I would love to work less but have to work full time as does dh but her works shifts so I am on own with kids a lot and exhausted.Its much much harder than I thought but I did not antcipate working full time but we have a big mortgage and I earn more so no choice
Sometime I wish it was the 70's when people had less and I could have spent more time with kids like my mum did

The govt won't introduce tax breaks because it is too expensive to administer and would require a move away from independent taxation. They are on a mission to seriously reduce the number of civil servants and this sort of work is very labour-intensive.

Why doesn't the govt re-introduce tax breaks for married couples. Sorry to everyone who thinks that marriage is "out-of-date" (whatever that means) but it isn't rocket science to accept that the child is better off in a secure family unit.

Couples who co-habit can be just as strong, I know, before the arguments start, but how does the govt judge who is really living together and who isn't, unless they have a marriage certificate? (to prevent fraud)

if one of the married couple can claim both parties tax allowances it would be so much easier fro mothers (or fathers) to stay at home.

Why isn't there the financial incentive that there used to be?

Makes a lot more sense than the tax payer funding child care outside the home

People are obsessed with 'independence' but, as described by Anna, dependence is needed first.

hunkermunker - I agree with the sentiments in your link. I disagree quite profoundly with the unbridled use of the artificial mother-substitutes on the market for young babies.

I used to get a lot of funny looks and veiled and not-so-veiled comments about how difficult my daughter would find it to go to pre-school because she was so attached to me - I didn't use any childcare other than my mother for the first year, and only the very occasional babysitter thereafter, she breastfed and coslept and never encountered a cot, bottle, dummy, doudou (cuddly toy for sleeping), teething ring etc etc.

As it turns out, despite being right at the tail end of her school year group (November birth, in a school system that does an intake following the calendar year), she is one of the most self-assured, confident and happy children in her year group.

She wasn't attached to me so much as secure with me - and by the time she went to school she could talk, so that she could make her needs known to adults that she didn't know, and was secure with them.

I anticipated going back to work, but did not think I would work as much as I am. Thought DH would work more that me, but not worked out that way.

We share childcare equally and DD is in nursery 1.5 days a week. I am happy with the level of paid childcare, but would prefer to have another day at home with DD. Can't afford it.

This pretty much sums up what I think the Government should do

Make it easier for women to be mothers, not "one of a range of people who can look after the children, all equally important".

I thought I'd be a SAHM. What a bloody joke that was.
I am now considered lucky for only having to work 3 days a week.
In terms of housework etc, that's my job, I'm the wife, not Dh! Ditto the children, I see it as my job but I have no problem sharing it with him.
My Mothers generation have no idea how lucky they were IMO.

pretty much as i thought - paying far too much for nursery - tax rebates would have been useful. going to find it a nightmare when dd goes to school, wilk have to rely on au pair to manage.

it's the cost that hurts the most

i do everything i can to make everything work how i want it. i have always known how i don't want to be, and i make sure not to let things go that way. the really helpful part is having a dh who is very supportive of me. luckily he is my boss at work and has really helped me integrate raising dcs and working full time.

i think tax breaks for those using early years childcare including childminders, nurseries, nannies or whatever, as a means of returning to work, could really help more women get back to work