My advice would be dont be afraid to take your DS out of school and he. I did something very similar and it was a fantastic experience. For background my DS was very happy at his reception school. Then we moved abroad and he was very unhappy at the 2 schools he attended. At the last school he was bullied, the school did nothing and in retrospect I kept him in for too long as I just couldnt believe the teachers didnt want to help him.
An incident last december was the final straw and I told my dh there was no way he was going back to that school. Where we live it is only possible to HE for max 1 year. We applied for an International School and expected he would start in August 2013.
Well the vast majority of the HE experience was so positive for my DS and for our relationship. It was just lovely. He was just so happy to be away from the environment he was unhappy in. He was also able to explore areas that he was really interested in. We followed in a flexible way a ciruculum (which I cant spell!) and a time table. But if something took our interest we just went with it. He was just so happy and relaxed - even my Mum noticed the change in him over Skype. my younger ds went to school.
Now he is at school -a place came up more quickly than we expected and now he is really happy at his new school and no bullying.
I also explained to my son (when he was at school) that DH and I were working to improve his situation and that while we might not talk about what we were doing but he could always ask me.
Some boys dont always talk about what is happening to them- my son didnt. I would find out by accident or see behavioural changes. The best friend of my DS (in the same class and also unhappy) thought his parents didnt love him bec they were sending him to school which he had told them he hated.
Sorry its an epic post but really what I am trying to say is if your gut says HE then go for it. Apart from anything else it may give your ds a refuge from school, time to recover himself and school is always a possibilty again in the future.
You do seem to have been unlucky. Have you talked to DS and asked him about HE? It might be the best option with a view to getting back for secondary. Have you good secondary schools? Why not explore the local HE scene -some are really good and some are not-see if the have good group activities.
My 8 year old child started a lovely small school when he was 4 but when we moved 5 miles away we thought that it was best to move the child to a local school. The child was half way through the year 1 group when we did this.
However, the local school was useless, bad teaching - terrible long term supply - child getting bored and bullying a big issue. So we moved the child half way through year 2 class. Thinking this was the best option - the child did a half day in another local school and said that they quite liked this school.
Been at this school for the last two years now. In Year 4 class. Headteacher was a big reason we choose this school - since my child has been there, two friends left to go to a better school, headteacher is constantly applying for new jobs and wants to move on a.s.a.p. My child doesn't know this.
My child just keeps on saying that they are having problems with children picking, calling names etc. Today when I collected child from school - some of the children were holding the door back so that my child couldn't get into the cloakroom - a parent/carer yelled at the children to let my child in. The children just giggled and said something horrible. I couldn't believe that the children could all be so nasty. The school is having a huge problem with behaviour issues at the moment, not such a nice school that we assumed.
I can't move the child to another new school - Going into Year 5 in September - not a settling environment to change schools - the only option I have been considering is perhaps home education. I am a qualified primary teacher and therefore have all the resources and time as I haven't got back to work to do this. My child always seemed to be a confident happy child and just seems to have gone into a quiet, unhappy child. I don't know what to do.
I have spoken to the school several times about this and have recently queried their behaviour techniques.