HomeEducating 8yo w/ 3yo twins?

[Thinking2014]

I'm seriously considering home educating my 8yo for various reasons (school is holding her back, she wants to do more but is restricted by the curriculum, school routine means as a family we have no time for anything else, shes beginning to lose interest in learning what the school are teaching etc etc)...

My worry atm is, having twins (3yo) I've found they take up more of my time so I'm unable to give my DD as much as id like. I do feel this may be a result of the school routine, us not having enough time together...

Basically I'm wanting to hear stories from others who home ed with different aged children and how it works for you all?

Many thanks, i appreciate any feedback x

[Velvetbee]

I HE 4, now aged 16, 14, 9 and 7. We've HE for 8 years.

They've all learned to be flexible, to ask for my help when I'm available, to be self reliant and patient when I'm not.

What has struck me over the years is how little you need to do to make a difference, chat on walks and over meals, watch the news together, read to them at bedtime, encourage every interest. Sometimes mine get masses of good quality 1:1 time every day, sometimes we go through periods when I have to concentrate on 1 or 2 - when the younger ones were born the others had to entertain themselves more,

• when DC3 was diagnosed with cancer he obviously got the most attention and the others were shunted off all over the place

and recently when the older 2 were doing GCSE's the young ones went a bit feral but we're making up for that now.

I suppose what I'm saying is you will will have utterly mad days when it feels as though you're not dividing your time equally but it all balances out and they turn out fine.

[Thinking2014]

Thanks, that's what I was thinking. Atm I'm still having to work around the twins nap at 11am, then I have to wake them after 20-odd-minutes otherwise they won't sleep at bedtime (meaning I'll have less time in the evening, meaning less sleep for the school run the next day!) So everything we do is usually to fit in with the school routine.

I'm hoping after talking more with HE's I'll feel a bit more confident to take that step and write to the school. I think the only other thing that worries me is the process after....with the LA and I've read that sometimes social services get involved? Or at least someone from that team...

Thanks again for your help, its great talking to HEs!

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hello OP.

A different situation all together, but just wanted to say that a couple of hours a day is all it takes for dc to do what it would take all day to do at school.
Then if you break that down into what would be lessons, even if you aren't teaching iyswim, that's 4 or more different times your child could be learning structured work. Add to that the time you are talking, walking, shopping etc, your dd will learn a lot.
Of course there are the times your twins will take a nap as well when you and dd can have time together, working or playing.
Good luck to you OP
It sounds quite doable.

[Tinuviel]

I DS1 out at the end of year 1 and DS2 was about to start so just finished nursery and we started HE. DD was just coming up to 3 so we had 1 term (but she slept for a good while in the afternoon) before she started nursery and was there every morning for 5 terms. This worked really well and she started HE at nearly 5. They are now all secondary and over the years things have been great but I am glad that I used nursery for her to give me some time to focus on the boys' education. Having said that, we are pretty structured - I would imagine that if you are more autonomous, it's probably easier to do with littlies around.

[Saracen]

If you have a partner, you can also make use of any time your partner is at home. One of you can do things with your older child while the other plays with the toddlers.

When I had a baby, the only regularly scheduled learning time I had with my older child was working on reading at bedtime, while my partner looked after the baby for a bit. Of course, we were quite autonomous and I didn't feel the need for any other sit-down learning time with her. So as Tinuviel says, the amount of time you'll need to free up will depend partly on your educational approach.

Other HE families I know are often seen at the park or soft play where the younger kids can play while older ones spend time doing a few pages of maths with the parent. I should think that would provide a good motivation to crack on with their work so they can join in!

[Thinking2014]

Thanks everyone, thats been really helpful. I guess I could cope, its just a matter of giving the boys something to do whilst I work with my eldest but I think mostly we'll be doing things together.

[Purplelooby]

If I do go ahead and HE mine, my youngest will use her 15 hours free with the childminder, although I think the outings will be great for her as well as DS. Not sure whether that's helpful but not everyone realises that CMs can be used for the preschool funding (although I'm not sure whether ALL CM can). My CM is bloody amazing though. If she could HE my kids for me I'd be a happy working mummy :)

[Thinking2014]

purplelooby we don't do cms or anything like that, personal preference but definitely something we would not consider.
I'm sure if needed I could always have my partner take the boys or something :)

[Purplelooby]

Fair-doos :)

[Seriouslyffs]

Is she happy at school? Apart from a feeling that school
Is holding her back all your reasons seem to be about family convenience.

[Nigglenaggle]

All your reasons sounded child centred to me thinking

[jaynebxl]

Does she want to quit school and be HE?

[Thinking2014]

She isn't happy at school, hasn't 'fit' in with anyone for a couple years now which is affecting her (obviously), she does want to be HEd, she doesn't cope well with the school structure & learning has become more of a battle then an enjoyment for her except for the odd subject they cover (for limited time) like rocks or Egyptians.

And I can not expand her knowledge whilst shes in school because my days are literally revolved around school run, cleaning and getting ready for school run once again :-\ it makes me highly stressed which makes me no fun to be around, I have no time to take my boys out or even my daughter, she's upset that she never sees her family because she's always in school when they're free, when she misses a day of school through illness or if her brothers are too ill to take out and I can't get her to school I feel guilty and stressed...I hate hearing how her teacher speaks to her, treating all the children inconsistently, I hate not knowing who is around my daughter, I had no idea who her pe teacher was until I seeked him out myself, and I was unsettled by the stories I heard about how he uses his mobile whilst they got changed...complaints were made (not by me) and the children had to be changed with the classroom door wide open :-/ my daughter was very unhappy about this, and began hating pe, she doesn't want to have to undress in front of 30 other kids, boys & girls or in front of teachers.

This is just to name some other reasons....but ultimately I would not be doing this if it wasn't best for her. I know I can & will educate her to a better standard than any school ever could & I know she will be happy to learn, something she lost these last few years.

But whatever anyone says to criticise my reasons I don't care, I know what's best for my family regardless of outside opinions, I have thought this through thoroughly, its hardly a decision to be taken lightly.

And once again I'm grateful for the support received here :)

[Saracen]

:-) (applause) :-)

[Thinking2014]

Lol :)

[Seriouslyffs]

Thinking they all sound like very sound reasons. Sorry if you felt challenged but your original post didn't mention what a hostile environment is for your dd.

[Thinking2014]

seriouslyffs my original post did mention reasons why I'm going to HE...ok I didn't go into as much detail but the reasons are there.

My DD wasn't (as far as I know) bullied in school and to an outsider (especially if they read her end of year report) would probably question why I'm taking her out if she's doing well...but I know she isn't doing as well as she should/could be. And the end of year reports (especially this last one) is obviously the teachers way of showing he's out done himself and can put another tick in the box.

That's all school is, nothing to do with the children, its all about getting that mark, ticking the box so in turn ofsted can tick the box and the government can give them their approval and what not....its all beaucracy and doesn't come down to what the children need.

This is why we get such a headache as HEs, this is why the government in many countries are trying to stop HE (if you're not aware look it up, its true) because it doesn't conform to their plan for society. You're taking the next generation out of their box and giving them free rein to learn what they want & not just what the government wants them to learn. Well I don't want my children to be taken advantage of by so called professionals, I want them to learn whatever they want (that's appropriate obviously) & when they want, how they want, where they want (I think you get the picture!) :)

Sorry for my rant....got a bit carried away ;)