Anniemac - I did it before we had DS, and work circumstances meant that I had to start travelling again when DS was 6 months old, so we just got on with it. Maybe with time we'll have to have an aupair to cover things, but I'd really rather not.

We run a strict diary policy where anything that requires us to not be around at drop off/pick up time means a diary check with the other before accepting. In 2 years, we've only had one total clash, and fortunatly the inlaws covered that - otherwise we just get on with it.

I do notice that if we are away in a group at a conference that the women will all be on the phone checking up on things in their home time zone evening, chasing the teens about their homework, checking the arrangements about pickups, and doing an online grocery shop in a spare moment. The guys just go away and phone home to speak at bedtime.

Yes, and I think it leads to more productivity too. Working long hours to me shows poor time management (I only do it when I manage my time badly!) and has been shown to have safety issues, as well as burn out and contribute to low production values. I have worked with people who did ridiculous hours, and then seeing them dropping off in meetings etc.

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Nooka - thats exactly the sort of attitude that makes everyones working lives better. I notice in Sweden and Finland that there is a totally implicit attitude that you come to work, work hard in those hours and then go home to your family. I have been equally likely to hear male or female, senior or junior announce that the meeting must end at 4 as they have to pick up their children from nursery. So its not something that anyone makes a fuss about, or discriminates on the basis of.

In my previous life in insurance/financial project managing the women were routinely paid less then the men. Dh recently got his first job in the city after graduating and is paid £9K more than my starting role which is incredibly similar in company and job spec! saying that tho I got an excellent maternity package and bonus structure so i guess it does balance out. Only the managers that were of post childbirth age seemed to get a similar deal to the men.

My mum is of the generation that maintains that women can't have it all in terms of pay as it has to come from somewhere when they are on paid leave.

I work in the NHS and there are plenty of senior managers that are women on the community side, but many fewer in the acute (there should be far more as the NHS employs more moment than men). I would assume this is to do with work life balance, as hospitals are open 24/7, so it is incredibly easy to get sucked in to working crazy hours, especially like many senior managers if you are emotionally committed. I did some Improving Working Lives (a HR initiative about fostering good working environments) inspections and found that the worst group for long hours were senior operational managers, even though they often valued the concept for their teams.

I know some very admirable women who have been successful (not sure if they would count using the EHRC classifications) and they have not had the traditional family set ups, often having supportive family (behind every great woman...). Personally I have struggled to get the next job (Director level) but I don't think this has anything to do with being female, there just aren't that many jobs at this level to apply for.

I also had a very successful boss (CE by the age of 36 for a Strategic Health Authority) who told everyone on pretty much his first day that he would be leaving early twice a week to pick up his young son from nursery (and did). So I think in the right environment you can be successful and have a good work life balance. You may have to be exceptional to make it work though.

good grammar is probably a factor ... simple

I work in a university - typically fairly family-friendly, yet even there the majority of senior women either don't have children or have managed to succeed once their children are older.

I still don't think the issue is entirely about gender. Or rather it is by default. It is about having children. Yes, mostly, it is women who are responsible for children; but men who take an equal or majority share of childcare issues suffer in the same way.

And the reasons are simply IMHO. To succeed at most senior professional jobs, including academia, law, media professions, long hours are expected and it is the work 'outside the office' that often brings the most reward in my job. People with children simply do not have those extra hours, especially when they are very young.

I try to catch up on essential work in the evenings (this is why my PC is permanently on with MN in the background after 8pm) but I am typically interrupted by a crying or poorly or BF child; or they are ill and I am using evenings and weekends to catch up on the many days of ordinary work I am behind.

I sometimes think going part-time is the answer but in reality, the volume of career-building tasks that one needs to do to make Professor for example, does not decrease with a decrease in hours.

Until this can be managed in some way in these kind of professions, we have no hope of parity. Senior managers and HR depts committed to equality HAVE to address this key issue somehow.

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I moved from a capital to the provinces and found the w/l balance much much better - and my boss has 2dds just like me and is so relaxed about the sudden illnesses, pick-up crises etc. Is marvellous and I wish I'd done it years ago!