When do you decide to call it day for state schooling???....

[becaroo]

....my ds1 who is 6 has been a reluctant student right from nursery. He has struggled with literacy and reading (he is one of the youngest in his year) and his year 1 teacher was useless which has left us with a lot of confidence issues.

We have also had bullying issues but these have now been addressed.

I started looking into HE as he was so upset and was saying he "hated school" but he decided to stay at school til xmas and then we would review the situation. He has mentioned wanting to learn from home a couple of times since, but not recently.

Does that sound like a child who really wants to be HE?????

We have had some tears this term (he says he misses me when he is at school) and my PIL are very anti HE and would make my life a misery I am sure

I am doing extra work with him at home (and have been for most of this year) and I really like the idea of him learning what he wants when he wants to and have been really annoyed by something that happened at school this week.....he is on ORT level 6 reading books and brought home a stage 8 one I asked him why it was stage 8 and he got very upset and anxious and I told him I would speak to his teacher next day.

Basically, they let him choose a book (he got one out of the wrong box) but she then read 3 pages of it with him and didnt realise!!!!! Am I being unreasonable in thinking that is completely unacceptable???? He is supposed to be a "frequent reader" (3 times a week) but the last 3 weeks has only read at school once each week. Apparently its because they are so busy with the xmas play.....

Am getting really cheesed off with the whole school ethos but I am worried that I now want this more than him

Is there a point where you just "know" you are going to HE or do you have some sort of epiphany???? Am worried I wil make the wrong decision........help!

[bananabrain]

Hello, I'm sorry your ds has been having difficulties. You say he has mentioned learning at home a couple of times this year, but I wondered if you had actually brought the subject up and asked him recently? It maybe that he hasn't mentioned it but would still like to do it - maybe he doesn't realise it is still an option. Or it may be that he has decided he wants to stay at school at the moment which would be reassuring for you that he doesn't hate it too much!
However, when it comes to whether or not you want it more than him, I'd say for me it wouldn't really matter that you have your own reasons for wanting to HE as long as he was also happy with the idea. In fact, I think it's a positive thing that you can see so much that would be good in HE rather than it just being a reaction to him hating school - it probably means you'd go into it really positively and it would help with those discussions with relatives.
I know people who have taken their dcs out of school for similar reasons but found HE so great they never considered sending siblings. It suddenly doesn't seem so scary and radical once you're doing it!
Do you know anyone locally who HEs? I think with me that meeting others and finding out what activities and support were out there was what made me feel like HE was really a possibility (when ds1 was 3). I think the decision must be harder if you actually have to take your child out of school - much more of a definite change - but you can always try HE for a while and ds go back to school if it doesn't work out.
In the end I trusted my instincts and did what felt right for now.
Good luck and let us know what happens.

[becaroo]

Hello!

I am going to ask him tomorrow if he has given any thought to what he wants to do re: school after xmas....but I worry as I have a 14 month old ds2 who is very demanding of my attention...am I mad to think I could HE?????!!!

[Tinuviel]

Lots of people home educate with younger children at home - I am sure you would find ways of doing stuff. When DS1 started flexi-schooling, I had a 2 1/2 year old and a 9 month old. We started full-time home ed 2 years later with an almost 6 year old, a 4 1/2 year old and an almost 3 year old. I don't remember how I coped so it obviously hasn't scarred me for life!

[bananabrain]

I also have a 2 1/2 yr old and I think really it is a bonus having a little one around. Apart from the obvious company, at the moment I keep finding ds1 reading to ds2 which is lovely, as ds1 is only just beginning to read and I think it is great for his confidence.
Which actually makes me want to point out another advantage to HE (not that I'm trying to persuade you how great it is ) - that children can learn to read and write in their own time without any pressure and without being labelled as a problem at age 4 or 5 when in fact in many countries they wouldn't have started reading and writing at that age. My ds1 does hardly any writing, but is gradually picking up the necessary skills by drawing and painting etc. (which he has recently become much more interested in) and I am sure that when he is ready he will be able to write without any problem.
I'm sure you could work around your little one and do things with ds1 that required a bit more focus when your ds2 is asleep. As ds2 gets older he would be able to join in with the same sorts of games and activities and the age gap wouldn't seem so big.
I will just go and look for a link for the Early Years HE yahoo group - if you wanted to join that you'd get lots of advice and might find some people local to you. Also, you might find a local group through Education Otherwise.

[bananabrain]

This is the web address for the Early Years HE support list - I have tried a link but they still defeat me!!

groups.yahoo.com/group/EarlyYearsHE/

[lilyfire]

Only really posting to second what other people have said. I home ed a 6 yo and have two little ones. An unexpected benefit to home ed has been how much the little ones have benefitted from going to home ed groups and enjoyed having their big brother around.
They do so much more than they would if they were at a playgroup or nursery.
I think it's really, really scary actually making the final decision to HE and I was terrified for about two weeks while I was deciding, but after that it's seemed really straightforward and natural.
Would also recommend getting in touch with other home edders locally and going to a group, with or without your son. I found it really helpful to work out what was going on locally, so could plan out how our week would look.

[FlamingoBingo]

I home educate my four - 6.5, nearly 5, nearly 3 and 1. It's not mad to consider it at all, very sensible in my (rather biased) opinion .

Read all you can about autonomous learning - Alan Thomas's latest book 'How Children Learn At Home' and anything by John Holt. That will hopefully give you the confidence that your DS will learn everything he needs to and more without you having to do loads of planning and 'lessons' etc.

We don't do anything strucured or formal at home. We attend a social home ed group once a week, DD1 likes to go to a local Spanish class and we join in with a local singing group once a week too, and she does street dancing. Apart from that the only regular thing she does is practice her recorder, which I don't insist on, but do remind her about as she wants to learn saxophone eventually.

If she wants to do something that the littlest ones will make difficult, we either schedule it for a time when there's another adult around to look after the little ones, or do it when they're asleep, but that doesn't happen often.

Remember, learning doens't just take place in school hours - my DDs do a lot of activities late at night, for some reason, and I know other HEors who say their children are most productive at that time as well!

Don't let having a baby around stop you from HEing if you think it's the best thing for your DS.

[becaroo]

Thanks everyone....will let you know what he says!!!!