thats it - home edding from now on!

[jetcatisfrozen]

following on from my thread here i am now home edding my 12y year old.

I am extremely nervous about this, but really believe it is the best option for her. I guess i will have to find the sample letter to write to the education dep about deregistering - is there anything i should be doing just starting out?

[musicalmum43]

Good luck!! We have just had 6 months of home edding and my DD asked to go back to school - she's finding it tough but stimulating and enjoying other children's company. I'm not sure that school is where she's staying, but hope it works for her. Hope it works out for you - get onto Education Otherwise, they will have details of local home edders and discounts for educational type stuff and pro-formas for sending to the school. Try and keep it neutral as we did because we also had DS at the school, and DD has been able to return without any problems from the school.

Best wishes xx

[ommmward]

Yes, there's a sample letter for you at EO

Anything you should be doing?

1. don't spend lots of money on educational resources just yet. (because you don't yet know what your daughter will enjoy)

1. take a couple of weeks to read this book and, while you are reading, think of some really fun things for your daughter to do, just to unwind and destress.

1. Find some fun local places to go to while it's quiet - swimming pools, castles, whatever your daughter is into.

1. Pyjama days, watching Mary Poppins, whatever will help you both to just feel optimistic and happy :-D

[musicalmum43]

Totally agree with the above - you will both be stressed and shocked so lots of cuddling and fun! Keep us posted!! BTW, we are in Suffolk - where are you? I know the groups in Suffolk are very friendly.

[jetcatisfrozen]

thanks and to think i was worried that i would be doing this on my own!

musical - i hope your DD settles well back at school, i have kind of left that door open for my DD, but i dont want her to be in the mindset that she can stay at home for a few months and then simply go back to school.

omm - you must know me then I am a sucker for stationary and books - but i will try and resist the temptation

First off, i will get that book you mention, and look on the EO site.

I am in north east england, and thanks to a poster on my other thread (sorry, memory shocking otherwise i would have named her) there is a group about 15 miles from me, which do weekly meets etc. I have applied to join their yahoo group, so shall see where that takes me.

I think that you are right about needing time to destress - DD is still in the mindset that as they are doing the digestive system at school, that is what she MUST study at home

and thanks for the kind wishes

[jetcatisfrozen]

a question my DD has thought of - she is very much a worryer!

If she is out and about during school hours, what if she gets stopped by the police? How can she prove she shouldnt be at school - is there a pass or something?

[jetcatisfrozen]

bless her - she has just come downstairs with a timetable she has concocted -

different subject each morning and afternoon - 7 days a week I dont think she has quite grasped the concept

She is now busily writing individual topics for each subject........

[AMumInScotland]

With Education Otherwise membership you can get a card (size of a credit card) for her to carry with her to show if she's stopped. In theory she just has to say she's HE but the card might make her feel more comfortable that it's "official"

It sounds like she's very "into" the idea!

[jetcatisfrozen]

thanks AMIS - that sounds ideal!

and yes, she is very into it - i just hope it lasts!

I have found that my nearly local group doesnt meet in their home town, but actually meets about 10 mins walk from my house, at an outdoor nature centre! they meet each wednesday morning on alternate weeks - oops, that messes up her timetable already

[ommmward]

And you can also get membership cards from THEN-UK, and from (I think) the Home Education Advisory Service.

They can be useful for waving at truancy patrols

[FlamingoBingo]

Hello. Found your other threads now!

I wondered if you'd be interested in my step-brother's experience.

He is high functioning aspergers. He was let down by his mother who really pandered to him and didn't help him learn anything about living in the real world, and refused to believe that he had aspergers. When my mum married his dad (my mum was a SENCO), she got him diagnosed and got him help in school. But school really, really, really failed him. He just couldn't get on, couldn't learn things he had no interest in. He knew every fact you can imagine about the various wars he was obsessed with, but absolutely nothing about the things school wanted him to know.

When he was 16 he went to a special steiner college where they were much more autonomous in their approach, and he thrived. He loved the practical skills he was learning so learnt them really well. He developed an obsession with Russia. When he was at school he'd really struggled with foreign languages. He couldn't apply his memorising of vocab to make up sentences at all. But, he taught himself to speak, read and write Russian! He met, online, a Russian girl and went out to visit her, arranging his visas and passport and transport himself with a little help from our parents. He's now married to her and managed to arrange all the visas and residency permits etc. for her to live over here with him. He got a job in a bank and is now acting manager of a small branch.

There is no way you would have any idea he had aspergers now, other than his slightly odd behaviour sometimes (and who doesn't behave slightly oddly at times!?) - in fact his wife doesn't believe us. But actually it's just his family and the college he went to working with him, with his interests and with his unique strengths, rather than mainstream school trying to mould him to their warped view of what children should be like and should learn.

My mum wishes she'd HEd us all now but was not in a position at all to do so. But she knows that for my step-brother, in particular, HE would have made the biggest difference.

Autonomy means working with what the child wants and needs, not what you want them to want and need. So if your DD is asking for a structure, then she needs a structure - give her one! It'll work if it's on her terms. It's only not autonomous if you're the one imposing it.

[jetcatisfrozen]

thanks flamingo -thats really interesting. I am glad your step brother has come out the other end, so to speak, a much happier person.

My DD actually loves learning French, as she loves the repititve nature of learning the verbs etc. To further her interest (plus i was so relived she was actually considered to be 'good' at this subject) she did have private french classes while at primary school - nothing major, just her and another 8 year old doing french puzzles, colouring sheets, simple words etc. But, due to the pathway she is in now at school, she wont even be entered for the french GCSE. She knows this, and is extremely upset.

I must admit to wobbling slightly today I need to contact school tomorrow and let them know, and my mind is racing - just not sure i wont be isolating her further. SHe is at her dads at the moment, so i think we will have yet another chat about it when she comes home this evening!

[Tinuviel]

Can I just recommend a book for French that suits children who like the grammar side of language learning, the structure, the rules etc. It's from the publisher Galore Park and is called "So You Really Want to Learn French". There are 3 books and they are written for the prep school market. I only wish I could use them at school! They also do the same in Spanish, which IMHO is even better! Are you in the North East? It's just that the meet-ups sound like a group near here which we sadly can't get to as I work on a Wednesday!

[FlamingoBingo]

Well I'm sure you could find a way for her to do GCSE French if she wanted to do it. I hope that yahoo group for exams for HE kids is helpful.

A local French man used to run a french club for 4-7yo a while ago which my DD1 loved. And a Spanish speaking woman does a Spanish club. Might be worth seeing what's around locally - are you on your local HE email list yet? See if there's anything happening and if not, why not see if you can find someone who speaks French to run something and see if anyone else would be interested in being involved.

[jetcatisfrozen]

thanks guys, you have all been so lovely and helpful Yes tin, i am in the north east (wonders if a potential meet up is on the cards Is the meeting you are thinking of in a place called S in a town beginning with H?

I like your idea Pixie of having a going shopping day etc. I do also have a little one, who has just started school nursery, so there for a couple of hours each morning. But, one day a week a childminder picks her up for the day, so i think maybe that day could be a 'visit day'. but, that day is actually so that i can get my OU studies done, so not too sure how that is going to work

I will look into those french sites thanks, i have seen a distance IGCSE course she could do at some point, but i figure we have plenty time for that.

[ommmward]

what is it Juule or someone else wise said? School can be the loneliest, most isolating place in the world.

Some HE children I know, particularly those with spectrum characteristics don't have very many friends their own age. What they feel comfortable with is children quite a bit older or younger, or adults, or grandparents or whatever. Can you expand your horizons when thinking about social opportunities for her? Maybe she'd like to come along to toddler group and be a pied piper figure for the little kids? Maybe she'd like to visit an old folks' home once a week to play scrabble or have a sing-song with the old geezers? Maybe, actually, just spending time in the library and getting to know the librarian would be a good idea? Or maybe there are supportive clubs or guides or something locally she might like to join? Don't rush into anything organised though - she's only just escaped that!

[jetcatisfrozen]

ommmward - you have described DD so well. Before we moved to this house, we were in our last one for about 7 years. The only friends she had was the elderly people either side of us.

I will def look into seeing if she can visit an old folks home or something, she would love that And yes she also gets on a lot better with younger children, and loves the librarians

It is actually quite reassuring to hear people giving characteristics and traits that my DD fits into, as for so long she has seemed to be a misfit