How do you get zombie flesh out of carpets?

[EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls]

It's a long story but Sephrenia and I found it necessary to attack MNHQ with a zombie army, and MNHQ have asked me to start a thread for advice on how to get the zombie mess out of their carpets.

Any suggestions?

[FreddieMercurysBolero]

Lemon juice and vinegar, along with some good old fashioned elbow grease.

[SephreniaRidesABroomstick]

So, white wine is a no then?

[EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls]

Thanks Freddie.

[MollyintheMoon]

There should be plenty of elbows lying around for the grease.

[SayGhoulNowSayWitch]

Sephrenia - you definitely need white wine just not for cleaning

[Originalviperspit]

Would bicarb work? Lifting the stains from the carpet is going to be better than using bleaching agents?

[purplewerepidj]

here

[Arkady]

If we flooded MNHQ, could flesh-eating fish nibble it out? You know, the ones used for pedicures? The BBC news website says this about them:
"Tiny Garra Rufa fish, or "doctor fish" as they are affectionately called, are a type of toothless carp that nibble on the dead skin.
Their use in spas across the UK has been gaining in popularity.
In the US, however, some states have banned their use over health and safety concerns of having the same fish clean the skin of multiple customers."

[Arkady]

Obviously we couldn't then reuse the fish for feet cleaning, as they might be infected with zombieism.

[SephreniaRidesABroomstick]

I like purple's idea. Seems like it might help, at least with the more stubborn stains

If we have to burn the carpets bran what about the walls? I'm not sure they've used washable wallpaper

[EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls]

I like Arkady's idea but we'd then have the problem of drying the place out again.

Bran, I'm worried that you might be right but then as Sephrenia said the whole place is covered and they might not like us burning it down...

Let's go with Purple's idea and plenty of Freddie and Molly's elbow grease. And maybe we'd better introduce compulsory biohazard suits just to be safe.

[SephreniaRidesABroomstick]

And FGS, nobody tell the government! They've buggered up enough stuff as it is, we don't need them messing around in MNHQ while we clean up

[eaglewings]

Has no one mentioned vodka and lemon juice yet?

[SephreniaRidesABroomstick]

Lemon juice yes, not vodka though.

[SephreniaRidesABroomstick]

[purplewerepidj]

But wouldn't the cute little feet-nibbley fish then turn into rampaging piranhas?

[EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls]

Hmmm. I guess we don't want to unleash hordes of zombie piranhas.

[purplewerepidj]

No one would notice if the got the politicians, then?

[EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls]

Do you think anyone would notice if the piranhas took over?

[Fuzzled]

Magic eraser for the walls? Or we could just overpaint in the ever popular magnolia?

I know of a good skip company if we need to deposit the extra elbows and grease should it be required...

[GentleOtter]

If zombies have managed to infiltrate your living room and dripped all over the carpet then it is time for packing the OFRS.
Failing that, try a Roomba.

[eaglewings]

Well vodka and lemon worked wonders on the zombies in my kitchen, I can now see twice as many but hic I don't care norepinephrine

[eaglewings]

Hic any more hic hc

[DontCallMeBaby]

Would freezing work? You know, like you do with chewing gum. You'd still want to have the hazmat suits though.