Why on earth home educate??

(101 Posts)
plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:02:33

I am an extremely bright (top first from Oxford, PhD, post-doc, research career etc) person and I push my children to acheive their most at school etc, but I cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to home educate. I would go so far as to say it's selfish to keep your child at home and inflict upon them your idea of what they should learn and become. Hope to get some good reasons!

Suze77 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:06:33

"and inflict upon them your idea of what they should learn and become"

I home educate precisely so that no one can inflict on my children ideas of what they should learn and become. I home educate in order to give my children the time and space and opportunity to work out what THEY want to learn, who THEY want to be, and to support them in that. I don't believe school offers this.

Frontpaw Mon 19-Nov-12 12:12:21

This won't end well

Maybe read some threads on here. I've only glanced at a few but already seen some very good reasons that made me think.

I'm surprised someone as intelligent and well educated didn't think of that tbh.

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 12:13:59

Oh crikey. OP I'm not sure you've really set an amicable tone here. People might be reluctant or defensive if you storm into the topic accusing everyone of being selfish.

I don't HE, but I'd like to. More because I have trouble with some aspects of school, than because I think I'm right about everything. School does a lot of things better than I could myself, but also does a lot of things worse.

Ps I'm extremely bright too but have none of your credentials, so that might not count in your book.

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 12:14:47

I can spell achieve though.

noisytoys Mon 19-Nov-12 12:15:11

DH was home educated and he resents that he didn't get the opportunity to go to school so I agree with you OP. MIL said he was too bright for school, but he has nothing to show for it. DD is very bright (top 1% assessed by ed psych) and she is thriving in school

Frontpaw Mon 19-Nov-12 12:15:47

I only know one person who home eds (on religious grounds) but I'm interested to know how people come to the decision to do this, and how they go about it.

seeker Mon 19-Nov-12 12:16:43


OP- If you really want to know, then name change and try again- perhaps just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiitle less offensively?

Seeker it's the big brains. No room for manners.

Frontpaw Mon 19-Nov-12 12:21:27

My dad had an awful lot of brains but was always very polite (he also taught Brainy Things at university).

We would, however, probably kill each other if he had decided to Home Ed.

You must be very unimaginative if you cannot think up any reason that a family might choose to home educate all by yourself.

You could argue that many choices parents make for their children are in some way or another selfish or 'inflicting' opinions and ideas onto the children... or you could think, well most people are just doing their best for THEIR children, no?

akaemmafrost Mon 19-Nov-12 12:22:16

I can't be bothered to reply in detail to you. I HE by the way and like to discuss it because I feel our reasons are totally valid, but your OP is very hostile so I won't bother.

grin frontpaw

akaemmafrost Mon 19-Nov-12 12:23:32

Very bright, first from Oxford but can't spell achieve? Really? grin

Frontpaw Mon 19-Nov-12 12:26:13

Nobody really describes themselves as 'very bright' do they? Unless they are wearing a fluorescent suit or something?

I don't think s/he's real...

Also, I have worked with Oxbridge sorts and some Very Brainy folk are increadibly dumb.

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 12:26:15

Well she might be dyslexic and still be very clever, despite clear lack of tact smile.

Of course that's another reason some people HE, because some schools won't recognise or help with their child's special needs.

OP if you're seriously interested rather than just venting/having a go, why don't you come back and enter into the discussion?

Possibly because they don't want their children to be 'plain jaynes' as you NN suggests.

They would rather have unique individuals that learn naturally and in tune with their personalities. They would rather nurture and encourage their child to reach their true potential.

Its about knowing your child and what they would benefit from. DD1 is in the local primary, DD2 potentially will be home schooled because that's what their personalities dictate and what they need to flourish.

seeker Mon 19-Nov-12 12:27:33

"Possibly because they don't want their children to be 'plain jaynes' as you NN suggests.

They would rather have unique individuals that learn naturally and in tune with their personalities. They would rather nurture and encourage their child to reach their true potential."

Oh, please don't be rude back!

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:31:03

I can understand if a child has particular needs (yes, yes, I know they all have) or if they aren't happy at school but a reasonably capable, happy child I can't. I observed some lessons last week and saw a boy who obviously didn't want to sit and listen or write or learn and he was more or less forced to, it was very stressful for him and it is painful to think he is made to do this every school day. Most schools do a reasonable job and the children spend a lot of time at home after school, weekends, holidays where parents are able to exert a greater influence on the child's outcome than school does.

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 12:32:13

'I observed some lessons last week and saw a boy who obviously didn't want to sit and listen or write or learn and he was more or less forced to, it was very stressful for him and it is painful to think he is made to do this every school day.'

I'm really confused - do you mean at school, or at home?

Do you think this doesn't happen to kids at school?

So you're involved professionally in he? And admit you know nothing about it and have no idea how to find out more?

Very concerning.

LIttleMcF Mon 19-Nov-12 12:35:09

OP, if you genuinely want to know reasons for home ed, read the threads, then come back with your observations and we can all have a polite and interesting debate.

If you simply want to cause upset with a fairly rude post, then your great brain isn't really being put to very good use these days, is it?

EauRouge Mon 19-Nov-12 12:35:58

One of the many reasons we want to HE is so that our DDs learn to do some proper research into something before forming such a strong opinion on it.

If you want people to take the time out to share their experiences, best not to start out by calling them selfish.

akaemmafrost Mon 19-Nov-12 12:36:13

I've one child in MS education who is thriving and one who I HE. One cannot function at school, SN, self harming, aggression, totally unsympathetic environment. I read once that a primary school teacher said "some children could be ready for school at three, some will never be ready". I think that sums it up completely.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 12:37:45

For someone who describes themselves as "extremely bright" you appear not to be capable of thinking "outside the box". Children are home schooled for so many varied reasons. You idea of keeping a child at home and "inflicting" "your idea of what they should learn and what they should become " is laughable.

How on earth have you formed such a limited view??

OK - Some good reasons why families home school : We travel a lot and it suits us to educate our children with us on the road so we remain together as a family. I don't consider myself "selfish".

Others we know home school because they are geographically isolated - the nearest school many hours away. Two of my daughters friends live on boats and have done so since they were babies and are part of the cruising community. Another lives in Thailand where her parents have set up a refuge for Karen women & children. Dd's godmother home schools her autistic son with great results - he, like you, is "very bright".

We have 2 friends who are gymnasts and they flexi school as they do 28 hrs in the gym each week - they do 2.5 hrs of contact school a day.

We have met home edders that just didn't thrive at school for one reason or another. Bullying an issue in one case that wasn't resolved and led to great unhappiness.

My dds belong to a teenage home school forum and there are kids they have met on line who are not well enough to attend school, one with social anxiety and another with an auto immune issue.

We meet lots of other home edders on the road and I am yet to meet the parent you describe. I am so grateful I have the opportunity to spend endless unhurried hours with my dds who I would describe as such open, big hearted, endlessly curious .....and did I mention "bright" souls.

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 12:42:13

You don't sound "very bright" op.
You sound crass and insensitive.

Hmm, for someone claiming to be bright, you appear quite the opposite, for one thing your two posts on this thread don't agree with each other - first you say you can't think of any reason to home educate, then you go on to say you can understand it if the child is unhappy/has certain needs.

So really you just want a good old judge of some very specific people who you are involved with.

Why didn't you just say that?

Also, just to stretch that big brain of yours further, has it occured to you that whatever you saw was just a snapshot and not a true representation of what that child's education/home life is really like?

And more than a little bit goady.
I's go so far as to say this thread is started by someone, big brain or not, who fancies a fight.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:58:35

I observed lessons at school, so I am saying for children with special needs or who are unhappy at school I get it.

"They would rather have unique individuals that learn naturally and in tune with their personalities. They would rather nurture and encourage their child to reach their true potential."

But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school, and all the fun and experiences they have there. My children are unique, learning fast and are being nurtured and encouraged to reach their potential as well.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:03:00

so would you home educate without the exceptional circumstances, of which you have described some?

LoonyRationalist Mon 19-Nov-12 13:06:55

You know I know next to nothing about HE but even I can see that a brilliant child/adult ratio plus an adult capapble and who is in tune with a child's emotional and academic needs would be a huge bonus.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:09:48

I gave you a whole lot of reasons - you asked for "good" ones - I gave you "good" ones - now you say they are "not enough"!!!!

PlainJayne, we don't all live the suburban dream, we don't all like institutions and institutional learning, not all jobs are 9-5...some of us circle the globe for work, some children are not healthy, happy or suited to school etc etc

Suggest you google famous home schoolers - there are some really bright buttons amongst them!!

so the boy you obseved was in school? and yet you formed opinions about he from this?

jomidmum Mon 19-Nov-12 13:14:20

Reasons we home ed:
DD: She was humiliated at school
her special educational needs were not addressed in an appropriate way
she had panic attacks
she made herself sick on Sunday evenings at the thought of school
she was too tired to pursue the after school activities which she loves
she was sexually harassed by another 7 year old and the school could not manage this correctly to protect her
she was deeply unhappy
in school holidays she was a totally carefree, happy, laughing fun girl

DS: he was rather bored
why should he have to learn Tudor dancing for half an hour each week, when he loves science, maths, statistics, sports, etc?
he was bullied on and off for 3 years

Lots of reasons! Most of all, we want to bring our children up with different values to those that schools teach, we want the freedom to teach them about sexuality etc when we feel they are ready to, in the way we feel is right for our family. A huge thing is for their love of learning to come from within themselves, not to be imposed externally from people who don't really know them.

TeamEdward Mon 19-Nov-12 13:21:58

My son is HE because there is no room at our chosen school (where his brother attends). But as we do more of it, the more I can really see it paying off for him.

Why on earth send kids to school?

I was an extremely bright child, did well in all of my subjects until I got to high school and got bullied and then pressured into subjects I wasn't interested in. I would go as far to say it's selfish to want to send your kids to school and inflict some random teacher's ideas of what they should learn and become on them.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:22:13

Please nobody think that everyone with a "top Oxford first" is like this. sad

I don't think we do
I personally think the OP may be stretching the truth somewhat

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:23:24

Sorry posts crossed. I don't see them as particularly exceptional circumstances - there are so many children that are home schooled for reasons other than not fitting in to school.

To answer your question I would certainly homeschool again in a heartbeat even if I had a very different life. As fulfilling as having children - homeschooling for me is hard to beat. It is such a creative, wonderful way to live - I love learning as much as the children - we have a wide and wonderful group of friends and family ...our children are connected to people of all ages...the things they really love they can spend hours on or we can find people with the same passion.

Our days have so many more hours to fill as I'm no longer doing a school run, making lunches, fiddling around with uniform, library bags, dreaded homework etc etc. I love it.

But most importantly so do my children.

I don't HE btw, I don't have children yet. I nanny a boy who is HE'd and his two siblings who go to a Steiner school.

I should have been home educated by my parents. I intend to home educate my own children one day. I also intend to specialise in childcare for HE'd children and SN HE'd children one day.

EauRouge Mon 19-Nov-12 13:26:04

"But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school"

How arrogant of you to assume that you know what is best for other people's children. Your OP was arrogant and rude and your subsequent posts haven't been any better. Why should anyone engage with you when you are being so close-minded? If you are as bright as you claim to be then do try to have a proper debate. I'm sure you have learnt how to during all that time at Oxford.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:27:57

what I said was you gave lots of obviously valid reasons for home schooling, but they are exceptional circumstances, my question was then if there are not these exceptional circumstances is it a good choice for the child. The not enough referred to the section in quotation marks from another poster.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:29:22

thanks for your answer

julienoshoes Mon 19-Nov-12 13:40:37

"Why on earth home educate??"

I've been asked this question in real life...and for me the answer was simple

"Why on earth wouldn't you?"
When you can live every day as though it is a summer holiday, enjoying yourselves doing things you like to do, with a social life that is the envy of your schooled peers and cousins, and still end up at University, why would you do anything else?

But then you see I have had children in school and out of it...I know that for us this was by far the best choice.

Parents should be given accurate information, so they can make an informed choice about what it best for their families at that time.

julienoshoes Mon 19-Nov-12 13:43:55

"if there are not these exceptional circumstances is it a good choice for the child."

My now grown children have discussed whether it would be a good idea to send any future children to school for a little while...... because they said their always home educated friends had no idea how lucky they are!
But on reflection they have decided they wouldn't impose schools on their own children...."that would be unkind so why would I do that?"

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 13:45:08

I feel like this is a bit pointless, the OP is giving nothing from her own POV to the argument. Just asking us what we think.

Then dismissing most of it.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:54:21

Ah, Julienoshoes .... Always so eloquent ! You have summed up exactly how I feel ..... An endless summer holiday. And "why on earth wouldn't you" could not be a better response.

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 13:58:56

Mulledwine...yeah, it's not a great advertisement for Oxbridge is it?

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 14:01:00

I can actually see myself home edding again one day...ds1 is now at a small village school and happy, and ds2 starts next year.
I guess I am happy to give school a go because I know there is a great alternative smile

CheerMum Mon 19-Nov-12 14:58:01

plainjayne, I home ed my daughter so that I can lock her in a cupboard all day and teach her nothing. Was that what you wanted to hear?
I have no idea why you have started this thread, other than to be insulting and to demonstrate your own ignorance.
I would offer to educate you as to the joys of home education but I'm far too busy actually doing it!

Have you asked your children what they want?

I don't HE and I suspect I wouldn't be very good at it (bit of a control freak) but can see why it works. I have learnt a lot from the HE threads and it has made me focus on the fact that my children are autonomous from my interests and ambitions for them.

I have seen in my DSs' school last year the amount of pressure some of the parents put on the children at exam time (Yr4) I let DS1 do what he thought was necessary. He did OK but not brilliantly but by allowing him to have some control over how he worked he is now setting himself goals for the Yr5 exams and working with me to see how he can achieve it. What he learnt from being given some control was worth more than any exam mark.

I think HE can really suit some children and families because it fits in with the personalities involved just as school suits some children.

IWipeArses Mon 19-Nov-12 16:43:07

Why have you started this thread OP?

flussymummy Mon 19-Nov-12 19:04:47

Because our children are happy at home?
Seems like a good enough reason to me!
We all enjoy it and the girls can work at their own rate, learning about the things that are interesting and important to us all.

flussymummy Mon 19-Nov-12 19:39:44

And another thing... You said "most schools do a reasonable job" - what if we actually feel that we can do more than a "reasonable job"? Or that a "reasonable job" is not good enough for our children?

TheDarkestNight Mon 19-Nov-12 19:42:12

Remember everyone, OP went to Oxford, so don't get too complex in your answers. It's not Cambridge wink. Disclaimer: I am joking! Some of my best friends went to Oxford yadda yadda.

OP, I don't think you're telling the truth. Surely an essential part of research is being able to think laterally? Surely you understand why people HE, you just wouldn't do it yourself, or you disagree with it?

chocolatecrispies Mon 19-Nov-12 21:07:28


morethanpotatoprints Mon 19-Nov-12 22:12:29

Definitely a possibility.
The OP certainly hasn't anything intelligent to say. grin
so biscuit

Colleger Mon 19-Nov-12 23:10:03

plainjayne , you are a classic example of someone who has received an education but is clearly not educated.

My children are educated.

FlamingoBingo Tue 20-Nov-12 00:26:47

how would you feel if a HEor wrote this, PlainJayne?

"I am an extremely bright (top first from Oxford, PhD, post-doc, research career etc) person and I want my children to be confident and curious their whole lives like I am etc, but I cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to send their children to school. I would go so far as to say it's selfish to make your children go to school and inflict upon them the state's idea of what they should learn and become, including the stifling of their curiosity and personalities if they're one of the many children who end up with shite teachers and bullying peers. Hope to get some good reasons!"

Hmm??? Doesn't feel so nice, does it? Fortunately, most of us HEors are a little more open-minded than you are, and are aware that there could well be pluses and minuses to school as well as to home education. Most of us have weighed up those pluses and minuses and found that it makes the most sense for us to home educate. We wouldn't have been able to do such deep thinking about such a vital issue were we as narrow minded as you appear to be. Maybe it's because I'm not an Oxbridge, PhD, post-doc, sun-shines-out-of-my-highly-educated-arse alumni? I don't think so, though...

AmberLeaf Tue 20-Nov-12 01:14:05

Oxford my arse

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Nov-12 01:32:23

What is it with the trolls today?

Are you related to the daft 'American' with speech issues?

Please tell me this isn't going to go on all winter...

sieglinde Tue 20-Nov-12 10:48:27

Hi, OP. I have a D Phil from Oxford myself, am an Oxford academic, and I homeschooled my son for 18 months and have been homeschooling my daughter for 2 years.

Why? Short answer - what my daughter wants isn't offered by any existing school.
Longer answer - in her case this is Greek, Latin, French, German and lots of English and History, with good solid grounding in maths. In my son's case it was theoretical physics at 13.

Am I selfish? Erm, why? Oh, I see - you mean to keep them away from their peers. Because that's what school is for? Not everyone wants to do group work. Why not read Quiet, by Susan Cain... my daughter was also very shy when at proper school, and is now almost precociously confident.

Your turn. (Battens down the hatches... lights blue touch paper and retires...) Why do you choose the state system? How did you come to lose faith in the brave old world which most of our ancestors lived in, where children were taught mostly at home? Are you uncomfortable with independent learning? With articulate children? Are you concerned that there might be privelige or underprivilege or some deviation from some norm?

plainjayne123 Tue 20-Nov-12 12:01:31

Reason for post - a friend of mine mentioned she had a friend who home educated, my immediate reaction was shocked, I didn't know there was a community of people who did this, apart from maybe some eccentrics who think the state will corrupt their minds or people who want to produce children ready for university at 13. I wanted to know why people do it and if there was something I was missing. Putting my immediate reaction as to why not to do it in the OP I guess I thought would create discussion which it has. I think there have been some very good reasons, apart from the reasons which mean your child would not fit in at school.

sieglinde Tue 20-Nov-12 12:24:33

Thanks, Jayne. Good to know you've found some answers helpful and enlightening.

Personally I've never wanted or tried the all-homeschooling route. But at some ages/stages it's worked well for my children, better tbh than private school, which we have also tried. IMHO, the more choices there are the more chance there is to find a good fit for the individual child.

My children are keeping pace with or a bit ahead of their peers in core stuff - my son though is very bright and has often found school very dull. (No, he really is - we now have the exam stats to prove it..) My daughter was cripplingly shy which meant she tended to be miserable - she's also bright, though in other areas than my son. But we are not going for any kind of Ruth Lawrence trajectory..

Obviously my husband and I actually have formal qualifications, though lots of HE parents don't - that just makes it a bit more work, or perhaps a bit more pricey.

Good luck with your enquiries - HE is as varied as schools...

plainjayne123 Tue 20-Nov-12 12:34:40

That is very interesting to HE along with school when that would be best for the child. My birth children are doing well at school and seem very happy but if they were unhappy HE is an option I think I would consider temporarily. I also foster a young child with serious diabilities and HE is something that is good to have as an option for the future.

IWipeArses Tue 20-Nov-12 14:11:54

"I think there have been some very good reasons, apart from the reasons which mean your child would not fit in at school." What does this mean?

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Nov-12 14:38:16

Ok, if you are genuine... grin

The reason you are shocked is because you are completely institutionalised, having been squeezed through the 'education system' all the way through past phd, with doubtless nary experience of anything else.

Most families that homeschool are aware of the process of 'deschooling', to allow children to 'reset' and get away from the sausage factory expectations and dictation a concerning learning. Parents often take longer to de school than the kids concerned, because they have a much greater period of institutional ideation to overcome. In your case... <sucks teef>...

It just sounds like such an exteaordinarily strong over-reaction to something that millions of folk do, that I'm flabbergasted that such a self-defined authority hasn't grasped the concept.

Maybe, as an academic, you ought to pop down the library and read a few books. Try the John Holt stuff, and then have a look on the shelves. Lots of theory for you to get your teeth into, lots of new stuff from current educational theorists once you have got the sense of history.

In fact, I would be surprised if you don't start to desire it for your own kids once you lose the sheltered outlook and start to question the institution itself.

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Nov-12 14:39:33

<waits on tenterhooks for op to return having discovered unschooling>

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Nov-12 14:40:53

Mine are all institutionalised, by the way. They are just as comfy in the system as you are. (With the exception of ds1. He's as miserable as sin but so institutionalised he doesn't realize what's making him miserable. grin)

julienoshoes Tue 20-Nov-12 15:53:25
ommmward Tue 20-Nov-12 17:51:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sieglinde Tue 20-Nov-12 18:09:01

ommmward, a kindred spirit! Me too, and that's my motive also.

ommmward Tue 20-Nov-12 18:25:42

smile Hello, Sieglinde, lovely to meet you. Does your name link to your discipline? <nosey>

FlamingoBingo Tue 20-Nov-12 19:04:12

Hello lovely, Ommmward smile How are you?

SDeuchars Tue 20-Nov-12 21:05:40

In case anyone needs more reasons to home educate, see this thread about attendance letters in AIBU.

Not having a school deal with me as if I were a naughty child seems a very good reason to home educate.

take3 Tue 20-Nov-12 21:53:50

plainjayne123 - I think your question is a really good one. Just because you cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to home educate, it doesn't mean there aren't any good reasons - it just means you can't see them (as you said yourself). So, I am left wondering whether your post is sincere... but, giving you the benefit of the doubt is what I will do.

Here goes... some reasons why we home educate our confident, bright children who have no educational issues or special needs, neither have they had any bad experiences in school.

- Children are made to live in families... they need to and who says that age 4 is the right age for them to leave the family for most of their waking hours.

- Children need to be educated and this is best done with an education that is suited and catering to their needs. No teacher, however outstanding, can meet the needs of 30 individual children in their class.

- Children need to be nurtured and loved. Parents, most of the time, do this best. No teacher can love like a parent can. No teacher has the time to teach children through difficult situations in the playground and give them the scaffolding they need to learn to cope alone. Yes, many will learn to cope but that does not mean it has been taught in the best way.

- Children need to learn social skills and the home is the best place for this. School can help with social skills, but it cannot teach them alone. That is why there are hundreds of children with anti-social behaviour in school - and school is not and will not solve them.

- Children need to be taught how to function as a member of society and where is the best place to learn this... no, not sitting in the kitchen all day being taught by mummy...and not sitting in the classroom all day being taught in a group of 30 children of the same age. The best place is OUT there in society. Home educated children can chat with the elderly lonely lady in the park... they can chat to the shopkeeper and have time to do so... they can ask for a library book when there is time to have a conversation... they can learn to function in society by spending lots of time there.

- Children need to learn to read.... as a very super bright person, you will understand the importance of the written word... but children need to learn in their own time... for ours, this was age 3-4. They have time to read at home, plenty of time. They have time, at home, to research using books... and not just using the computer or watching something on the interactive whiteboard. They have plenty of time to enjoy reading alone.... to enjoy listening to stories, whilst developing essential language skills. TV does not and cannot do this and screens are being used more and more in schools to teach children. The written word is often neglected in school, but not at home.

I could go on...... and on... but that is enough for now.

sieglinde Wed 21-Nov-12 09:12:15

Hi, ommmward. Lovely to meet you too. Yes, it does. Not nosey; but does yours? (thinks of Eastern mysticism).

I'm finding this thread very heartwarming; thanks for starting it, jayne.

Agree also with a lot of what take3 said, and would add that even if your children are at school parents still end up doing a lot. Thinking about my own children and reading, and the hours working through the Oxford Reading Tree... we don't regard this as homeschooling, but if no homeschooling goes on the school itself often tends to fail. Same with e.g. music, going to museums etc.

My dd currently has a shorter schoolday than her friends at a real and v. expensive and regimented private school, but does one extra language - because she wants to - and also does a number of personal project things, including a blog and chicken care. She is also ahead of them in both maths and English. The aheadness doesn't matter much to me or to her in itself, but I mention it because I know some people worry that HE will ruin children's chances. My point is that without things like assembly and lining up for lunch, there is more fruitful use of time for learning AND for leisure.

Also very warmly agree with take3 about the overuse of TV and indeed computers in schools. I remember a v. expensive and posh school library where ALL the children were ignoring the books to crouch over computers used as games consoles, EVERY time I visited.

plainjayne123 Wed 21-Nov-12 09:27:21

great answer, by far best reasons I've heard so far.

flussymummy Wed 21-Nov-12 11:25:51

Take3- thank you- that's a great post and I wholeheartedly agree. There's nothing we enjoy more than a trip to a museum, library or shop during the week and I'm always astonished at how much the dynamic changes at weekends and during holiday periods.

take3 Wed 21-Nov-12 16:43:56

seiglinde, I agree that parents end up doing a lot of home help, even when the children are at school - that really just shows that teachers can't cater for all the needs of the children in their class. I have friends who do reading and writing with their children every day after school - when their children are so tired and just want to have fun in a relaxed family environment.

sieglinde Wed 21-Nov-12 17:22:49

exactly what led me to HE, take3. In HE, things like Kumon become much more practicable than they are when you are pushing an unhappy and tired child through them. I think many parents don't realise that HE is in this sense not much more time-consuming than the school run plus extra stuff.

ommmward Wed 21-Nov-12 18:43:11

Hello lovely flamingo. How are you lady?

<shameless hijack>

FlamingoBingo Thu 22-Nov-12 08:10:14

I am good, thank you smile is your mobile number the same? Going to text you x

seeker Thu 22-Nov-12 09:56:43

Am a bit hmm at the idea that HE is a good because it leaves more time for Kumon.............

Lancelottie Thu 22-Nov-12 10:14:36

Interesting! I think I send mine to school because I'm not very socially adept myself, so it's best for them to have some other yardstick by which to measure normality.

After 10 years of 'good' to 'outstanding' schools, DS1 still hadn't learnt any noticeable amount of maths and had to be taught it at home over a very stressful holiday, so his maths GCSE is, effectively, homeschooled. Is that 'inflicting our ideas of what he should learn'? Well, yes. We thought he should know some maths...

Most schools rely very heavily on parental input, and some schools can let a child down very badly despite this input. I can see why a confident parent with the right working setup might want to give them a miss.

ommmward Thu 22-Nov-12 10:34:05

Yes, flamingo, mobile number still the same. I've lost yours in a phone change six month ago, though smile

musicposy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:57:18

Well, I tool DD2 out of school because she wasn't coping well/ enjoying it etc. So you could maybe see why.

However, DD1 came out because she saw the fun her sister was having. No other reason except to have fun.

She was home educated because she had an amazing time with loads of fun and amazing opportunities she couldn't get at school. This month alone DD2 has been on an archaelogy day, to a talk and workshop at the local recycling plant, behind the scenes at our cinema operating the equipment and is going to the Royal Institute next week for a class on extracting DNA. This is on top of all her regular drama, dance, skating, singing, piano, science club, astronomy society etc etc.

Home ed gave DD1 loads of time to concentrate on her music, dancing, skating, and theatre classes. It gave her loads of time to have fun with friends. Children in school are in lessons most of the time, not having genuine social time. It gave her loads of time to relax and chill out. It gave her time to follow her own interests.

In September DD1 went to college to do A levels. What we hadn't prepared for was the huge amount she's had to sacrifice to do this. However, she did it because it was her choice and I believe in children thinking for themselves and making their own decisions.

The colleges were falling over themselves to take her. She is top of all her A level classes and has been marked as "outstanding" in all her assessments to date. She is popular, happy and thriving. Teachers comment on how she thinks for herself and goes off and finds answers instead of waiting to be spoon fed. They said she is working more like a much more mature university student. Home education has been the most amazing success story for her.

My question would not be why would you home educate. My question is, if you really want to give your child every opportunity, why wouldn't you?

sashh Mon 26-Nov-12 05:03:37

But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school, and all the fun and experiences they have there.

And if those experiences are bullying, being humiliated daily and there is ablsoloutly no fun. Would you still send them?

What about a child who spends a lot of time in hospital? Or a child who has a real tallent in music, art, maths that cannot be catered for in the local school?

FlamingoBingo Mon 26-Nov-12 08:30:03

And what about preventing children from all the fun and experiences they cold have if they had more time within their family when you force them to go to school?

musicposy Mon 26-Nov-12 13:10:29

Yes, one of the things we quickly realised was that schooled children are prevented from having loads of amazing fun experiences that home ed children can access, both with family and friends. As I said, DD1 has had to sacrifice so much to go to college, way more than she had to sacrifice when she came out of school.

One of the things DD1 is asked constantly when she says she was home educated is "What was it like?" She finds it hard to answer. She usually says, "Well, it's nothing like school, and it's not what you think it's like."

I think this is the problem. Most people maybe have an idea of what they assume home ed is like, usually sitting at a table alone being told what to do by mum or dad. And because they've never done it, most of their assumptions are wrong. Our home ed was/ is as far from that as you could possibly imagine. Schooled children get some experiences home ed children don't, but home ed children get lots of experiences that schooled children can never have.

chocolateicecream Mon 26-Nov-12 19:58:19

There can be quite a difference between being simply academic and being educated. OP you need to educate yourself.

BrittaPerry Fri 30-Nov-12 09:34:44

The only school available was Catholic, and there is no such thing as a secular school.

Dd1 was getting more and more stressed. She struggles with social situations, but has become so much more confident now she can have shorter bursts in smaller groups. The change is amazing. She is 5.

Dd1 is learning about Ancient Eygpt, to play keyboard and cornet, to cook, to tell the time, to recite poetry, to write poetry, grammar, a different culture or festival every week (with appropriate trips, food, music, art, talking to people, etc), she learns art in a free class at a university (Russell Group, if that helps...), we go to at least one museum, usually two or three, a week, where we get to look and and use whatever we like without queues and/or play with our HE friends and ask questions of the experts.

She knows how to buy a bus ticket, add up the price of simple shopping and make choices to stay in budget, return and self issue library books, cook simple meals with minimal supervision, find and identify minibeasts, ask directions in a supermarket, use google, use an encyclopaedia or dictionary, use a microscope, use a map.

She had one of her school friends around for tea last night and is going to another school birthday party on Sunday. She also does dancing, rainbows and plays in the street (when it isn't flooded...) with general local children.

In the next few weeks, we will be going with HE groups to hear the nativity story in a 900 year old cathedral, have a tour of a fire station, have a tour and activity session in a modern art museum, to a planetarium, to a science show, to a soft play centre and to a wetlands centre. Plus of course the more spontaneous meetups.

My nana needs care, and so we travel over to give my mum a break, and while we are there we meet up with friends, go to the seaside, see different museums, talk to nana about her life, learn to knit and sew, make inventions, fly kites.

We can go and visit my (teacher) sister in London, or my student sister in Sheffield. We can get cheap trains to Scotland. We can go on political demos. We can go camping at cheaper times.

No matter how good the school, it would struggle to provide all that, and poor dd was too tired after school.

JuliaScurr Fri 30-Nov-12 09:42:47

dd was an anxious, stressed out school refuser at 2 schools, so we home edded until we found a local school that could meet her needs. They cured her within 4 months. We were marked down by LEA as 'choosing' HE hmm

Djemila Tue 04-Dec-12 17:54:54

One of the reason I HE is my own experience in the past, teachers told me that I would never be able to draw or speak a foreign language (english is not my native language) and now I sell my drawings for work and live in England.

Not so selfish, am I?

crowisland Wed 13-Mar-13 22:23:56

I need urgent advice about homeschooling networks in central or north London for a teenager. Daughter: 15, but has not been in a UK school (we are relocating back) so not in GCSE curriculum.
Any advice, suggestions???

SDeuchars Wed 13-Mar-13 22:39:06

Number 1 suggestion: Don't resurrect offensive zombie threads!

I have just bumped all the standard messages for you, including the one on finding home educators.

If you want specific advice (e.g. about getting qualifications), I'd suggest starting a new thread setting out what you want to know.

RioBryden Tue 19-Mar-13 21:59:28

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Ardotalia Sun 31-Mar-13 14:59:38

I'm replying to the original post here... where to begin?

I am home educated. My Dad is a Cambridge First Class Hons graduate and scholarship boy from Kings in Macclesfield. He is a Latin and mediaeval French scholar, linguist, palaeographer, amateur archaeologist, genealogist, historian and author of several books who worked with some of (and founded others of) the best UK ancestral research companies, and yet I have never heard him describe himself in the sort of glowing terms used somewhat egotistically in your post. Perhaps this is because he really IS bright?

He chose to home educate his five children. Although he excelled academically he did not like school and he does not believe that jumping through hoops (i.e. passing exams) is really proof of intelligence or expertise. His reasons for home educating were many. He wanted his children to have the freedom to think our own thoughts, to avoid peer pressure and bullying, incarceration, inadequate or substandard teaching, State indoctrination, teaching fads and fashions that changed like the wind with every incoming Government, etc., etc. He also wanted us to be able to spend as much time as we wished on the subjects that interested us most rather than stopping and starting with bells ringing all the time.

I'm not going to start boasting about my achievements here. It might take all day. ;) I rest my case. Oh, and my two children are home educated, quite simply because it works.

MariscallRoad Mon 01-Apr-13 22:11:31

Can you give us the reference of a research publication establishing what you say?

There are very bright people with firsts from any university, as well as those very bright people who did not go to one.

It is not a good idea to push a child: normally, home educators do not do this

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