Any regrets about home educating?

(13 Posts)
Nigglenaggle Tue 18-Mar-14 20:08:11

I am trying to look at all perspectives before we make our decision on what to do when it's time for DS to start school... Everyone seems really positive about home ed and that's great, think I really want to do it but I feel there must surely be some negatives?? What do people think are the downsides? Does anyone have regrets about doing it or wish they hadn't? I just want to get a balanced picture of what to expect...

bebanjo Tue 18-Mar-14 22:01:37

I'll start couse I had a bad day yesterday.
DD had had a very busy weekend and was grumpy and argumentative as soon as she got up.
Asking her to do anything resulted in another meltdown.

DD has never been to school so has no idea how Good she has it.

Today we were back to normal and I know school kids have bad days at weekends.

bochead Tue 18-Mar-14 23:48:05

reduced earning capacity outside the home?

bobbysgirlfirst Wed 19-Mar-14 07:15:18

My only regret is that i sent them to school in the first place.

streakybacon Wed 19-Mar-14 07:15:49

Studying for exams and taking them is expensive, and could be prohibitive for some families. It costs more money to HE than some people will say because you have to pay for everything, no allowances from LA.

FavadiCacao Wed 19-Mar-14 09:27:54

I too wish I had taken ds out of school sooner or never sent him in the first place.

Like streaky says, HE can be expensive. It seems to be more expensive as the years go by.

I am currently formally teaching 9 subjects -7 at GCSE level- which can be really tiring; especially when squeezed for time by several activities (sports, music lessons, clubs and HE events).

That's it. Other than being tiring, expensive at times and wishing for more hours in a day so to catch up with housework I can't see many disadvantages and certainly no regrets. smile

lapumpkin Wed 19-Mar-14 10:29:32

I constantly ask myself this question too niggle. My DCs are only young (5 and 3) but older DC (reception-age) has not been to school. We are only at the very beginning of our HE journey though so hopefully you will get more answer from experienced HE people. Some that I can think of that I have struggled with:

- I think that paying for all the different things that they might get to experience free at school is one negative (drama, choir, sport etc).
- Constantly doubting yourself and worrying if you're making the right decision is another (this could just be me).
- Explaining yourself to friends and family who think you are wrong/ weird/ 'don't have the right personality'.
- Potential for developing your own career and interests is obviously a bit more limited.
- Needing to be very organised and on the ball to create opportunities for learning/ play/ meeting up with other HE families/ exposing DCs to different things. This requires quite a lot of energy I think… which obviously takes energy away from other things that you might want to do.
- Looking at DCs the same age and being amazed at what they can read/write and worrying that your DCs are playing 'too much'..!! smile

Sorry - that's quite a list. These are my own negatives from my experience so far… many other people might not have any of these! I would be interested to hear other people's views too. (Who are actually HE-ing, not just people with children in school commenting on what they think HE children are missing out on!)

Best of luck with your decision.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 19-Mar-14 12:54:20

My only regret was not knowing about H.ed when our older 2 were younger. I wish they all could have been H.ed and never gone to school.

Saracen Thu 20-Mar-14 04:29:21

Disadvantages, yes. Regrets, no. My kids love it so much and it is such a good fit for them educationally and socially that the disadvantages feel insignificant.

Disadvantages:

It was tiring not getting much of a break from my full-on older child, mainly when she was aged 4-5. We didn't yet have in place the all-day playdates / childcare swaps and the childminder while I worked p/t from home which developed later, and she wasn't a child to occupy herself for even a few minutes at a time. Things got easier in that respect with every passing year, and my younger child was never very demanding.

I haven't worked much, so we haven't saved for retirement. But then, a large proportion of people I know are in similar circumstances. And I am not sure we would be much better off if I'd taken advantage of school-as-childcare, because I still only would have wanted to work during school hours and there aren't many well-paid jobs which are so flexible.

That's all I can think of, really. The negative comments and self-doubts which others mentioned have never bothered me much because I have always had these laughing children in front of me, reminding me it is the right choice. My teenager actually tells me regularly how happy she is to be HE: her friends who go to school are so overscheduled, so tired, so stressed. Whatever negativity there was about HE has melted away entirely with the years. We've been greatly helped by spending so much time in the home ed community, so life without school is our "normal".

TickTock123 Mon 16-Jun-14 01:50:44

I have a Hugh regret,
That is when my child was hurt at his playgrounp, from 3 yrs
And not allowed out, and not allowed to join in spots day, and taken out of his play group N restrained, MY ONE AND ONLY HUGH REGRET,THAT I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT WAS by not taking the child out sooner,also when some child sat on a chair with my child's hand underneath it for the whole session of story time, and no1 noticed,
Then at school for a further 18 months when it all started happening again them screaming with tears and snotty nose blowing in the wind,again and again each am and listening to all the kids in the playground, screaming and being told that their kids also do the same and mine was waking up in the night 4am until time for school,also we the mummy and daddy,being at school every week, in the end the head said we were in our right to home edd, and no way would I be able to flexi learn, at the school
I can say why the fuss did I let it go on and on for all this time, it has taken until now to get my child back
Only this week have they started to play and act like the five old, and not a baby under the mummy's skirts
How depressing we were and just what am improvement,
I even applied to work and be their helper and for what
I was called in because my child was running out of the classroom and out of the gate almost getting hit by a teacher's car in the car park, and the electric gate is at child's reach, for them to leave what should be the secured unit

Made up trials to keep them at school, for the sen to monitor them, guess what they have come up with nothing, they are healthy and happy
At the test I was told to give the school a change
18 months and then they wanted a yr 6 pupil, to take charge leaving him to be helping my child to do their job, and taking away the senior child's learning educational time at school
How would you feel .....?...regrets ....?
Thanks for asking

maisiechain Mon 14-Jul-14 11:01:10

No I don't have regrets, but then I don't believe in regrets really. You live & learn, grow & experience and everything you do leads to where you are today.
Do I have doubts sometimes or wonder what life would be like for them if they went to school? Yes.
There are pro's and con's but I still think educationally, socially, emotionally that home ed is better than school. The main dis-advantage for my kids is the lack of independence they are able to experience. This matters to my DD, though she is lucky that she has been able to attend and HE group one day a week without me. She needs that, it's healthy. There are other groups for when they are secondary age which the child can go to alone, so I think this aspect will improve and opportunities will arise as they get older.
The main disadvantage I guess is the loss of a second income. My DH is very supportive, but he does has the financial weight of providing firmly on his shoulders and I think it can get to him at times.
I believe in what we are doing though, and though they may choose school at some point, I will never regret the years we spend HE'ing. I consider it a gift.

Sulis Sun 20-Jul-14 11:49:14

No regrets. Disadvantages - less earning capacity; have to be creative in order to get to do things that can only be done sans children; rude people (mostly online) who think HE is nuts. That's it smile

Happiestsinglemumever Fri 01-Aug-14 12:43:05

Live in Croatia. Been HE DS (16 yo) for a year now and loving it. I have learnt so much. No regrets. Expensive but incredibly liberating. Lucky that could take a few years out thanks to XP. For sure losing out on earnings but after putting business first all my DS's life it was time to balance things out. Much easier to learn without all the frenzied rushing about going to school seems to generate. I have enjoyed helping my DS studying at home for IGCSEs and now starting A levels. Also enjoying travelling with him (off-peak). I wish all parents and teenagers could have as much fun as we do.

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