done

Done!

done - some of the answers had to be best of a bad bunch though as they just weren't quite appliable.

Done. There needs to be a question about how many hours are worked by any part-time employed parent and what % of their earnings go on childcare. In our case around 80%.

Done

Hi all

Thanks so much to everyone who has taken time to complete the survey - apologies to those who found it a little long, we started with 10 questions and it just kept growing Despite the length we've obviously made some omissions and inevitably missed some things out that some of you would rather have in. Thanks for the feedback on this - it's always useful - though we obviously can't change the questions now. You can though start a thread in the Home front section if you feel there's an area that we've either missed out, or fudged in some way - that's what this area of Talk is for.

As for some of the direct queries (constructive criticism we prefer to call it ):

As Ann said if there's a question you'd rather not answer eg income range feel free to miss it out.

On the self-employment side, we do say at the beginning of that section
"For the next section by employment we include self-employment" so hopefully that should cover you - though again if this is an area that you feel warrants more discussion, it would make a great new thread.

For Rafi - we tried to make sure that the questions were applicable to same sex partnerships, but how much leave fathers took as opposed to mothers after birth was one of the areas the EHRC were particularly keen to find out, and we thought if we included same sex partners in this question the results might be skewed. We would though be interested to know how maternity/paternity leave works in practice so please feel free to start a thread about this in this section as again it might help the EHRC shape their policy suggestions.

We tried hard to make the survey as inclusive as possible, but as this particular part of the debate is about how parents share the load, it is directed at those who have a partner - that's why there's no box for no partner as we say in the intro it's for folks with a partner. The overall debate however - despite the title - is about how all parents make life work and we'd love to hear the views of single parents too. We've started a thread here so hope you'll add your views

Best

MNHQ

dq been looking out for you on here - how's things?

done blimey it made me realise how much i do all the kid's stuff on my own

done but some answered not exactly to my surcumstances but to the closest that there was to choose from.

Custy.. I did the same with argument-causes..think how dull it would be if you only ever argued about the same old thing...

similar to funnypeculiar - my problem with the survey is it assumes you need to improve your working conditions. I work full time - DP is SAHD, but it works because my employer is very family freindly and flexible and he cares that house is clean; if I was stay at home nothing would get done.

Done

I found the 'would you take a pay cut one' tricky, as I've already done that - went freelance, halved my hours, took a pay cut of about 50%.
Suspect that's not atypical. I wasn't sure whether to answer retrospectively, so yes, answer no, not another one, or answer for dh...

done

Done

done, altho why I do not know as now feel bllody put out at all I do do...if that makes sense

stll, I may break the habit of a life time and actually win somehting!!!

yeah, right, me win, pffff

14. Which of the following (if any) do you and your partner mostly argue about? Please choose up to two.
Money
Sex
Domestic issues e.g. chores, tidying up
Childcare - who looks after the children
In-laws and other family
Parenting styles - how you look after the children
Social life/ lack of social life
Working hours/ not working or working for too long
Nothing, we never/ rarely argue

( i chose 7 responses as i didn't read properly }

what if you don't have a partner??? I do everything becasue I am a lone parent, not because xdh is a slacker!

We're a lesbian couple, but the parental leave questions only cover Mum & Dad?

As a single parent should I fill in as myself on a good day and my alter ego on a bad one? Surely I'm entitled to an opinion and balanced life.

done

The survey will not really capture the true picture of peoples complex and ever shifting lives. Agree with poster below who said that income is irrelevant it's more about the cost of living. If I still lived in London we would much higher income but less spending money as our mortgage was double what it is now.

Hi these are all really useful comments. If there are things that you want to say that aren't covered by the survey please do post them on this thread (or start a new one).

All the discussions, not just the survey results will be used for the report that Mumsnet and Dad Info will be producing at the end of this project.

I'm working with Mumsnet and Dad Info on the Home Front project and will be pulling together the final report in case you are wondering who I am.

Stymied by first question! Where is Oxford? It's not south east because that makes it sound like I'm in essex or kent or somewhere miles away. it's not south west because that makes it sound like I'm in Bristol or somerset. It's not west midlands because that's the county surrounding Birmingham. It's south central or thames valley, but there's no option for that!

Agree with all comments about what about self employed working. Dh is self employed. This offers some flexibility but also some constraints. And about whether there is an assumption of "9-5, mon to fri" as being the only version of full time.

Also, the bit about who covers childcare if ds is ill...take it in turns is too formal and set in stone, what about the much more likely " who ever doesn't have a mege-deadline/important meeting/etc/etc"

it doesn't cover what you do when your children are ill with the answer being doesn't matter, we work back to back.

I was also depressed that I couldn't take part because I no longer have a partner

Does this mean that the views of single parents are not valid....or will there be a similar survay for simgle parents in the not too distant future?

done, was longer than i thought, doesnt really cover our circumstances thou.

It is mainly a survey about the division of domestic and paid labour between a couple though. Maybe it should have been titled differently. It's not about work-life balance in general.

I think it should have asked if people had already taken a pay cut to work flexibly, it's easy to say that you'd like to but in practice probably less common.

Bizarrely it also assumes we all have a partner - no box for "no partner"

Oh dear - that made me feel a bit depressed. Realise exactly how much I do! Would like dh to fill it in now

done

done.

Although it may read a bit odd, as some of the questions were about now and some were about when we had our last child.

We have changed our employment status within that time, so the answers don't necessarily match each other.

So this survey is only for those who have a partner then?

agree with some of the comments on here. No mention of self employed/freelance/own business - which for many mums with small children is a) the reality or b) the ideal. Don't these questionnaire writers know this? It's hardly a secret, read a paper/magazine!

Also found the "how much of a paydrop would you take to work flexibly"? Isn't the point what % of your salary / household income do you/would you pay in childcare? Working flexibly, if it can reduce the childcare bill may leave you better off even if you agree to a pay drop. And anyway, why SHOULD you take a pay drop to work flexibly unless your workload is reduced/job changed. Badly worded question which is going to give misleading answers without a comments box IMO!

anyway, can you tell i used to be a researcher? I'll go away now.

Had to laugh at DC never wake in the night

done

done
xx ei xx

yeah i found it too long too - especially as it indicated that it was just a few minutes in the e-mail i received it in.
how about questions on how hard is it to get your bosses to arrange flexi working or job share or part-time, or how hard it is to find childcare? or how expensive it is?
if i don't work i can't afford to pay the bills - if i work it pushes mine and oh's income over the threshold and we don't get any help. i earn £7. an hour and i earn £6. if i didn't work the majority of time opposite my oh it would not be feasable at all.
i just found most of the survey out of touch with many of the real issues. it doesn't matter how much you earn if your cost of living is high - mortgage etc then dropping down to smp (or nothing once your smp is over) is hard because its these people that have worked and earn money that don't get the help. I am not saying that other people shouldn't get the help that they do but that all people should get more help to have time with their babies/children and not be made to feel like they have to go back to work.

I was going to fill it in but fell at the 1st hurdle. Obviously this is one of those MN surveys - the ones for exclusive UK membership [picks up foreign bat and ball and goes home]

done but had tomake some of it up as it does not offer anything for own business

It doesn't list my ideal employment which is self employment/working from home.

Message withdrawn

Done

Done.

Well, I've done it, but I don't think it gives a particularly good idea of how we live, as the one thing that it misses out (in the later questions at least) is paid work at home. DH and I are both freelancers, both at home. I'm not doing that much work at the moment, but his being around makes a huge difference to how easy my life is.

Thanks. Thought I was going mad!

tick

notwavingjustironing - this survey has been 'live' for a few days so yes it is.

themildmanneredjanitor - feel free to leave any questions you'd rather not answer blank!

spicemonster - there are (and are going to be) many discussion threads you can join in with instead!

Ann

Do I have to post on here to say I have done it?
well I have

well,after answering that I now know that life is a bed of roses

You don't want my opinion because I'm a single parent

sob

Crikey!

Didn't realise how lazy I was and how much DP does until I answered those questions.

MUST try and be nicer to him

no-not filling in anything that wants to know my income. why would you need that info?
you can know how we bablance life without knowing personal stuff like that.

I've done it too`!!!

done

now done I never win anything though!!!

done.

Haven't we already done this one? The first 14 or so questions look exactly like the other Home Front one I did a couple of days ago.

We'd love to hear how you make your life work.

It should only take you five minutes to fill it in - and everyone who does will be entered into a really rather nice prize draw.

You can find the link to the survey on the Home page (where there's loads more info about Home Front).

Or you can just click here