I think mums and dads need to take a more practical approach to childcare - me and my husband sat down, looked at what needed doing in our lives and divided it up. I stayed at home because my husband earned more money and we thought it would be unfair for both of us to be over an hour away from our children and put them in nursery 10 hours a day, I do the cooking all week, the cleaning, ironing etc because I'm at home. He works really long hours so it would be totally impractical for him to do it. He does all the shopping and cooks at weekends, gets the kids breakfast & dresses them before he goes to work in the morning. It's not ideal, he would like to see more of the kids and I would like some time to myself but by and large it works for us.I know alot of people have absolutely no choice but to go back to work and obviously someone has to but I don't think it matters who. Whoever is best placed to do it. I'd be interested to know what people mean when they say 'I had to go back to work full-time because we couldn't afford for me not to'.If that means you couldn't afford to put food on the table and keep a roof over your head, fair enough, if it means you can't afford to live in the big house you would like, have 2 holidays a year and drive 2 cars, maybe you should re-think your priorities. We bought a smaller house than we could have if I'd gone back to work, drive a 12 year old hand-me-down car and go on holiday once every 2 years but I truly believe my kids are better off for having one of us with them. After all kids don't ask to be born, we choose to have them and they need their parents.

It is not actual, but only what people perceive.

I know that if my husband and i both worked FT family life in our house would suffer.

We are lucky that we are both PT and juggle childcare between us and 1.5 days of nursery.

Our lives are happy and relaxed. This is what suits us and would not suit all. Friends of ours work longer and seem to cope well.

Not meaning to gloat or claim that my husband is a gift from above, BUT..... Whilst my husband goes out to work FT so do I. But whilst I cook every night, he washes up. While I bath the children, he puts them to bed. I do the clothes washing and iron the childrens clothes, he irons shirts and jeans. Don't be fooled, he didn't iron or wash up when I met him! We both realise that if we are going to be happy we need to contribute, at home and financially.

If I didn't work, we would suffer, either the mortgage would go unpaid or we would literally starve!!

I do think there is a massive presumption with the above mentioned studies on women haven professional full time jobs, what about women who just do a standard full time job? Take me for example, earning a modest wage, working FT doing admin, hardly the professional power jobs so commonly associated with working mums who go to work early and get home late.

I read this bit of the article....Kat Banyard, the campaigns officer, said: "Women still shoulder the bulk of caring and housework at home" and that to me is where a lot of the problems come down to. How can a woman work full-time AND then do all the housework? And I'm not saying this is the man's fault, if anything it is the woman's because I don't think enough women demand equality IN the home. When all tasks and work roles are shared then we might be able to move towards real equality.

I think the fact that attitudes have changed from 15 years ago to become less supportive of working mothers has a lot to do with the long hours work culture which has really taken hold since the early 90s and means that essentially many women are single parents during the week as well as working full time - in many cases it is mum who does the 5 O Clock dash home to do nursery pick up or take over from the nanny while dad doesn't get home until after bedtime.Speaking personally I found this very hard going and found it wasn't good for me on a work or home perspective and therefore by extension for the family.

No doubt in my mind, when two parents work full time there will be bad consequences; the only exception being those rich enough to employ fully trained nannies who generally know how to parent better than parents. Much as I can't believe I'm going to agree with Eton schooled Mr Cameron I think there should be an allowance for one parent staying at home, when two parents make a commitment (marriage or civil partnership) to bring up children together. When the married man's allowance was available couples sometimes stayed together through the tough first two years just because of the allowance, and then found they still loved even liked each other, after the sleep deprivation and toddler years passed.

Sorry, I dont think any comment I could make would be valid, being a lone parent and not a "family". As a lone parent I am encouraged to work full time to instil a sense of self worth and a work ethos into my children. It will also make me feel better, give me oodles of confidence and enable me to feel independant.

(Repeats, robot like).

Having no other source of income, my second choice would be to rely on benefit. (handouts). But my house would be cleaner im sure.

I guess the rules are different for one parent families

But Tinysocks, my mum worked full time (she had no choice, my dad was very ill and later died)from when I was 3.

I never felt like that about her. I was close to her and involved with her all her life, and did lots of caring for her at the end. In fact I admired her for coping as she did.

Sounds like the problem is more with the daughter than the mother.........

Yes, there has to be balance, but IME mothers who are classed as "working full time" are doing 30-35hrs ish, not the 14hr shifts for 6days a week as people expect - thats rare where I am.
In my department, one woman has an 8 year old and she does 25hrs over five days, one woman has three under three and does 35hrs over four days, a couple of us have one child under 3 and we do 35hr.
We're on flexible hours too, and I can work from home if necessary/wanted.

Elf, I agree with you, but I think it's about having the right balance.