the brilliant things about home education.

(125 Posts)
LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 17:54:08

Ill start!

world book week. other threads on other sites on mn panicking/moaning about the dressup things for going into school. Phew! no more of that faff.

no more being called in cos DCs had a meltdown yet again (sn).

the dreaded schoolrun/parking/school gate mums.

being 'persuaded' to fork out your non existant cash to pay for trips/food/workshops etc etc.

bloody sports day.

assemblies and xmas plays which would all freak DC out.

being able to go places while all the other kids are at school so museums/parks/playplaces/libraries etc are not choc a block with noisy screaming sweaty kids.

ah, bliss.

anyone else? anything else?

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 17:55:34

sorry forgot about the actual education!!!!

the peace and quiet DC can concentrate and take her time as she struggles, and not being forced to do the same as everyone else.
she can do more in a n hour than a whole week at school.

happyyonisleepyyoni Thu 06-Mar-14 19:07:39

So you home ed because you can't be bothered to do the school run or other things that would be hassle for you, and your kids' education is an afterthought.

Lucky them.

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 19:27:41

ermm. no.

We got nothing but hassle from school when DC was there, especially hassle for HER.

plus, maybe should have made myself clear even though was not expecting such a rude reply, that she cant cope in a school envioronment, never has and if Id have known I could HE id have done it since the beginning.

FWIW IM a qualified teacher.

thanks for that.
was actually going to START with the education side but started this thread after reading the woes from the book week stuff.

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 19:31:54

and yes, DCs perfectly happy, maybe you should read the post properly.

lunar1 Thu 06-Mar-14 19:32:42

So you think other peoples children are noisy, screaming and sweaty? That may apply to your children but doesn't to mine. Will you per passing on your negativity about others to your children during your HE.

Sparklysilversequins Thu 06-Mar-14 19:34:40

That's not what she said at all happy hmm. Not sure why you posted as the title clearly requests positive responses.

Unfortunately I have one dc in school and one HE (he has autism and was totally unable to function in MS education) so we don't get a lot of the advantages.

The ones we do have:-

No crowds when we go on trips, it's pretty great wandering round museums and galleries when they're practically empty.

Going to the cinema during the day together to see the superhero movies that we both love but dd loathes!

The chance to do sports and activities that we wouldn't otherwise be able to do because he wouldn't cope with loads of other kids there.

Seeing the shock on the faces of professionals who were involved with him at school when they see how is thriving and being the happy articulate boy he could never be at school.

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 19:36:42

Thanks sparkly that's exactly what this threads about!

and especially what you said about the last bit. exactly.

Seeing the shock on the faces of professionals who were involved with him at school when they see how is thriving and being the happy articulate boy he could never be at school.

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 19:37:39

and maybe I should have been clear that DCs disabled and has severe learning difficulties and social problems!

VikingLady Thu 06-Mar-14 19:42:20

You can spend more time with your kids!

No (or less if they go to groups) bullying

Gove is irrelevant!

Mrswellyboot Thu 06-Mar-14 19:44:35

Good for you that your child is doing so well flowers

I am a teacher and see the difficulties some children with SN face. It is a pity your child wasnt supported in school but he is lucky to have a qualified teacher as his parent. Good luck to you

EauRouge Thu 06-Mar-14 19:46:33

No one's mentioned the cheap holidays yet? shock

LetZygonsbeZygons Thu 06-Mar-14 19:49:48

Mrswell thanks. and to the others doing well.

yes, all in post are also the judgy looks and comments about DC as she cant control her meltdowns. not other kids faults of course, she couldn't cope in the envioronment. Infant school wasn't so bad as there were fewer people there but juniors was a nightmare.

and now her meltdowns are few and far between.

bobbysgirlfirst Thu 06-Mar-14 20:58:21

Watching the sparkle return to your child's eyes and the skip in his step.
Watching them regain a love of learning.
Watching the return of self confidence and self belief.
Watching as they achieve far FAR beyond what was predicted of them in school.
Watching them run round fields all over the country, at gatherings with their friends in the sunshine.

and cheap sports activities and holidays!

ommmward Thu 06-Mar-14 22:38:01

When some other little girls go all queen bee/wannabe around age 9 or 10, we can just quietly phase out the friendship without the non-queen bee child (mine) really sussing out the nature of the rejection that is going on, and replace it with more take-you-aS-I-find-you people. In school it would be a daily explicit rejection that could not be escaped until the end of primary, if then.

There really is nowhere else, apart from the army or prison, where you can find yourself totally locked into a toxic relationship like that.

TinkerbellTrains Thu 06-Mar-14 23:01:37

An education tailored to MY child that I know he enjoys and thrives on.

The 1-1 teaching he gets which mean he completes in 20mins what would take a couple of hours (if not longer) in school. It also means less time on formal lessons and more time to play, be outdoors and just be.

Being able to walk around the zoo, museum, aquarium, play at the park/beach when it's practically empty.

Ds can wear his pink shoes & tinkebell costume and build his fairy house without worrying about what other kids might say to him. He can be himself.

The time. Not having to fit our lives around school. If we fancy dropping lessons for the day and heading off for the beach, we can.

Not having to sit at a desk. He pretty well with our formal lessons in the mornings but that's because he knows he only has to do a minimum of 20mins (per subject) and that we are free to do what we like in the afternoons. He would not cope well being made to sit in a classroom all day with limited breaks.

Socialisation. He loves being out and about and socialising with all ages, all backgrounds, all professions.

And yes, cheap holidays.

stilllearnin Fri 07-Mar-14 12:47:22

Tinkerbell I love that your ds can dress as he likes and build his fairy house - how free!

PieceOfPaper Fri 07-Mar-14 14:31:15

I don't often post, but having read through the other thread I'd like to join in with this and maybe encourage those who are new to HE, or who are considering it. (I'm not interested in getting into a debate, which is why I've posted here and not on the other thread, and why the things I'm posting here are deliberately pro- HE rather than anti-school.)

For me, the brilliant things about HE (or some of them!) are -

Being able to go at my children's own pace. We race through work that they find easy, take a break from things that they find difficult (and so far, they've always come back with more enthusiasm and have found a previously difficult bit much easier) and can take the time to focus on things that just need a bit more attention.

Being able to follow my children's interests, and learning things about topics that I'd never come across before.

Flexibility - being able to go for a walk, or to the park, when the weather is good, and being able to travel and see family and friends whether or not it's a school day. If we need a break then we can take one, and if we're interested in something then we can keep going, regardless of term times.

Giving my children plenty of time to play and be creative, alone, as siblings and with friends.

Being able to nurture and guide my children in all aspects of their lives, helping me to judge when they're ready for more responsibility and independence, and when they need more support and guidance.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 07-Mar-14 16:35:17

Seeing them becoming more confident
Having freedom to do what you like when you like
Holidays in term time
Your own curriculum or not.
No 9 -3
Ability to pursue their career without restrictions
Gove is irrelevant grin
Teachers are irrelevant.
Schools are buildings where other peoples children visit daily.

Oh the list is endless.
Can you see we are loving H.ed?

LetZygonsbeZygons Fri 07-Mar-14 17:19:36

Not having to sit at a desk. He pretty well with our formal lessons in the mornings but that's because he knows he only has to do a minimum of 20mins (per subject) and that we are free to do what we like in the afternoons. He would not cope well being made to sit in a classroom all day with limited breaks.

My DCs got her school desk and has her limited time too. and exactly what you said too in afternoons.


Wineoclocksomewhere Fri 07-Mar-14 17:35:23

Tinkerbell I love the sentiment re your DS and his dressing up but it makes me sad and angry in almost equal measures that this isn't encouraged more in schools (and in the world at large) themselves.

I really hate the fact that children can't be children, but are forced to be 'boys' and 'girls' with all of the stereotyping and subtle sexism and misogyny that goes with this.....

(Not wanting to derail the thread, just wanted to throw this in!)

LetZygonsbeZygons Fri 07-Mar-14 18:48:11

Not derailing at all, glad threads got back on trackafter initial misunderstandings!

catnipkitty Fri 07-Mar-14 18:53:59

Today my girls were reading most of the day in the garden in the sunshine. They have been reading about things they are interested in - sharks...Vikings...horses - not what someone thinks they should be learning about. They are still in the garden n the dark looking at the stars, full of energy smiling and laughing together. What a difference to the children I used to bring home from school who were wasted by Friday evenings and hardly had the energy to talk to me and could only fight with eachother.

LetZygonsbeZygons Fri 07-Mar-14 19:06:20

Took DC this morning to a coffee place, our Friday treat thing, she has a hot choc and a cookie and me my cappuccino, and we discuss the ways of the world, she loves it, feels grown up and a woman of the world, then I was teaching her social skills (being autistic its difficult for her) by handing the cash to the cashier, waiting for change, saying thank you, etc etc.

then sat in park while working on a project book and she could have a runabout too. bliss.

a happy calm child and a not harassed mum!

morethanpotatoprints Fri 07-Mar-14 20:15:59

Ah, that sounds lovely and so chilled for your dd, I'm really happy for you.
It must be a lot easier than having to manage a situation at school that just wasn't working for you.

We didn't have any issues with school at all and dd was happy and doing well. The decision to H. ed was a really difficult one but now she is thriving and all her needs can be met which is the most important thing.

streakybacon Sat 08-Mar-14 08:10:07

All of the above plus this which I posted on Thursday.

As well as his countless personal development successes, I have a happy and fulfilled teenager who is reaching his academic potential, despite school having dumped him on the scrap heap at age 9.

TinkerbellTrains Sat 08-Mar-14 10:12:06

Massive congratulations to your son streaky Just read your other thread. That there is definitely a positive for HE. flowers

wineoclock my feelings exactly. I make a big point of not having "girls" things & "boys" things in this house. They are just "childrens things". Thankfully ds1 is a pretty confident child now, so on recent occasions when another child has commented on his pink shoes or princess headband he just replies with "no, they are just childrens shoes" or "well, I like them"

I don't want him to lose the confidence to be who he wants to be and wear/play with what he wants to but let's face it, going to school will more than likely do exactly that.

MavisG Sat 08-Mar-14 11:55:12

Not wasting my son's time. He learns what he wants to, is thriving and rarely bored.

Being together as a family more - we get the best bits of the day.

Ds is 5 & needs 1-2 days in the week to be fairly quiet & home-based.

Watching him learn, and his utter joy as he does. (We are autonomous he-ers & I am amazed that he is writing now. Would totally have credited school for it were he there. All we've done is live and be literate, but that's been enough. I read about this but I guess I never really believed it could happen, so easily, so naturally, with so little input. He is starting to read, too.)

Martorana Sat 08-Mar-14 12:04:39

From my memories- always being able to finish what I wanted to finish, not having to stop and start something else when the bell went. Being able to decide to not do any school work that day and make the most of a sunny day.

LucyBucy Sat 08-Mar-14 12:10:01

Absolute freedom to follow our own interests, where we want when we want; no politicians telling us what we SHOULD be learning; kids learning at their ownpace with no comparisons to others; seeing happy faces rather than "too tired and grumpy to do anything" faces!

Martorana Sat 08-Mar-14 12:17:29

From my memories- always being able to finish what I wanted to finish, not having to stop and start something else when the bell went. Being able to decide to not do any school work that day and make the most of a sunny day.

LetZygonsbeZygons Sat 08-Mar-14 17:18:34

That's great streaky.

sallyaa Sat 08-Mar-14 22:01:30

Being able to learn in the way that suits him - L used to really struggle with sitting still during lessons at school, but now that he can wriggle around, stand up and walk about, and write on the whiteboard or type on the PC, he's learning so much faster and enjoying it lots more!

If he is finding something tricky we can go over it a bit more slowly, or whizz through the things that he finds easy without having to wait for others to catch up.

My only regret is that we didn't do this years ago (bet you've heard that before...)

streakybacon Sun 09-Mar-14 06:49:56

Now that ds is older (15), I love that we can do late-evening things and not have to worry about being up early for school the next day. We go to stand up comedy, lectures, music and theatre and have a lie in the following day if we need to. We wouldn't be able to do that if he was in school.

I love that holidays are cheaper because we can go away any time we like grin.

I love that he has time for more person-building activities like volunteering, Duke of Edinburgh, work experience etc. For ds with his additional needs, these are equally as important (in some respects more so) than academic achievement. We've got a good balance because WE decide what's necessary for him, not the authorities.

TimeIsAnIllusion Sun 09-Mar-14 07:09:45

I have been reading this thread with great interest as I have 3 children of differing ages (one in infant school, one top juniors, and the other in early secondary school).
I do wonder about HE a lot. It's something I fantasise about doing! How would someone who isn't a qualified teacher deal with educating 3 small people of varying ages?
How would I deal with the education authority who would no doubt be unhappy and unsupportive to my decision to withdraw my children from formal education?
What does one do for resources? Is it possible to home educate on virtually zero money?
All of my children are unhappy at school to varying degrees. I do not feel school is providing them with an environment in which they are happy, never mind happy to learn.

TimeIsAnIllusion Sun 09-Mar-14 07:35:24

Streakybacon is your 15y old going to take gcse's? If so - how is this achieved outside of the school system please?
HE does seem brilliant indeed and I think with a bit more information our family could reconsider this idea...
So is it so big and scary as it seems to leave the "normal" education system and HE? <sorry for side tracking - maybe I need to start a new thread of my own to ask these things!>grin

Martorana Sun 09-Mar-14 07:54:23

Time, yes you can. And in my experience, LEAs are either neutral or helpful. Mostly neutral- not a good idea to expect actual help and support- you need to find that in other places, but you will be very unlucky indeed if they are actively unhelpful.

There are loads of free and virtually free resources- and there are libraries, and charity shops full of books!

Can I suggest that your first step is to find out about HE groups in your area? And things like sports and other clubs for the appropriate age groups. Is there an active and good (they vary a lot) beaver/cub/scout troop? (One of the cheapest ways to provide outside the home activities and sociability) Do your research. Unless your children are a crisis point in school, take your time and plan.

Think about why your children are unhappy at school- is there anything you can do about it? Is it the particular schools? Or are they just not "school shaped"?

Think about the bits they do like (if any) and how can you make sure they still get those bits. Sometimes this is where money rears its ugly head- my ds for example, plays in every team going at school - even if I could find the same for him in a HE environment it would cost an absolute fortune in club subscriptions and petrol. Ditto my dd with music and drama, and <shudder> her social life!

If any of your children have any additional needs, think about the cost of assessments and statements and additional resources. These are often incredibly hard to access thought the LEA but they are there- if you are HE there is a lot you would have to pay for yourself.

Think about yourself. Is this something you will be happy to do for the foreseeable future? How would you feel about very little time for yourself, particularly with small children. Who would support you? What if your circumstances changed and you had to go to work?

And once you have done all this and you have decided it's something you can do and want to do, talk to the children. Remembering that you can always give it a try, and go back to school if it doesn't work for them. (Oh, another thing to research- would you get school places later if you did decide to go back?)

It's a fantastic, wonderful and eye opening thing to HE. But it's not easy!

streakybacon Sun 09-Mar-14 08:06:35

Time He takes exams as an external candidate at a local school. You can find schools willing to do this from the exam board's website. He's done four IGCSEs so far, two more this summer and three next year.

Nothing is impossible, you just have to think creatively and do a bit of research into what's available. Most of the perceived obstacles have solutions - you just have to find them grin.

streakybacon Sun 09-Mar-14 08:10:00

In response to Martorana - anyone whose child has additional needs can request statutory assessment from their LA and it won't cost anything. My son got his statement last July after five years out of school. It's about asking the right questions of the right people.

As far as resources for SN, there's not much around these days even if your child IS in school, so it may not make much difference if you HE. Most of the service provision should be available via NHS anyway (SALT, OT) and under the new EHC plans LAs have a responsibility towards children with SNs.

Martorana Sun 09-Mar-14 08:16:47

I'm sorry if I got that wrong, Time. Streaky- does that apply in all LEAs?

streakybacon Sun 09-Mar-14 08:33:41

It should do. They may insist that it doesn't but you just have to remind them otherwise wink. This was told to me by our Director of Learning so he should know smile.

As far as assessments for diagnosis of SNs (eg ASD, ADHD etc) you might even find the process easier if your child isn't in school, as was the case for us. Ds was knocked back twice for ADHD dx whilst in school because they kept fibbing about the extent of difficulty he had in their care. If your child is in school, assessment will always include their input. if they're not, then education report comes from elsewhere or more validity will be given to parents' contribution. My son would never have got his ADHD dx if he'd stayed in school, and since you can't prescribe medication without dx, he'd still be struggling without it.

ToffeeWhirl Sun 09-Mar-14 08:55:39

Just wondering why people feel the need to be so rude to home educators confused? Those first two comments were so unnecessary.

I home educated DS1 when he couldn't cope with secondary school (SNs). This meant I could tailor the education to him and be as flexible as he needed me to be. We had some very happy times together and he was able to rebuild his confidence.

Am doing part-time home ed now after he tried to go back to secondary, but still couldn't cope. He now does online learning, which I supervise.

<waves to morethan>

Martorana Sun 09-Mar-14 09:34:23

"People" don't feel the need to be rude to home educators- a couple of people do. In the same way that a couple of home educators feel the need to be rude to people who use schools. Ignore them and carry on the conversation with the overwhelming majority!

ToffeeWhirl Sun 09-Mar-14 12:40:01

Ok, well, "some people" then. That was what I was implying. I thought my inference was obvious hmm.

Martorana Sun 09-Mar-14 12:46:28

Why the hmm toffee? All I was suggesting is that we ignore the rude people and move on!

ToffeeWhirl Sun 09-Mar-14 12:52:28

Oh, sorry, Martorana. Thought you were having dig at me. I read it wrong.

ToffeeWhirl Sun 09-Mar-14 12:52:44

having a dig at me

morethanpotatoprints Sun 09-Mar-14 13:16:17

Hello Toffee, nice to hear you. Hope all is going well for you and your family.
I often think about our first threads on here, there were several of us starting out together and we were such support for each other.
just like it should be.

It was a bit scary for us, but everybody's situation is different. We were a bit scared as we were taking dd out of a situation where she was happy and the school fitted her well. In fact there was no problem at all, apart from she needed more time to pursue her interests.
This is our second year and we've had our ups and downs, mainly ups. I remain convinced we did the right thing and dd is thriving, in fact I'm off to a concert soon. There is no way she could have done this if still attending school.
My advice would be to look at the reasons you wish to H.ed, look how things would be better, look at any negatives you may think about. Do lots of research and obviously speak to your dc. In the end we left the final decision to dd after a few months of her mulling it over and asking questions.
I am happy for you to pm me anytime and of course ask questions on the H.ed pages too. There is also a fb group you can join too where people are only happy to help and share their experiences.

Well, have to go now but will check in later tonight. x

TimeIsAnIllusion Sun 09-Mar-14 17:10:59

Thank you StreakyBacon, Martorana and Morethanpotatoeprints for your extremely helpful replies! gringringrin
I'm thinking and considering all the points you've made. I will look up local groups and find the fb page too.

LetZygonsbeZygons Sun 09-Mar-14 17:25:59

Toffee I nearly reported 'some' posters , was nasty.but then the thread went the way it was supposed to go! maybe they misinterpreted my op.

mine wont be taking sats or gcses or whatever theyre called these days as she has special needs and learning difficulties, so we carry on the way we do.

ToffeeWhirl Sun 09-Mar-14 18:08:02

LetZygon - I'm not surprised - those posters were so judgemental and rude. It was out of order, I thought, to imply you were lazy and critical of other people's children. I'm glad you had friendlier answers after them and I'm glad home education is working out so well for you and your DD smile.

morethan - yes, that support thread was such a help to me in the early days. It is so scary starting out in home education and it made me feel less alone. It's lovely to hear that your DD is thriving and doing so well in her music.

Martorana Sun 09-Mar-14 18:22:38

It's funny, LetZygons, but some of the things on your list are some of the reasons I choose school!

fuzzpig Sun 09-Mar-14 18:32:17

Lovely thread. Like Time we are not HEing, but it is still very much a possibility. DCs are doing well at a truly wonderful little infant school so not an issue at the moment, but in September DD will be starting at a junior school which I am not entirely convinced by (it's the only option for various reasons - so as our second choice on the choices from we actually chose HE) - it's HUGE, has been slated by OFSTED and thanks to friends with older DCs I am aware of a bullying problem. There is a new HT though so maybe it'll get better. And we may be moving area in the next year or two. But basically, HE is very much a possibility at least in the short term.

So I wonder if you'll allow me a little daydreaming? grin

The (as yet hypothetical) benefits are IMO:

A quieter life. DD is anxious (gets that from me, sorry DD sad) and tends to be happier when there's less going on.

More time to run off the mind boggling energy my DCs have (which they most certainly do NOT get from me!), spending time outdoors with nature. They love their weekend wildlife walks.

Time to pursue all the extra curricular stuff they'd like, but are currently not able to do because school takes up such a huge amount of time.

Less exposure to bullying, peer pressure and stereotyping, and therefore more freedom to be themselves and keep their own (relatively quirky) interests.

More time for subjects they need help with - and without the unavoidable comparison with classmates there would be less impact on self esteem.

More time to get totally engrossed in topics that spark their interest and no need to stick with stuff that doesn't.

More time (and yes, more money as it's cheaper in term time!) to really follow their interests as far as we could - we are planning to go to Belfast for the Titanic stuff and Amsterdam for Van Gogh in the next couple of years but it'd be so much easier if we could just go whenever!

More day trips. Weekends are usually needed for unwinding from school (it's socially and mentally tiring for them even if not so much physically) so don't do much gadding about. Not being at school would enable us to do much more!

Much more opportunities for more practical learning that can't always be done in a full classroom - experiments, building, cooking etc.

Opportunities for self initiated projects that can be as ambitious and time consuming as they want.

Sorry for the epic waffle. Writing it all down makes me tempted to just take them out now TBH!

I really wish I had been homeschooled. sad

I was at a school for the blind for six years and at mainstream for 6. During my last year of school, I loved being alone in the resource room at the mainstream school. I had very high grades that year but no real friends and I was left out of everything. Then, I was told I couldn't stay in the resource room alone because the "professionals" wanted me to make friends and be in class...

morethanpotatoprints Sun 09-Mar-14 20:47:07

As promised, I am back.
I knew there would be positive to report.
I cried, dd came out with all the rest of the children and sang her heart out, they all did.
The thought of her missing out on something like this that makes her so happy, is heart breaking. Where we live there is no way she would make the weekly rehearsals, if attending school. It really is a chance of a life time and this is just one of the benefits.
She went to bed exhausted tonight and said she is so glad she can get up when she likes tomorrow, that she can practice for as long as she likes and there is nobody to tell her she has to stop to do Maths.
She does try this on as she knows very well I will make her do Maths and English grin
I very proud and happy mum a very privileged and happy dd.

Saracen Sun 09-Mar-14 22:18:18

Children can follow their own trajectory without being conscious of how they compare to other children of their age, or having impossible demands placed on them.

My younger daughter seems to be on the verge of learning to read. She has recognised a few words out of context recently, she sometimes sounds out short words, and she keeps asking, "what does that say? what does it say if you read it backwards? what does it say if you read it upside down? what does it say if you read it backwards and leave out the letter 's'?", LOL. She draws all manner of fierce monsters with squiggly "words" coming out of their mouths.

She's enthralled, and very pleased with herself. It is a delight to see. I'm very happy for her. She has never doubted that she'd learn to read and write, or believed that there was anything wrong with her because she hadn't done it yet.

If she'd been at school, what would this moment mean? It would mean this: "After three and a half years of frustration and tears and hard slog she is finally getting it. The hundreds of hours of extra intervention at school and daily practice at home have paid off at last. She'd never have got here without it. And now she is only three years 'behind', so maybe with some more hard work she could one day 'catch up'." Where's the joy in that?

HereIsMee Sun 09-Mar-14 22:41:33

My DS has gone on to FE now. One of the best things at present at is that every now and the we stop and reminisce about those years. I can't believe we did that.

During the time we HE'd I think it was watching him grow in confidence again. He's always been a determined person so it was also great to watch him follow his own path. At the point of deciding to go on to FE I felt worried but he made his choice and did what he wanted regardless of what I thought.

It was also good that I could choose to have him assessed in a benefitial way for his overall progress rather than just to fight for the right provision.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 09-Mar-14 22:54:52

Saracen thanks

How wonderful, I'm so happy for your daughter.
You have put into words the awful experience many children have at school with comparisons. You have shown how it is not important in the long term and shared this. I hope it benefits many other parents who are experiencing this with their children.

I get so much joy reading the many posts that show the huge benefits of H.ed and HereIsMee I'm so pleased for your ds, you gave him the chance to be himself, I bet you are very proud of him.

streakybacon Mon 10-Mar-14 06:34:27

Lovely stories smile.
HE is so wonderful for our 'outside-the-box' children.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 06:48:13

OP none of these things you listed are "brilliant things about home education" - they are basically just an attack on school.

Saracen Mon 10-Mar-14 08:15:45

Well, it's a challenge, twelve, because home education means not sending children to school. Parents of children who go to school sometimes feel that their children "have it all", because there is nothing home educated kids do that schoolchildren can't and don't do during the times they aren't at school. It's true that there really is nothing that HE kids do which schoolchildren can't sometimes do.

So the distinguishing characteristic of home education is simply that children don't go to school. Clearly if we believe that not going to school benefits our children, we also believe that school would be a negative thing for them.

Some of us can and often do bend over backwards to attempt to express this in positive terms rather than negative terms, to try to spare the feelings of people who don't like to see the institution of school criticised. I usually say, "home education is a very efficient way to learn" instead of "school wastes a great deal of children's time". I say, "home education is flexible" instead of "school is rigid". But I don't know that there is really a meaningful distinction, and anyway I don't see that we should have to do this, especially in a thread on the home education board.

Many families who are home educating, including the OP if I remember right, have had a truly horrific time at school. In the vast majority of cases, parents finally remove their children from school only after a considerable amount of suffering. For them to want to celebrate being free of that is completely understandable. If it offends you, perhaps this isn't the right board to be reading.

Martorana Mon 10-Mar-14 08:56:39

As I said earlier, many of the reasons listed in the OP are reasons that I chose school for my children rather than HE! I think one of the problems with threads like this is that many of the most vocal (not the right word really, but I can't think of a better one) HEers on here are the parents of children with additional needs. Those of us not in that position can't really have any idea what school can be like for their children- although sadly, many threads on Mumsnet illustrate how little understanding other parents their peers -and sadly even some teachers - can have for them. I can only imagine the relief of removing a child from an environment that feels hostile and threatening and letting them relax into a path that's right for them.

I think the problems start happening when people start extrapolating from the particular to the general. I happen to have children who are "school shaped". What I find difficult sometimes is when HEers, both on here and in real life refuse to acknowledge that such children exist. That HE is innately superior and children are automatically damaged by school. When people start using terms like "sausage machine" "sheep" following the herd" "clipping their wings" "education fodder" and many more and worse-is when those of us who choose schools sometimes get a bit heated.

And yes I know that people are ignorant and offensive about HE too- it's just that sometimes it feels as if suggesting that HE is not always perfect, not always for every parent, not always for every child and not always as easy as falling off a log puts you automatically into that ignorant and offensive category. Which is a shame. Because then the conversation gets stressful and brittle, rather than interesting and informative.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 17:28:28


I do see your point and there are problems from both sides.
Personally, not talking about you here, but I object when people put words into your mouth and twist what you are saying.
I also think that assumptions are made about H.ed that no matter how many times you state it isn't like that for you or the majority of people you know, the person comes back with well what about x.
Some people just aren't willing to see its a good choice for you.

We had all 3 dc at school, 2 of them completed school, one has taken a break for a few years and the other I wished I'd H.ed from the start. Unfortunately, I had no idea it existed when ds2 was little. If ever there was a child in need of a home education it was him. I wish to this day it had been possible.

Martorana Mon 10-Mar-14 17:39:03

So am I misunderstanding you when I think you are suggesting that schooled children are un/non thinking drones who will be suited to office work? While HE children aren't ?

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 17:54:22


I think it is true in our case. I'm not sure I'm able to speak on behalf of others.
I do like the fact that dd is able to study the topics she chooses rather than just the N.C, that she can choose what time she wishes to do this, how long she wants to do something for, and most importantly can go as in-depth as she likes.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 17:56:38

Come on Martorana

Your a closet wannabe H.edder aren't you? You must be as you have so much to say on the subject.

Martorana Mon 10-Mar-14 19:40:01

<sounds of rapid back-pedalling, eh, morethan?grin

No, I am not a wannabe home educator- I have a lot to say because I know a lot about home education from several different perspectives. And I chose school education for my children and I do not regret it at all-even though it is far from perfect.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 19:45:17

Anyway getting back to the OP, sorry to be part of the derailment Zygon

Today was a prime example of the benefit.

DD got up quite late for her, 9.30am. I was a bit shock as she is usually an early riser. She had a busy day yesterday and was flat out this morning.

So today, we took advantage of nice weather, had picnic in the park, fed the ducks and played with her ball.
Some college students came in and started talking to us about dd not being in school etc, she had her sketch pad with her and the art students gave her some tips on her sketching.
They promised to help again if they could borrow her football some lunch times.
So that's ad hoc art classes taken care of.
The same happened with sports students last year, she got some free sports tuition for a few weeks. grin
I think its lovely that young people are so nice, helpful, and just happy to communicate with youngsters like my dd.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 20:04:05

"So that's ad hoc art classes taken care of. " really? A few students gave tips on sketching?
My kids had a specialist art teacher at primary school, with a degree in Art and Design. On warm days they would have lessons in the woods or organic school garden, use the potter's wheel and kiln, or sketch the horses and deer they could see from the playground.
It's lovely that our school had wonderful resources and qualified expert teachers to teach them the basics or real techniques and inspire their creativity.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 20:58:53


Bully for them, mine didn't.
Yes, I dare say some schools do and can do this.
No schools like that round here, so we do it ourselves.
If my dd wanted specialist Art lessons I'd pay for a tutor, she's happy doodling away atm.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 21:12:27

My children didn't know about all the wonderful techniques and materials that were even there to learn about until they had someone with specialist knowledge who was able to guide and teach them the techniques that could open up a new world of creativity and expression.

Otherwise no doubt they would have still just been happy doodling.

ommmward Mon 10-Mar-14 21:41:21

Atthestroke did you notice that this was started as an explicitly positive thread about home ed, not a debate thread?

Yes, yes, you are offering your children opportunities through school that our deprived children can only dream of. Your decision is definitely right, ours is inferior. We are probably damaging our children irrevocably.

Is that what you want to hear? Now, please let this thread be a positive thread about home education, in the home ed topic, as requested. If we can't have such a thread here, where can we have such a thread on mumsnet?

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 21:49:58

Oh so it was started as a positive thread about all the good things about home ed was it? Lets look at the OPs first post then:

"world book week. other threads on other sites on mn panicking/moaning about the dressup things for going into school. Phew! no more of that faff.

no more being called in cos DCs had a meltdown yet again (sn).

the dreaded schoolrun/parking/school gate mums.

being 'persuaded' to fork out your non existant cash to pay for trips/food/workshops etc etc.

bloody sports day.

assemblies and xmas plays which would all freak DC out.

Not to mention her reference to all those noisy screaming school educated kids.

I see it now- yes you are right, it's full of all the lovely things that happen when you home educate....

Oh but it's not is it? It's just a diatribe about all the nasty things that happen in schools.

I am simply redressing the balance. This thread is open to all after all.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 22:13:25

avoiding these things sound positive to me grin, especially if you have a child who has meltdowns.
My dd dressed up and went round town as usual world book day, but it was her choice. She went to an after school activity dressed up as did her friends, it was her choice.
The OPs child was clearly not happy at school and not worrying about the above obviously makes them happy.

I am wondering why twelve doesn't just ignore threads she/he doesn't like. Isn't that usual on Mnet? I saw a thread about Cats before, I don't have one grin

juule Mon 10-Mar-14 22:14:14

"Oh so it was started as a positive thread about all the good things about home ed was it? "

That's how I read it. A positive thread about all the good things about home ed. and then op listed all the positive things for her family. Those positive things about home-ed happen to include examples of that family's negative experiences of school. So not out out of place on this thread really as that is their personal experience which is a bonus to them for choosing to HE.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 22:26:11

I don't agree. THese are all negative points about school, not positive ones about HE. The OP opened the thread with a list of criticisms about school- not positive at all, and not surprise that supporters of school want to defend that

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 10-Mar-14 22:27:28

I what way can "bloody sports day" be seen as a positive comment?

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Mar-14 22:35:27


My dd didn't particularly like sports day. I'm not puching the air because it caused her no distress.
I believe the sports day gave the OPs child considerable upset and caused meltdowns.
I am lucky I haven't had to experience this, if I had I would be punching the air with joy at not having to go through it again.
Choosing the right education isn't a competition with others, and what is right isn't right for another.
If you have the right atmosphere for your child you are lucky, there are many opting for H.ed or being forced to H.ed because the present environment isn't good for their child.
Please let them celebrate the positive changes for their children.
I am pleased I have no more school runs, because the area was quite frankly an accident waiting to happen. I was scared for our safety on several occasions. Should it matter to my pleasure that Joe Bloggs at school x hasn't experienced this, or can I be happy?

juule Mon 10-Mar-14 22:42:04

If you or your child don't have to suffer the negative (for ops family)effects of "bloody sports day" then surely that's a positive.

Nocomet Mon 10-Mar-14 22:46:53

Sometimes HE would be wounderful.
eg. No run ins with the school's new medical officer, who is an unbelievable jobs worth.

Spiritedwolf Tue 11-Mar-14 01:45:29

^My kids had a specialist art teacher at primary school, with a degree in Art and Design. On warm days they would have lessons in the woods or organic school garden, use the potter's wheel and kiln, or sketch the horses and deer they could see from the playground.
It's lovely that our school had wonderful resources and qualified expert teachers to teach them the basics or real techniques and inspire their creativity.^

That sounds idyllic Twelve what a great educational experience for your children - though its a little off topic as it took place in (what sounds like an exceptional) school. I didn't attend such a school and the chances of my DS being able to attend such a school are pretty dire. Our LA is about to slash the budget for specialist art, music and PE teachers for primary schools almost in half (and not from a very high starting point) that will leave 9 teachers to teach art, music and PE (~ 3 per subject, not 9 per subject) to 8,538 pupils across 53 schools in a large rural county. I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like an individual student or class would be getting much specialist teaching time to me, certainly half or less than they do at the moment.

I hope that if we HE my son we will be able to give him many more opportunities to be artistic, musical and active than he would be able to get at school.

I'm also keen for him to learn at his own pace and have the time to pursue his own passions. I want him to have time with the family and time to go out and explore the world outside of school. There's quite a lot of stuff I dream about doing with him and yes, if we end up sending him to school I'll try and squeeze it into his weekends and holidays, when he isn't exhausted.

Just wanted to say how lovely it is to hear all your great experiences of HE. Its great to hear the positive side of things. I notice none of you listed the intellectually stimulating challenge of explaining your educational choices to all and sundry. Presumably this gets wearing after a while. wink

anchories Tue 11-Mar-14 02:36:53

If children cannot cope with other children at 6, how are they going to cope with other young people at 16, 26, 36....?

Are there anyone on here or who is lurking that has children past being a student?
What are they doing?
Are they self employed?
Are they employed?

MavisG Tue 11-Mar-14 06:30:06

I got such a wave of happiness today that I was messing about on the common with my kids, & felt so lucky we were able to do this on a school day.

There are disadvantages to HE, chiefly that most other children are in school, but it's the overall best option for my (nt) 5yo and our family atm. We all choose the best options we have available for our families, don't we? And anyone who thinks in terms of 'mundanes' is very rude and blinkered. All kids are magical. Lots of schools foster this magic. Maybe one day we'll find one for our children but today was just perfect.

Twelve - the OP pointed out in the OP that her child has SN's. it doesn't take that much imagination to see that the things she's listed (as not having to deal with anymore) are going to be big issues for a child with SN. Yes it's great you have a perfect school for your child (as do I - pretty happy with the 3 schools my children go to) but if you want to get irate & annoyed direct it as the system that fails so many children with SN.

My eldest son goes to a wonderful special school - has been there for over 8 years now - but his first year & a bit of sch

Schooling was in mainstream where they failed him repeatedly & made him very stressed & unhappy. They knew so little about SN they couldn't even see what they were doing. 8 years later I still celebrate getting him out of that school - we were lucky that we had an excllent special school option - not everyone does.

Martorana Tue 11-Mar-14 08:39:45

It's difficult, isn't it?. Many of the things that the OP listed as good things about HE because she doesn't have to do are things that I would list as good things about going to school! When you find something that suits your child and makes them happy it's very hard not to evangelize about it and think that it will suit all other children too. For example, my children are both very musical and love being involved in the Scouting movement. Sometimes I forget that I can't extrapolate from my sample of 2 to all children and that singing in a choir and going on night hikes is many people's idea of hell. I meet many HEers in the course of my life and some are fanatically evangelistic about it in a way that could certainly make you feel you were failing and damaging your child by letting them go within 10 miles of a school. All happy HEers are enthusiastic about it- because it is a choice they have been able to make that they feel has been fantastic for their child. And even this can feel uncomfortable for someone who has not thought about or isn't in a position to make that choice. And there is certainly sometimes a feeling in the HE community that anyone can do it-and a public front that it's as easy as falling off a log. Which it isn't. Most successful HEers put loads of time and energy into it- however effortless it looks on the surface.

Not sure what conclusion I'm coming to- except that I don't mind anyone listing things they don't have to do now they're not at school any more as positives for HE- particularly if their child has additional needs. There are things about school I would be delighted never to have to do again, believe me! I could live without the "clip their wings""free spirit"exam fodder""herd mentality" "mundanes" type comments, though. Perfectly possible to have one without the other.

IncognitoErgoSum Tue 11-Mar-14 14:59:05

Tue 11-Mar-14 02:36:53, anchories wrote:
If children cannot cope with other children at 6, how are they going to cope with other young people at 16, 26, 36....?

My DD (undx but with ASD behaviours) could not cope with other young people at 6 (or 14). HE allowed me to work with her on social aspects of life. If she went into a melt-down, we could withdraw from the situation until she was ready to handle it. She could deal with 5 or 6 periods of 1-2 hours per week in children's groups. 30 hours in school would have been too much. She also learned self-knowledge and the ability to withdraw herself from overly stressful situations.

Are there anyone on here or who is lurking that has children past being a student?
What are they doing?
Are they self employed?
Are they employed?

She obtained a law degree from a Russell Group uni last year, went on to do a five-week TESOL course and is currently teaching English in China. At uni and in China she has been complimented on her ability to work in a team. To me, that is more important than the degree - that is what I knew from a very early age was going to be the thing we needed to work on.

streakybacon Tue 11-Mar-14 17:43:14

That's fantastic Incognito - great success for your daughter grin

Martorana Tue 11-Mar-14 20:51:05

Such a wonderful story, incognito- you must be bursting with pride!

LetZygonsbeZygons Wed 12-Mar-14 18:07:25

saintlyjimjams thanks for REading my op properly as that's exactly it, d for those contributing.

as for the others yes this IS a pop at the schools (not all schools surely) that my SPECIAL NEEDS DISABLED child had to endure (I didn't know I could HE till last year) and suffer so much trauma, as did I with all the having to deal with her meltdowns and put downs by those involved as she wasn't getting theright things she needed.
this site is HOME ED, not schools, we are talking about home edding.

im wondering if anyone else (the naysayersgrin) have special needs children who are damaged for life not only by their disabilities but they way they've been treated by those who are in authority as they are the experts and us mums aren't ffs.

my DCs a different child now without all the hassle of school that doesn't affect others of course, but we have found HEdding a saving grace.

any child doing well at school, fine, well done, but its not for everyone, hence this site and this thread.

Sparklyboots Thu 13-Mar-14 22:47:50

I've said this elsewhere but I'll say it again, I really like the way HE lets you trust the child, trust their desire to be sociable and informed. It's such a positive view of children, one I think really chimes with the young people I know.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 13-Mar-14 22:59:41


This is something I hadn't considered, but yes, it is a positive view.

I am not half as worried about dd wanting to gain knowledge, become independent and sociable. I see it every day and it's become a way of life now that we just take for granted.
I'm not worried about Maths or English or anything else. I trust she is getting all the support she needs and know that we can revise the situation whenever we like and more often than not we will find things are just fine as they are.

Sparklyboots Thu 13-Mar-14 23:13:18

We spent a lovely afternoon in a glorious national garden, enjoying the sunshine with another 15ish home ed families. DS climbed trees in a massive gang of mixed aged children and DD took a frisbee to the face crawled about being gorgeous and getting cooed at by the other parents and kids. We sort of did fractions when the food came out, but only out of necessity. I think I may have caught the sun slightly. Twas lush, such a great day to be HE.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 14-Mar-14 12:37:40


That sounds great, there aren't many H.ed kids in our area but when the weather was nice we were out and about a lot more. Then dd gets to play with friends when they have finished school so she still gets to socialise.
Today is cold and there's no sun so we are mostly indoors apart from shopping.
Today she has done all practice, listened and watched Maria Callas in various Opera roles and sang along to MC's version of Ave Maria. Just before we finished I heard The Hebrew Slave music, doesn't half lift my spirit.
This afternoon dd is doing Maths, English and whatever else she chooses. Probably more music. grin

stilllearnin Fri 14-Mar-14 16:55:09

Trust is an issue I come back to time and again too. It grows and grows. So at the moment I am trusting that my son is right in applying to go back to school! He described home ed to the admissions person as being a massive respite for his mind and body to recover. That is a positive!

FavadiCacao Sat 15-Mar-14 10:30:58

The brilliant things about He

The ability to tailor the education to the individual child, catering for his/her specific needs, abilities and aptitude.

The opportunity to enjoy more time with your child/children.

The freedom to choose a curriculum (or not )

More time for extra-curricular activities and social gatherings.

These are the main advantages I have come across. Ds is Home educated, he had specific (and in places complex) needs that MS schools could not address at least not without the convoluted and stressful route of statementing. Ds left school very aware of been different (often bullied because of ) and frustrated with both his physical and learning difficulties; he is now (13) an articulated, confident boy who has achieved in *many *sports and academically thriving (studying 5 GCSEs).
Dd was schooled throughout and is now in FE.

The most brilliant thing about home ed is my children are no longer crushed by a system that is designed to 'baby-sit' my children while I am out being a productive economic unit.

After 3 years away from that revolting system they have all the confidence in themselves that they had before they entered it. They are able to learn independently, choose what they learn and when. They don't need to be scheduled to learn, they do it because they love it.

Best decision I ever made was de-registering them. Worst decision in retrospect was ever sending them to school for the 6 long years they were registered.

morethanpotatoprints Sat 15-Mar-14 14:20:03

Choosing subjects and topics that aren't on the curriculum as part of your school day. Not having to take time to do these things on top of a school day. This for dd has been the best thing about H.ed
being able to fit school, music practice, hobbies and play into her day and not being totally exhausted at the end.

LetZygonsbeZygons Mon 17-Mar-14 18:57:05

this morn we sat in the garden and did a study on birds and nature. nice and quiet, a cup of tea, fresh air and a calm DC.

then did some arts and craft with twigs and bits wed found in the garden.


morethanpotatoprints Mon 17-Mar-14 19:14:56

Oh, how lovely.
My friend gave dd a book about different birds and lots of colourful resources from birdwatch from the RSPB, might be worth a lot if your dc show a continued interest.

LetZygonsbeZygons Mon 17-Mar-14 19:18:03

morethan that's an idea, thanks.

CrabbySpringyBottom Thu 27-Mar-14 12:54:56

I am confused and hmm that some people feel the need to come onto a positive thread about HE on the home ed board and start slagging off people's choices and evangelising about schools. Do home edders go onto the school education threads and start slagging off school and evangelising about HE? No? Well why do it here then? So fucking rude. hmm

Positives about HE for me...

DD is much happier than she was when she was at school.

She has a really lovely group of friends who accept her for who she is. Nobody excludes her, teases or taunts her (unlike when she was at school...).

We can take her learning at her own pace... she picks some things up really quickly (so is probably ahead of where she would be at school), and struggles a lot with others (maths) so we can spend more time on that and take it slowly.

When teaching her one-to-one I can make sure she stays focused and on task; much more difficult to do when she's with other children as she's very easily distracted by other kids.

Flexibility. She recently spent a month in New Zealand with her dad, which wouldn't have been possible when she was schooled. Term time holidays, flexibility to have longer stays with family members, visiting places when they aren't crowded with people. Not being tied to the school day.

I get the best of her (and the worst, of course!), rather than the over stimulated, stressed out meltdowns that we had almost every afternoon when she came out of school.

I was amazed at how smoothly the assessment process for Aspergers (diagnosed last year) was, having heard/read so many horror stories about people battling for years to get a diagnosis for their child and to get their child's needs met by the LA/school. Mainly I think that we were very lucky to see such skilled professionals (developmental paed, SALT, clinical psych), but also I think that it's because we didn't have to fight to get a referral through a reluctant and unsupportive school/LA. I went through the GP, who initially said it would have to be via school, but referred me directly when I said we HE.

When I read about children on the spectrum being desperately unhappy or bullied at school, especially as there are a whole different set of issues for girls with AS/ASD, I am profoundly grateful that I have the means and the knowledge to HE DD and that she won't have to go through that.

LetZygonsbeZygons Sat 29-Mar-14 17:27:30

Crabby my full support for you too.

I can identify with so much you are saying.

Also, Ive been very ill recently, so weve taken the HE easy as much as I can do in a day, it happened a few years ago I was so ill as well I couldn't even take DC to school, no one else to do it for me, no one ever offered, and DC was put down as UNAUTHORISED absence FFS.after id been honest and told school why.

no such probs anymore. and yes, we concentrate on what DC can manage, if shes having a bad medical day well do something like arts and craft as that soothes her, other days after her 'usual' lessons well dabble in the more difficult subjects even if its only 10 mins she can manage shes not being forced into it.

Nigglenaggle Sun 30-Mar-14 13:42:33

I will add for people who work weekends it means that you get to spend proper time with your kids and aren't just Sunday mummy

LetZygonsbeZygons Fri 04-Apr-14 17:56:22

Dc was a bit niggly today (autism) so I gave her a choice of 3 subjects (never make her do what she cant manage) and she chose a car project -she loves cars and Top Gear so we had a calendar of classic cars id bought from poundland, cut them out, stuck each one on a page, she copied the details of the car in her best writing then drew the car at the bottom of the page. she loved it!

I love home schooling, she learns, she writes and draws all in one go and shes happy and interested.

then we read a couple of stories and watched The Plantagenets which Id taped for her.

love seeing a different child to the one so stressed and traumatised at school.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 11-Apr-14 14:04:13

Ah, I missed this last post. How lovely, and she really sounds happy with this type of education.
It sounds like such fun, who needs school? grin

Hope you continue to enjoy yourselves.

LetZygonsbeZygons Fri 11-Apr-14 17:24:25

thanks. what a difference. and as its the easter hols for schoolkids, we're continuing the HE as DC cant cope (Nor can I) when everywhere chocablock and once school starts again then WE have a week or a few days off and go to places.

anyone else do that?

bochead Fri 11-Apr-14 18:23:36


We are rearranging our summer months to suit us and not the school timetable iyswim. In early July we'll have a week off just to chill and go to nice places like museums that get really crowded in the main holidays. Then we'll work again till the 1st week of August when we head off for a home ed camp. Then nose to the grindstone till the bank holiday week, when again we go on a home ed camp.

In September normal service will resume wink.

So 3 weeks "summer holiday" in total rather than the 6 that schooled children have. However I reserve the right to a couple of long weekends later in the year when energy reserves naturally deplete with the cold/flu season and shorter days of winter.

I don't know if that's how I'll handle every year but DS is only just mastering reading fluency at rising 10. Now he's finally found his groove it just seems important to maintain the momentum at this stage of his development.

I do fantasize about taking him abroad for a couple of months at some point when he's a teen, if he proves capable of learning a foreign language to any meaningful degree. To do that though we first have to master English basics & I have to increase my income by a considerable margin lol!

morethanpotatoprints Fri 11-Apr-14 18:30:06


We have a rest from academic subjects, but dd is music crazy so her music lessons and practice continue. She has at least an afternoon and evening free though, we avoid the crowds too.
She has friends that she had from before and during school and enjoys meeting up with these over the holidays and of course several sleepovers. Dh has just taken her to her gps for the weekend, so we get a break too. grin
I'm spending my time downloading resources for rest of the year, so some break smile

MistletoeBUTNOwine Tue 15-Apr-14 08:21:13

Going back to thread title- just getting to know your children. Really knowing them. Seen posters on other threads not knowing what to 'do' with their children in the hols (usually ppl who work ft and kids in school plus wrap around care). When dd was at school it's like you're living parallel lives sharing a house.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Tue 15-Apr-14 08:25:03

I'll add that I'm home on mat leave ATM but when I go back it will be for 2 days, dp has gone pt (3 days) so we all get to spend time with children and together. And yes, we have taken a pay cut to do this, but not on any welfare! (Not that there's anything wrong with people who need them claiming benefits, I have in the past as a lp) smile

MakeMineAMartina Tue 15-Apr-14 10:45:28

KNOWING your children.

makes me so sad reading posters at a loss with their children.

Scout19075 Tue 15-Apr-14 16:36:49

Not stressing about school placement day tomorrow! (I realize that's only for would-be reception children but so many parents of SmallBoy's friends are wrecks about tomorrow.)

morethanpotatoprints Wed 16-Apr-14 18:12:10

Not worrying about what to do with them over the holidays.
no having to spend hours on the road and queuing up for things.
Ditto, to knowing your children.

CaisleanDraiochta Wed 16-Apr-14 20:17:56

When your washing machine breaks down, you don't need to panic about how you will get the school uniforms washed and ready to wear. You just wear whatever clothes are clean or if the worst comes to it stay in your PJs all day!

Also on the same theme- no more paying out for expensive uniform and then having to pay out again for the privilege of not having to wear it for a day hmm

MakeMineAMartina Wed 16-Apr-14 20:39:45

exactly Cais.

and no more homework.

poor things brains fried all day at school and on top of that theyre given homework/projects (not the teachers fault, bloody government laws).

kids can chill out in the afternoons now.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Wed 16-Apr-14 21:09:43

Sleeping til you wake up! No dragging tired kids out of bed grin
Kids get involved in the running of the house; cooking, washing, pet care etc. teamwork.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 16-Apr-14 22:48:56

term time holidays and likewise choosing holidays to fit in with the family. We will probably have about 4 weeks summer holiday and take the whole of December off to fit in with concerts and extra rehearsals.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 16-Apr-14 22:55:48

I'm really new to all this and we were enjoying swimming as her PE well it's made her eczema really flare up and now I'm at a lose what sporty to do I'm not very good with walking I've got arthritis in my feet. I was wondering what everyone else does.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 16-Apr-14 22:56:31

Loss not lose what a nit.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 16-Apr-14 23:50:12

Hello Sonlypuppyfat

My dd used to dance quite a lot at a dance school which helped, but has stopped now. She tends to do lots of keep fit type exercises and dancing for fun inside if the weather is bad. When its good she runs round the park, climbs etc. I try and encourage her to be active with friends through play, which helps too.
You are entitled to join any groups your LEA runs, just as schooled children, in case you aren't aware of this. Obviously the ones run by individual schools aren't open to us as we aren't on roll.
I would get in touch and see what they offer, if she would like a group sport like netball, hockey, football etc.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 16-Apr-14 23:59:30

Ok thanks Morethan I'll look into that.

streakybacon Thu 17-Apr-14 08:06:37

The freedom to take a day off when it all gets too much. Ds has exam stress and it just wasn't happening for him yesterday, so we stopped. He spent much of the day gaming online with friends, and we had a really good talk about what he was finding so difficult. It's good to take that time out when it's needed, rather than keep pushing at it like he'd have to in school, and he's in a much better mood today smile.

bochead Fri 18-Apr-14 11:01:23

^ Ds is much younger than yours but I'm finding generally long weekends as needed when energy levels are low, work so much better for us than set longer holiday breaks generally^

Our breaks now have a purpose, rather than being holiday breaks for the sake of it iyswim.

This means we never have that awful draggy end of term feeling so common in the run up to Xmas in school. It also means he stays fresh and ready to learn more efficiently. DS has a sleep disorder so during the storm season this year I also let him have the very occasional afternoon nap which did him the world of good. No way can you do that at school! (Mind you some schools near us were closed altogether so perhaps that's not an entirely fair comparison).

morethanpotatoprints Tue 06-May-14 17:31:10

I know this has been said before, but not being affected by any policy considered by teachers, HT's, or Gove.
In particular, school holiday length or how many and when.

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