he's not homophobic though, 2 of his best friends are gay!

Hmm kittywise ...I think that if your DP did make the 'gay' comment he's fair game for personal attacks. About his homophobia and closed-mindedness. I think that if my DH has said that I'd keep it quiet.

Oh FGS!!!

nooka, what's the point of posting that?
I don't care what reasons/excuses you make, the fact is people chose to write what they did, they chose to attack, I chose not to.
It's always choice
I made the better one imo.

The comments about your dh are entirely due to you deciding to bring his opinions (or what purport to be his opinions) to the thread. I cannot believe that you are surprised that many people have reacted to his apparent homophobia in a negative way, and made comments about him personally.

No, I think not

kittywise - I am limited in this way and so it seems are you. You're commenting on a made up name that could mean anything or as is the case - nothing.

Kitty I am not in the least offended - as you say - you don't know my Dp or anything about him other than what have stated here

But you still said
'If I had to chose another partner( which I won't) for example I would absolutely not be attracted in any way to a man like your dh. I would always go for someone who to me was more masculine.'

I could be offended by that but I know that he is 100% male and therefore am quite un-offendable on that score (wonders if that word exists...)

cestlavie the subtle difference is that I have not launched any personal attacks. If anyone choses to feel 'attacked' by a general comment I have made then the issue is with them. It cannot be personal, I don't know any of you personally.
There are comments on this thread directed at my dp, however, that are personal in the sense that they are directed at him and not 'a male'.

I just can't stay away from this thread (I should try). Actually kittywise, you should entirely expect to be attacked on here as you've insulted many people's partners (plus the guys on here) with your comments from the outset, for example.

"I can't abide a man-woman who acts like he is a woman as far a kids go, makes me want to barf." (Wasn't that your first post?)

"Men like who try to act like being women and act all empathetic are very unattractive and not at all manly." etc.

Whether you're winding people up (quite possible) or actually believe these things, they're really rather insulting. Playing the faux-innocent "Gosh, what I have said?" is rather tragic since you would have to be really quite stupid to think that people wouldn't be offended by being told that their partners are "very unattractive", "not at all manly". "make you want to barf" or are "saddos".

Equally, saying "Hey, don't take offence, just my opinion" is also a rather pitiful way of trying to escape any responsibility and is usually used by unpleasant people as their defence, e.g. "Women should stay in the kitchen where they belong, but hey, that's just my opinion, don't take offence" If you want dish out antagonistic views (believing them or not) you should expect some back.

And quite frankly, if you're happy to post "DP has just had a quick look through this thread, he had a good laugh then has now wandered off... whilst muttering something about 'gays'" then you should expect your DP to get every bit of flak that comment merits, whether he said it in jest or not (sadly I fear the latter).