year 12 dd has no idea what she wants to do after A levels

(17 Posts)
Irush Wed 28-Sep-16 11:07:18

She got average GCSES including a C in Maths which I think would hinder her chances of getting into a 'good' university.

She's very dligent but I wouldn't describe her as a self-starter. She has no idea what she wants to do as a career confused She is obsessed with riding her horse and would probably be happy being a groom somewhere but she needs to be able to earn a decent living. She's talked about teaching and has volunteered in a school which she really enjoyed.

Other kids in her year seem much more driven. She wants to do well and works hard (got an E in maths mock and worked so so hard to get it up to a C).

She has changed school for 6th form and they do seem quite switched on when it comes to careers talks. At her last school we paid £60 for a careers session - got a book back listing all the things that she SAID she was good at and they said she should be a Doctor grin she was predicted Bs and Cs at GSCE, but because she said she liked biology thats what they came up with confused

We always assumed she would go to uni but I am wondering whether it will be the best place for her.

Seeline Wed 28-Sep-16 11:16:49

HAs she got any definite ideas about what she doesn't want to do?
What A levels is she doing?
You mention her horse - does she like other animals? Vet. nurse or something similar perhaps?

mummymeister Wed 28-Sep-16 13:49:08

well the inescapable fact is that when A levels finish she is going to have to do something. whether that's more education or a job earning money that's where she is at the moment. I think some teens don't really take this on board. they sort of cant believe that its all coming to an end - school and the support/life that they have had.

does she do any sort of part time work. this might be a good start. I think you need to start getting her to take control and make the decisions. she also needs to fully appreciate the link between having stuff and earning the money for it.

you cant expect this all to change over night though. I would start off by encouraging her to get a weekend/part time job, to have her own money and to see a bit more of the world of work and the routine of it. get some uni prospectus's, get some info from a local fe college and see if anything sparks an interest.

Irush Wed 28-Sep-16 15:31:43

Thanks mummy meister you are right. I think she'd be quite happy to bob along living at home for the rest of her life grin time to start cutting the apron strings...

LikeTheShoes Wed 28-Sep-16 15:39:30

I still don't know what I want to do after my ALevels, I've bobbed along, it's been quite fun really, and I earn enough to pay the bills and put some aside.
Has she done any work experience? I think alot of people expect to have a vocation or "something they were born to do" when I suspect that most people don't actually have this.

There's nothing wrong with working to live (in a job that is ok, good colleges etc) rather than living to work at the expense of everything else!

But careers advisors don't tell you this.

hellsbells99 Wed 28-Sep-16 17:07:29

What A levels is she doing?

bojorojo Wed 28-Sep-16 19:05:21

From what I have seen few careers in the equestrian world pay a decent wage. She is clearly comfortable at home with her horse. What motivation is there to leave that nice life behind?

Work with horses can be diverse from stud groom to work rider to horse dentist. There are equestrian courses at university and there are racing schools where you learn all about that industry. Better than just mucking out! Vet nurse requires pretty decent A levels these days so perhaps investigate that but not necessarily possible on her grades.

Coconutty Wed 28-Sep-16 19:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yeOldeTrout Wed 28-Sep-16 19:49:09

Equestrian physiotherapy, or animal physio, really. Said to be a growth area.

thesandwich Wed 28-Sep-16 21:44:32

Could you get to the skills show at the nec in Birmingham? November? It's free and loads of career info/ ideas. Also have a look at the icould website/ app with loads of career info and a great quiz.

IminaPickle Wed 28-Sep-16 21:55:49

What A Levels is she doing.
Bye the bye, DD 2 got C for maths and several others, only a couple of As at GCSE and BBD at A Level and is now very competently doing English at a Russell Group University. As with secondary school places there's an awful lot of hype and drama especially on MN

IminaPickle Thu 29-Sep-16 09:40:48

By the bye or by blush
It's DD reading English, not me.

Irush Thu 29-Sep-16 11:25:25

IminaPickle wow that is good to know!

I asked dd about this last night and she says that noone in her class (high achieving state secondary) has any clue what they want to do grin probably an exaggeration but it calmed me down a bit.

IminaPickle Thu 29-Sep-16 12:33:18

There really is such a lot of hype and panic about the whole system- from primary school entrance, SATS, 11+ and secondary school entrance through GCSEs,AS Levels and As.
As I said DD's results weren't stellar, but she's resilient and confident. I was scanning Mumsnet on results day; while many other DCs were crying and too nervous to call up through clearing, she was speaking to admissions officers. By the end of results day she had 3 offers.
Encourage her to research a variety of options- find out who offers the courses she might enjoy and what grades are required, use that as a template for the application form and do to some relevant work experience or volunteering.
flowers it will be fine.

Irush Thu 29-Sep-16 12:39:48

Thanks. We've just joined the state sector from the private sector and although its been a brilliant move for dd I do think suddenly the panic is more obvious. It just seemed far more relaxed in her independent school. Her 6th form meeting was very much about pushing them to work for 2 hours a night and making sure they are reading around the subject etc with an undertone of slight panic. At her independent school it was very very relaxed!

oldestmumaintheworld Thu 29-Sep-16 13:06:09

Some adults, and therefore some young people are not driven or self-starters and never will be. This is something that I think is very difficult for us as parents to accept. One of my nieces is like this and I've come to realise always will be. However, irrespective of motivation we all have to earn a living and it is much more pleasant to spend one's life doing something enjoyable rather than horrible. So, I would suggest that you consider the following:

1. As a matter of urgency get her to research and find and keep a Saturday job. Help her to prepare a CV (there are great books in the library for this), work out what she is good at, and how she will get to and from the job when she has one.
2. Then get her to think about what she will do with the money she earns. Maybe get her to start a mood board of things she would like to buy with the money, or places she would like to visit with her friends.
3.. Talk to her honestly about where your money comes from, how you earn it and how much you earn. Also include her in discussions about how much bills are - rent/mortgage/ council tax etc She needs to understand that when you leave school the bills start coming even if its just having to pay for bus travel instead of getting it free or reduced.
4. If you live in the country how is she going to pay for driving lessons and a car?
5. And finally does she do her own chores? Washing and ironing own clothes, cleaning room etc. How does she pay for her mobile phone? What rent will you charge her when she leaves school and how will she pay it?

All of these I've used with my own children to start to make it 'real' for them.

I hope that will help.

Irush Thu 29-Sep-16 13:34:52

She can't get a Saturday job as she competes and trains at the weekend. She'd love one though and managed to find quite a bit of babysitting over the summer.

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