Have you joined the HE disapproval club?

[2kidzandi]

Hello all! Everyone having a nice weekend I hope weathers great!

Just thought I'd share a little snippet from my life that I found amusing - just for conversation really.

Anyway I have always got on really well with the mother of my DS's father. She's always been very kind, and everytime I drop round her house she always greets me effusively and invites me to eat till i'm stuffed.

Anyway i'm dropping the children round to their dad yesterday, and I go into the passageway and I hear nothing,(usually she calls out hello as soon as I come in) assuming she hasn't heard me, I finally locate her in the living room, where I'm greeted with a reluctant and curt hello - she's not even looking at me.

Then she says: "So you're not sending _ to secondary school?" Just like that.

And I say: Not unless he wants to go.

Then she says: So what's going to happen? You're not going to apply for a place?!

And carefully just to please her I say "Maybe much later." She says something like "Hmmm" which sounds very disapproving.
After that there is a long uncomfortable silence so I attempt to make small chat so I can withdraw myself without being rude.

There is no offer of food or drink despite it being a hot day.

Anyway DS's father offers me lunch and I eat (I really shouldn't have but he cooked it) Later i'm in the kitchen on my own with DS and she walks in without looking at me, puts something in the bin and walks straight out again in silence.

When I leave I poke my head round the door to say goodbye and she says "you're going?" and I say "yes" and she says nothing; no goodbye or anything.

How things change!

Can't say i'm really upset or anything, I've just been trying to work out whether she is like this because she really disaproves or because her son hasn't listened to her negative remarks about it. (I later learn from DS's dad that she has been very against it and been urging him to send them back to school, hehe!) She's used to getting her own way with all her kids and their wives and girlfriends, so in my situation where I have majority say, she doesn't have full control and I think that is getting to her

But I do like her and have always got on with her until now!

Just thought I'd add this in the hope that it may make anyone experiencing similar anti-HE disapproval from inlaws/family/strangers etc feel like they're not alone you're really part of a big club!

[Kayteee]

Mornin 2kidz!!

It's me here, with my 3rd cuppa tea, tapping away when I should be out in the sun!

Sorry to hear about your "experience". Maybe she'll come round to it after a while. The main thing is that you know you've done the right thing, at least for now. Email me

[nappyelite]

Ouch! That's rude, even if she disapproves she shouldn't behave in such a way! Well done for being so ladylike with her and for sticking to what you believe not being swayed.

[2kidzandi]

Thanks, katie, nappyelite. No one on either side of the family really approves although most try to keep it to themselves. Funnily enough maybe it's all the exoposure to others who are also doing HE despite experiencing the same thing, but I wasn't too upset, just bemused really.

My only concern is that she is a real strong matriarch and since DS dad lives with her I worry that she'll go on at him to send them back, especially as the time to apply for secondary places comes round. She can't understand why school should be a problem, as in her day they were caned and it 'did her no harm.' I don't want her putting nagging thoughts in his head as she usually does get her own way and the others usually toe the line so to speak.

I think I'll keep trying the charm offensive.

[flamingobingo]

Soooo glad I don't have to be a member of this club! We've got full support, thank goodness, from both sides of the family!

What does your DS's dad think?

[2kidzandi]

flamingobingo he's come round to the idea of HE and has been quite helpful, actually he's really surprised me at times. I still don't think he's as secure with it as I am yet though - probably because I do most of the hands on side of it and he pretty much has to just trust me. I just don't need someone whispering doubts in his ears when we're just trying to get into the flow of it!

But like I said it's up to me and DS's to prove all the doubter's wrong - which we will!

[flamingobingo]

Give him books to read about HE to keep his enthusiasm up while he's hearing the doubts? And maybe they'll give him something to answer her back with!

[2kidzandi]

Good idea, thanks!...I had "learning all the time" by J. Holt here, but I have no idea where it is now...I really need to get organised