Considering home Ed What would you do?

[MissPitstop]

DS2 is 13 and has been having problems for the last few years with his behavior in school since moving up to secondary school. He has been on report and even been excluded. When I talk to him about school and why he gets into trouble he gives a few reasons, he messes about because he struggles to concentrate, is bored and he gets angry about 'stupid rules'

I home schooled DS1 for a couple of years when he was younger due to his anxiety and the change in him was amazing. I am considering it again for DS2 as I dont think a classroom is an ideal environment for him but am worried about his behavior and attitude preventing us from doing anything at all but argue

[sugaplumfurry]

MissPitstop I can't really be of any help, so just see this as me bumping the thread for you . I have just started a thread for opinions on whether or not to HE my Ds 8 who detests school. What you are worrying about with your DS2 is one of the many issues that I have also been worrying about also if my DS detests school so much will this be the same if I try to 'teach' him at home IYSWIM? or will the removal of strict rules, the chance to spend more time on the things he excels at etc actually have a positive impact on him? I don't know...will be watching your thread

[Saracen]

MissPitstop, what sort of problems do you now have with your son's behaviour at home? Do you think that home ed would cause more or less conflict between the two of you than you're having now, and why?

Do you have any "stupid rules" at home which he objects to?

[curlew]

What sort of rules does he think are stupid?

[MissPitstop]

He doesnt like rules like having to wear his blazer at all times outside lessons, having to write in black ink and often ends up in trouble for defying such rules. He also gets bored very easily and gets into trouble for not concentrating or messing about. At home he is ok but sometimes tries to push boundaries (just like any teenager really). My main problem with him when I discipline him for being in trouble in school, he argues that school give him detentions so he shouldnt be in trouble at home. If he wasnt at school so I wasnt having to challenge him on his behaviour in school I think things would be OK. My main worry is that the anger he shows in school will be directed at me if Im the one teaching him.

[ommmward]

So don't teach him. Not being facetious here. Read up about unschooling. And get a copy, for both of you thread, of "the teenage liberation handbook: how to quit school and get a life"

[ommmward]

Don't know where "thread" appeared from!

[morethanpotatoprints]

I think you should look at your relationship before you decide and obviously talk it over with him, but not before you have it sorted in your own head.
At his age he is capable of spending time on his own which is a bonus for you both to have some space when you need it.
Do you think he would get on with things himself with a little bit of direction? Or would he see being H. ed as one long holiday.
Maybe it would be the best decision who knows.
What sort of things does he enjoy doing?

[maggi]

Hello
It looks like your son has definite views on what is fair. Probably the audience will be split on whether you punish as well as the school. For example if you punish him for not doing his chores at home, would you then expect the school to discipline him for the same offence as well? But obviously you need to back up the school and show that you think they were right to discipline him.

My ds had problems at school and his behaviour got really out of hand and he began turning violent at home and not doing anything that was asked. He changed the second that he left school to home ed. All the bad behaviour instantly vanished and has stayed away. He is a lovely 13 year old now. We have a close relationship. Until you take them out of school, you don't realize how much you have grown apart from your children. He will happily write a page now whereas he struggled to write 3 lines before.(dyslexic)

[curlew]

I don't understand why you discipline him at home for being in trouble at school.