm on a Sunday and all the shops are shut yes I'm thinking of a specific toilet roll incident
So it's just things like toilet roll, shower gel, toothpaste, shampoo & conditioner, cleaning stuff etc. haven't moved on to food yet, we're eating out of the freezer & cupboards for a while because I plan to batch cook for the few weeks around baby's birth when I've got the freezer space

So today I'm in a mission! Kids are in school all day (youngest is only full time 2 days a week so these days are precious!) so I need to make a difference today, I'm tackling our bedroom today (no I haven't finished the clothes but I'm ignoring that! Half a job Bob as usual!) there's a black bag I need I go through, I think it's cards and other sentimental crap, I want it out! And 3 purple boxes that I have absolutely no idea what is in them, I want them out too! I'm going in...

How you getting on Solo?

Solo Wed 24-Jun-15 00:29:03

When I was pg with Dd, I was up in the low loft hmm sorting it out and moving stuff around! it was crazy really!!

Glad you got some inspiration; though I wish my house reflected how much I seem to have done on this thread!

I haven't kept all of the Dc's artwork, though I have kept most of it! I did get a bit gungho with it and I did bin some of it earlier this year ~ I did, honestly! photographing it is a good way of preserving it without it taking up so much space. I haven't done that, but I would if I was getting rid of all of it.

So, what do you stockpile? I used to have a stock of emergency food things in plastic storage boxes. I went through a worried stage and made sure we had tinned and dried and jarred stuff, tin opener and bottle opener etc. I seem to have got through that now and have used up a lot of it.

I think you are doing very well and will succeed in getting done before November.

BlueBananas Tue 23-Jun-15 20:19:00

Thanks solo smile you definitely did inspire me, you're doing amazingly well and dealing with so much more other stuff going on than me too! If you can make such big improvements I definitely can't be making excuses anymore!
TwoandTwo oh I hope I'm the same, the sight of all this baby stuff coming in is making me so tense knowing we're already so low on space! I think it's having a date to work towards that is a big motivator in pregnancy, I can't just plod along at any old pace, someone else is moving in by mid November at the latest - they need the space more than my junk does!

So today I sorted the kids clothes/undies/pj's and filled 2 black bags for C4C, so need to do what I can do of my stuff tomorrow (but I did mine just before I got pregnant and the only new stuff that's come in is maternity stuff so not much to do there really) and persuade DP to do his (he's got more clothes than everyone else combined!) I've done the shoes out of the shoe cupboard already because I bought everyone their own box for all their shoes to stop the scrambling around looking for a matching pair; that's another bin bag full, so I need to do the coats/jackets/hoodies/hats in the shoe cupboard then can do a C4C run - hopefully tomorrow or more realistically it'll be Thursday

Also today I went through a big plastic box where I throw every drawing/painting the kids have ever done (yes 5 years worth!) so I don't have to make decisions about what's worth keeping! Well today I made those decisions! It was painful and I had to make a pile of things to have a second look at but eventually I got there - lots got put in their files and 2 bin bags (!!) went in the recycling!
I am now using the box for my stockpile (yes I stockpile blush) and I am vowing to deal with kids artwork as it happens!

Feel like I just word vomited all over you! Sorry!
I do all this work and nobody notices so if I list it here at least it'll seem like I've done it, if that makes sense? It doesn't does it?!

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Tue 23-Jun-15 18:11:31

Blue ironic when you consider how cumbersome one gets, but I was really motivated and got rid of LOADS when pregnant!

Solo Tue 23-Jun-15 14:32:49

Tibby that's a good start smile I'm a dreadful hoarder of books and everything else! and hate getting rid of them. My neighbour gave me a carrier bag full of 'crappy paperbacks' and me being me, I took them! I won't read them I'm certain, so I must get rid!
I hope the RoD is going well.

Welcome Blue smile you certainly have your hands full thanks. Did you get any inspiration from the thread? I do hope so smile
Not skipping stuff is ok as long as you are doing something with the things ~ which you are as you are putting by for C4C.

Keep posting and doing, doing and posting smile

I started in the kitchen again this morning, but then got a long awaited for phone call from a friend which distracted me and stopped all intended work.
I did get a wash load (bedding) done and on the line and the dishwasher is going now. There's an hour before I collect Dd from school and then over to Mums as it's her birthday.

Keep up the good work ladies!! thanks

BlueBananas Tue 23-Jun-15 10:34:01

I spent last night and this morning reading this whole thread and was so hoping there were still people around when I got to the end ha!
I have been slowly decluttering my house for about a year now but with DC3 due in November I need to seriously get a wriggle on!
There's me, DP, DS (5) & DD (4) and DPup in a 3 bed and we are all just naturally very messy
I have anxiety and I float in & out of depression, we suspect DS is on the autism spectrum somewhere, he also has health problems (respiratory) eating problems & sleeping problems (not sleeping, sleepwalking & night terrors) so he is a lot of work, DD is like a tornado and DP is just lazy! So we're really fighting an uphill battle keeping ontop of the house sometimes!

I made a good start last year and got rid of about 25 bin bags & boxes, then it all got a bit slow and was bits & bobs here and there, this week we've got a skip on the drive as we need a new bathroom so I'm taking the opportunity to chuck a load of stuff in
In true me style though I'm in the middle of sorting clothes to take to c4c ATM and not using the skip atall!!

...sorry about that essay, I'm just procrastinating again on here!

tibbysmum Tue 23-Jun-15 08:33:20

Ok, still haven't started the room of doom - but I have taken ten bags of crappy paperback novels to the charity shop and I finally have enough bookshelves for decent books!
This afternoon: start clearing RoD and list anything decent on Ebay....

Solo Tue 23-Jun-15 00:19:07

Well done you!!! smile you have made a great start!! thanks

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Sun 21-Jun-15 23:25:31

Our house isn't huge, so, with the childen watching a film then doing Lego, there wasn't really anywhere to be so I spent all afternoon in the kitchen, cooking and tidying and filling/emptying the dishwasher. Until the end, when I realised how long I had been on my feet, it was a productive and satisfying time. Six people and three meals a day creates a log of washing-up!

Solo Sun 21-Jun-15 01:40:16

Hello Tibby thanks for joining in smile. I don't feel like I'm doing well, but I'm trying again smile

Nowhere yes, just join in!! it sounds like you and I are similar! I bought the Kondo book, but haven't read it yet (story of my life!!)

Two I think it's excellent to have only bought replacement Pyrex dishes! I have improved in as much as I can actually leave a charity shop without buying anything now, which I certainly didn't used to be able to do.

Keep posting ladies and thank you for keeping me company!

Today I have done a little more of the kitchen, plus two wash loads.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Sat 20-Jun-15 19:30:56

Hi, Solo, I have started to write my story several times, but life keeps intervening.

Rather pleased today because of how little I bought on a bric-à-brac stall at a Community Day. I realise having bought nothing would have been better, but a couple of Pyrex dishes were to replace useful ones I have broken ...

NowhereNow Sat 20-Jun-15 16:07:32

I lurk on this thread. I should probably join in, but I'm not making much progress so that puts me off posting.

I read the Kondo thread too, but I just have some much crap that's all jumbled up randomly and spread all over the house that it's quite hard to do by category.

tibbysmum Sat 20-Jun-15 15:41:41

I'm here Solo!! Just reading at the moment, sounds like you are doing SO WELL. I will join in on Monday when I (finally) tackle the "room of doom" aka my office smile

Solo Fri 19-Jun-15 17:35:15

Hi Two please join in! I'm so lonely!!

Today I have gone through Dd's winter clothing and bagged up for C4C's. I've also started to sort a bit of the kitchen out, but still loads to do!!

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Fri 19-Jun-15 00:35:01

I check in to read but I haven't written my story yet ...

Solo Thu 18-Jun-15 23:11:06


Solo Sat 06-Jun-15 02:47:04

Bumping to keep track of this thread...

Anyone out there?!

Solo Sat 23-May-15 12:43:39

Not decluttering exactly, but I sorted/tidies and weeded my front garden yesterday. Got the blisters to prove it too!!

Solo Thu 21-May-15 10:28:41

How is it going for you wigglylines? hope you are ok?

I am not doing enough. Must change that!!

Solo Wed 13-May-15 10:56:46

Trees are almost all gone now. A massive difference!!

Solo Sun 10-May-15 01:03:14

Four old garden chairs gone to a new home. I rescued them from being thrown out by an elderly neighbour, but had never used them, so got rid. I also did a bit of garden sorting today.
Trees coming down from Monday!

Solo Wed 06-May-15 09:53:52

Oh no!! I'm sorry to hear that sad I too am in search of a job (sort of), but trying to get the house done before I get one. I'm a great procrastinator too blush. It's not a great thing to be IMHO. It's made my sorting out journey very lengthy.

Hope your day improves. flowers

wigglylines Wed 06-May-15 01:40:30

Thanks solo smile

Found out I lost my job today, so am going to have to put spare time into job hunting ...

This might be a good thing though as far as cleaning goes though, I can see myself cleaning as job-hunting-avoidance once I get really sick of it, I am a master of procrastination!

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