Part-time home education - any experiences/opinions?

(15 Posts)
larahusky Thu 11-Jul-13 23:24:39

My 10 y o daughter is in the first, middle, college system. She has never liked school -very shy and unconfident. Had just settled down in small first school, and now is in year 5 at a huge middle school. There are aspects she likes but finds the whole experience very tiring and stressful.

She is only a few weeks into the term when she is throwing things around, highly emotional, wetting the bed etc (an entirely different person from in the holidays). she is behind at school - a very late developer I think - but is making good progress.

I have always shied away from home ed as I think she would be very lonely and needs to fit in with her peer group etc. And I like time to myself...

But her stress at school has caused me to consider maybe taking her out of school for a few days each week and giving her some quieter time at home. Where she can learn things at her own pace and maybe gain in confidence.

I have no idea whether this will work just thinking of plan b if next year proves as traumatic (for all the family!). I am sure the school would find it difficult to swallow, don't want to go down this route - would much rather have her at school - but I am finding it difficult to watch her stamina and confidence dwindle further.

I would welcome any views. This is all a new idea for me...

ommmward Fri 12-Jul-13 00:15:32

I'm going to be really brutal here. School sounds like a terrible terrible fit for your daughter. How long does it take in the holidays to get the cheerful girl back who you remember from toddlerdom? You could have that girl back for good if you wanted; every term you delay and see-how-it-goes makes it harder for that girl to bounce back in the future and in the long term.

In your shoes, I'd be finding out what sort of HE community there is in your area (my area is very well served - if my children were so inclined, we could be out with other HEers every day of the week; I know it can be more isolated in some rural areas).

Someone who is struggling to fit in with their peer group needs to find peer groups in which they DO thrive - maybe with younger children (we've often had older but unconfident children just taken out of school who come and hang out with my smaller ones while I drink tea with the mother. Eventually the older children grow their wings again, and they drift away into more exciting social encounters :-) )

The time to yourself is a challenge, yes, but one you would find solutions to. Some families do a lot of tit-for-tat childcare with other HE families; some families work on a bit of a parenting shift system so the HEing one gets time alone too.

curlew Fri 12-Jul-13 00:33:48

Do you know what it is about school she finds difficult? What does her class teacher say about her?

larahusky Fri 12-Jul-13 19:28:28

Thank you Ommward, will look into it. Really don't think I could take full-time though and although I am quite an educated person, she will not listen to me or learn from me!

Curlew, I think it is a mixture of how huge it is, and that she is a late developer and has to try to keep up, and the concentration required, and the stamina required. I don't think it is anyone thing. She is always ill before the end of term (properly ill) and I think it is just really exhausting her.

I think she would be much better if we had a normal primary/secondary system because she took a long time but was very settled at her old first school.

FionaJNicholson Fri 12-Jul-13 19:47:24


Are you in England? The Government has recently made it unattractive for schools to agree to a flexi-schooling or part-time arrangement, because the register has to be marked for the child being absent.

I've got information about this on my website.

chocolatecrispies Fri 12-Jul-13 20:12:27

She sounds very unhappy - throwing things around, wetting the bed. Do you know for sure she is not lonely and having trouble fitting in now? School can be a very lonely place if you don't have friends. I would look into home education properly - many people don't teach their children at all and it is probably very different to how you imagine it would be. I was miserable at school, my parents kept sending me 'so I didn't miss out on the social side' - it took me into my 20s to recover socially from the experience and I am still sometimes angry with them for not seeing how unhappy I was. Don't ignore her sadness.

larahusky Fri 12-Jul-13 22:36:28

FionaJNicholson, What is your website? Or where perhaps!

ChocolateCrispies - Thanks. I was the same at school which is why I have had so many meeting etc with them through over the last years about my daughter. I know it is a long time to be miserable, but I am still not sure that full-time HE would be a good solution.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 12-Jul-13 22:47:15

Hello OP.

You have the summer holidays to have a look at what H.ed could mean for you. At first I didn't know if I could cope with dd all day, but its amazing how you can make it work for you. There is no right or wrong way to do things as we are all different. The freedom to do things how you want and when you want means that you can be flexible. I read lots of different threads on here, several books on the subject, educational papers, forums and websites and spoke to several families.
Your daughter sounds so miserable poor love, she would be herself again in a relatively short space of time.

mam29 Fri 12-Jul-13 23:09:00

As its a middle school am i right thinking its year 5-year 9 thats a long time.

you can try propose flexi schooling but i tried last year in dd primary she was keystage 1 year 2 and they refused.

a middel school still have pressure of year 6 sats results so might say no as they consider year 5 important year.

if you feel able to do it i would home ed ad something dont sound right or seek out smaller school.

are you windsor way by any chance?

we dont have middle system but always thourght sounded better.

good luck op hope your daughters happier soon.

larahusky Sat 13-Jul-13 19:54:54

Thanks very much. We are in Somerset.

ommmward Sat 13-Jul-13 23:09:04

Lara - if you're in north somerset, there's a really really friendly and very lively HE group in Wrington every Thursday (they might be stopping for the school summer holidays, though)

there seems to be quite a lot going on near weston too.

larahusky Sun 14-Jul-13 19:01:52

Thanks, Ommmward. Where do you find out info about these things - very new area for me!

ommmward Sun 14-Jul-13 20:12:48

Bristol home ed group on facebook

yahoo group for north somerset

home ed in the south west

Just message me if you want more help but don't want to tell the entire world your location smile

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 20:16:10

I would either take her right out and HE or find a different school.
Going part time is going to make it even more difficult to fit in.

larahusky Sun 14-Jul-13 21:39:51

Different school is actually quite difficult round here. There is one other just as huge as this one and otherwise it is primary schools that will end next year anyway.

Thanks very much, Ommmward. Will be in touch if I decide on this route and will look at the links and maybe read some books.

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