Why on earth home educate??

(101 Posts)
plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:02:33

I am an extremely bright (top first from Oxford, PhD, post-doc, research career etc) person and I push my children to acheive their most at school etc, but I cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to home educate. I would go so far as to say it's selfish to keep your child at home and inflict upon them your idea of what they should learn and become. Hope to get some good reasons!

akaemmafrost Mon 19-Nov-12 12:36:13

I've one child in MS education who is thriving and one who I HE. One cannot function at school, SN, self harming, aggression, totally unsympathetic environment. I read once that a primary school teacher said "some children could be ready for school at three, some will never be ready". I think that sums it up completely.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 12:37:45

For someone who describes themselves as "extremely bright" you appear not to be capable of thinking "outside the box". Children are home schooled for so many varied reasons. You idea of keeping a child at home and "inflicting" "your idea of what they should learn and what they should become " is laughable.

How on earth have you formed such a limited view??

OK - Some good reasons why families home school : We travel a lot and it suits us to educate our children with us on the road so we remain together as a family. I don't consider myself "selfish".

Others we know home school because they are geographically isolated - the nearest school many hours away. Two of my daughters friends live on boats and have done so since they were babies and are part of the cruising community. Another lives in Thailand where her parents have set up a refuge for Karen women & children. Dd's godmother home schools her autistic son with great results - he, like you, is "very bright".

We have 2 friends who are gymnasts and they flexi school as they do 28 hrs in the gym each week - they do 2.5 hrs of contact school a day.

We have met home edders that just didn't thrive at school for one reason or another. Bullying an issue in one case that wasn't resolved and led to great unhappiness.

My dds belong to a teenage home school forum and there are kids they have met on line who are not well enough to attend school, one with social anxiety and another with an auto immune issue.

We meet lots of other home edders on the road and I am yet to meet the parent you describe. I am so grateful I have the opportunity to spend endless unhurried hours with my dds who I would describe as such open, big hearted, endlessly curious .....and did I mention "bright" souls.

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 12:42:13

You don't sound "very bright" op.
You sound crass and insensitive.

Hmm, for someone claiming to be bright, you appear quite the opposite, for one thing your two posts on this thread don't agree with each other - first you say you can't think of any reason to home educate, then you go on to say you can understand it if the child is unhappy/has certain needs.

So really you just want a good old judge of some very specific people who you are involved with.

Why didn't you just say that?

Also, just to stretch that big brain of yours further, has it occured to you that whatever you saw was just a snapshot and not a true representation of what that child's education/home life is really like?

And more than a little bit goady.
I's go so far as to say this thread is started by someone, big brain or not, who fancies a fight.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:58:35

I observed lessons at school, so I am saying for children with special needs or who are unhappy at school I get it.

"They would rather have unique individuals that learn naturally and in tune with their personalities. They would rather nurture and encourage their child to reach their true potential."

But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school, and all the fun and experiences they have there. My children are unique, learning fast and are being nurtured and encouraged to reach their potential as well.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:03:00

tilbatilba
so would you home educate without the exceptional circumstances, of which you have described some?

LoonyRationalist Mon 19-Nov-12 13:06:55

You know I know next to nothing about HE but even I can see that a brilliant child/adult ratio plus an adult capapble and who is in tune with a child's emotional and academic needs would be a huge bonus.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:09:48

I gave you a whole lot of reasons - you asked for "good" ones - I gave you "good" ones - now you say they are "not enough"!!!!

PlainJayne, we don't all live the suburban dream, we don't all like institutions and institutional learning, not all jobs are 9-5...some of us circle the globe for work, some children are not healthy, happy or suited to school etc etc

Suggest you google famous home schoolers - there are some really bright buttons amongst them!!

so the boy you obseved was in school? and yet you formed opinions about he from this?

jomidmum Mon 19-Nov-12 13:14:20

Reasons we home ed:
DD: She was humiliated at school
her special educational needs were not addressed in an appropriate way
she had panic attacks
she made herself sick on Sunday evenings at the thought of school
she was too tired to pursue the after school activities which she loves
she was sexually harassed by another 7 year old and the school could not manage this correctly to protect her
she was deeply unhappy
in school holidays she was a totally carefree, happy, laughing fun girl

DS: he was rather bored
why should he have to learn Tudor dancing for half an hour each week, when he loves science, maths, statistics, sports, etc?
he was bullied on and off for 3 years

Lots of reasons! Most of all, we want to bring our children up with different values to those that schools teach, we want the freedom to teach them about sexuality etc when we feel they are ready to, in the way we feel is right for our family. A huge thing is for their love of learning to come from within themselves, not to be imposed externally from people who don't really know them.

TeamEdward Mon 19-Nov-12 13:21:58

My son is HE because there is no room at our chosen school (where his brother attends). But as we do more of it, the more I can really see it paying off for him.

Why on earth send kids to school?

I was an extremely bright child, did well in all of my subjects until I got to high school and got bullied and then pressured into subjects I wasn't interested in. I would go as far to say it's selfish to want to send your kids to school and inflict some random teacher's ideas of what they should learn and become on them.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:22:13

Please nobody think that everyone with a "top Oxford first" is like this. sad

I don't think we do
I personally think the OP may be stretching the truth somewhat

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:23:24

Sorry posts crossed. I don't see them as particularly exceptional circumstances - there are so many children that are home schooled for reasons other than not fitting in to school.

To answer your question I would certainly homeschool again in a heartbeat even if I had a very different life. As fulfilling as having children - homeschooling for me is hard to beat. It is such a creative, wonderful way to live - I love learning as much as the children - we have a wide and wonderful group of friends and family ...our children are connected to people of all ages...the things they really love they can spend hours on or we can find people with the same passion.

Our days have so many more hours to fill as I'm no longer doing a school run, making lunches, fiddling around with uniform, library bags, dreaded homework etc etc. I love it.

But most importantly so do my children.

I don't HE btw, I don't have children yet. I nanny a boy who is HE'd and his two siblings who go to a Steiner school.

I should have been home educated by my parents. I intend to home educate my own children one day. I also intend to specialise in childcare for HE'd children and SN HE'd children one day.

EauRouge Mon 19-Nov-12 13:26:04

"But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school"

How arrogant of you to assume that you know what is best for other people's children. Your OP was arrogant and rude and your subsequent posts haven't been any better. Why should anyone engage with you when you are being so close-minded? If you are as bright as you claim to be then do try to have a proper debate. I'm sure you have learnt how to during all that time at Oxford.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:27:57

tilbatilba
what I said was you gave lots of obviously valid reasons for home schooling, but they are exceptional circumstances, my question was then if there are not these exceptional circumstances is it a good choice for the child. The not enough referred to the section in quotation marks from another poster.

plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:29:22

tilbatilba
thanks for your answer

julienoshoes Mon 19-Nov-12 13:40:37

"Why on earth home educate??"

I've been asked this question in real life...and for me the answer was simple

"Why on earth wouldn't you?"
When you can live every day as though it is a summer holiday, enjoying yourselves doing things you like to do, with a social life that is the envy of your schooled peers and cousins, and still end up at University, why would you do anything else?

But then you see I have had children in school and out of it...I know that for us this was by far the best choice.

Parents should be given accurate information, so they can make an informed choice about what it best for their families at that time.

julienoshoes Mon 19-Nov-12 13:43:55

"if there are not these exceptional circumstances is it a good choice for the child."

My now grown children have discussed whether it would be a good idea to send any future children to school for a little while...... because they said their always home educated friends had no idea how lucky they are!
But on reflection they have decided they wouldn't impose schools on their own children...."that would be unkind so why would I do that?"

RooneyMara Mon 19-Nov-12 13:45:08

I feel like this is a bit pointless, the OP is giving nothing from her own POV to the argument. Just asking us what we think.

Then dismissing most of it.

tilbatilba Mon 19-Nov-12 13:54:21

Ah, Julienoshoes .... Always so eloquent ! You have summed up exactly how I feel ..... An endless summer holiday. And "why on earth wouldn't you" could not be a better response.

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 13:58:56

Mulledwine...yeah, it's not a great advertisement for Oxbridge is it?
smile

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