best university for gay DD?

(33 Posts)
debjud Sun 02-Feb-14 14:03:00

DD has offers from Sussex, Leeds, Nottingham, and might get Edinburgh. On the open and applicant days, felt v comfortable at Sussex, but worries that Leeds isn't 'gay-friendly' - ie. is there a pool of people 'like her'? (her words). Although from an academic point of view, Leeds is her first choice so far. Does anyone have any experience of this? Or advise where she could find out more? She's not really into a lesbian scene.

17leftfeet Sun 02-Feb-14 14:04:38

Leeds is incredibly gay friendly, especially the city centre and headingley where a lot of the student housing is

rightsaidfrederick Sun 02-Feb-14 14:49:02

There's an LGBT soc at Leeds - perhaps she could get in contact with them and ask how they feel about Leeds? www.leedslgbt.co.uk/?page_id=1166

There will be equivalent societies at all her other choices too, and she could try asking on the relevant uni subforums of The Student Room too see what other students think.

fussychica Sun 02-Feb-14 14:52:10
MothratheMighty Sun 02-Feb-14 14:55:49

I'd vote Sussex, lots of gay-friendly activities and venues and support on campus and in Brighton.

IForgotMyPencil Sun 02-Feb-14 14:57:10

I'm currently at Leeds and its very gay friendly! She'd have no issues in that respect here smile

MothratheMighty Sun 02-Feb-14 14:57:17
Felix90 Sun 02-Feb-14 14:59:19

Yep, I agree leeds is very gay friendly! She will have no problems at all here.

MothratheMighty Sun 02-Feb-14 15:00:09

Spoilt for choice!

2rebecca Sun 02-Feb-14 18:46:12

Edinburgh is gay friendly.

MrsBright Mon 03-Feb-14 09:19:07

ALL Unis are gay-friendly - its an environment where difference is very tolerated, usually far better than out in the rest of the community.

So I dont think its the Uni that needs thinking about, but the city its in. And clearly Brighton wins above all others on that score. She may not be into the whole gay club thing but feeling comfortable as you walk down the street is still important. Brighton is arty, relaxed, bohemian, tolerant, hippy, foody, cultured, and a whole heap of fun.

And Sussex is a great Uni - not stuffed with public school types, and it has always attracted folk who dont just follow the crowd. Highly recommended.

MothratheMighty Mon 03-Feb-14 11:55:19

MrsBright has it spot on, it's the area as well as the uni. My two are both Aspies, and Brighton has always been a town where they have felt comfortable and accepted. Unlike Manchester, where DD was very on edge.
Where will she feel most at ease?

debjud Tue 04-Feb-14 09:42:31

Thanks for all your replies so far - v useful. MothratheMighty - I can see that you're a parent! Are the rest of you parents, students, ex-students etc?? - ie. are they your own experiences, or your DC's?

noddyholder Tue 04-Feb-14 09:43:09

Brighton smile

TheOriginalSteamingNit Tue 04-Feb-14 09:45:10

If she's not 'into a lesbian scene', do you mean 'are any of those universities actually homophobic'? To which I hope the answer would be 'no'!

TBH I think if she's drawn to a place academically, she might be better going with that instinct. There are gay students at all universities, after all, but the other stuff is more variable.

madeofkent Tue 04-Feb-14 13:22:58

Definitely Brighton, because it's not just about the uni, it's also the people living around you and Leeds isn't best reknowned for being tolerant. Brighton has been a mecca for gays since I was very young and if you were gay in the 60s and didn't fancy London, you went to Brighton. It has stayed that way ever since. I lived nearby and worked there and it is lovely. If I had a gay child I would force them to go there - shame I didn't know about the aspi thing too as I have a son who is slightly aspergic, although he is very happy where he is.

PiratePanda Wed 05-Feb-14 17:31:46

Sorry to be a bit of a sour-puss, but I have experience of Leeds Uni and it's very LGBTQ friendly right the way through from students to staff. That being the case, if she likes the course at Leeds best, surely that's where she should go? I simply do not understand why you would choose the course you like less simply because the location scores 11 on the gay-friendly index rather than 10.

PiratePanda Wed 05-Feb-14 17:33:05

And you're right, it's not just about the uni - but it's mostly about the uni and your future career, otherwise why bother?

MothratheMighty Wed 05-Feb-14 17:41:43

Not a sour puss, it's great that the OP is getting recommendations for two cities that are friendly.
I don't know where she is, but sending your DD a long way from home, you want them to be happy as well as educated.

Pollaidh Wed 05-Feb-14 17:50:25

Edinburgh is gay friendly, definitely. Surely most unis have a very active LGBT society these days? Uni is the place to be gay - most people will hopefully be educated, open-minded and fairly liberal. It's where many of the gay people I know came out. I'm not gay but through various (non-LGBT specific) uni clubs I met a lot of gay people and I very rarely heard a comment, and even the comments were more interest/surprise than homophobic.

Go for the place with the best feel and best course and maybe the best support for Aspergers.

MothratheMighty Wed 05-Feb-14 17:53:49

I'm the one with the Aspies, not the OP. grin

BettyOff Wed 05-Feb-14 18:03:28

I was a Leeds student and there was a lot of gay students in my year and a few in my friendship group and none had any problems that I know of. I used to live in the city centre and there's a massive and very friendly gay scene there. If she has a strong preference for the course but isn't quite sure about the city do you think coming with you or a friend for the weekend and having a look round would help reassure her?

funnyperson Wed 05-Feb-14 18:12:24

Arguably one should choose a university on the basis of academics. Not that anyone does that these days.
In short, go to the very very best university for that course which gives an offer.
Does it matter if a university is not 'gay friendly'? Or 'woman friendly' or 'black friendly'?
Because if people let it matter, then no where and no one will ever change. And if people let it matter then universities might become segregated places.
Rosa Parks sat where she wanted to on the bus. She didn't decide she wasn't going to take the bus because it wasn't friendly. A person must go to university where they want to go.
If academics aren't the most important factor then yes, it is a valid question.

MothratheMighty Wed 05-Feb-14 18:38:26

Depends how much of a pioneer you want to be funny, and how robust you are.
Rosa Parks was an exhausted woman of 42 who didn't intend to make a stand for human rights and equality that evening. She was just too tired to move.

Pollaidh Wed 05-Feb-14 20:29:26

Whoops, sorry Mortha and OP, new-baby brain here.

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