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Home ed

Deschooling a very academic child

18 replies

MillionToOneChances · 26/04/2015 01:02

Could someone explain to me what you see as the benefits of deschooling?

We are getting close to making a decision to deregister DS10 after a term of flexischooling. The difference I see with most deschooling stories I see is that we are doing this because DS wants more academic work, more challenge. He is full of questions, constantly seeking knowledge on a vast variety of topics. He's very academically able, particularly in maths. He's created for himself a demanding and varied curriculum (which I support because he's so at the thought of having time to learn what interests him, though I've pointed out there's nothing to stop him changing direction as time goes by) and an hour by hour timetable (which I have told him I believe is inflexible - I've suggested he do maths and literacy every day and otherwise follow his interests day to day).

Has anyone deschooled a child who is extremely driven academically, or not deschooled them and later wished they had?

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madwomanbackintheattic · 26/04/2015 01:16

um, I think you need to de school yourself, in the first instance. Math and literacy daily? Wink
Maybe just suck it and see. My 11yo found it very helpful to read educational theory books on unschooling/ different forms of education lol. And I have just dug out the 'teenage liberation handbook' again today, as I think DS might like it.
They are actually both still in school but wouldn't be if I didn't have to work ft. Dd2 finds the idea of alternative education very appealing, and all three are confined by the expectations and curriculum of state ed.
I'd love to hear how you get on.
Does ds have any additional needs? I'm interested in how you came to flexi school for a more able kid... How did that go down with school?

MillionToOneChances · 26/04/2015 01:34

That was my compromise :D Plus he currently wants to go back to school for secondary, he's just desperate to escape his primary school. He craves maths, would need to do it daily or he'd be miserable, and his literacy is weak so could use some work.

Friends aren't an issue, he's fairly popular amongst the not-particularly-popular kids (!) and flies under the radar of the others. He doesn't have any additional needs in the sense of needing extra help, but he's off the charts by his school's standards in maths. He's ahead of DD13 who is in top set at the secondary he wants to go to, he just picks up anything he's given. He has an excellent memory and is utterly bored with being taught and retaught things in maths, science and French that he's learnt before (not learnt very well for French, mind!). He is just desperate to move on to learn about things that interest him.

School agreed to flexi when I quoted back at them all the things they'd promised to do to challenge him over the years and said that since they clearly lack the resources to follow through with these plans and since DS was utterly miserable as a result, he needed some respite.

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SunshineAndShadows · 26/04/2015 01:35

I was a more 'able' kid at school. Fortunately my teachers were very supportive BUT it is very frustrating when you're reading something in a textbook that you won't be 'taught' for a couple of years. However I found the school environment excellent for plugging my ability-gaps.

I'm now a vet. For that, I knew I needed sciences. I was always on track for an A* in biology and could probably have sat the exam earlier if I'd been pushed/this had been supported. Instead this additional time from coasting biology allowed me to scrape a decent chemistry grade - a subject in which I struggled.

I love my job and my chemistry A level is pretty much irrelevant to it. But it IS an entry requirement. Without formal education I would have concentrated on my strengths, ( biology, foreign language, and English) all of which I enjoy as hobbies now, but none of which would have been the career I wanted.

MillionToOneChances · 26/04/2015 01:50

He (currently) wants to be a mathematician. Definitely capable. I see your point about plugging gaps. So does he, which is why he's determined to work harder on literacy because it doesn't come as easily.

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Saracen · 26/04/2015 08:11

The key to deschooling is that when formal academics are done, it's at the child's request. That doesn't mean you have to forcibly prevent him from enjoying his maths book.

If you sense that he is being a bit too rigid for his own good (and some kids do need/want structure: it isn't a bad thing as such), you can keep suggesting other approaches to him - which you are already doing. Perhaps it would be helpful to review his plan often to assess how he feels it's working. That way he can give himself permission to change it, rather than feeling that any diversion from it equals failure.

My teenaged daughter, who has always been an autonomous learner, sometimes sets aside fixed times to work on particular things because she knows this will cause her to do them more, and she wants to improve.

Apparently your son has no problems with disengagement like some kids do when they have just left school, so there are no hurdles there. For him, the deschooling process is just about observing that learning can happen in a variety of ways (e.g. literacy through reading novels instead of doing grammar workbooks, or perhaps learning as and when he's in the mood rather than using a timetable) and encouraging him to try out some of those other ways in case he may prefer them.

Liara · 26/04/2015 20:53

My dc have never been to school so don't know about deschooling, but ds1 who is very very mathsy definitely enjoys his routine and doing a certain number of things every day. Having a schedule means we avoid the 7pm 'can you set me a poly? I haven't done one today and want to' just as we are about to sit down to dinner! (and the subsequent sulking all the way through dinner when we say no).

The lovely thing about home ed in maths is that you can really take your time to work through the books rather than have to rush through things to fit with a curriculum. There are some really wonderful books he can work through, I can recommend a few if you would like.

JustRichmal · 26/04/2015 21:35

I used to set an hour by hour timetable for dd. The only thing was I hardly ever stuck to it, but it did give us both a starting aspiration to encourage us to get on with things. I would just be there to help him take a relaxed look when he does not manage to do all he set out to do. You cannot always file life into a neat time table, but somehow most of us manage to muddle through.

Also, balance is important: time to build dens and jump puddles. At 10 he is old enough to talk to and point out these things are just as important.

A rounded curriculum, including English and the humanities would also be good.

Dd also left towards the end of primary because she was not learning much. She has now settled into secondary and it is a completely different story, She is loving being at school now.

We never deschooled and it was not a problem.

MillionToOneChances · 26/04/2015 22:55

Liara, I would love some maths book recommendations. Thanks.

Saracen, that's exactly what I'm hoping. He drives the academic stuff, always has, and he's driving the stint of home ed because he wants more time for his interests which encompass all subjects (with SPAG lagging behind but reading wildly popular).

JustRichmal, so interesting that you did what we're aiming to do with good results. Fingers crossed! I completely agree about balance.

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Saracen · 27/04/2015 01:03

To tide you over until Liara returns, here's some maths stuff I like.

Vi Hart, "Doodling in Math Class" series

"Lucky numbers: Marcus du Sautoy explains the mathematics of chance"

"The Number Devil" by Hans Magnus Enzensberger

"Anno's Hat Tricks" by Mitsumasa Anno

MillionToOneChances · 27/04/2015 11:41

Brilliant, thank you! We'll have a look.

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Liara · 27/04/2015 20:02

Sent you a PM (was a bit long as had ds1 next to me telling me not to forget this that and the other!)

itsstillgood · 29/04/2015 20:34

Deschooling is not compulsory, neither does it mean not doing anything academic. It is about recognizing that home ed doesn't have to look like school and finding your own path.

Fwiw mine have done maths and literacy most days since they were 4. We take more days off than school, longer holidays due to the nightmare that is hay fever and a field trip most weeks that means we won't do maths or literacy that day.

JustRichmal · 01/05/2015 19:43

Is he Y5 or Y6. If he I Y5 you could look out for the Junior Maths Challenge for next year. You have to phone round secondary schools to see of they'll take an external candidate, but dd loves doing the UKMT stuff. It is more thinky maths than the curriculum offers.

Saracen · 01/05/2015 20:32

JustRichmal, do you mean the Primary Maths Challenge, for Y5 and Y6? There was an HE parent who coordinated and marked HE entries for several years, so as to avoid the need to find a helpful school. I don't know whether anyone is still doing so but I think it is straightforward, so a new parent could take up the mantle. The cost was just a few pounds per child. At any rate, the past papers are online and are good fun to do.

MillionToOneChances · 01/05/2015 20:37

Thanks JustRichmal. That's already my plan after DS (year 5) got through to the bonus round of the primary maths challenge this year with no practice at all. He's since been really enjoying the past papers of both primary and junior maths challenges. Would also love to do the primary maths challenge again if I can find an HE way.

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Saracen · 01/05/2015 21:48

Million, join this Yahoo group: groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/PMC-Home-Ed/info

I'm not a member of that group anymore - my dd is 15 now - so I don't know what has been happening in the last few years. However, I can see that there has been a little flurry of activity there every autumn, so presumably it's still happening.

Thanks to the kindness of the organising HE parent, it was very easy for my dd to enter. Everything was done by post.

MillionToOneChances · 03/05/2015 16:40

Brilliant, thanks Saracen

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JustRichmal · 03/05/2015 21:12

Saracen, yes there is the primary maths challenge which is sat at home, but then there is also the Junior maths Challenge which is run by UKMT and is aimed at year 7 and 8. It is sat in school only. You have to phone round schools and see firstly if they do it and secondly if they will take an external candidate. Be careful to stress it is the individual competition as one school I phoned though I was asking if dd could be in their team for the team challenge! Dd did it in the equivalent of year 5 and year 6.

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