Home Educating with special needs? Will it make things worse?

[Itsjustmeagain]

Forgive my probably long and rambling post!

My ds is the second of 5 children (the only boy). My other children are doing well and enjoy school. DS also seems to enjoy school but struggles with pretty much everything. He has an IEP and a whole host of things in place at school but his progress is very slow.

He is 8 years old and is behind in all areas, he reads level 5 reading books (my 5 year old it on level 4 to compare) he struggles with them. You cant read most of what he writes, his spelling is awful, for example, he can spell his name but not the shortened version of it . Yesterday he couldn't spell his sisters name trying to make a card (it has 4 letters). His maths is "ok" but he has no concentration at all for the way it is done which means he make massive mistakes, he will sit for 5 minutes and thats pretty much it he will then just start scribbling, his numbers become unrecognisable and he stares into space.

The school have him in a special needs group (which I know he obviously needs to be) but this work is done in exactly the same way as the rest of the class just with less expectation of success. So he still gets the problem that he cant sit and concentrate on it for long enough to actually get through it.

He comes home with a massive bag of homework each week in an attempt to catch him up (even to the others in his group - he is behind even the special needs group now) . This homework is the exact same thing he does at school. So for example he needed to practice writing the letter Z so his homework was to fill a page with letter Zs not great for someone who struggles to do a line let alone a page. He also gets book after book of Biff and chip etc which again they are not the best stories and not exactly encouraging him to read. He is expected to do all of it and this week it included the fabulous item of "please teach him his birthday" as though I haven't been trying that for the last 6 years. This homework takes up most or all of our evening because it takes him so long to read a book, or write a few lines.

Anyway! Last week he had 10 spellings to learn (which he is meant to write down 5 times a day and take in - something which makes him cry and doesn't work, he has NEVER got any right at the test and always scores 0/10 no mater how many tears we get when we are trying to write them over and over). I chose 3, and used photoshop etc to make up a few games, one was the word split in half, for him to feel and move into the right place (like a 2 piece jigsaw for each word) the next was using a guide and placing the individual letters on top, then arranging them without using the guide. I also had him writing the word with chalk outside and on the white board, anything that wasn't siting down writing it over and over.

We spent the whole week working on these three words, and he got them right in the test for the first time in his whole school life he didn't score 0!!He got 3/10! I was so pleased! the comment he came home with was that he didn't complete all of his homework last week. Well no - because we spent literally all week learning these three words. I have tried to talk to the school about it but they just keep pushing learning his phonics sounds which he just cannot do, years of trying and he still can't do it. The are insistent that he NEEDS this huge pack of homework and that is not good enough to concentrate on one thing.

DH and I are seriously worried now, not because we have ambitions of him having a high flying career (!) but because we are worried that left in this situation he will end up not only failing to learn anything in the rush to "catch up" but that he will end up with low self esteem and FEELING a failure. He came home yesterday for example saying how he was stupid because he was in the stupid group at school. I hate that he feels like that just a few days after making a massive breakthrough and learning those words.

We are thinking about taking him out of school altogether, we were talking last night and we pretty much both agree that he needs to go back a few years, to year 1 sort of work and then work at his own pace. What is the point in trying to spell "because" when you cant spell your own nickname??

He has has loads of assessments at school but nothing ever comes up as "wrong" as such he just won't learn. His IQ is actually normal, he isn't dyslexic so really he shouldn't be struggling to this extent and yet he is.

Doe anyone have any experience of home educating a child like this, I am concerned that it may actually make things even worse. I have NO IDEA where to start or even what level he is really at and even less idea what sort of thing I should be teaching him!

Can anyone point me to any suitable resources or information on this?

Also with him already struggling at school I am kind of worried that if I withdraw him the school and social services may get involved as he will be taken out of the special needs program?

Can anyone offer any advice? I am really at my wits end with this!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

[Captainbarnacles1101]

Firstly, I want you to know your frustration with main stream schools and special needs kids is one shared by so many.

I think home school is a last resort but by the sound of things u are right in taking this issue in hand. The wee man needs a total revamp of his education by the sound of it. What's in his IEP? Are they meeting the targets set? Does he have a classroom assistant? What does it say in his statement.

My very good friend was in a similar position with her son who had a dx of Classic Autism. They changed his school to one which although mainstream,has a good reputation with special needs learning. She sends him to school 3 days per week and he is home schooled 2 days per week and she works in partnership with the school to do this.

I don't know the ins and outs but apparently this is well within ur rights to do.

Since she has done this, his behaviour has improved and his speech is better and concentration levels are definately increased.

[lougle]

If you do HE him and you want him to progress academically (I say that because there are different styles of HE and some would say that learning by experience is preferable to sit down learning) then I would suggest that you spend some time thinking and preparing resources.

I use montessori beads with DD2 for maths. Very visual, multisensory.

[Itsjustmeagain]

Captain - his targets in his iep and things like learn a certain number of phonics sounds and sight words. He gets one to one three times a week plus a teacher from a special needs program once a week. He has had this for about 1.5 years now. He doesn't have a formal statement of special needs (not sure of the correct terminology!) he has a "school action plus plan".

His behaviour at school is actually fine and sometimes I think whats why he gets ignored sometimes in the main classroom.

Lougle - I would like him to progress but to be honest I am more interested in getting him ready for life than in exams etc. I want to know he will be able to get some sort of job and actually read say a menu or instruction leaflet!

[InternetFOREVER]

Something is clearly going wrong either with the teaching, or the assessments he's had (or more likely, both!) as school obviously haven't got to the bottom of why he's struggling and how to help him. If I was in your position I would push for a more thorough assessment by an ed psych or a paediatrician, and would definitely consider home schooling/ finding a more specialist school. captainbarnacles's friends set up sounds ideal. I think that you're totally right not to want him to continue "failing" in a mainstream school who aren't meeting his needs. My DS is only in reception but has some SNs and I'll do the same if needs be.
Good luck, he sounds like a lovely little boy and your ideas for helping him with his spellings suggest you'll be a fab home educator!

[Littlemisssunshine72]

Do you have any other concerns? Is it worth asking for a full assessment with a paediatrician and ed psych?
Fwiw, it sounds like you would be great at teaching your child. Your jigsaw idea sounds great, involve his interests as much as possible. I use write from the start with my son- it's a writing scheme which focuses on pre writing skills such as spatial awareness, hand eye co-ordination, etc. I also get him to practise actual words on the iPad. I don't 'force ' him to actually write very often at all, although via the other activities, his writing has improved. He also visits a behavioural optometrist regularly who has told us she wouldn't worry about writing yet, there's a whole load of other issues going on that need to be corrected first(to do with co-ordination/muscles, etc) by doing a variety of exercises.
I do think school sets (some) children up to feel failures. I really wouldn't worry about levels, if he's making progress, that's great.
My son is now 7 and been out nearly a year- best thing I could have done for him. (That's not to say each day is a bed of roses!)

[mummytime]

First - the school sounds awful - at least for SEN. Teaching kids who struggle with the same techniques as has already been tried isn't going to work. They should be using specific targeted techniques to meet their difficulties. It could be that this school is very much a "girls" school, and fails boys. Spelling tests are not way to teach spelling see here.
I would request to see the SENCO and ask for specifics on what they are doing to help him. Do they have any plans to get him tested by an educational psychologist?
On his IEP does it have specific, and timed goals? How often is it reviewed are you as parents involved in the review process? Does it state who is responsible for which actions?

I would also suggest going to the GP and getting his hearing checked. Getting his sight checked. Then maybe considering a sight check by someone who is a specialist with visual issues connected to dyslexia (I'm not saying he is dyslexic, but knowing if he has issues with his vision is crucial and not all sight tests are the same).

HE can be fine, but if he has underlying issues they will not suddenly disappear. Get as much help and diagnosis as you can done before you have to pay for it all yourself.

[Littlemisssunshine72]

X- post!

[Itsjustmeagain]

Internet - he has had an assessment from someone who came into the school (It took a day and consisted of a number of different tests and activities through the day) . This basically said he was not very good at reading and writing but didn't suggest a cause - which wasn't very useful!

Little - I have no other concerns, he is friendly and happy with no behavioural problems, it is literally that he struggles with learning! I will have a look into write from the start and see if it would help my ds at all!

mummy - I feel bad complaining about the school, they seem to have put a lot of effort in - it just doesn't seem to work. I think maybe it is a school which caters more for girls - my other children are all girls and they love it
His IEP does have goals for each term and we go in each term for them to show us. He has had his vision and hearing checked which were ok.

The only person who ever suggested what may be an actual problem was one of his teachers last year who said she thought he may have an auditory processing problem plus fine motor problems (my dh has fine motor control problems as well so that makes sense). The school insist he doesn't have these problems though and so he has not been tested for this - only his IQ and dyslexia.


I have never met the SENCO I am not sure who he/she is!

[mummytime]

The SENCO should be present at all IEP meetings (it could be the Head).

If you think it could be Auditory Processing or Dyspraxia then diagnosis is via the GP. It might be worth requesting a paediatrician referral.

My DCs primary put a lot of effort in. Unfortunately for my DC it would have been better if: they had employed less in house teachers and bought in LA help, had spotted one of mine was underachieving (still not diagnosed but gets help at secondary), and spent less time talking about how inclusive they are and realised high achievers can have SN too. But it was a good school for boys - runs after assembly etc.

Have you talked to him? My DC have 20/20 vision, but one told me at one time how words moved on the page - a specialist said that part of the problem at the time was that he didn't have a dominant eye (which explained why he randomly missed words, as his eyes swapped). Another uses a colour overlay when singing.

[Saracen]

Well, I think my eight year old may be similar to yours, though it's always hard to tell from a description.

I totally disagree with the idea of home education as a last resort. For me, especially for my child with special needs, it was a first resort. I was sure that it would be far more appropriate to her than school. Every time I read a post like yours I am more convinced of this.

It's undeniable that from the point of view of the child's time, home education is far more efficient than school. It is directed at exactly what the child needs and there is someone on hand to help. The child doesn't get "left behind" because he isn't pushed to move on before he has mastered what he's working on. He learns according to whatever methods have been found most helpful to him. Material can focus on his interests. There is no waiting for classroom management such as the teacher disciplining other children.

Your son is at school for six hours a day and then comes home with huge amounts of homework. That isn't on. If he were in a more efficient learning environment, he could be spared that.

Your concerns about your son's self esteem are ones which I'd share. For more about how experiences of academic failure affect a child's ability to learn, read John Holt's "How Children Fail" - but only do that if you are pretty sure you want to home educate. You'll only be depressed by it if you read it and he stays at school.

My eight year old's attainment is no higher than your son's, but she is a sunny child who has never received the message that she's a failure. I think this is because she doesn't spend large amounts of time being presented with tasks which are far beyond her, or being compared (however implicitly) with dozens of other children to whom these things come easily.

Because my daughter has time on her hands, she can do things she enjoys and which she is good at, and that is also good for the self esteem. Basic academic skills are important in life, but no more important than a host of other skills which the child needs to acquire as well. A child who struggles with academics is bound to get discouraged if he spends so much of his day in a place where academic skills are valued above all else. At school, does anyone have time to really notice and acknowledge his resilience, his kindness, his talent for invention, his persuasive ability, his flair for artistic design, his understanding of how houses are built, his interest in animal behaviour?

Neither Social Services nor the school has any role to play in the case of a child who has been taken out of school to be home educated. If you decide it is the right thing to do, you'll have the freedom to decide how to go about it. It does take time to discover exactly what your child needs, but fortunately there is no hurry. It will come to you.

[Badvoc123]

Op...I was where you are 4 years ago with my ds1.
I would really recommend checking out engaging eyes.co.uk and the Tinsley house support thread.
Don't despair....there is stuff you can do to help your child. Just don't expect school to do it :(
Good luck x

[lougle]

HE isn't an idea of last resort, no. Not at all. Equally, it isn't a panacea for all ills. DD2 is no different now to when she was in school in terms of what makes her tick. She's just less anxious because the thing that was making her anxious was school.

[bronya]

HE or not, there is a learning issue and you need to know what it is, in order to help your child learn. If there was an Ed Psych report done by school, don't accept that the 'nothing wrong' diagnosis was necessarily true. We had an awful Ed Psych at one of the schools I taught at. Never told you anything you didn't know, and never gave any real reasons for the problems. In contrast, a friend in a different county had a fantastic one, who'd tell you the issue (e.g. visual memory, auditory memory, processing, visual disturbances, auditory problems, attention deficit etc). If you know what the issue is, you can plan what you do with your child most effectively, and their learning can progress.

I personally would NOT leave a child like your DS in his current school. They are throwing everything they can at him, but nothing is working. It's the madness of doing the same thing over and over and somehow expecting a different outcome. A friend of mine had a little girl like this - poor visual memory. School gave up on her, but with 2x half hour sessions at home with a good tutor she reached national expectations and began to surpass them. A motivated parent like yourself, with the right professional advice, should be able to replicate that.

[bronya]

(that was obviously weekly x2 sessions!)

[FionaJNicholson]

Hi

Just to say that the SEN system has changed and School Action and School Action Plus will be disappearing during the coming year and be replaced by something called "SEN support". You can now request a statutory assessment for an Education Health and Care Plan (though this wouldn't get you any support if you then decided to home educate)

You can deregister children with special needs in just the same way as you do for children without SEN, by writing a letter to the school and asking for your child's name to be removed from the roll. What happens next will depend on the local authority where you live.