The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

(403 Posts)
Solo Sat 28-Dec-13 17:54:15

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.
Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.
I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? smile

Signing in! grin

I've already made a start.
After reading the Christmas "where the hell do you put your stuff" thread, it's made me want to start again.

Do we have to do the AA intro thing?
I'm nickelbabe and I'm a hoarder.
Shop closed in October, house now full to the rafters of stock that didn't sell.
Need to clear it and all the stuff we already had.

We managed to make a start using bookcases that were left over from the shop, and some bits of the hosue look great (we're talking 1sqft herer and there though!) - mainly because we don't have a chance to sort through stuff properly. DH has a house full, I have a housefull, the "shop" has a house full, and DH has all the stuff he needs to look after his mum's affairs.
So it's slow work.

I kept looking at one of the fitted wardrobes - hasn't been used as a wardrobe since we did up the bedroom, but as a storage area. Not bad - we put in a cupboard unit at the bottom to house DH's sheet music, but things got put in front and on top and when we used it to store the christmas presents, it was a hard job to shut the door on it!
So, I went to Wilko's to buy 4 storage boxes - 2 x 80l and 2x32l, (with lids) and used them to store stuff.

I have those Lego storage boxes - guess what? Totally and utterly useless for storing Lego, and take up stupid space! So I've put 3x4ers and 1xlarge head's worth of Lego into an 80l box, plus all the bits that wouldn't fit into a lego storage box (base plates FGS). And still space for more! grin

One 32l box with DH's music in, one 80l with "random stuff that's useful (like wrapping paper and the sleeve board), one 32l with "stuff DH needs to sort through!". and the little cardboard box at the bottom has got all the phone/battery/toothbrush charger units in.
The rest of the space is hanging space (which we'd totally lost in the mess), so I can put my dance outfits on.
Here's what it looks like now

PS: the 80l and 32l clear storage boxes with lids are in Wilko's sale - the 80l one is £6 down from £9 and the 32l one is £3 from £5

I also, today, cleared a box of clothes that were put to one side when I became pregnant and have not seen the light of day since.
Finally got round to looking through. Some are skirts i'll never wear again, some of them were clothes I know I will, so put in appropriate places. Went into the hanging wardtobe and did the same thing - maternity dresses I ended up not wearing much (all hand-me-downs!) etc.
I put the ones I won't wear again into charity bags, apart from 4 dresses - my 3rd year Uni Ballgown, a red dress I made, and 2 60s style dresses I used to wear all the time - those dresses I put into a (very small) box for DD when she grows up, so she can wear them or just look at them and decide what to do with them.
I did that because my mum did the same with a few of her skirts and I loved wearing them when I was old enough (except mum was a lot smaller than adult me, so I only got to wear them when I was about 11! - I've marked this box with the dress size)

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Sat 28-Dec-13 21:58:17

I'm in! I started a thread earlier about 'the big declutter' smile

I'm lazy rather than a hoarder, although, I probably have hoarding tendencies!! Things have been getting worse and worse for a very long time and it has got to breaking point.

I have five days until I'm back in work (well, 4 now), with no plans apart from decluttering. My friend is doing relays to the charity shop and the tip so this is going to be my turning point and this house 'is' going to be sorted out!!!

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Sat 28-Dec-13 22:00:23

Big step for me last week was to get rid of the last of ds' baby clothes (apart from the Nike trainers and three babygros!!). The mistake I made was to put it through the washing machine first which meant it's all hung around, tempting me into keeping it. It's all in the charity shop bag now and will be gone on Monday morning!!

see, I just don't know what to do about babyclothes. I kind of want another one so daren't get rid of it because we can't afford to get all that again.
we might go through it and o ly keep so manu outfits of each age. we did give the vicar first refusal on their next size but that didn't clear much.

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Sat 28-Dec-13 23:46:30

That's fair enough...my ds is 11 blush!!!

grin

dd is 2

it keps posting without me telling it to!

dd is 2 and I'm hoping the decision is made for us before she's 11!

GatoradeMeBitch Sun 29-Dec-13 00:17:53

Hello everyone! I have been decluttering consistently for months (there's a lot of clutter!) and I have the will, but I don't drive, I have a slimline bin, and not many charity bags take bric-a-brac which slows me down. I have taken advantage of the generosity of friends (about six car-fulls) but now I'm on my own.

The living room and kitchen are not bad at all, but the cupboard under the stairs where I keep the tree is crammed full, so there will be things to deal with when I put the tree away. The bathroom is where I keep the evidence of my 3/4 years of bargain hunting on HUKD/MSE - lots of toiletries, and I got more for Christmas. I throw things out when I see they've gone gross, but I would like to use up my stash and not just get rid of it. My sons room is very neat and tidy, but my bedroom could star on Hoarders - junk everywhere in huge piles. I'm starting to get paranoid about vermin moving in. Most of it is clothes - in five different sizes. The other bad area is our shed - I can only just shut the door. I have no idea what's even in there, I'm too afraid of spiders to explore.

I can't tackle my room until DS goes back to college on the 6th, because I will need his room to decant things into as I sort them. There are no charity bags currently, and the bin is full of Christmas stuff, so my wings are clipped for a week.

Rummikub Sun 29-Dec-13 00:58:32

Hi I am rummi and I have cluttering tendencies, my house has far too much stuff in. And I don't know where to start.

Nickel, I liked your after picture. That's the kind of thing I want to achieve!

Solo Sun 29-Dec-13 01:17:50

Hooray! I'm not alone!!! grin. Welcome aboard ladies!

Hello Nickel smile pic looks very tidy and I love your wallpaper!

Hiccup I've got lazy too and I hate hate hate it!!! I've just so overwhelmed by it all now though.

Gatorade it sounds like you are doing really well already! shame you don't drive though as I can see why that would make a massive difference.

Me? No, I've done nothing yet really....well, yes I have!

I have twice been through my clothes and taken loads of it to the cash 4 clothes places. I've been through Ds's clothes about 4 times and done the same and Dd's several times too. I also ended up selling Dd's Clarkes shoes to C4C's as I just thought sod it, they're never going to sell for £2 a pair on netmums sad It makes a difference, but of course, you replace the out grown clothes and shoes with clothes and shoes that fit!
I sold both baby seats and my Maclaren, gave away on freecycle loads of baby stuff too.
I do have a big bag of toddler clothes that I'd really like to sell individually as they are beautiful and cost a lot. My rl friend and I are looking out for a table top sale locally. I have a cot to sell too which is tucked into one of my wardrobes.

Since the other thread, I have installed two Ikea Pax cupboards into my dining room to take kitchen overflow as I have a tiny kitchen and little cupboard space. Trouble is, the Pax shelves aren't designed for weighty things and they started to bow under the weight, so I've had to buy more shelves and spread it all out a bit. Still concerned that there'll be an almighty crash at some point and I'll find everything in a heap inside a Pax!

18 months ago, I bought an 8'x10' shed for my craft stuff. I need more sheds! blush.

When my Dc's go back to school, I'm really going to get cracking on getting rid and getting sorted. A rl friend told me that I have to stop saying 'I need to' and start saying 'I want to' very good point, and very true! We have to want to do it, don't we?!
I'll shut up for now. But keep on decluttering, keep on clearing, keep on cleaning...and keep on posting!! smile

Solo Sun 29-Dec-13 01:19:15

Ooh! welcome Rummikub smile you've come to the right place!

I'll return tomorrow at some point.

Rummikub Sun 29-Dec-13 12:14:39

Wow solo you've done loads!

gatorade I don't use bubble bath /sbower sensitive skin), so I decant thhem into the liquid soap dispenser. that gets used all the time.

today I went back to wilko's and bought a 24l tub to gi with the little ones under the stairs, a cd ling narrow one and a very smal (6.5)l tub
after having arranged everything, it looks like I want a 24l one instead of the 12l (?) i got yesterday because of the gap.
that's okay because we can easily use the 12l one elsewhere.
24l better size for my fabric.
and if i get going on the sewing I need to do, I won't bave as much fabric lyjng about.
my threads fit perfectly in a 24l tub with room to spare and now i don't have odd shaped boxes because they're all the same.

Just checking in - not entirely on the planet tonight as I have flu and tequila (not necessarily the best mix ever!). Home is a blinkin' nightmare as far as 'stuff' goes, and my housework skills hover around the zero level - but right now I'm not there, am back in civilization until Thursday - but then I'll be back and staring down the barrel of it all again. This WILL be the year I get it sorted - but first, I'll have another tequila sunrise and try to drown this damn flu virus!

starofbethlehemfishmummy Sun 29-Dec-13 21:49:34

I am starfishmummy and I need to declutter the whole house.
Not really started yet because we all have the lurgy but have some clothes bagged up for the next charity collection (or maybe to the charity bank at the community centre when they re-open).

Want to clear the desk in the spare room so I can get back into crafting - which will also help declutter the craft supplies!!

ooh no, furry, when I had my horrid cold (not convinced flu, but it was so bad I missed church shock), I drank half a bottle of wine and felt exactly the same grin

Solo Mon 30-Dec-13 01:36:22

grin Welcome everyone! this is great! I no longer feel so lonely wink.

I know from the thread that I 'met' nickel on (unless it was from a totally different thread) that we sometimes did the flylady thing of 15 minute bursts of tidying/cleaning/decluttering, then 15 minutes rest ~ at least, that's how I used to do it before it was this bad blush .
I hope we can get this party started sooner rather than later and be in a position a little while from now, to throw the door wide and invite someone in for a cuppa! <-----my dream!

Rummi it seems like a lot, but a lot of it (seats/buggy/baby stuff) were over a year ago now...I don't know where the time goes, I really don't! but I have been doing the clothing cull regularly this year!
Another thing I'm getting better with is that I only glance through the freecycle ads now and if I'm at all tempted, I have a stern talk with myself!

it's a good way of blitzing.
today, dh bought me an 80l tub and a 24l one. the 80l one is now in front of tthe back window with soft toys in (and obviously worked because she never went near the pile of crap random soft toys all over the floor and she pulled them all out, had a play and a stomp, and dh put them all back. we've agreed that if the 3 (plus happyland - we're going to get a proper tub for happyland) boxes get overflowing that we'll cull the stuff.
this has already started in a way because I took some of the plastic zets to church for the busy bags. dd plays with those anyway, so it's not like we're chucking out good s?uff.

the 24l box is now in my sewjng-under-the-stairs. it looks good under there now.

Solo Mon 30-Dec-13 16:46:23

Hello everyone! how are you going today?

I got up today with a twinge in my back! argh!! so nothing done today!

Solo Mon 30-Dec-13 16:48:07

Today. Today. Today. hmm word of the day then!!

anotherrandomusername Mon 30-Dec-13 17:34:14

What an excellent idea nickeldonkey! I have about 50 bottles of shower gel, and we go through hand wash much faster! I'll start decanting!

FatAssPantaloons Mon 30-Dec-13 20:59:30

Hello!

I have put aside some of the kids' unloved toys today for the charity shop. Christmas makes me panic - more stuff coming into the house makes me feel out of control.

Solo Tue 31-Dec-13 02:29:59

Hi FatAss and welcome! are you a hoarder or are you in control of your 'stuff?' smile

FatAssPantaloons Tue 31-Dec-13 08:38:42

I have hoarding (well, buying unnecessary crap) tendencies, Solo. in control but barely!

Chocolatecoin Tue 31-Dec-13 10:01:19

Hi guys can I join you too? I struggle with organising everything, there's always something MUCH more interesting to do than tidy and sort and by the end of the day I've achieved something really new and exciting but the house just gets worse and more cluttered. I would like 2014 the year to get on top of things, sort out the things that don't work or need to be replaced. Thought it might help if I put it into words.

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Tue 31-Dec-13 10:38:43

12 bags to the charity shop yesterday, 5 more this morning and a couple of small things to the tip...which is what my house still resembles!! blush

I'm going to take the tree down today, I think...or maybe tomorrow. Maybe I'll take the cards down and put the other Christmas stuff away then leave the tree a it longer.

Just waiting for my mum to come and collect ds then I am going to Isis room, armed with lots of plastic bags. I am determined to get his room fit for habitation...especially as my sister will be sleeping in it tonight grin!!

Solo Tue 31-Dec-13 15:08:35

FatAss I wish I was! sad blush

Welcome Chocolatecoin smile yes, I'm much the same as you and sometimes (actually it's probably more often than not), I just do nothing! which is crap!!!
I reckon that by encouraging one another, we can definitely do it this coming year!! grin

Hiccup you really are in the zone! at that rate, you'll ve done and dusted in a few weeks, so well done you!

HelloBoys Tue 31-Dec-13 16:35:18

Have decided to join. Most of flat is ok apart from kitchen area, office area and bedroom.

Am trying to streamline wardrobe. And declutter books and paperwork, kitchen gadgets etc

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Tue 31-Dec-13 17:23:14

Hmm, yes, am feeling in the zone but not seeing results quick enough and I'm in danger of giving up!

Ds' bedroom was a nightmare! I stupidly decided to move his bed which took ages and was a total pita. Anyway, it's done now and is ready for my dsis to sleep in it. The room looks huge if you ignore the massive pile of crap in one corner so I'm pleased I did it but won't be doing it again...ever!!! grin

I'm done for the day and will get back on it tomorrow...paperwork day tomorrow, yay!!

Solo Tue 31-Dec-13 18:45:39

Welcome HelloBoys are you a hoarder or just need a good tidy up? what are your downfalls so to speak? smile

Giving up is not an option! you are doing really well, whereas I am doing nothing... yet!!! but your successes are what will push us all forward with it! please don't look at what you have got to do. Rather, look at what you have achieved so far! smile

HelloBoys Tue 31-Dec-13 19:30:19

Hi solo.

Thanks for welcoming me.

I think I'm a bit of both, hoarder and need a good tidy up but also buy too much.

Eg i have lots of 'presents' in the present cupboard meant to give this year bought new...

Solo Tue 31-Dec-13 19:54:35

Well, as long as they don't go mouldy, you can get rid of them for birthday presents and or for next Christmas, school fete, raffle them off during a coffee morning once you are all sorted at home or just plain ebay them! all is not lost smile

We will get sorted!

we're planning to use the empty tub in the wardrobe for presents. now dd has got child friends, we'll need to keep a stash of suitable gifts.

StarsAbove Tue 31-Dec-13 23:00:26

You've inspired me to make a start. I don't buy stuff, I just keep it forever! I decided to start with a pile of cards that DD (9mo and cruising) keeps pulling down. I thought it would be easy to throw them away but I didn't manage even one! How do you manage this? I have birthday cards going back 30 years, from family members who have now passed away. I don't need them but I can't bring myself to get rid of them. But I have to do something as my flat is a hazard for DD. Please help!

Solo Wed 01-Jan-14 02:44:28

Hi StarsAbove and welcome!

I can't part with sentimental stuff either. I'll be 50 in March and have birthday and Christmas cards that are 49+ years old! I know a lot of people scan their cards and store them in a techie way, but I'm one of those people that like to run my fingers over the handwriting...knowing that Auntie Mary held this and wrote it out to me in 1990, before she died...I didn't get one in '91 because she died the day after my birthday and was in hospital prior to that. It's so hard and I feel like this with everything from everyone.
Something I did do though, was on going through cards etc, I got rid of the least sentimental and kept just the most recent. So if 'Annie' sent me a card every year since 1980 and continues to send a card every year since then, I get rid of those from 1980 until 2012. Though I do keep the last one from 'Annie and Stan' before 'Stan' passed away. Made those characters up btw grin, but you get the picture. Auntie Mary was not made up sad.

Solo Wed 01-Jan-14 02:46:35

Nickel my pressie stash is usually in a carrier bag feels inferior in the wardrobe smile

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Wed 01-Jan-14 02:57:29

Hey Solo smile I'm glad you are still doing it. Don't forget I'm happy to come over and help you anytime you want some company. Have you tackled the dust collectors in the loft yet hmm fgrin

so keep the really sentimental ones. get a tub of a certain size, keep milestone birthdays and events like weddings, keep the one from auntie Mary and chuck the rest.

Solo Wed 01-Jan-14 04:30:21

Yes, am going to start on it very soon! Dust?! in the loft? not me!!
Thanks Chipping may call on you at some point smile

Yes Nickel that's the way to do it! can't take own advice very well

cloutiedumpling Wed 01-Jan-14 11:16:25

Hi Nickel <waves>. My name is cloutie and our house is far too cluttered. It isn't that I buy loads of stuff, I'm just really bad at throwing things out. It is getting to the stage where we have piles of stuff in every room. I need to get on top of it. Perhaps by taking one cupboard/ box etc at a time.

Solo Wed 01-Jan-14 15:37:58

Welcome cloutie smile

Happy New Year everyone. 2014, the year of the clear up!!

StarsAbove Wed 01-Jan-14 16:43:45

Thank you, I suppose there must be some cards I can get rid of if I really try. I'm feeling really positive about it! I think the thing is that I have so much stuff like that, that I don't even know what is there! I could probably chuck the whole pile and not realise it was gone, but it's the sorting through that makes me want to keep it all!

crap. I just typed a massive post and aurora crashed!

basically, make gift tags from this yearms christmas cards before packing decs away. save majorcards and chuck the rest.
my 2nd birthday, 13th bday, 21st, engagement/wedding, dd's birth, baptism, 1st and 2nd. we don't need to keep any others unless really special.

dh used to write love notes on my post and i've kept all those. do I need to? i've got 2 bagsfull!

oh. paperwork. you only need to keep the last 5 years (for tax purposes), but obv keep things that are still current like mortgage, etc.
but bank statements. bills etc can go.
you could keep your first wage slip, first tv licence, that kind of thing.

Bloob Wed 01-Jan-14 20:59:51

Hello smile can I join?

I'm in desperate need of a declutter and a good tidy up. The house is AWFUL. I buy too much (especially for the kids) and am guilty of not really sorting things out. It just gets put down. Calpol on the windowsill, kids toys in our room, letters dd has written to us all over the place. ARGGHH!

It has got seriously bad the last little while - 5 months pregnant with 2 under 4s and we're buying a house. That's my excuse! But we've now bought the house and are moving this month so it NEEDS sorting.

I have just started our room (otherwise known as the junk room) and it looks so much better. It needs more, wardrobes clearing and decluttering and under the bed clearing and a good Hoover but I feel good for having done it!

The rest of the house is overwhelming me though and I don't want to give up! It's just so full of stuff.

purrforamincepie Wed 01-Jan-14 21:13:44

I want to join too, our house is beginning to look like it's been ransacked. I have realised recently that it's in such a state because I am a neat and orderly (though not necessarily logical) person, whilst my DH likes everything he owns to be spread out in one even layer across every inch of available space so he can locate what he needs relatively quickly. He doesn't appreciate my things being in his jigsaw of belongings and I don't appreciate his things lying around as if they've exploded out of some kind of benign bomb of stuff. When he goes out, I stealthily pile everything up into very neat and tidy heaps. And I keep doing it. You can imagine the end result.

Please help me, hoarders AA (perhaps Pilers AA in my case, as long as nobody thinks I have a painful bottom situation by mistake) (I really don't) you're my only hope!

bloob I think that's a big part of my problem - easier to put something down than put it away..
purr - your dh really needs to srart filing his stuff. if he can't do it, give him x days to do it or you bin it. it's totally wrong that he should force you to live in shit

Bloob Wed 01-Jan-14 22:11:06

Definitely nickel. And then it gets so bad it's overwhelming and harder to tackle. Harder to keep tidy day to day so you just chuck things down on top of the piles and it gets worse!

I am inspired by your plastic box buying. Think I will be off to buy some tomorrow.

Toys are my big thing. I don't know how to get rid of them! We have far too many. But they play with them, and the ones they don't I have 2 more dc to potentially play with them so I don't chuck it. Help! I need motivation!

Busyoldfool Wed 01-Jan-14 22:53:55

Reading your post Solo I heard echoes of my own situation. My house is full to the brim of things I dare not let go "in case"... I love collecting, I love books, I hate waste, I fear that if I do get rid of something I'll need it/ won't be able to replace it/ will regret it - etc.
I am sentimental too and overwhelmed by rooms that I cannot get into because of the piles and boxes of stuff. I know that I need to get rid of it - but it is hard.
I will be following this thread and trying to make some progress.

do what I did and give some of the plastic sturdy (non-noisy) toys to your local church. smile

plastic boxes are brilliant.
I'm now obsessed. but they look much nicer than the cardboard ones.

StarsAbove Wed 01-Jan-14 23:45:46

A little progress this evening, I have managed to get rid of some cards! Christmas cards from school friends, at least 20 years old and I'm not in touch with anyone from that time so it was easy to throw them away when I really thought about it. It's a start.
Hope everyone else is doing well, or at least planning!

Solo Thu 02-Jan-14 03:13:07

Welcome new Hoarders Anon smile

Busy it's horrible isn't it? sad

StarsAbove really well done! smile

A small bit of inspiration for you all (Nickel may remember as I think I told this before). I got married 1st time in '84 and I still had the beautiful silk bouquet in the loft. It was a big one and I couldn't bear to get rid of it. However! my exh committed suicide 4 years ago and something made me snap 2 years ago (was having all kinds of emotional grief), I pulled the bouquet apart and it is no more!! grin

Shnickyshnackers Thu 02-Jan-14 04:52:34

Hello, I've just read this thread and no I am feeling inspired. he plastic tubs sounds fantastic and I have found some locally that we want to buy, we're going to go on Saturday and get some to go in the laundry and maybe one or two to go under the bed. My Linen cupboard has become disorganised and over full so I want to put some bits into a box and store it in the laundry room.

I am torn between finding better storage or throwing stuff away. I like to hang onto things that will be 'useful'. I hate the thought of wasting good money on replacing something I got rid of.

I am seriuosly thinking about getting rid of some clothes - I have a fair bit that doesn't fit anymore and I should just charity shop them. I find I am best when I just say to myself "I will fill one carrier bag with clothes and give it to the charity shop" so that it isn't too emotional. I feel daft saying that it is emotional but it is sometimes <isn't it?> I have a good goal in mind as I have a friend coming to stay for a few weeks so she will need room in the spare room. I find a goal helps otherwise its too easy to procrastinate smile

Also I am terrible for having a lovely wardrobe that I can't get to because it is behind a big pike of stuff. Silly I know!! My dd's cot is in front of it because that was the only place it would fit so for ages now I have just not bothered using it. Lazy-itus probably.

CheerfulYank Thu 02-Jan-14 05:02:58

I'm CheerfulYank and I'm not really a hoarder, as in I don't have problems getting rid of stuff etc.

But I'm really bad at organizing and it's like I don't really know how to clean, I just know how to stuff things in cupboards and baskets if that makes sense. I get new storage containers all the time but they just end up being filled with stuff. AndnDH and I are terrible at finishing projects so we have paint cans etc sitting out all the time.

I've decided I need to do a major declutter and be really firm...for instance if I want new clothes but they won't fit in my armoire then I will have to get rid of some.

Shnickyshnackers Thu 02-Jan-14 06:37:41

I have just offloaded two items, I listed them as free on my facebook buy/sell page. They are unwanted gifts and to be honest I'm glad they've gone, they can clutter up someone else's life!!

Solo Thu 02-Jan-14 13:56:44

Hello smile Happy New Clutterfree/getting organized Year!

That's good news Shnicky well done!!

Hello CY it's nice to see you too!

cloutiedumpling Thu 02-Jan-14 16:07:31

Oh I know that feeling of not wanting to get rid of things incase they become useful in the future.

have to say my wedding dress is one thing that I keep wondering about.
I'll never wear it again! (except to put it on on our anniversary)
but I made it myself, so who would buy it - it was made to neasure!
it's green.

but I am happily married so there's no risk

I tell you what's the worst thing about this, it's the forcing myself to put things away when i've used them, or taking pots in to the kitchen, or to put dirty stuff in the bin (I'm okay with putting recycling in the box because I don't have to lift a lid!)

I can't even hoover regularly because dd screams and cries when I get it out (even as far as going hysterical when I get the Bissell out! hmm

I have been reading with interest and trying tonuse my holiday to get some decluttering done, I have managed to throw out a load of clothes, some toys if dds have gone to a friend on loan, and when we take the tree down the decs will get a purge. I find myself getting increasingly annoyed with dh though, he is terrible for hoarding, bits of broken thing he will fix 'one day', tools, diy bits, clothes. His side ofbthe bed is a moubd of books, clothes, boots, etc, every so often I make him sort it out and ifvthings are in my way they get thrown in his heap. I have to be ruthless, if his stuff gets ruined or creased then it isn't my problem, hes a grown man.

I have a bowl for all the bits of crap lying around everywhere, ypthen every so often I just tip it all out, mend stuff, throw stuff.

I am thinking of scanning things like dd's artwork, that way I can make something with it, and keep it all that way. I actually think having a good clear out is quite theraputic....

however, all thisvgoes out the window when I start trying to sort my studio, all the things I would like to keep as they coukd come in useful....

Bloob Thu 02-Jan-14 22:57:29

Missmakesstuff - I have a dh like that. He would keep everything. Bits of broken cup to glue "one day", broken toys, t shirts with holes in. God it drives me mad. I have to say though, he doesn't notice when I throw it all out. He just doesn't like the feeling of wasting it / throwing it out. It doesn't bother him when I do (if I told him first he would moan though!)

Cheefulyank: I'm like that. In my case it's laziness, I know how to do it, I just don't bother. I am determined to change it.

Did a bit more today: sorted out Dds too small clothes and emptied the bits above her wardrobe to sell. Cleared out 5 toys, an old printer and some sheets for bed sizes we don't own. Now just need to actually take them to the charity shop. Along with the books i cleared to the back of my car a month ago.
Made a small start on ds's room but didn't get very far. Made the mistake of telling dh about a few things I'm getting rid of and he convinced me to keep them. Damn. Rookie error.

What does everyone do with children's summer clothes during the winter? I'm sick of them clogging up drawers when we don't wear short sleeves as its too cold! I haven't packed them up though. Should I?

Please can I join in? My name is BigWelly and I have two little wellies and a hairy bearded welly husband. I also have a house full of

STUFF

Just so much stuff. The trouble was that DH and I both owned houses when we met, we both had good jobs and bought loads of things, mostly technology and clothes. Books. The toys came later once we had the babies. We moved to a tiny house, filled it. The week we were due to move and do a huge sort out our dc1 was hospitalised, so everything was packed by well meaning friends and relatives. Junk and all. Three years and two house moves later we haven't got rid of anyof it!

I have piles of clothes everywhere. Unfinished DIY. Tools and toys. Kitchen appliances and paperwork all . mixed up. We have one room in the house whoch is full of boxes. Floor to ceiling. Sorting rhrough them inevitably causes arguments. There are so many memories attached to everything I can't bear to just chuck stuff. And the money. However much did we foolishly waste on these things? A camera used twice. A telescope unused because we live in a city. DH has so many pairs of shoes. I had a white stuff addiction. The DC have bags and bags if secondhand clothes traded on selling pages. We keep everything just in case.

Sigh. I need order.

Busyoldfool Thu 02-Jan-14 23:22:18

It sounds as if you are all doing quite well and it is very encouraging to read.
I find this really hard but I unpacked some storage boxes today. Got rid of some rubbish and some paper but no actual things. However - it is a small step in the right direction.
Also saw that there is a local, (indoor), car boot sale that operates in winter so have promised myself that I will do a sale in a couple of weeks.

Solo Fri 03-Jan-14 04:43:53

Welcome! smile

I put Dd's summer stuff into an Ikea duvet bag and store them in the loft. Do the opposite during summer with winter stuff, plus all the too big stuff that have been passed down from cousins and friends.

Nickel I have two wedding dresses. 1984 and 1994 styles. Thinking of cutting the first one up to make Dd's First Communion dress in 12 months time, but it was a very unhappy and abusive marriage that ended 24 years ago, so I don't know...the second one is gorgeous but the decoration on it has gone a funny peach colour despite being cleaned and stored away and no light getting to it, so it's probably good for nothing now smile, bad marriage too...
Could you make your Dd a pretty dress out of yours? I remember the pictures of your dress I think smile

I think it's a good idea to make it into her communion dress - it's going through a religious service of cleansjng and new life, which will effectively nake it all brand new and take away the bad attached to it. smile,

oh, I couldn't chop mine up! the only part that's big enough to be reusable is the skirt, and in my mind it was "just tacked on tk make it a dress".
the bodice was the main part of the dress and the most significant.

I did look at making it into a quilt, but again, it's the bodice that's stopping that (it's also proper stiff - no boning, all te shaping was done by stiffening and stitching!) if I made it into a quilt, it'd be like having a blanket with a bosom grin

Busyoldfool Fri 03-Jan-14 23:33:39

I like the idea of making the Fist Communion dress from the wedding dress - agree with Nickel about new life. I certainly find it easier to get rid of stuff if it is being re-used/transformed.

I went to the tip today - only, (a lot of), paper and fairy lights but I still had to tell the man at the tip that some of the bulbs were working and all the plugs and fuses were, (so that he could recycle and not waste them!) - I told you I had a problem blush! - He laughed at me!

It's a start though.

StarsAbove Sat 04-Jan-14 00:39:17

Starts are good - as Mary Poppins said, well begun is half done!

I sorted through another handful of old cards this evening, this time mostly postcards from sixth form. No idea why I kept them so they have gone! Also found my school report from upper sixth form, it is really bad... and I got terrible A levels. I should throw it away really but haven't yet. It made me a bit sad as I was capable of much more.

Solo Sat 04-Jan-14 02:57:07

Hmmm, well don't forget, this was not Dd's father that I married in this dress. And thank God for small mercies! but yes! it would be easier to remake it than get rid of it.

Excellent goings on for the rest of you! smile

Solo Sat 04-Jan-14 12:10:27

I'm off to see Charlie and Lola today at Bluewater with Dd. Tuesday the Dc's are back at school, so it'll be time to start. I am hoping to find some size 18 clothes for someone in need, but I'm not sure I have any...sad

Shnickyshnackers Sun 05-Jan-14 11:36:07

I have bought some large plastic boxes to put some bits in. I want to sort the linen cupboard, so it's not as crammed full. I will try and get rid of some bits as I go.

Solo Sun 05-Jan-14 13:13:51

Excellent Shnicky smile My start day is Tuesday when the Dc are back at school. I keep looking at the dropped on the floor toys and things that Dd has left...she's got her Christmas cards there along with the envelopes which she intends to keep ~ all on the floor! and I'm thinking... ^you're going to have a shock soon!' but I have given her countless opportunities to pick them up and put them away!

Solo Sun 05-Jan-14 13:15:51

Oh I didn't tell you did I?! when I took a load of stuff to C4C, I also took all the boyish and bright duvet sets! grin, that got rid of loads!

cloutiedumpling Sun 05-Jan-14 14:34:39

Packed away a big bag of clothes this afternoon - all going off to charity. I don't find it as difficult to get rid of the DCs old coats when I know they are going to keep other kids warm.

Still need to tackle magazines. I have piles of magazines that have been sitting around for two years ...

Solo Mon 06-Jan-14 00:35:44

Ha! I can beat that cloutie! blush I was in hospital in '88 for 3 months and collected many mags each week. I also worked in a big newsagents...you can guess what happened! tbf though, I only collected the mags like Me and Prima for the patterns and recipes. Think I only used one pattern though to make someone elses grand daughters dresses...

You can see part of my problem!

Tommetipsy Mon 06-Jan-14 16:43:32

Hello

Can I join in please?

Our hoarding issues are basically DH and his paperwork. Piles and piles of it. He also can never put anything away and the dd's seem to be inheriting this trait...

I work from home so always have lots of stock, my sewing machine etc etc.

I used to buy a lot of magazine too, some for work but it's all got out of control. We live in a 4 bed house but we lack storage and the rooms all have old blocked up fireplaces but we can't get wardrobes to fit in the alcoves and other frustrating things like this.

Today though I have sorted through our blanket box and made sure I have duvet/sheets/pillows for all the beds and the rest is ready to go to the textile bank. I also bagged up all the dd's too small/worn out clothes.

Feels like a tiny bit of progress!

Solo Tue 07-Jan-14 00:10:42

Hello and welcome Tommy smile of course you can join us!

It's funny about Dc's inheriting things like this isn't it? My late Dad wrote on emptied envelopes ~ phone numbers. workings out, notes etc. I do exactly the same!

Could you not get someone in to make some made to measure wardrobes in the alcoves? Do you use all the bedrooms or could you use one as a wardrobe room? <memories of having a 'wardrobe room' in my old house, no Dc's>
Well done at sorting the bedding out and the outgrown clothing! what a great achievement!

For me, tomorrow is my start day! will need lots of energy and motivation and my timer! am going to try to have resting periods so as to try to avoid ME problems stopping me in my tracks!

How is everyone else doing?

GatoradeMeBitch Tue 07-Jan-14 00:17:58

I haven't done much of anything yet. I have implemented the 'excess shower gels as hand wash' tip though, to start working through the stash.

My bedroom is the worst place in the house by far. It's a fairly big room, but the only clear floor space is a path to my bed. Clothes are the major issue. I have a plan though.

On Thursday my son leaves the house early and doesn't get back till 4pm, so I'm going to use his bedroom floor (because there is no room to work in my room and if I have to cart things up and downstairs I will give up within 30 minutes!) to organise my clothes by type - dresses, jeans, etc and weed out things I don't like and things that I will probably never fit into again. There is a charity bag collection on Friday, so my goal is to fill at least two bin bags to leave out.

Shnickyshnackers Tue 07-Jan-14 02:17:32

I have still not started at the linen cupboard!! I keep checking back on the thread when I know I am being lazy and or procrastinating.

We packed away our christmas decs yesterday. It was a team effort, me and DH were packing them away while my two toddlers were causing chaos.

Anyway I have got all my christmas buts in one box now and it feels more organised than last year. At least I know that the stocckings are packed away with everything else this time and I hope I wont have any panic's that they are lost!

Well done to the poster who got rid of lots of old duvets covers. I am normally a sucker at Sale time to go into Laura Ashley and look at their lovely sheet sets.

I have a cot mattress under my bed that has been there for a year. I think I have come to the conclusion that it should be sold. I don't think we would get much for it, but it will be one less thing cluttering up the bed room.

We have an old futon under our bed which we've held onto 'just in case of visitors', we've decided to cover it in a duvet cover and use it in the playroom as a book reading corner. Could you do that with the cot mattress?

Ooh i like the idea of a reading sofa! Yes a cot mattress should be fine.

We sorted our airing cupboard when dh's mum went into a home - all her stuff came to us!
We have no spare linen. We have 3 sets of bedlinen for our bed and 3 sets of single bedlinen for when dd grows up.
We have loads of towels, but we can justify them all ( and annoyinly we ended up with not enough towels when dd was born!)

Shnickyshnackers Tue 07-Jan-14 23:12:54

The reading corner sounds good but the dd's bedroom is just too small! I gotta get stuff out the door!!

Solo Tue 07-Jan-14 23:58:19

Yes! I got rid of my Ds's boyish duvet sets and the bright ones that he also had as a little little one. Dd has princessy ones so didn't need them. Ds is so tall now that I've given him a double quilt.

So, today!!! grin I started as soon as I got back from the school run and didn't stop for 6 hours! I cleared up the washing up, cleared part of my work top area and cleaned the cooker top which was a disgrace! and I'm usually really fussy over a clean cooker, but had lapsed in recent weeks. I also emptied my tins cupboard because I just can't see the wood for the trees in it iyswim? decided to replace a slatted shelf that I made under the stairs (in the kitchen) with a solid shelf and put all the tins and jars on there. I'm hoping that the pans etc from the shelf will fit in the cupboard I've just emptied. I also emptied my cooker drawer and have cleaned everything that was in there ~ I've had the dishwasher on 3 times today! I also cleaned the loo, the basin and the bathroom window sill, though tbf, I do try to keep those things fairly clean anyway...sooooo...although I've not done much, I've done quite a bit smile ooh! also did a load of washing.

Tomorrow, day 2. More kitchen work for me! if I can get the entire kitchen done, it'll spur me on I hope to start on another room.

Tommetipsy Wed 08-Jan-14 09:53:46

Bit of progress here as I have managed to fit the wardrobe in the dd's room into the alcove by taking off the beading (I think that's what you call it!!) off the skirting board and it fitted - just!!

Looks much better now.

Also got rid of the old toddler bed given to a friend who's DS is coming up for 2. Result.

Kids are back at school today - finally!! I have to work today (freelancer) but I will keep on top of the laundry as I can hang stuff outside today in the lean to at the side of my house without fear of any pants blowing anyway into the neighbours garden...

Good luck with the kitchen Solo!

Solo Wed 08-Jan-14 10:06:49

Excellent Tomme smile get us!

I have managed to get all the pans into the old tins cupboard (yay!) but the woks won't go in there, so will have to find another place for them. Just taking a breather; am really tired again today.

Tommetipsy Wed 08-Jan-14 11:22:40

this morning getting the dd's ready for school just felt easier. I had all the clothes in the wardrobe/chest of drawers plus the hats/gloves/bookbags in the trofast that I have moved into the hall.

Why I never realised before that little and often actually works is beyond me!!

Sort those woks out Solo!

Solo Thu 09-Jan-14 01:45:59

Well! today has been less constructive.
I have got most of the pans in the cupboard. I also have replaced the second slatted shelf with a solid one, but it is less accessible than the lower one, so I can't make up my mind what will be best stored there. Picked up a few of Dd's toys and rubbish from the lounge.
Not done nearly enough today...do feel exhausted though, so maybe that's the reason.

Tomme sounds good! smile

Onwards and upwards!!!

anotherrandomusername Thu 09-Jan-14 21:45:24

I started tackling my mountains of clothes today. I ran out of time in the end and will have to carry on in the weekend, but I filled four binbags for charity. A lot of it still had tags. I am such a hoarder sad

Solo Fri 10-Jan-14 00:49:55

That's great news another smile a really good start!

I haven't done much today, but I'm more or less on top of my washing, though I too need to tackle the mountains of clean laundry that needs sorting, ironing and distributing. Honestly! my dining room looks like a Chinese laundry!
I need to get a venetian blind put up at my landing window (tried, but can't seem to drill into the wooden frame), then I can get the Billy cupboard put at the top of the stairs for the towels and bathroom extra's, like toilet roll!

Tomorrow I need to change my bedding and get this lot into the washing machine...might then try to sort some of the mountains out!

Solo Fri 10-Jan-14 17:21:50

Have had a naff day today. But I'll climb back onto the wagon and get going again on Tuesday!

we went to visit my parents this week.
unfortunately my mum smokes, not in the house but it permeates everything! we always have to wash or air everything we've taken with us. most if it we did outside, which meant finding a home for lots and lots of damp washing when dark fell!

yesterday, dd emptied an entire shelf of her cupboard, so i had to put it all back. at least I tidied it up whie I was at it. then later zhshe pulled out all of the jars in the kitchen cupboard - no time or inclination to sort those out but it's now on the list...
then she pulled out all the nappies again. angry

Solo Sun 12-Jan-14 23:52:28

Hi all!
How are you all doing? I feel like it's been a nothing week really and the first half of this coming week is likely to be the same! but I will get sorted! really I will!!

Solo Tue 14-Jan-14 00:18:14

Hello? anyone in the house?!

Busyoldfool Tue 14-Jan-14 12:05:29

Haven't done much as have been busy with work. Thrown out some more paper and one or two pieces of junk.
Broke a cup that I have had for 30 years - simply because there was no space and I'd put it on too high a shelf. Initially upset and thought I'd keep the saucer. BUT rationalized that just because it was a present and is old does not mean I have an obligation to keep it. Never really liked it if I am honest. Huge relief to throw both away. Quite an achievement for me though as I am a true hoarder.

Solo Tue 14-Jan-14 14:02:33

smile well done Busy that's more than I have done for a while!
Hopefully, Thursday will be a busy day at home for me though!

nickelbabe Tue 14-Jan-14 21:30:49

i've not really done anything. I did tell dh to sort out his drawers wink
dd keeps pulling everything out of them, so he's been sorting them out, putting paperwork/documents away and putti g his everyday stuff in a drawer she can't reach.

and all dd's happyland are in a big box. she helped by putting the duplo jngrin so more boxesxin the bin!

Solo Tue 14-Jan-14 23:36:35

You have done something nickel ...more than me for sure!

Busyoldfool Wed 15-Jan-14 16:03:03

I managed to get rid of some wood that I have been keeping for 10 years, ( "just in case I need it"). Hated doing it - and there was other stuff that should have gone but didn't - but a little at a time.
Glad this thread is here - it has helped me. (and thankful it is anonymous as I am so ashamed of my need to hoard). Thanks for starting it Solo

Tommetipsy Wed 15-Jan-14 16:16:25

Hello lovelies, just checking in.

Have been forced to clear the spare doom as my sister is staying with us for 4 weeks from tomorrow. Her flat has been sold and the buyers needed in early and she saved the sale basically by moving in with us. Bless her she has agreed to help me with childcare so I will get a bit of time to tidy/ clear out. I've been going up to bed 20 mins earlier so can put away clean washing. DH has been cleaning the kitchen while I do this. We're having to be much tidier as we have found out we have mice. Personally I blame the manky students next door...

I read somewhere on here that drawers/ cupboards should be 80% full so am trying to work towards this. DH's paperwork drawers are still ram jammed though...

Solo Thu 16-Jan-14 01:01:30

Glad it's helping! It will be helping me further tomorrow I hope ~ and Friday...and next week. I hope to have a less demanding week and I really 'Must do better!!'

80% full?! that can't be right! shock I only have 2 kitchen drawers (in the kitchen) and I guess one is ok, but the other...! ahem!!

I went through a bedroom drawer last year and I'm proud to say that I did throw away some old make up. Kept lots too though...but a little at a time eh?! <liking that>

Solo Fri 17-Jan-14 13:23:06

Not doing well here. Not feeling so well atm.

MN216 Fri 17-Jan-14 13:35:32

Hello hoarders/declutterers. With the help of some lovely MNetters who were willing to be guinea pigs last year, I finally got my long-held dream of launching a decluttering business off the ground. Has been ticking along for a while but I need some more guinea pigs to help me work out how best to develop it and the services I offer. Am therefore genuinely offering any of you living within an hour or so of Watford a free 3 hour session, in return for some honest feedback on the service provided. Can provide references if necessary and hope that posting this does not constitute an advert (it didn't last year when i posted a similar offer) - please report if you think it does and I will slink away with a red face. PM me if you think you might be interested.

Solo Fri 17-Jan-14 14:11:21

Hi MN216 smile good for you! I could do this too. I can get stuck in for other people, it's just sorting my own out that I find difficult sad

I'm afraid that personally, my shame would not allow me to accept your very generous offer. Unfortunate for you as I am about an hour from Watford!!

nickelbabe Fri 17-Jan-14 23:19:53

I haven't had a chance. I'm feeling a bit depressed about it, because I've (we've) done the most obviulous easy stuff and it's bits and day-to-day crap that's there, lying and taunting.
sad

I have had to move stock boxes away from the wall because the recent heavy rain has made it damp. which makes it look more messy.

I bought some new things today - a clothes rail and a few boxes, but they're for when I take my sewing to market. <sigh>
and now I realise that I've got to sew a few more things before I'm ready for it.
but I haven't tidied.
and the clothes I sorted out the other week are still sitting in their bags waiting to go to charity.

nickelbabe Fri 17-Jan-14 23:23:54

mn216. I don't care if it's an advert.
I am in kent, so don't know if I qualify, but I think tgat it's very much state of mind.
I want to make space and I want to get rid of crap, but I am worried that I would be "forced" into getting rid of my important stuff
if you also included ways of making good use of important stuff (eg helping to display family photos, or storing stuff properly) then I might be ready.

Solo Fri 17-Jan-14 23:35:24

Nickel tell me about your sewing and market thing please. I, when I'm in a better place (read 'sorted out') want to sew and sell, but not sure exactly where to start.

nickelbabe Sun 19-Jan-14 21:53:29

whennthe bookshop was in its last days, I was trying to think of ways I could get some money.
i love sewing and am.rather good, making dd some clothes etc. I love cloth nappies, so had a go at them and cloth sanitary towels because it made sense.
so I thought about making and selling them.
I now have a core "range" of shirred bodice dresses, toddler trousers, nappies, nappy wraps (I am selling totsbots and lollipop nappies too), kids' hats and sanitary towels.
so I've been spending lots of time making stuff (and experimenting with patterns and designs/methods)
and accidentally buying new fabric blush

nickelbabe Sun 19-Jan-14 21:58:04

regards selllling it - I set up a website and a fb page and enlisted 5 people to receive free garments in exchange for honest feedback.
I also displayed stuff in my bookshop and put a listing on nethuns blush - I got an invitation to sell at a children's centre event through that
and I googled "craft markets" and "baby markets"

I'm restricted in that I can't do Sunday and a lot of them are on Sundays (this one in feb is, but it's about 500yds from home so got to do it!)

nickelbabe Sun 19-Jan-14 22:00:50

re: decluttering.
grin

dh has a week off in March, so we've discussed taking a couple of days of it, emptying the loft, finish boarding it out, put some short bookcases in and then put the necessary stuff back, on the shelves nice and tidy.

Solo Sun 19-Jan-14 23:55:22

Hmmmm..interesting! I make things too. Sewing, knitting etc. I have a large stash of fabrics and lots of patterns from 1980's magazines. Actually, I have all the mags too! blush I'd like to do craft fairs. But! I can't do anything until I've sorted my house out!

Rather envious that you can put bookshelves in your loft! I can hardly stand upright in most of mine!

Rummikub Mon 20-Jan-14 00:33:55

I used to have lots of mags with patterns too. I kept them for years before finally deciding they had to go.

Think I am going to tackle my paper clutter first. I keep losing important things.

Does anyone have any good suggestions? I dont have the space for a filing cabinet.

80pc full drawers?? Gosh, mine are over flowing!

Busyoldfool Mon 20-Jan-14 08:48:30

Hi Everyone - just checking in.
I did quite well last week but am back to square one this week.
I did go to the tip but it was a drop in the ocean and I still have piles and boxes everywhere.

It is partly physical. I need someone to pack boxes for me and take them away. But the emotional stuff is a huge factor as is the organizational aspect. Everyone's circumstances are different and everyone's reasons for their clutter are different. Clutter is a symptom of a range of other problems and unless they are solved the clutter won't be either. But, in a typical vicious circle, the clutter is the thing that prevents the solving of any of these other deeper issues. Or at least that's how I feel.

Busyoldfool Mon 20-Jan-14 08:55:43

PS, Nickelbabe, I think you make a good point about being forced into getting rid of stuff. Anyone who looks at my heaps and says that I should "just get rid of all this junk" is in effect saying that my life/achievements/values/things I love are worthless.

Often it also means that they are telling me that my hopes, (of a revival in my career/new home/ slimmer figure/return to whatever), are dashed. Any decluttering has to be about the positive and a positive use of stuff is part of that.

nickelbabe Mon 20-Jan-14 14:22:58

the bookshelves are only 1mtr high ones.

busy you've hit the nail on the head

Solo Mon 20-Jan-14 19:28:09

Busy your last two posts are bloody spot on.

Got to sort this mess out!

Nickel I would waste so much space by using metre high shelving.

I have to empty my loft and all the rooms in order to get the rewiring done.

nickelbabe Mon 20-Jan-14 22:42:35

ah, well, ours isn't fully boarded out, so the shelving would be further back than the current boarding.

Well, we've discovered a new way of decluttering. Can't decide where that lovely anglepoise fluorescent tube lamp should go? Stick it up in the loft, then, when you need to get the spare (thankfully not yet thrown out) baby car seat out, you can just accidentally throw it to the ground, smashing it in such a way that renders it useless. Now all that can be done is throwing it!
(DD had been using it as a toy, and it was getting sooooo annoying how she would drag it round the bloody house looking for plug sockets to plug it into, that we decided it should go in the loft out of her sight)

Solo Mon 20-Jan-14 23:39:15

grin

Solo Thu 23-Jan-14 18:49:25

<sigh> this is just. not. happening!!!

nickelbabe Thu 23-Jan-14 23:51:49

it gets w

Solo Thu 23-Jan-14 23:54:50

w?

nickelbabe Thu 23-Jan-14 23:56:33

ffs crappy tablet!

it getscworse though.

dd's blood test results came yesterday and one of the things she might possibly be allergic to is dust mites. <sigh>

as if the whole decluttering thing isn't hard enough as it is, we've got to worry about dust mites! I can't even access most of the places that are likely to have mites, and I can't tidy enough (especially places dd is!) to be able to Hoover properly.

oh, and dd gets freaked out when the Hoover is fetched, never mind switched on!

Solo Fri 24-Jan-14 00:01:03

<sigh again> My Dd has come up in a rather angry looking patch of eczema on one arm and a not so angry one on the other...I'm thinking dust too.

The Hoover thing. They grow out of it. Ds used to scream when I used the Dyson or my hair dryer until he was about 4. So the sight of it was enough to set him off and I actually think it hurt his ears. It's a common problem apparently.

Solo Fri 24-Jan-14 00:02:48

The storage company is going to ring me again in a few days to ask whether/when I'm going to actually use them...

Svina Fri 24-Jan-14 00:59:51

Hello everyone. Thank you for being here!

I am svina and I hate throwing things away.

I also live in rented accommodation and will be moving in approx 3 months.... To a smaller place so I need to get cracking!

Anybody suggest some good starting points? I have lots of sewing machines, fabric, paints, paintings, clothes useful bits of paper, and so on... It feels overwhelming.

Solo Fri 24-Jan-14 11:49:03

Hi Svina! welcome!

My first piece of advice is if you aren't already, sign up to your local Freecycle or Freegal sites and start giving away some of those sewing machines. Pick out the one or two that you want to keep (I have two that I use, plus a serger and an antique machine that I love but can't use). I too have lots of fabrics and crafting things and bought a big shed in order to get them out of the house. So if you are moving, will you have the space for well organised craft stuffs? could you box them up and keep them in a spare room or in a shed?
You should find that anything crafty like fabrics and paints will go very quickly if you offer them up on Freecycle. I know how hard it is trying to get rid of them though.

Solo Fri 24-Jan-14 11:50:16

And yes to the overwhelming feelings! I am there too which is why I'm Mnetting instead of sorting. I only came on to send an email...

Svina Fri 24-Jan-14 17:08:59

Hello solo! (and all)

Oh no! I can't bear the idea of getting rid of my beloved machines! I have 3... One large one I will keep in the new house, one tiny hand machine which is so small I'm sure I can keep it. I guess the third one will have to go..... I may take it to my sisters as she doesn't have one.

Some of the fabrics are family heirlooms.... I wonder wether I was identified as a useful repository for such things years ago.... I guess handing them to me means others can feel good about having avoided throwing them away without having them cluttering up their homes. Hmmmm

I think you are right, I need a space to store stuff. Then I will be able to rationalise without feeling so overwhelmed by the need to squeeze into a smaller space.

In the mean time I think I must rationalise some of the paper clutter I have accumulating...... Slightly less emotive than my artistic clutter!

Svina Sat 25-Jan-14 00:45:06

P.s. just noticed that I have whined about other people dumping stuff on me in the very next sentence after planning to dump a sewing machine on my sister! Hmmmm

Solo Sat 25-Jan-14 02:18:28

Haha! yes! I get that too. I get stuff from others and I (sometimes) give stuff to others as it feels better to do so. If they then get rid...well, I wasn't the one to do it!

nickelbabe Sat 25-Jan-14 22:02:44

3 machines isn't bad. if you use them all.
my tip for craft/sewing stuff is to get a couple/few boxes of various sizes and sort through everything.
gabric in one/two boxes (large ones•. any fabric that you think you won't use, bag it up gor Phil the Bag or similar.
one box for patterns, one for machine and sewing accessories (scissors/glue/pencils/needles/pattern square /tape measure/pliers/tweezers/pins/sctewdrivers/feet)
one box for haberdashery /notions. (elastic/zips/tibbons/presstuds/bias binding)
one box for threads
one box for buttons

and one box for current projects.

do the same gor other craft stuff.
you must be ruthless though- if it's tatty or incomplete or you won't use it, it goes.

Svina Sat 25-Jan-14 23:31:12

No, I only use 2 of them.....

I have done a fairly thorough sort out of the fabrics.... I definately need a shed though because when I am doing a project I need to be able to see all of what I have got. ATM I have a box here and a box there... Easy to forget about one.

My aim for next week is to file my paperwork; hopefully relegating much to the recycling in the process.

Solo Sun 26-Jan-14 02:07:48

Good work already then Svina smile

Busyoldfool Mon 27-Jan-14 22:23:04

Just catching up with the thread again.
I have done a few car boot fairs but sold nothing really - just got depressed by it all. DD gave me a really hard time about the mess too. Quite rightly. Put some stuff on Gumtree but no replies. Feeling a bit low today. Will go to bed and try again in the morning. Good to hear that others are doing ok though.

Solo Tue 28-Jan-14 00:30:49

Busy don't get too disheartened. What about putting a few things up for sale on <whispers> nethuns? it's free and I sold quite a few of my baby things on there. Worth a try smile

I've got nothing done yet, but am in tomorrow and need to focus!

Busyoldfool Wed 29-Jan-14 12:28:16

Thank you for this Solo. Really. It does help to know that someone understands that it is not an easy thing to deal with. Good luck with your sorting. I might have a look at that other site wink.

Going over to my Mum's today. Might store some stuff at hers but I can see that it is only postponing the problem. If I won the lottery I'd buy a mansion with several aircraft hangars attached - problem solved! grin

Solo Wed 29-Jan-14 14:17:57

grinBusy!!

I have some bits at mums, but she wants them out.

I have been doing a bit at home today <proud>, you wouldn't really know it mind!

Be back later...

Busyoldfool Sat 01-Feb-14 22:40:27

Just thought I'd see how everyone was.

I was quite down about a lot of things but the mess is making it all worse so I brought down four or five huge plastic boxes of papers - stuff all just thrown in.

I managed two bags of shredded bills and junk mail - but I had to look through them first. Every letter had to be read and worried over before I dared get rid of it. "But what if I need it....???"

Success though as I found several key pieces of paper, two cheques and a bill. I now feel a bit less panicky about what's lurking there.

How did you get on with your paperwork last week Svina?

Solo Sat 01-Feb-14 23:56:34

Well done Busy! smile I'm like you! I have to read everything too which takes so much time...I'm the same if I'm deciding to get rid of magazines yeah right! I have to check every blinking page first, have a read of anything interesting etc...takes forever!

I'm still lagging behind here. And yes, the mess makes me feel worse too. I get angry. Got to get sorted out!!!

Busyoldfool Tue 04-Feb-14 19:32:57

Yep, I'm the same with magazines. Recipes, articles, "design ideas" Ha!Ha! am trying to throw away one or two a week - and just not buy anymore. Easier said than done.

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 00:40:35

Been sorting kitchen today. Progress ok, but more to do tomorrow!

SavingMyselfForLukePerry Thu 06-Feb-14 09:44:49

Hello. I'm a bit late to the party. I'm a big hoarder and always read these type of threads with interest. My problem was that I had LOADS of stuff (mostly clothes, books, soft furnishings) that I'd bought pre DS when I had too much disposable income. Yesterday I got rid of all of it. Literally. My main problem is that I always want to sell things to lessen the pain of the money I'd wasted on 'stuff'. I booked an online collection from BHF as we have a sofa to get rid of and they collect all your other donations too, so I sent ds to nursery for the day, went into the room of doom and started bagging. I kept a massive pile for 'selling' then I just realised that the room would never be clear if I kept trying to sell shit for next to nothing and took a deep breath and bagged it all for the charity shop. Once it was in the bags and tied up, I didn't give a second thought to the skirt I had agonised over keeping or the expensive jeans I thought I might fit into in some utopian future. Two men turned up in a van, took it all away and I never have to think about it again. I'm now vowing to do a monthly charity shop run to try to keep clutter free. No doubt I won't stick to it, but for now I'm pretty proud of myself. Booking a charity collection and not allowing myself toto try and sell anything worked for me.

SavingMyselfForLukePerry Thu 06-Feb-14 09:47:23

I did keep all my baby clothes, equipment for an upcoming nct sale though so have cheated a bit!

Solo Thu 06-Feb-14 10:24:25

Wow! that's impressive!! well done you smile

I don't have furniture to get rid of really. I did do a lot of clothing getting rid of sort of thing though and yes! I am proud too. We have a right to be proud.

Keep up the good work!!

cricketpitch Fri 07-Feb-14 20:42:25

saving, that is interesting. I too worry about waste. Things I have bought and no longer need but can't bear to throw away and think that if I sell I will recoup the losses and then not have to feel so guilty. (It is more about the guilt than the actual cash.)

That was brave of you but clearly it worked. Well done.

SavingMyselfForLukePerry Fri 07-Feb-14 22:11:01

God, yeah guilt was a big factor for me too. Guilt about the money wasted, environmental impact and also guilt associated with items bought for me by my Mum who i don't get on well with and my grandparents who I fear will not be here much longer. We are redecorating and I just decided that I had to cut my losses: the guilt and nagging feeling that I should be ebaying/listing on gumtree/sorting for the loft or keeping or charity shopping has now gone. I just bagged everything i hadn't touched for years and shut the door until the man came with his van. Don't know how i did it, but feel so much better for it. Sorting, selling, storing was never going to work for me: bag all the shit up and vow never to buy so much crud ever again!

Solo Wed 12-Feb-14 00:48:36

Been sorting today again, but looks a mess still! must do better!

How is everyone else doing?

Solo Thu 13-Feb-14 00:29:20

Still sorting, decluttering, throwing away, wondering what the heck I'm going to do with everything!!!

cricketpitch Fri 14-Feb-14 18:05:30

I booked a storage unit today. I "take possession" next Thursday. I plan to go through the house and sort stuff into boxes and get it out of the house. Then, when I can see clearly maybe I can make decisions a bit more easily.

When I am surrounded by mess I can't think straight, I can't see the floor, I can't make decisions. It is a tough task and all I want to do is hide under the duvet and not look at any of it!

Solo how are you doing with the throwing away? What can you do with it? What is it mostly?

Solo Fri 14-Feb-14 20:18:36

It's mostly paperwork that needs going through and throwing out/shredding, but things like coat hangers hmm, books that Dd has out grown (what to do with them!!), I have loads of stuff to get rid of.
I have emptied three underbed, lidded containers of clothing and filled them with next christmas' gifts that I bought in sales. They are now on top of my wardrobes (for now). I have to go through my clothing again, but have already got a bag to go to c4c and a bag of rag for bank, so will get there eventually!
I have got a storage thing reserved, but im going to try to get a lot of boxed stuff in my dining room so I dont have to rent a bigger space.

cricketpitch Sat 15-Feb-14 23:49:17

I understand about the books. DD and DS made big piles of them but i sat with dog-eared copy after dog-eared copy looking at the pictures and thinking, "But I remember reading this to you and you used to love it "

Now with two teens one of whom hardly needs me I think back to those beautiful toddlers all clean from a bath, snuggled under the covers .....
"I wrote to the zoo......" " In a beautiful pea-green boat"......." And his favourite food is fox ice cream".... etc, etc.

I still love the books but they won't have them in their rooms. (Not cool, waste of space..)

I also have a paperwork problem. Clothes not too bad as I haven't bought any really for years. I have a lot of kitchen equipment, electrical stuff, china and glass.

Sounds as if you have made some progress though. That's good. And clothes to c4c and rags is good as they are at least going to be used in some way.

I am going to go to the tip tomorrow with hundreds of pots of paint, (well about 25), all half empty and kept in case i need to touch up a wall or something.

Keep strong.

Solo Sun 16-Feb-14 01:24:45

smile

Babieseverywhere Sun 16-Feb-14 10:21:21

I am making my yearly attempt to declutter, I hope you don't mind people joining this thread ?

<BE waves to Solo > Nice to see you plugging away at your house still....hope things are going well for you.

House wise it is better than last year but I still need to get rid of stuff. I have chucked all old, outgrown clothes for everyone x 6

Cleared out our spare room, we only have bedrooms now....no where to dump stuff, so it all has to go.

We have only got boxes to sort in our room only ! Under our bed are things that need selling or long term storage.

At the foot of my bed I have four boxes of random stuff, 90% needs chucking but I can't do that without reading each sheet and check it isn't important, sigh.

Then at the side of our bed we have four boxes of husbands stuff which he needs to sort though.

Rest of house is looking ok, most surfaces clear appart from a few hot spots I need to put out.

Then next massive job to declutter is too get rid of 2/3 of the toys. Hoping to get that started over the half term holiday...wish me luck. smile

Solo Mon 17-Feb-14 01:22:44

Babies!!!!!!!! grin hello!!!!

Sounds like you've all but cracked it! well done you!

I'm still going, but getting nowhere fast! and ~I'm considering taking Dd away for a few days to visit friends in east Anglia when I ought to be sorting out my house!

cricketpitch Mon 17-Feb-14 16:15:22

Solo - visiting in East Anglia sounds nice. ( Whereas decluttering on the other hand........)
Babies - clear surfaces are unheard of here so you are well ahead of me. Well done.

I didn't go to the tip as we had various unforseen things pop up and it just didn't happen. ( Ice dancing on tv, a single sunny day....) I now have a car full of rubbish.

Tomorrow....

Solo Mon 17-Feb-14 20:38:26

Not going away. Done absolutely nothing today, but must do something tomorrow...

Yes cricket tomorrow...!

cricketpitch Mon 17-Feb-14 22:40:39

Programme on Ch 5 about hoarding. It looks as though it might be interesting. I did watch the Ch 4 "Hoarder Next Door" programmes last year - they were so sad some of them; these people were in real distress.It is a problem which seems to develop with age and is closely connected with depression. Once it starts it can be a vicious circle and needs several types of specialist help to deal with. And it is not as uncommon as you might think.

Interesting to hear about the way people have suffered loss and for whom the possessions give a sense of alleviating that loss. Or the way objects remain as "evidence" if you like of "what the person used to be" - this is particularly so for the older hoarders.

I am not at that stage yet but could see how easy it would be to fall in to it- especially if bouts of ill health or physical incapacity hit.

Certainly now while I am able, I know I need to recognize the difficulties I have with throwing stuff away and tackle it at a psychological level as well as at a simple, basic, practical level.

So good luck to all of you who are struggling with this too.

Solo Tue 18-Feb-14 02:47:50

I saw that too cricket sad all very sad. I knew what the elderly lady would have been feeling about not calling a plumber in as I have been there myself. Didn't have any running water (except mains in the kitchen and the electric shower) for the last 3 summers. I've learn't how to get around the problem, but this year, I want it sorting. Definitely!!

Solo Thu 20-Feb-14 15:37:42

Lazy, lazy week mumsnetting blush

FaceDirectionOfTravel Thu 20-Feb-14 20:30:50

Hi all. My name is FaceDirectionOfTravel and I have a few hoarding tendencies. The minimalist thread wasn't right for me as I can't be ruthless. sad.

Just wondering, has anyone ever hired a professional declutterer? Am considering using one but in a sort of longish term way,not to do one big purge but to help me purge a bit, get some better habits, purge a bit more, re establish habits that have slipped, etc. Like a sort of therapist/cleaner/organiser.

Solo Fri 21-Feb-14 02:26:13

Hi Face welcome!

No, I certainly haven't done that. I just couldn't let anyone else help me at home; I am the only one that can do it ~ for me!
I also think that having done it (when I do), I might be very reluctant to let it go again, so I hope it will stay clear, clean and tidy at that point.

Ouroboros Sat 22-Feb-14 10:08:42

Hello, can I join in please? We have a house bursting with clutter and are hopefully moving in about 5 weeks so would be great to get rid of stuff. Unfortunately I find it difficult to chuck things away for a few reasons (sentimental, ethical, might come in useful etc etc) so it's a difficult process! And my DD takes after me and won't chuck anything, and even sneaks things back out of charity bags and the recycling. My poor old DS who is 18m loves order and tries to tidy up after us but doesn't have much luck. I will go back and read all the thread later, and hopefully feel inspired!

Solo Sun 23-Feb-14 01:56:37

Welcome Ouroboros smile

I don't envy you at all! 5 weeks to sort everything out would send me mad, but good on you for getting going on it. Read and digest and then set your plan in action. I guess that you really have to follow some sort of plan in order to move house and not take it all with you.

I gave away a massive bag of beautiful bras yesterday. I was keeping them in case I could one day wear them again, but then decided that actually, I'll never be a 32C again, so why not get shot of them. So! another small bag of stuff (in the grand scheme of things) GONE!!!

homeaway Sun 23-Feb-14 19:40:48

I have a tip which might help you let go of stuff or maketit easier. I have created my first photo book book and I plan to photograph the kids art work and then ditch it apart from a few things. It us great as you still have a record of things but not the clutter . We are going to be moving to a smaller house so I have to downsize what I have kept.

cricketpitch Mon 24-Feb-14 00:17:37

Sounds as if people are making progress.

Well done Solo for the bras. Understand how hard that is as I have a bag of the same; beautiful, expensive... but don't fit.

I did use a declutterer once but only for one session. I found it helpful but I realized it would take a very long time and things in my life were a mess and I just couldn't face it. I thought it might be something that would work though.

Solo Mon 24-Feb-14 00:32:06

That is a good idea homeaway but for me, I've been mostly quite good with my Dc's artwork and have got rid of a huge amount of it; just kept a few pieces. Having said that; Dd draws me at least 2 pieces a day! so it's difficult! especially if she see's them in the recycling bin! blush. I have to admit that I like to hold the special pieces and feel them.

Babieseverywhere Mon 24-Feb-14 22:43:47

Oh help, DH has just told me that someone is coming tofit a cupboard in our bedroom, next week.

Pants....so I have four boxes to sort through by weekend and so has he. This room HAS to be sorted before non-family enter it.

So kids toys, ironing and decorating are on hold and operation declutter our room begins. Fighting urge to clear all cupboards and rearrange room in order to organise existing stuff, I have to chuck stuff and lots of them.....wish me luck.

Solo Tue 25-Feb-14 00:40:40

Oooh! Babies!! ouch!

I had to have the British Gas boiler man in in December and I did my best to make the hall, stairs and landing and the second bedroom look reasonable. He wanted to check all the radiators and I had to say no! I was mortified. He actually treated me with contempt. I just wanted to cry.

Good luck with sorting those bits out; it'll be a great chunk done for you if you can get it done! smile

Tommetipsy Tue 25-Feb-14 10:12:37

Hello everyone

Broadband meltdown here but back online now.

Sounds like everyone is doing really really well.

Bit up and down here! The loft has been cleared. My sister finally sorted out all her crap. We literally binned everything and bagged up all the clothes as school had a textiles bag thingy on that week.

I was inspired by her bravery and I chucked out 99% of my old college artwork. I kept 2 things I know the DD's like and the rest went. It was actually really therapeutic as I didn't have the best time at art college.

I also took 2 boxes to the chazzer with old photo frames and bits and bobs.

Found masses of old photos too. DH binned all his without even looking at them!! Progress.. My sister found loads of her and ex bf and I found loads of my ex partner. Neither relationship ended well and we just got fits of giggles ripping them up and chucking them out.

My sister also took all my old wicker storage type boxes that used to be in the living room for her new flat plus a bathroom unit thing with drawers.

After that day I was really mentally and physically knackered.

Feeling better now though and ready to tackle some other stuff this week hopefully on Friday once I'm done with some work I have on this week which is dragging on a bit.

Solo Thu 27-Feb-14 00:52:49

Tom that all sounds encouraging smile.

I have been busy today, done more clothes sorting and almost completely dirty laundry free. Where does it come from?!
I stupidly messed about with my ancient gas cookers timer buttons today looking for a reason why my ignition has stopped working. Now the gas won't come through into the oven. I love my old cooker and really don't want to replace it; I've had it nearly 30 years.
I also ordered one of those really expensive new Dysons today. Do you think I'll get rid of my DC01? absolutely not! it will go into the shed in case I need it! blush. It was a gift from Mum and Dad when Ds was born 15.6 years ago. I can't let it go. The new one is a cylinder one, the old one is upright. I have nowhere to keep it really; the new one will be so much easier to put away.

More work tomorrow smile

Babieseverywhere Fri 28-Feb-14 14:40:21

Solo, sounds like you are doing well smile

I spent five hours today sorting out the kids room.

They now have one IKEA bag of stuff each, which I reckon they will want to keep.

One laundry bag of toys which I don't know what to do with yet.

Two crates, one laundry bag and five freestanding large items which need to be donated to charity or sold on EBay.

Cleaned everything using my new Dyson (thanks Mumsnet) and polished the mirror and window.

Tired but glad I got it done. Will go through don't know bag and IKEA bags with the children and see if they want to throw anything else smile

Five bin bags of rubbish and old broken or pieces missing toys and games and an old doll house in my car to. be tipped.

Babieseverywhere Fri 28-Feb-14 14:42:49

So now I have caught up with ALL the ironing, shortly to be finished with with the toys, therefore tomorrow I will start on our room....wish me luck.

Solo Sat 01-Mar-14 01:57:17

Wow Babies!! just WoW!! very impressed smile

Good luck for Saturday.

Babieseverywhere Sat 01-Mar-14 15:21:50

Decided to finish off toy sort on Monday, when my mother is around to help.

Got new duvet and curtains for our room from Argos today and DH found a pot of paint in the garage, we bought for our room months ago and never used. So tomorrow we are both working on our room. smile

Babieseverywhere Tue 04-Mar-14 21:23:24

Finished toys Monday. Today I found our room, it was under all the stuff I was going to deal with....one day, lol

Used the Dyson loads, took photos for review.

Wow, room looks so empty, if you ignore the wall with bookcases full of stuff...next job.

I have three bags of paperwork dowmstairs to sort out and an echoey bedroom to sleep in !

Then the battle of the hidden clutter begins. ?.draws, cupboards and under beds.

Solo Wed 05-Mar-14 00:12:32

Cor Babies! I feel put to shame. I've had two days out this week, so not done anything yet. I'm going to get going tomorrow though smile

Solo Wed 05-Mar-14 00:13:04

Oh and I've actually ordered one of those Dysons off ebay too!!!

Babieseverywhere Fri 07-Mar-14 21:24:42

Haven't touched paperwork mountain....ignoring it as far as possible, lol

Removed one set of shelves and chest of drawers to be chucked...yeah

Bought in two set of small shelves and a kids storage unit...boo

The incoming items mean I can sell/remove three massive floor to ceiling shelving units and the kids storage is needed.

cricketpitch Fri 07-Mar-14 22:30:24

Have been clearing out box by box but into storage unit. It seems to be a way of making the space to think. Maybe just putting off the problem but I can see that I could get a cleaner, clearer house and then tackle the boxes one at a time - off site. There are some things that I find that I know can go - and I have chucked them away - but I haven't felt the pressure to get rid of stuff.

It has been slow as I have been both busy at work and not very well but I feel hopeful.

Solo Fri 07-Mar-14 23:19:00

You both sound as though things are happening. Well done both!!

I have done nothing. Bad Solo sad I'm angry at myself because it's my big birthday in 2 weeks and I could've had people over; 'cept I can't.

Solo Wed 12-Mar-14 00:29:05

Sorted through and organised some of my kitchen cabinets today. Unfortunately discovered that the biggest (2 doubles) is coming away from the wall! not good.
Have now got my medicines in a logical order in three opaque boxes. All my spices and various other foodie bit in baskets in the cupboard, so I can pull the basket out to find what I need/want with no effort.
Tidied and sorted the (on) top of the fridge.

Cleaned bathroom of limescale (again) today too.
Did another load of washing.

Pleased with today!

Babieseverywhere Wed 12-Mar-14 17:52:10

Sounds like you are doing well, Solo. Good on you smile

We have been battling the mother of all D&V bugs in this house and the amount of washing has been the stuff of nightmares.

The house is ok today, I have a reasonable house. Exceptions being the table of paperwork I was aiming to sort out before I had four children puking on me...so no progress there.

I have been doing so much washing and drying and I think I am back to normal non illness levels...as long as there is no further vommit.

I have cleared one of the three bookshelves to be sold. The other two will be done when everyone is well again. Let it be soon. smile

Solo Wed 12-Mar-14 23:22:51

Thanks Babies! today seems to have been busy with no actual results! hmm. Did change and wash/dry my bedding though.
Gave away a couple of brand new childrens bits too.

I'm actually considering giving away my Dc's beds. Dd has a toddler extendable bed which is lovely, but low ~ in really good condition. Ds's pine (was a bunk bed once) bed is very solid, but he has spoiled it angry. Currently he is on a mattress on the floor and Dd is in with me. I only have 2 bedrooms and need to split my room in two. I want to get them both an ottoman bed each. Will help enormously with the lack of space smile

Well done on doing what you have so far Babies, I hope you have a healthy household soon. I dread my Dc's throwing up anywhere indoors as that is likely to cause even more problems.

cricketpitch Tue 18-Mar-14 21:20:40

Had a very busy week with some unexpected work. Need the money so that is good but as usual the house gets ignored.

Have attempted to sort some paper clutter. Brought three carrier bags downstairs and have been through half so far. Shredded a lot of rubbish but put everything else in an alphabetical file to be dealt with later. It is a start but progress is slow.

Sold one household item on ebay - but only one. That's not going to make a huge difference but it is better than nothing..

Am trying to keep positive. It is good to hear that others are making some progress too. Well done.

Solo Sun 23-Mar-14 13:27:11

Just keeping us in the I'm On list!

pinkfluffyslippers01 Sun 23-Mar-14 15:48:10

Hi can I join? I need this thread in my life blush

with 3 dcs our house seems to be took up by alot of baby / kids things and then theres the kitchen drawer that once opened wont shut (letters to be sorted but not lose drawer)

also my parent was/is a hoarder mainly due to health problems and my plan is to sort our house then help sort his something has always got in the way of me being able to go and help as much as I want to and childcare is a problem atm so hoping to sort this out and get my butt into gear to help

just need support really and the odd kick up backside smile

Solo Sun 23-Mar-14 23:39:58

Support is here pfs so welcome! The thread can go a bit quiet at times, but keep posting and keep sorting! smile

womblelancs Wed 26-Mar-14 15:03:44

My BF's kids live abroad and are coming to stay with us in a few weeks time. I'm really looking forward to it, but there's one huge problem: the spare room is so full of 'stuff' that I am going to have to have a major clearout in order to accommodate them. Indeed, I think I need a few weeks in order to do it.

I've always been a hoarder, and pretty untidy with it, and then I will have sudden bursts of enthusiam, have a massive clearout and then lapse into complacency again, as my house fills up with more 'stuff'.

I really want to have a go at selling things on eBay, but I've never done it before and I'm a bit put off by the thought of having to calculate postage and possibly getting it wrong and ending up out of pocket. Does anyone have any good tips, please?

Solo Wed 26-Mar-14 17:34:04

Hi Womble smile I don't have any selling tips as I made a grand total of about 30p when I sold some items.
You could try selling on <whispers> nethuns as you can list free and it would be all local, so could be collection only, no postage. Gumtree too.

Keep posting your progress on here; it's encouraging to read the progress of everyone.

pinkfluffyslippers01 Thu 27-Mar-14 15:53:04

hi everyone so far I have managed to sort a bag of clothes for my friends dd and half a bag of clothes / assorted for charity shop so when that bags full it will be taken

sorted out wardrobe
sorted out kitchen top cupboards

was tackling washing weather has slowed this down but hopefully will get nicer soon

I need to be ruthless as had kept nearly all dcs clothes since born till now (except for some which I sold / gave away / charity shopped) cannot get rid of alot until I know sex of this dc as this is our last child so will get rid of whatever clothing not needed so for now will pack them away safely and store in loft with the other ones until they can be sorted

so jobs for the rest of week / weekend are

-sort top of wardrobe
-sort letter drawer thoroughly
-sort other paperwork that dont need store away paperwork do need
-clear out cupboard
-sort kitchen bottom cupboards

hoping I can do these

how is everyone else getting on? smile

cricketpitch Thu 27-Mar-14 23:16:16

Hi Pinkfluffy Sounds like a good list.

I am doing nothing this week as busy at work but will have another go at the living room at the weekend.

Solo Thu 27-Mar-14 23:20:53

Not a lot going on here, but I have done a fair bit but not enough! in the kitchen.

Babieseverywhere Sat 29-Mar-14 22:50:29

I am sinking !

Overall I have three more boxes of books to go to charity. The old running machine and three eight foot tall shelves have been cleared and brought downstairs....but they are blocking up downstairs till, they get sold. DH to ebay them this week.

Paperwork 50% sorted and I have decided to Evernote pictures of everything for my files and throw as much as possible...wish me luck this is a job which will take me ages. It is the emotion filled stuff which I struggle to sort...but I will do it.

Our room is getting there...still need to sell and sort some things..but down to a small pile.

I know logically things are getting better slowly but I wonder if I can ever get rid of enough stuff to have an easy to keep tidy house. Oh well, just have to keep plugging away.

Solo Sun 30-Mar-14 00:34:21

You are doing really well Babies so well done!

cricketpitch Sun 06-Apr-14 09:18:25

Just thought I'd see how everyone was doing. Clearly progress is being made, ( v impressed Babies - don't give up - even a little bit is good), but it is also important that we acknowledge the real difficulties in doing this. We can better support each other if we do.

I have had lots of work - good as I have had almost nothing for months and things were getting scary - but the house is a mess.

I am doing the paperwork and am making progress but so slow......
The storage unit is full of stuff which is good as I have made some space in the house but has to some extent moved the problem.

I do see it as a process though as I was able to make decisions about chucking stuff as I moved it and that was easier somehow. Also having a bit more clear space in the house means I can live in it more comfortably and it is so much easier to tackle the paperwork for example in a room that is not piled high with boxes of books and kitchen equipment.

Keep going - and keep posting - it is really good to know that you are there.

Solo Sun 06-Apr-14 14:11:06

Cricket you sound so positive. Even if it is slow going, it is happening!!

I'm supposed to be away, but Dd is ill, so we are home for at least a week. Yesterday, I went through a fair bit of my 'dining room' cum dump cum laundry hmm and have more clothing to take to C4C. I really must take it soon so that I have a bit more space.
Sadly, I seem to have passed my bad habits onto my Dc's, but they have extended it into just dropping stuff where they stand. Not a good thing.

For the next few days at least, I am going to continue with the clothing clearance.
I have caught up on my washing. Tick

I have realised that every surface gets covered/cluttered up very quickly. This must change. I must get more organised.

womblelancs Tue 15-Apr-14 09:20:33

Well, I've not made much progress. The other day, I sorted through 6 boxes and reduced the contents to 4 boxes, but my BF informed me that the place looked messier than when I started sad

Work has been hell for the past couple of weeks, so by the time I've got home in the evening, I've just not had the energy to start sorting things to sell. There's just so many other things to do.

I WILL de-clutter! I will!

womblelancs Tue 15-Apr-14 09:22:54

Oh yeah, and the kids are, supposedly, due to land on 26 April. I have a feeling that I will end up shoving the entire contents of the spare room into binbags and ramming it in the loft :s

cricketpitch Tue 15-Apr-14 23:36:09

The good weather has helped my mood but I have been busy and not really tackled the house.

Still struggling with the overwhelming nature of the task which seems impossible but also with the "who am I?" and "what next?".

I sort and pack and then look at it and think, "but what if....?",, "maybe I should...." and put stuff aside to decide about later.

When I was younger it seemed easier. My DD has some of that energy - which is nice to be around. She sees a future whereas I am scared to let go of the past - (in case the future doesn't work out).

Solo - I was positive - and still am really - but it is not easy and life is so difficult. I am sorry to hear that your DD is/was ill. ( Hoping she is better now - ten days later).

I will keep checking in on this thread though - it helps.

Solo Wed 16-Apr-14 00:57:42

Womble sad. It does seem to be that way doesn't it? looking worse when you think you have made progress than before you started. It's really frustrating!!! I too am a bit of a 'shove it somewhere to hide it' kinda gal too, but I've got nowhere to hide it now as I only have the two bedrooms, but need three. Ds is 16, nearly 16 and Dd is 7. If I could actually get sorted, I could get the important jobs done and then split my current bedroom into two and the Dc's could have their own space. I've had the ideas and equipment for near on 3 years! whereas what I should have done was sort out the house and then get the equipment. It's just something else (lots of it) in the way!!! I need to get the house rewired and new windows and the lounge replastered including the ceiling. They are the massive jobs inside the house and I can't get them done whilst the house is in its current state!!!

Cricket hi! It is so overwhelming isn't it?! and I so identify with everything you say there. "Who am I? what next?" and my favourites! "But what if?" and "Maybe I should..."
You know those bags of clothing I mentioned to go to C4C? well, they are now in the porch. Minus all the jeans... because I'm going to make one of [[ www.e-patternscentral.com/detail.html?code=ES00162&source=EPOTDE THESE]] but all in denim for my son...
Life is difficult, but I've worked out that my life (and possibly yours too) is made more difficult because of our hoarding and clutter.

Last week before my Dd was ill (actually, nearly two weeks ago! and yes, she's fine now thank you), I was going through some of my Mums paperwork and to stop Dd from being bored, I got her to put into piles papers to recycle and papers to shred.
Now my lovely Dad died nearly 5 years ago and I had kept a letter (that was addressed to my Dad) in my Mums filing cabinet. At first it was because we needed it. Then it was because I couldn't bear to get rid of it. I told no one about this btw. Anyway, I decided it should finally go and I threw it down for Dd to put into the shred it pile. She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes; fear almost. I asked her what the matter was and she looked at this letter she was holding and she told me "I don't want to shred this" (remember she is 7 and was not even 20 months old when Dad died). I asked her why and she looked at the paper not saying anything until I pushed her and she said "because it's..." I asked her what she wanted to do with it and she didn't know, so I said (God help me) "Do you want to keep it?" and she nodded. I hid it in my bag for her. The relief on her face!!!
Now I know she see's the mess at home, but I don't voice my 'thing' about keeping stuff. Is this a genetic thing we have? My Dad was a hoarder...it might come in handy kinda man. All this makes me feel even more guilty for my children.

I have not done any more despite my resolve to do more. I could cry...

womblelancs Wed 16-Apr-14 10:43:07

Blimey, Solo, it sounds like you have a lot of work on your hands there! There's a few jobs we need to get done, but other things just get in the way all the time. I really want to put doors between the kitchen and dining room. It's not an urgent job, but something I really do want, if nothing else to keep the dog from under my feet when I'm battling with hot pans, etc.

I know exactly what you mean about hanging on to things. I keep some things because they have a sentimental value and other things because, well, you know, they might come in useful once day.

I'm not as bad as one of my friends, though. He has a garage and a workshop absolutely rammed full of 'stuff'. I always ask him, before going out and buying DIY things, because he usually has spares. He has what he calls his 'gizzit bag', which is a great big sack full of odd nuts, bolts, bits of pipe, connectors for things, etc. Whenever someone is throwing anything away, he says "gizzit me!". I must admit, though, I've had a few useful items out of that bag which have saved me some money.

Solo Wed 16-Apr-14 23:14:44

Yes, a lot to get done. It seems like a mountain to climb sad

Doors. Yes, that's another thing! I want new doors all round inside the house. I also want to take up the laminate in the hall and kitchen and replace the kitchen stuff with laminate tiles and have solid oak flooring through from the hall into the lounge. Paint the kitchen wall tiles (fully tiled!) and replace the worktops and sink/drainer.
New carpet on stairs and landing. There's more to do than I want to think about as it's a scary project to tackle alone!
Then there's the outside. Trees to fell and gardens to re do completely! (currently a jungle).

I also have a friend like yours. Has bits for everything!

Tommetipsy Fri 18-Apr-14 21:46:20

Hello

Just checking in. Like the sound of your plans Solo.

Few bits done here mainly as we were given two ikea trofasts by a friend who is moving overseas and is having a clear out. One has gone in the hall for book bags and ballet stuff. The other is outside in the lean to and has sand toys, crocs, wellies etc.

Still loads to do though as always. I'm hoping DH can take some time off soon. He's working again this weekend

Happy Easter folks!

Solo Sat 26-Apr-14 00:31:34

Have done quite a bit over the last two days! Feeling good about it!

Rocking horse and massive soft toy horse, baby/toddler books gone, some Peppa Pig toys...Mega Blocks, some soft toys ALL GONE!!! very pleased!

Also threw out lots of Dd's drawings and old art work. Have not told her!

I'm so pleased!!! but much to still get done!

Solo Mon 05-May-14 02:34:07

Boxing books atm...

PurpleFrog Mon 05-May-14 15:39:26

Who is winning, Solo - you or the books?

Or do you mean you are packaging them up? grin

Solo Mon 05-May-14 23:06:43

That took a while for the penny to drop Purple! grin. Yes, I'm packing them away in boxes. Very heavy and dusty job!!

PurpleFrog Tue 06-May-14 12:26:08

grin

Solo Thu 08-May-14 01:20:41

It goes on and on...but I can see a little progress.

Nanny0gg Sat 10-May-14 09:06:03

Reading this thread with interest. I'm not a hoarder, but I am a procrastinator, and I am sitting at a desk covered in stuff that needs dealing with (and let's not mention one or two other rooms/cupboards/loft spaces...).
Thing is, I know what to do and how to do it, I just don't get around to it...

A thought on a previous post of yours, Solo. That letter of your Dad's that you kept for your DD.
See, one of the things I don't understand on the Hoarding programmes I watch, is when the Hoarder gets really upset if something 'precious' is thrown away, when it's been under a pile of rotting garbage for years (not saying this is your situation btw!). Surely if it's precious it should be cared for?
So - with something like that letter, don't hide it in bag, or put it in a plastic box, put it in a Keepsake box or an album, which is only for really special, precious items, not the gas bill from 5 years ago. Do the same with cards. Because that way, you get to decide whether they're really 'worth' putting somewhere special and not just in another pile or box out of sight. Then the keepsake box can be kept on display to be looked through and cherished, not just more storage (which can become another issue in itself).

Does that make sense?

<tootles off to follow own advice>

Solo Sun 11-May-14 00:46:40

NannyOgg thank you; that is very good advice smile
I admit to keeping all birthday cards and even Christmas cards. However! I have been doing better with those and been getting rid of lots! I tend to keep 'last years' until I get next years iyswim? so that should the sender die (I know, I know!!), I still have the last card they sent me. I do cherish them and I read their messages and their names with a smile on my face and often tears in my eyes. I repeat though; I am getting better at getting rid!!
I won't ever through any cards away from people like my Grand parents or my deceased aunts and uncles and my Dad? if the card was written by him, I look at all the letters he wrote in each word; the way he formed his letters etc and I will touch the words and feel the indentations...can't help it. Sorry.

Solo Sun 11-May-14 00:47:18

throw not though.

Nanny0gg Sun 11-May-14 10:23:23

won't ever through any cards away from people like my Grand parents or my deceased aunts and uncles and my Dad? if the card was written by him, I look at all the letters he wrote in each word; the way he formed his letters etc and I will touch the words and feel the indentations...can't help it. Sorry.

Now I think that's fine. You are keeping things with real meaning for you and I see the point of that. So again, keeping them safe, somewhere you can look at them is fine. Keeping something like that, in a safe and thoughtful place isn't hoarding in my mind. Especially if you only keep a few important ones, not all.

Solo Sun 11-May-14 13:47:16

I'm getting better at getting rid of the not so important ones to me.

cricketpitch Mon 19-May-14 22:15:56

Just wanted to see how it was going. I have had so much work recently - no time - but the problem doesn't go away. I have done a little bit though, (small in comparison to others here). Some paperwork, some junk in the garage that has been there for nearly twenty years. Good

Really just wanted to connect with the thread again.

Solo Tue 20-May-14 00:18:48

Hi cricket smilenice to see you!
I haven't touched anything for a couple of weeks now either as I've been unwell. Hoping to do a bit tomorrow.

LizzieMint Tue 20-May-14 15:30:21

Hi, I don't know if this is the right place to post but I just feel like I could cry. My H is a hoarder. He absolutely refuses to believe it though. We're trying to move house at the moment and he refuses to let me sort through any of his stuff - he never has time to do it himself. So I can just see that what we'll have to do is shove it all in a storage unit and take it all with us. sad
He isn't a classic hoarder I suppose, more of a collector. Magazines, books, records, CDs, more books, games etc. we have an outbuilding at our current house and I just went in to see if I could shift anything in there from the house. He currently has 45 of the really useful plastic storage boxes (big ones!) stuffed full, so no, I can't. I don't know where to start. sad
Is there any way I can help him to see it's a problem? If we talk about it, his response is always that I have just as much stuff - true I do have a lot of stuff myself, but nowhere near on the scale of his. If I point that out, he just switches off and refuses to engage any more.

Solo Tue 20-May-14 18:40:34

Hi Lizzie I'm so sorry that you are facing this; you are welcome here as is your Dh, but I don't know what good it will do you really if he won't accept his problem.
On here, we all know what our problem is and we are trying to tackle it, but we have of course, accepted that we have a problem and that has to be the first step. If you are moving house, then you have limited time and he has got to get to grips with it; storage is expensive enough when storing things that aren't collections or 'rubbish'.
When do you actually move house?

LizzieMint Tue 20-May-14 20:33:52

No date at the moment Solo, we have to get our house clear of stuff first! I think deep down he knows, which is why he doesn't ever want to talk about it, it's just facing it and tackling it. What was it that made you realise it was a problem? Anything specific or was it gradual?
We almost made progress a while back when an equally obsessive collector friend died suddenly and my H helped to sort through all of his things. He said then he realised how pointless it was but it didn't really translate into any action.

Solo Tue 20-May-14 22:59:27

Well no date could be good, but equally bad if you have suddenly only got 3 weeks or something. I think all of us 'know' deep down long before we even admit it. There must be something that triggered the hoarding in the first place with him...with me, I think it was a mixture of not having very much (we were never hungry, but we I always had the neighbours cast off clothes regardless of their age! I was very tall and adults clothing was often given to me). Toys/dolls/games etc were only for Christmas or birthdays. I still to this day have some my dolls and all my bears. A lot of them are in near perfect condition though the dolls don't all have their clothes now...they each hold a memory and I'm someone who lives in the past a lot in my head.
My problem started to snowball when 10 people in my life died including my Dad in under a year, and I caught my Dd's father with another woman. I couldn't throw anything at all away. Receipts would be scrutinised for the date and would be categorised as my life before it fell apart or my life since sad sad really. I still find myself searching for dates, but I am now able to throw them away again. I just don't seem able to organise my home. I know it's awful and I know the children know it's awful and I have bursts where I do a bit/a lot, but it's never ever enough...I had 6 months of counselling btw which helped me enormously with the emotional side of things. Both my parents were/are a bit hoarder like and my Dad, brother and I have mild OCD though it doesn't cause major problems for everyday living...apart from Dad being dead of course! (yes, you can smile!!).

I can't tell you what you can do to sort this out, but your Dh has to face it and sort it or you can't move or move forward. But he knows that.

LizzieMint Tue 20-May-14 23:15:22

Thank you solo, I appreciate you sharing your story. What a sad time you must have had losing so many people so quickly.
We've got some time next week to sort through house things so I will tackle it again.

Solo Wed 21-May-14 00:01:33

I wish you luck. I also wish your Dh the strength and resolve to do what he knows he must.
Let us know how it goes please Lizzie.

cricketpitch Wed 21-May-14 21:24:20

Hi Lizzie,

So sorry to hear this - it must be hard for you - you really can't do much until your DH is ready.

With me I realised I had a problem when My DD said she was ashamed of her home. Also things got damaged. I stored them for ages and then when I looked at them they had rotted or decayed and I realised how stupid I had been - that I had just wasted them in effect.

A bit at a time - and lots of support - that is what helps. You are doing the right thing.

My DP does not support me - he attacks me and ridicules me.

My DD went through a box of my essays, (from 1978-82!!!!), and helped me shred them. She reassured me that I am still that person, that person who could write those essays; I didn't need to keep the evidence. Hugely helpful.

LizzieMint Wed 21-May-14 22:54:37

Ah the essays! I did manage to persuade him to get rid of the school books he'd kept (all of them) when he turned about 30. Things getting damaged is his worst nightmare, he's incredibly meticulous about things and to be fair, some of it is quite valuable. But there are things that he's kept for so long they've passed their valuable stage (records!).
I know how unhappy and stressed having all the stuff makes him, which makes it seem crazy to hold on to it. I will report back after next week, thank you so much for the support and just being able to talk about it.

Solo Thu 22-May-14 00:20:30

Goodness! I'm 50 and still have my school books blush. I can't bear to get rid of them.
Cricket your Dd sounds brilliant. I can see that my children are ashamed of our home too. It's a great reason for getting it sorted.

Lizzie do keep coming here. Believe it or not, you are helpful to us too smile

Solo Thu 22-May-14 23:37:30

A bit more done this week though still so much more to do. I have banned Dd from even going near her toy boxes and trunks as they are piled up in the corner of the lounge. Apart from anything else, they could fall on her if she tries to mess up my good work get toys out.

Over the last couple of days I have boxed up vases and crystals and breakable collectables. I have put away a lot of Dd's clothes and I have put away more of Dd's toys into the boxes.

Hoping to be energised for a stint tomorrow.

cricketpitch Mon 26-May-14 21:30:43

A very wet bank holiday Monday. I had to work but things really got me down today. Couldn't face any sorting out today. ( There are days like that though!).

Day off tomorrow and have invited a few neighbours in, (have hidden much of the mess upstairs and as I have a downstairs loo there is no possible reason why anyone would go upstairs.). This is progress though.

I do still have one or two school books too, but just one or two. The essays took up a lot of space though.

Records.... I still have mine even though I haven't played them for thirty five years. Did sell some -- a mistake - another story....

Agree with Solo - it is good that you are here Lizzie - don't abandon us!

Well done too Solo for boxing up collectables. ( I have so many glass and china vases --- love them!). I do believe that is easier to let stuff go if you are leaving it for something better. Maybe we need help in seeing that.

Let's hope for better weather tomorrow - that would help!!

Solo Tue 27-May-14 00:44:10

smile

PurpleFrog Wed 28-May-14 13:37:39

It must be the season for it! I got my box of school notes (dating from 1979-1982) down from the loft 2 weekends ago, after deciding it was probably time to get rid of them. I threw out O'Grade History immediately - quite topical since one of the three topics we covered was the First World War!

Dd is sitting her National 5 exams at the moment. Yesterday evening she had a look through my O'Grade Biology, Physics and Chemistry notes, comparing things to what she has done and pointing out that her messy writing isn't actually a lot worse than mine was at her age! These notes have now joined History in the paper recycling bin. I must have got rid of things like English and French years ago, but only kept the things where I might want to "look something up". hmm

Now I just have to go through the Higher and CSYS Science notes. grin

Babieseverywhere Wed 28-May-14 19:38:13

I am back and having managed to clear another binman of my paperwork mountain. Still got half the very large dining table to clear. ..and I started in March ! But overall I have done loads around the house.
This paper mountain is the last very big battle in my home and I will destroy it, bin or file it very soon.

Babieseverywhere Wed 28-May-14 19:39:30

bin bag not binman

Solo Thu 29-May-14 00:19:51

Wow! go girls!!! grin you both sound like you are doing very well!

I am not at the mo, but I will be starting again soon.

Ds tidied his room up last night! shock

Babieseverywhere Thu 29-May-14 20:59:58

Well done to Solo's DS...fancy teaching my brood to tidy on their own ?

I have thrown another bin bag of paperwork. Down to a third of table to deal with...it just takes forever to sort out.

I am hoping to break the back of this paperwork this weekend and then to keep on top of it.

Solo Thu 29-May-14 22:56:27

Babies it was a fluke I'm sure! he is dreadful for dropping rubbish on his floor and it angers me.

I have had two genuine and separate offers today to sort my overgrown garden out for me, but both people I would have to have in my house <cringe emoticon> so I really must get a wriggle on!!!

Babieseverywhere Sat 31-May-14 20:42:39

Why would they have to be in your house, no side access to your garden ? Lucky you to have two offers, I hope you accept them both ?

I am pleased, two more bin bags of paper thrown. Everything to be kept, divided into piles of kids paintings which are now in their memory boxes upstairs and a basket of house hills for me to scan and throw/file..then the table will be clear !

Then I can move onto the next job, photographing and sorting though memory boxes and then they go into the attic !

So still plenty to work on but feel like I have broken the back of it iyswim smile

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Sun 01-Jun-14 12:02:08

Hello everyone,

Sorry I have only just seen this thread and read the OP and so I don't know what has been said over the last 5 pages. Hope I don't seem rude for gatecrashing. I don't have time to read through right now, but I did immediately think of something when I read it the title/OP.

There is a "swap" thread over on the Chat page. I am a bit of a hoarder myself, and I have been able to either swap some of my unwanted stuff for stuff I actually need or want. I have also sent other posters some stuff, without them sending anything in return. I have rather quickly managed to clear a lot of space in my wardrobe and cupboards. My flat looks so much cleaner and less messy and I feel the whole swap thing is extremely therapeutic.

I have also given myself a challenge - I am off to a wedding in June and I plan to only wear stuff I have swapped off MN! So far I have my dress, shoes and earrings sorted!

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I just thought a few of you might find the thread helpful. Maybe you could start clearing things that way - safe in the knowledge that your item will be wanted and treasured by another MNer.

Anyway, got to go, toddler off to bed - and so am I! smile

Solo Sun 01-Jun-14 13:23:03

Babies because they would need to use the toilet at least. One of my friends that offered lives quite a distance away and I would not know how to say she couldn't come in for lunch or toilet use or whatever.
I tend to keep quiet about my 'problem' although I have actually told a couple of people irl this year. I could not show them though. The garden volunteers are not privy to this knowledge though...so, I have much to do before I can organise this.

Charlie thank you. That's a great idea for those wishing to do that. I did give away a massive bundle of childrens clothes on a previous giveaway thread. I now take them to Cash 4 Clothes. Toys go to charity or to the nursery. Childrens books go to friends.
Good for you re the wedding attire!!! smile

Solo Sun 01-Jun-14 13:23:59

Meant to say well done too Babies! you are doing so well!!

Babieseverywhere Thu 05-Jun-14 15:30:59

I WAS doing well but I had to clear the hallway for the new washing machine to fit through, so all that stuff is in the dining room.

The kitchen has a massive pile of clothes to be washed of course with broken washing machine in the middle of the kitchen.

DS stuff is squashed into the girls bedroom and the 'work in progress' memory boxes are in our room piled up. As DS room is to be painted this weekend.

So I feel like every room is a nightmare today, when earlier in the week I was so pleased with the progress, lol.

On the good side DH has finally finished painting our bedroom (started a month a go) So I can put up new curtains, duvets etc and make that room cluttered and pretty smile

LizzieMint Thu 05-Jun-14 19:59:24

Hi everyone, sounds like there's progress being made everywhere. I thought I would pop back and update you. I chatted with my H about it - he acknowledges he has waayy too much stuff but still claims it's because he has no time to sort it out rather than because he's too attached to it! But that doesn't matter, he agrees that at least some of it needs to go. So he's started working through boxes - it's slow progress as he's not home that much and when he is he naturally wants to see the children. What has really helped actually is househunting. We've looked at some lovely houses but none of them have anywhere near the storage space we currently have. He's keen to move and would like the new place to not end up like this one.
I've been chucking out loads of my stuff too - it almost feels like I can breathe again! smile

Solo Thu 05-Jun-14 22:53:18

Babies that's a temporary blip that is necessary in the short term smile

Lizzie that is good news! I hope he gets going on it properly and doesn't do too much of what I do and have to look at everything and read each item too blush

I've not done anything this week yet. I have been planning my new bedroom furniture and measuring up etc, but I know that it's not possible to order it and take delivery until I've done an awful lot of other things first. <sigh>

Babieseverywhere Thu 05-Jun-14 23:05:34

Solo, Enjoy planning your new bedroom. It will be worth the hassle in the end. Thank you for your kind words. I hope to catch up soon.

Lisse, If you can encourage your husband to deal with the clutter in small organised way. Better to clear one drawer properly and completely, than fail to clear a room. Small and often is my cluttering rule

Solo Thu 05-Jun-14 23:34:04

Thank you smile yes! I'm looking forward to having it all done...the trouble is; I've been planning it all for about 4/5 years now blush.

Solo Thu 12-Jun-14 23:01:29

Last night was a huge nightmare! my Ds managed to set the recycling bins on fire outside my porch doors. Right outside my porch doors. Put it out with a fire extinguisher, but it made a massive mess outside and also inside the porch which was stuffed full of bags of clothing ready to go to C4C. I can't help but think of the consequences of us going to bed early, or me popping out for an hour...as it is, my porch doors are damaged and I now have no charged extinguisher and the coats in the porch are covered in white powder.
On a positive note, I got rid of the bags of clothes and shoes and cushions and toys today. That's just one point out of 1000 points that need doing.
On another positive note, Ds owes me!!! grin big time!!! and I'm collecting!!!

How're you all going?

cricketpitch Sun 15-Jun-14 22:25:29

Just checking in. Got a cold. Feel dreadful but did do a pile of paperwork today. Shredding and chucking - good. still so much to do though. Good to hear that people are doing ok though - and I value the support.

Solo Tue 24-Jun-14 02:07:31

Checking in. Not doing much atm as unwell, but the want is with me.

Sillylass79 Tue 24-Jun-14 15:52:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Solo Tue 24-Jun-14 18:31:32

Wow! and welcome Sillylass you sound like you've worked really hard!!
I have OCD tendencies too and find it hard to let things go. I've been struggling my whole life with hoarding, but it has been really bad for about 5 years after suffering huge losses in my life.

Can I ask how you got to go to CBT with this condition? I had counselling for my losses and other things and since then have got rid of a lot, but I do find myself getting other things instead...

Solo Wed 30-Jul-14 01:33:25

Just giving the thread another bunk up!

I've been busy, but not as busy as I should be. Some of gardens cut down. More clothing to C4C and still more to go!! thrown out loads of old cosmetics and smellies today. Very pleased with myself!

cricketpitch Wed 06-Aug-14 23:54:57

Been busy for a bit and ignored my hoarding.

Did some serious clearing of paperwork last week though. Had time and space for once so just did a file at a time. It was slow but steady. This is not the stuff I find difficult though as it is mainly easy to decide whether to chuck out a five year old gas bill.

I have cleared a space in the living room and it is looking better. I have a storage unit full of things I can't bear to part with though.

Solo Thu 07-Aug-14 01:06:08

Hi cricket smile you sound positive though, and don't underestimate how much you have actually done; it's far from easy ~ except the old gas bills! I used to keep two years worth of utility bills, but have started to shred all except the last 12 months worth. I love that you have a space in the living room! hopefully, that space will grow in size smile

I have been trying to sort my bedroom some more, but it's a case of everything on the bed, then sort some stuff, then it's bed time and everything has to go back to where it was, so it feels like I'm getting nowhere with it.

Solo Thu 07-Aug-14 23:46:33

So today...sorted out some more of my bedroom. Currently looking for the cot fittings so I can try to sell on Dd's cot. And her toddler bed. And my maternity clothes. And Dd's good clothing. It seems endless.

I do feel as though something is happening in this room though smile

Anyone else still here?

cricketpitch Fri 08-Aug-14 09:13:39

my last post seems to have disappeared. Maybe I didnt press the right button.

no time to post now. good luck today

LizzieMint Sun 10-Aug-14 21:45:25

Hi everyone. Thought I'd post as at the moment I could cheerfully strangle my H! We have got the house cleared out (hurray!) and on the market - all the stuff is boxed up and in storage. I'd estimate 90-95% of the boxes in storage are H's things.
And he's now swanning about, saying how nice the house is without all the rubbish clutter and how we should have done this years ago.
And then wonders why I'm slightly irritated by that, given that I've felt like i'm suffocating under the weight of all his crap and have been asking him for years to sort it out.
He still thinks I have as much stuff as he does. hmm deluded

cricketpitch Sun 10-Aug-14 22:25:37

LizzieMint - that is a good sign, a really significant achievement for you and for your H. I hope that you find the perfect house - with lots of storage space????

I have just read back through some of the posts - had missed the recycling fire Solo!! That must have been bad - one of those lucky escapes though.

As for the bedroom, I understand exactly the "heaping on the bed and then back onto the floor at bedtime" routine. Frustrating. I have a heap on the floor at the moment. I did manage to chuck out some clothes this week and my DD helped with some of her clothes and a huge pile of books.

The books had been stored in a garage and the mice had got into the boxes. Some of the books had been reduced to shreds!!! A lesson there. If it is not in view, being used and loved, it may well disappear!!

One of the things that is really important is a"future" - generally why it is easier for the young to throw stuff away. I am still struggling with what the future could be - hence hanging on to stuff.

Your new house Lizzie is a wonderful motivator. I need to focus on looking forward and that will certainly help.

Goodnight

LizzieMint Sun 10-Aug-14 22:38:12

It has certainly helped to have a deadline - although I know the battle isn't over as the stuff is still there, just in storage. But he did say he was committed to getting rid of 'some' of it. We do need a house with storage but at the same time, I don't want it to feel like a storage unit? He already has more books and games than he could possibly read or play in his lifetime, I don't get why he buys more.

Were you able to throw things away more easily when you were younger cricketpitch? I have always found throwing things away easy, and I wonder why that is, as my parents both have hoarding tendencies. Or maybe that's why?!

cricketpitch Sun 10-Aug-14 23:11:14

I could throw things away more easily when I was younger - although I have always been a bit of a hoarder. I found that as I got a new job or a new house or a baby I felt I was leaving stuff for something better, going from strength to strength - I don't really feel that now.

My DD sees my hoarding and swears she will never be like this. She is quite ruthless with her stuff - maybe having hoarding parents tends to do that. I do know that she and I have worked well together and she will coax but when I say "no" to throwing something she will put it back in the pile in a matter of fact way without criticism.

She was very good yesterday about talking me into taking clothes to the charity shop - and how it is so much better to do some good with the stuff than let it "rot" in storage.

You sound as if you are working well with your H - understanding him is so important.

Solo Mon 11-Aug-14 02:10:36

Wow wee!! there seems to be some good things going on here! smile
I've done nothing for several days now and I'm faced with going to a friends for a few (3 or 4) days, taking Dd to the cinema x 2, taking my Mum shopping for carpet/laminate/blah blah, making best friends birthday gift OR doing some more stuff here at home. I really want to do stuff here, but I feel like I should do the above...hmmconfused.

I so want to be able to ask people in for coffee or lunch or to stay. I want to find a man. Dd's First Holy Communion is next May and I have to not only have it all de cluttered, but also I have to have all the work done on/in the house too before I find myself a job.

I feel so alone. Ds was 16 yesterday and I rarely see him, but I feel that if we could open our front door to guests, he could bring friends home...but I wish he'd help. Dd hinders more than she helps...

LizzieMint Mon 11-Aug-14 07:14:55

Solo, that's tough to have to do it alone. I'm not a hoarder but I am quite untidy and i deliberately invite people around at times just to force me to tidy up! Could you invite a friend for lunch or a coffee at some future date that isn't so far away as next May and use that deadline as an incentive?
cricketpitch not sure I'm doing so well on the not criticising front blush, I find it so frustrating. I will try harder. H likened it to trying to lose weight, my MIL is dieting at the moment and my FIL is very critical and unsupportive so I try and keep that in mind. It's almost a habit though to try and point it out to him, as I've been trying to get him to tackle it for years, but now he is facing it, I need to change the record!

Solo Mon 11-Aug-14 13:47:55

It is tough yes!! but no, my place is far too awful to make any near plans! but having May as a target is very good as hopefully, all the work will have been done on the house too smile so I will be proud of my home and happy for anyone to drop by!!

The weight loss analogy is a brilliant one!! and I'm doing both!!! grin

ColinFirthsGirth Mon 11-Aug-14 15:41:48

Hi everyone,

May I come and join you? I am a hoarder and really need to declutter. I have made a start and I am pleased with the bits I have done. I feel really overwhelmed by some of it though and find it hard to let go of things sometimes.

cricketpitch Mon 11-Aug-14 16:38:53

Hi ColinFirthsGirth - great name by the way!
This is a wonderful thread - a bit slow as people are doing a bit at a time - but it isn't simply a "must tidy up" type thing. There is an understanding of how hard it is to let go of stuff - for whatever reason and that the task is huge and can be so overwhelming.

My house was almost uninhabitable last year - and resulted in a lot of pain and hurt. This thread has helped me feel that one step at a time can mean progress. (Others do it differently but this is working for me).

I had also felt ashamed and useless but I am feeling a bit better now. I am not alone. Solo is brilliant at motivating and supporting.

I am currently listing a few things on ebay - just a few........ one at a time..... Good luck

Solo Mon 11-Aug-14 19:34:53

Welcome to our thread CFG smile cricket has said it all really smile so that's a good start and welcome.
You don't need to feel alone with this 'problem' as we probably know how you are feeling. Cricket said "My house was almost uninhabitable last year - and resulted in a lot of pain and hurt." and I can relate to that statement. It's very hard to admit to anyone in real life that you have a 'problem' like hoarding. It's not easy to admit it on here either, but admit it you and we have and that is a good start on our way to getting it sorted out.
It is often little steps that are easiest to take.
One at a time.
Set a small goal and aim for it. Don't overwhelm yourself with looking at the massive task ahead ~ it won't help and will probably hinder your progress instead.

Personally, my 'mess' is preventing me from doing far too much and I don't want my children to have to make the excuses that I do blush.

I have changed an appointment to have my meters inspected 3 times now and I'm not sure I'll have the guts to change it again.

I haven't had a man in my life for 6 long years and I'm sure that part of that is because I can't let them in (emotionally as well as physically into my home).

I worry that if I or the children were ill or had an accident at home (very possible!), I couldn't get the help that I would need.

On that note, I am just going to do a little more in my bedroom smile

But before I go; please keep posting and sorting, posting and sorting. Short bursts of a pile/box/drawer/shelf at a time. We will get this done together!

ColinFirthsGirth Wed 13-Aug-14 14:48:50

Thankyou Solo and Cricket,

I also feel ashamed and I hate that my kids can't really invite anyone around and I feel awful if anyone turns up to the house unexpectedly. My Mum just nags and tells me it is just a case of doing it but this doesn't really help me at all. My husband just shouts at me about it - even though he is a dreadful hoarder too! I often feel that I have to build up the motivation to do all of it in one go - which of course is impossible. I find it really hard to break it down.

ColinFirthsGirth Wed 13-Aug-14 14:51:23

I have OCD and have been trying to get assessment for adult ADHD - my area wont pay for me to have an assessment out of area. As this assessment will probably never happen I really need to develop tools and ways of doing things that help me to declutter and to not hoard in the first place.

Solo Wed 13-Aug-14 17:03:54

CFG I feel your pain. I have OCD tendencies too, mostly counting issues, but I've never seen a professional about it, never told anyone particularly irl, though last month, I discovered my Cousin does it too, though she's not a hoarder, but we touched on the subject of OCD. My late Dad and my Brother also had/have this kind of OCD and we all hoard. I think hoarding is classified as an OCD illness isn't it?
I let no one! absolutely no one into my house; not even my Mum sad
You are very courageous in seeking help and I hope you get the help you are asking for smile

I have been better in recent months about not getting more 'stuff'. I used to get a bit from Freecycle, but it's now rare that I make a request. I have bought clothing for myself this summer, but mostly because I did not wish to spend another hot summer in jeans.
I steer away from charity shops, but if I do enter their doors, I'm now quite good at turning around and walking out empty handed, even after looking around. I have got this result on my own, just by telling myself that I don't need anything else. That has taken a lot of willpower, but I think I can do it now without too much trouble or mental conflict.

It's a shame that your Dh is a hoarder too and worse that he doesn't see himself clearly...although, I am good at telling my Mum off! just can't get straight myself blush, so I'm as bad.

I don't know if This or This or even This might be worth a try? I think I will have a go with these too. I'm a big McKenna fan. He's helped me lose weight and I'm continuing to do so with his help.

Keep posting smile

Solo Thu 21-Aug-14 00:45:48

Fed up.
Still going.
Anyone else?

cricketpitch Thu 21-Aug-14 01:16:59

Hi Solo, I am still here. Up late.

Sorry that you are fed up. It is hard going especially when things are tough otherwise. Don't give up - just take a break.

DD is doing her room. She wants to chuck everything out. I sold a large piece of furniture on ebay which was good but the rest of the mess has had to wait. I lost some very precious stuff and it has upset me deeply. Too tired to talk but this mssge popped into my inbox and I wanted to respond.

Step by step. Take a break and get some sleep. (You are not alone - even at 1am!)
GCSE results tomorrow so probably a lot of sleepless DCs and Mums, (including in this house)

Solo Thu 21-Aug-14 11:13:41

Hi cricket thanks for the support.

What has happened to your precious things?

Good for you re ebay sell.

We too are getting GCSE results today. Ds is still in bed! but said he's going in at 12 so I'd better get him up.

Hope 'your' results are good!

cricketpitch Thu 21-Aug-14 23:27:54

Results fine thanks - DD got what she needed, luckily, - hope yours were ok too.

Taking a break from decluttering today but did take a big bag of clothes to the charity shop and some rubbish to the tip. (Stuff we had sorted earlier)

It is a slow process and very hard work although the more you do, the easier it gets.

How are the rest of you getting on? LizzieMint? ColinfirthsGirth? How is it going?

Solo Thu 21-Aug-14 23:55:34

That's good news cricket smile Ds's results not so good. No idea what he'll do now sad

Solo Mon 25-Aug-14 03:16:12

Sold Dd's toddler bed today smile so another thing gone!

cricketpitch Mon 25-Aug-14 08:54:35

That's good. I love it when I sell something as the whole guilt thing about waste is avoided.

We are also selling my DD's child bed - will list on ebay this weekend.

It is the boxes of junk that are the problem - although I am working through them one by one.

I was lurking on the March towards Minimalism thread and there are some good tips there - especially about not bringing stuff IN to the house. I panic about the mess and things not being nice and I can never find anything so often end up buying more. Have just bought a new kettle as my lovely old one stopped working. Forgot that I had a spare one stashed away. Unearthed it last week in a box of kitchen stuff but want to keep it "just in case"..... I know that is stupid. Need to get rid of it.

Should do more today but going out. Family coming from the other side of the country - meeting in a pub for lunch. blush

inadaydream Mon 25-Aug-14 10:22:03

Hi can I join you? I am daydream - I think I may be a hoarder?! I grew up in a household where there was very little cash flow, everything was second hand passed down from relatives, new items were few and far between. I was bullied at school for not having any 'labels' and things like sweets were almost none existent. I have recently realised my upbringing has been the root of a few problems - my weight, I comfort eat, my house, it's overrun with 'stuff', my perfectionism - this to me makes no sense as looking at my house you would never think so - but I strive to do things perfectly when I do them (but have come to the conclusion with 2 young children I don't have time for perfectionism therefore there is no point starting something!).

I lost my Dad 10 years ago and have bouts of grieving still. I also developed PND after the birth of my first - this was when the realisation of 'me' started to creep in as I had some CBT to help me cope.

I gave birth again 12 months ago to my second and am struggling more than ever. I can't stay home - I have to go out most days or I go crazy which results in me spending. I can't just go out for coffee I have to bring the kids or myself a treat back (toys clothes craft items). I often buy things and leave them in the carrier bag and stick them somewhere DH can't find them (I don't know why I do this as he never says anything - I just feel I have to hide things?!).

I panic at the thought of not buying something but then panic when I have bought something as then I need to find a home for it when the house is already bulging!

I feel I am compensating now for feeling deprived as a child and I am terrified of my children feeling the way I did. I am lucky, DH has a good job, I work part time too around the children and we can afford nice things - so why this panic?!

I have made a start this weekend by sorting the eldests wardrobe - all small clothes are bagged up for a friends child who is a year younger. I have loads of wardrobe space to use so am planning the best way to get the most out of this. Today's task is my wardrobe - sort for charity and try and regain some order. My clothes are just rammed in and I can't actually see anything (there is no order and this makes me struggle!!).

Hope you are still with me after the essay - feels nice to have said this out loud as I could never discuss this in RL for fear of being committed xx

cricketpitch Mon 25-Aug-14 11:47:00

Hi daydream. Welcome. no time to post properly as going out but will reply this eve. We understand on here - no judging, just help

inadaydream Mon 25-Aug-14 12:53:44

Thanks for the welcome cricket - felt relieved to get it off my chest! Feeling productive now. Wardrobe sort is complete I have a pile for charity and a pile to eBay (which will also go to charity next weekend if it fails to sell!). Going out now too so will check back later.

Solo Mon 25-Aug-14 15:56:39

Oh cricket! <sigh> I so know that thing about meeting elsewhere instead of at home sad makes you me! want to cry with shame and I completely feel a failure about it.
I put Dd's bed on <whispers> netmums. Sold within a couple of days.

Daydream welcome into the hoarders fold! no judgement here! I think we are all very similar for both similar and different reasons. You will find support here, but you are also very welcome to support in return if you'd like to.
Daydream you actually do sound positive about the sorting of clothing and getting rid of unwanted/unneeded things and that is an excellent start! don't think otherwise smile why don't you find a Cash4Clothes place if your ebay efforts don't reap the rewards? money in your pocketsmile

You know; I completely hear you about the perfectionist side of you. I'm similar in that if I make something (and I love making all kinds of things ~ sewing, knitting etc), it has to be perfect. If I sort out my bookcases, the books have to look perfect all sorted in size order +++. My children are always well turned out too. No one would ever think my house wasn't the same!
I also comfort eat, but I have a thread going which could help you there too if you are interested? I'll link it and you can drop by if you like smile
link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/a2071173-Paul-McKennas-I-Can-Make-You-Thin-Thread-15-The-New-Beginning?msgid=49088469#49088469www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/a2071173-Paul-McKennas-I-Can-Make-You-Thin-Thread-15-The-New-Beginning?msgid=49088469#49088469\ HERE}

Hope you are having a lovely day out. I'm not going out today.

Solo Mon 25-Aug-14 16:25:46
inadaydream Mon 25-Aug-14 21:36:20

Hi solo

Thank you for the warm welcome. I honestly can't believe how light I feel in myself after my first post. It has spurred me on no end today.

Both kids wardrobes done now - no one to pass the youngests stuff onto so it's in a big pile which will now go to the local equivalent of cash for clothes. Thank you for the reminder as I completely forgot they existed despite me using them before. It also means I have somewhere to offload my stuff that isn't worth selling on eBay (cheap clothes to begin with so it's not really worth anything once postage is paid for).

We dropped 3 bags of clothes round to my friend and her little girl had a blast going through it all which made me smile.

We have decluttered the children's cupboard where we store their plates, cups etc and have gone back to basics with that and again have added stuff from there to the charity bag.

I am currently sat in the spare bedroom which is currently a dumping ground sorting through all the crap again that's just dumped in here. I did it once 6 months ago but we have just finished a loft conversion so it's suffered as a result of that. Plan is, once it's clear, is to redecorate and move DS in as it's a bigger room then I get to turn his room into my office for my paperwork (I am self employed and work from home - another reason to get this cracked as clients do come to the house regularly eeek). The office also has enough room in to put some toy storage in so the kids bedrooms aren't too cluttered (I struggle with the thought of them over stimulated whilst trying to sleep - a habit I addressed during the CBT I had for the PND and it has really stuck with me). I am also mentally planning a large toy cull sometime soon as I have noticed the kids repeatedly play with the same things over and over and we have a few large toy boxes full that never even get opened anymore (I call them the toy graveyard - they go in there never to be seen again grin).

Thank you so much for giving me a warm welcome. Not been on MN much as a poster (just a lurker) so it's a relief that you don't find me bonkers!! And it's so nice to have an outlet.

Hoping I can offer advice soon once I have processed emotionally the big can of worms I have opened with myself in my realisation recently xx

inadaydream Mon 25-Aug-14 21:38:37

Oops and I will visit and read through the thread you kindly linked me to, I have most of the Paul McKenna's I can help you ...... as these were recommended to me by my therapist. I never managed to get thin, or be happy but he sure did help me sleep grin xx

cricketpitch Mon 25-Aug-14 22:41:29

Good to hear that you have made some significant progress Daydream. It makes such a difference. It sounds as if you have done really well - and you have plans which always helps.

I also had CBT and one of the key points was to do little things and achieve them. It seems from what I have read here that it can help with hoarding, (but it is a very complex issue).

I let the CBT go a bit and have lost the notes, (buried somewhere), but will go back to it as it helped me and I think it can help a bit more.

I had a lovely lunch - and it was good to see family but would have liked to have had them here. How many more years do I make excuses?

My DD has helped hugely - mainly because she hates the house like this, really hates it. She has cleared her room this week and painted it.
(I am currently incapacitated with an injury, (will recover but it has been weeks and will be another two at least), so that has really impacted on what I can do.

Have sold another piece of furniture on ebay - it has been in the garage for ten years!! I still believe that I could have painted it and that "in a bigger/my next house" it would be perfect. Always waiting for the perfect world! I find letting things go so very, very hard but I have to.

So far, so good. This thread does help.

Keep it up smile

inadaydream Mon 25-Aug-14 23:13:17

Hi cricket

Glad you had a lovely lunch!

CBT was amazing for me though very brief! Only had about 6 sessions as they were free - NHS waiting list for any type of treatment was incredibly long but had a friend of a friend offer me some free sessions when they heard about my PND.

I too struggle to let materialistic things go - too much loss in my life to blame for that I guess.

Looking back living at home with my Mum - she had (and still has) hoarding tendencies. I know what's triggered mine but have no idea what triggered hers!

Today has been amazing! Hubby has asked me to stop now as he needs to go to bed as he is at work tomorrow but I now have three bags filled for cash for clothes and a bag of bric a brac for charity and the bin is now almost full.

Feel like I have achieved tons today and I can actually see what I am looking for in the wardrobes now smile

Will check in again tomorrow evening as we are out for the day tomorrow.

Isabeller Mon 25-Aug-14 23:17:03

I am a hoarder.

I must get rid of stuff.

I must get rid of stuff already sorted into bags for getting rid of.

aaaaaagh. How can I let go? confused

Solo Tue 26-Aug-14 00:36:40

Sounds like a happy thread at the moment smile

Daydream you are on fire! I really hope that you have started on the road to success!

Hello Isabeller welcome to our thread!
A small tip that my friend in rl said to me a while back as I always used to say "I must sort out my house and life" and "I must lose weight..." she said to me, stop saying I have to or I must, start saying I want to, and it is so true smile Wanting to do it is so much better than having to do it don't you agree? it makes it sound like it's your idea instead of someone elses (whomever that might be!).
Also, if you already have bags ready to go...take them out of the house and into the car and finish the job. I know it's not easy ~ I've had a few bags like this myself over the last year, but it's really quite a nice feeling when they've gone and the space they were taking up indoors is now a clear space...it's like a breathing space. Give it a go smile and keep on posting!!

Solo Tue 26-Aug-14 00:40:37

I meant to mention...a few years ago, I had 7 bags of baby clothes ready for the local Cash4Clothes and so I loaded them into the car and went to the place I was told C4C was. Only they weren't there! I knew that I could not take these clothes back into the house because I'd end up keeping them there for goodness knows how much longer, soooo, I took them all to the charity shop. Gone!

fuzzpig Tue 26-Aug-14 01:20:05

Hi everyone! I've been trying to declutter for a while now. I've managed to change my mindset to not keep acquiring so much stuff (well, mostly) but it's taking so long to get rid of stuff (I can't do much due to health) it feels like it's getting worse. Well, it is really. DH has suggested getting a skip but the thought of just throwing everything out - even though it's a little tempting because of gaining all that space - sets my heart racing.

I've seen this thread on active before but thought no, I don't need to read that one as it's not quite as bad as it could be... but I've accepted I was wrong. So here I am, sheepishly popping my head round the door and wondering if there's room for one more? smile

Solo Tue 26-Aug-14 02:06:14

Hello fuzzpig nice to see you! come in, there's loads of room smile

There are lots of tips and support on here.
I totally hear you from the health point of view too.

A lot of us seem to find it easiest to start with the clothing. Sort out and ebay, charity shop, freecycle or cash4clothes.
Give yourself a talking to about what you want to gain from sorting it out; where do you see yourself when it's done.

I try very hard not to add to the collection of stuff and I'm far better than I was.

I couldn't get a skip for the same reasons as you say by the way.

Keep posting!!

fuzzpig Tue 26-Aug-14 08:07:49

blush I only just registered that it's you, solo! <waves> grin I've not been on spoons threads for ages, I just try to ignore the fact I'm still ill find it too difficult.

It was actually getting the CFS/ME that forced me to (mentally, not so much physically yet) confront the clutter as it was making my life more difficult and making me more ill.

It's embarrassing how bad it is - some nights I can't sleep for coughing, I think it's the dust in our room as when I go downstairs it stops sad

Only 9 days until the DCs are back at school. I'm hoping I will be able to attack it properly then but it'll take a while to get back into the swing of things. I've not had a full on relapse but have been struggling this summer. And as you know it's all to easy to overdo things and suffer for it! I work basically alternate days so have to be careful.

Not entirely sure where to start TBH. Clothes I actually managed a little while ago (I agree, it's a relatively easy place to start) so only have stuff I wear smile but could do with going through the DCs once more as they've grown AGAIN! hmm grin

DH has loads of time owing as he's been working 6 day weeks angry and lots of annual leave left, so if he ever gets a chance to take it then we will use it to really attack the clutter. My dad also said he will come up for a day at some point to do plenty of tip/charity shop runs in the car bless him.

Right sorry enough of the waffle I'm off to actually read the thread!

fuzzpig Tue 26-Aug-14 09:47:38

OK I've read about half the thread so far and it's really inspiring. Also found myself nodding fervently to various revelations. It's a horrible issue to have to deal with sad

Need to charge my iPod before I read the rest, so while that's plugged in I'm going to gather up some more paperwork. Most of it is stuff I need DH's input on so I'll put it in a bag for life - there's some in there already from the beginning of summer.

My biggest practical problem with tackling it all is that I'm very 'all or nothing'. I put huge pressure on myself to get everything done and feel terrible when I inevitably don't mange it!

But more often this tendency means I never get anything done at all. I always think "oh I'll start when the DCs are back at school" or whatever, and therefore don't do even a little bit before that - even though tiny things would still be progress. It is like saying I'll start a diet on January 1st and eating really badly until then rather than making even one healthy choice.

So with that in mind I am going to keep reminding myself that even though I will have more time in 9 days when DCs return to school, I WILL get some little bits done before then!

Solo Tue 26-Aug-14 13:52:14

No, I stopped going on there too. I felt like someone (mentioning no names and I don't think it was you) took my comment the wrong way and although I think I explained myself and apologized, I never felt welcome there again. It was about the postcard that I and others were sent which was lovely but I almost didn't pay for the postage (no stamp) as I didn't know who it was from and wasn't expecting anything. Was glad to have collected it, but...! and it was taken as a slur on the sender sad

As far as decluttering is concerned, do a bit at a time. At least you have help from a willing Dh and Dad...this is my hardest part. I have no help.

fuzzpig Tue 26-Aug-14 14:29:49

Oh dear, I didn't know that had happened on the thread solo sad

fuzzpig Tue 26-Aug-14 15:50:24

And it no doubt sounds really patronising, it's not meant to, but I really admire the fact you are facing all this on your own. Is DS helping with any of the lifting and stuff? (It's something I struggle with anyway, a lot of the pain I get is in my arms)

Not done much today but now I've sorted out a childcare nightmare I have the headspace to do... I don't know, SOMETHING at least. Supposedly.

Solo Wed 27-Aug-14 03:31:25

No not patronising smile and no, Ds won't help me at all. He's a lazy good for nothing 16 year old who is all take take take. I'm hoping he'll grow out of that and start respecting me, but only time will tell.

I have little strength in my arms either; they ache sooo quickly when I try to do anything.

Today (late start again), I sorted through a huge bag of Dd's clothing ready to sell. I also sorted out my Chinese laundry dining room a bit, but have a lot more to do in there.
Tomorrow (today!) I have to take Ds out to buy him a suit for 6th form <sigh>. I much prefer uniform! I hope to God he sorts his head out for the next 2 years because if he can do that then hopefully he'll get his head around university!

I have got so much to do here at home.

Solo Fri 29-Aug-14 02:17:06

Somebody has stolen my hall...because it is clear!!! unfortunately, my kitchen, dining room and sitting room are full to bursting even more cluttered sad got the meter inspection tomorrow <sigh>

However! I have a load of stuff for charity. A load of stuff for C4C. A load of dressing up stuff and mega blocks for the nursery on Tuesday. There were quite a few pairs of old and worn out shoes binned. And quite a lot of dust in the bin it was minging <takes a bow>

Unbelievable amount to get done still though.

Solo Fri 29-Aug-14 13:53:51

And...I happened to be in the bathroom when the meter reader came! remade the appointment for Weds.

inadaydream Fri 29-Aug-14 17:38:38

Oh dear solo - still at least it's a job done and you feel you have achieved something.

I haven't managed much since my mad session the other day as I have been enjoying the last week with dd at home before she goes back to school next week.

Did sort through a bag of stuff I kept from my Dad though it's been hidden in SILs loft for years but we took some stuff out a few weeks ago and thought I had better face it! Out of the 10 items of clothing I kept 8 have gone in C4C bag as I realised I actually felt nothing for them. I have just kept a tie and a funny padded jacket with 8 million pockets (he used it for fishing) - I bought it for him the Christmas before he died and can't bare to let that one go. It's bulky so have vac packed it.

We are constantly in discussion here at the moment about changing some of our storage so I am sat here planning with a notebook and pen (another of my hoarding favourites notebooks and pens!!).

Went to visit a friend at her new house yesterday - it's immaculate and so beautiful. Has inspired me to get house proud again. And I return back to work from (extended) maternity leave properly next week and will have an income of my own again - am seriously thinking of hiring a cleaner (once I get to a stage where I feel I can let people in again!!).

How is everyone else getting on?

fuzzpig Wed 03-Sep-14 09:33:26

DCs back at school tomorrow! I am mostly very pleased about this grin

I'm also very proud I have managed to do a few little bits of decluttering in the last week rather than leaving it all til term starts. Given my "all or nothing" issue this is a triumph for my mental health as well as for the house smile

I came up against a few tricky items like clothes that could eventually be mended and chunky puzzles with missing pieces that could be around but I'm pleased to say I let go.

Solo that's a lot you've achieved with all the stuff going out of the house. And you're letting the meter reader in, that's great (I would really struggle with that - thankfully on these cheap crappy new builds all the meters are outside!

Hopefully your DS will soon outgrow the selfish teenager phase. Has he got a PT job yet? That may help especially if you charge some housekeeping grin also I know a lot of teens have got their wake up call when they start sixth form. It's so different from school as you need a lot more self motivation. So fingers crossed smile

Got to venture into town for the last couple of bits later (and a milkshake as I promised myself the DCs!) and my other aims are:

- one more load of washing
- get DCs to put their clean clothes away (been piling up on the stairs again)
- sort through giant sports direct bag full of random crap
- fill at least one bag of rubbish
- fill at least one bag of recycling

That's not including the getting ready for school stuff - packing bags and sewing name tags, argh!

fuzzpig Wed 03-Sep-14 09:36:29

Inadaydream I love notebooks too! grin DD seems to as well - it's a fine line between encouraging lots of writing, and encouraging stationery obsession wink

Well done for sorting out your dad's things smile

fuzzpig Wed 03-Sep-14 13:02:04

Achieved a reasonable amount so far! Emptied out the big bag and got rid of a bag each of recycling and rubbish. Then I was on a roll so I emptied the drawer that's been bugging me. Unfortunately a lot of it I couldn't decide on - mostly more old sheet music (individual songs from the war era mostly - some is really rare) which needs to be put with the rest. I can't decide what to do with it. Anyway I've moved that into the sports direct bag - not ideal I know blush but I've cleaned out the drawer (had to scrub it... Euuuwww) and filled it with what I'd planned to - gift wrap, cards, tape, envelopes etc that all had no home before. It's all very naice now grin

And now I need to resist temptation to carry on as I don't want to ruin myself for all the stuff I have to do later.

Solo Thu 04-Sep-14 00:54:37

Hey! well done ladies! grin we are on a roll here aren't we?!

Today, I let the meter man in sorted out the stairs as there was all kinds of stuff on them. There is still a lot of stuff on them actually, but it is sorted now, not so much thrown on there. I have to replace my stair carpet as it was is cream which looked gorgeous when new 7 years ago (already!!), but now it looks disgusting blush. I suppose I ought to just try to clean it first, but it's horrid!!

I have several toys in the boot of the car ready to go to the charity shop. Today I gave away the of Mega Blocks and dressing up stuff. This has made a bit of space! grin.
I have some more of Dd's clothes to go too.

Go us! keep going ladies...more from me tomorrow. thanks

fuzzpig Thu 04-Sep-14 07:52:33

Well done solo!

I was really not happy yesterday when after doing all that work DD came home from a neighbour's with a bag of toys and clothes. She'd helped her tidy her room apparently. Most of the stuff was too small/tatty/broken so it's being snaffled into the bin anyway.

Had a HUGE wake up call last night. Being so disorganised I hadn't sewn on the name labels, but that was ok because I'd seen the huge pack of labels among the random crap on the TV unit.

Except of course, they weren't there! So we had a frantic hour long session of searching the living room, digging around in every crevice. Had all but given up and then went up to our bedroom where I found them within 2 minutes in a random box. FFS. This is so typical of us.

On the plus side we did get rid of more than a bin bag's worth of rubbish but the living room is back to being a tip!

Solo Sat 06-Sep-14 19:40:01

Well done you too! fuzzpig aren't we good?!

Forget about the trials and tribulations of the labels...keep going! keep going!! smile

Solo Sat 06-Sep-14 19:46:13

Oh yes! I sold a pack of foam floor puzzle thingies yesterday asking £2.50 for them; they had never been out of the pack (Dd's father gave them to her). Anyway, I was going past where the lady lives so I dropped them in (no detour required) and the lovely lady insisted I took £5 for them! smile I was very happy! smile

fuzzpig Sat 06-Sep-14 22:44:40

Aww that's lovely solo grin

So I'm hoping to really get back on it from Monday. Pissed off though as I can feel a cold coming (and colds are never just colds with illnesses like CFS/ME, are they). Sometimes I look around and remember my house (dust etc) is making me more ill sad and it is effecting the DCs too. Had to put DD on time out yesterday, virtually never happens but as she sat on the bottom step surrounded by random crap I just felt awful. It's so chaotic. What the hell am I doing to my children sad

On a lighter note (!) I realised I hoard library books! grin Because I work there I see endless appealing titles (and get no fines, request fees, hire charges etc) and just like the usual type of hoarding of buying/not throwing stuff away, each one represents something, a dream, doesn't it? Like "one day I'll learn crochet" etc. Even though most don't even get used.

But this month I've <gasp> bought some books I need to read for a particular training thing at the end of this month, though, and I decided this is the perfect opportunity to completely clear our library tickets no matter what. Started at 75 items, now at 47! (Can't do them all at once as no car.) Progress!

But OH GOD it's so hard. Each item I return unread/unwatched is like admitting defeat, admitting that I'm not such a great parent because I haven't read or done this activity with DCs, that I'm not so smart because I haven't learnt what was in the book etc. Even though I logically know I can re-order and borrow them any time when I'm really ready. It still feels like failure.

And even today I saw a few books I'd love to read with the DCs and a CD I wanted to join the waiting list for. But I resisted and I'm really proud! It was so hard to leave them on the returns trolley! It actually physically hurt - WTF?! Anyway, I WILL accomplish this, and after my training course I will be very careful what I borrow and when.

It's anxiety related to loss I think. The feeling of panic at the thought of not having something I need (sorry I know this is stating the blooming obvious on a hoarder support thread, bear with me as I have a much needed epiphany). I'm similar with food. If I fancy something, however brief that craving may be, I feel panicky if I leave it on the shelf in the store. So on cravingy days when I fancy five different things, well... it's not hard to see why I'm so big sad I have no problem telling DCs "maybe another time, we've already had suchandsuch" when they ask for something that's not so healthy, but for me? It's so hard. I have only just started being able to manage it, and that's only when shopping online. I can just order one of the five things I really want and remind myself that I can always get something else next time, it won't have disappeared (but oh god what if it has...) - on the now rare occasion I'm shopping in store, any resolve goes totally out the window.

Right I really need to try and sleep now, sorry for the waffle - but it's been very helpful for me to write this down in a safe supportive place thanks

Solo Sun 07-Sep-14 13:29:07

You are doing great fuzz smile be proud of yourself ~ it is allowed!!

I can totally see what you are saying, but don't worry about stating the obvious; I think that writing it down, reading it, SHARING it can help not only yourself, but others too.

I know what you mean too re the illness thing and a cold isn't 'just' a cold with our particular illness is it. I have found that over the last 2+ years, I've suffered less colds since I <takes a deep breath> cut an onion in half and put it on my bedside. I got an email explaining how years ago a community was wiped out except for a farming family and when asked why/how, they explained the onion thing. I've done it ever since and have been so lucky. Try it! it's pennies, you only need one or two onions a weeks and I buy the cheapest ones anyway. grin

fuzzpig Mon 08-Sep-14 00:01:11

Thank you smile

As for the onion, wow, that's intriguing! grin Is it something to do with absorbing airborne germs? I'll have to give it a google when I'm not supposed to be sleeping. Unfortunately I have no surfaces in the bedroom on which to put a cut onion currently, it would disappear under piles of stuff and my room would smell like mouldy onion forever more I fear blush - the crap pile on my side of the bed is higher than the mattress!

Oh boy do I need to do something though. Had to come downstairs again due to coughing. I'm not supposed to sleep downstairs, I prefer my bed. When I clear the room I'll be sure to increase onion purchase - heck I'll give anything a go if it might keep me well!

The problem of course is that cleaning in itself can make me unwell when there's so much dust (and potentially mould too, although it's not a huge issue, by luck more than judgement) that will be disturbed by moving stuff around! Maybe I should get one of those DIY/doctor type masks?!

So my parents are apparently coming up on Sunday, I'm going to try and fit in a tip run if Dad agrees smile

I've been pondering the whole getting rid of dreams thing. I've felt too unwell to physically declutter today (and can't do much with toys when DCs are around) but I've labelled - in my head I mean - a few craft sets to chuck as they've sat started but unfinished and forgotten since the Xmas hols. Some were bought by me, others were gifts. They aren't interested in them. It's OK. They aren't representative of failure!

I must remember this when choosing gifts too - they aren't craft kit fans really. Much more into the big box of 'raw' craft supplies, and Hama beads with basic boards.

I'll see if mum would mind letting us do the Shrinkles in her oven (ours isn't working) next time we visit as they are all coloured in and they'd like having them blu-tacked up in their room, otherwise I'll ditch those too - that's more of a wrench as I loved them as a child.

fuzzpig Tue 09-Sep-14 13:57:54

How's it going this week? I managed to fill a bin bag yesterday and another today smile

fuzzpig Tue 09-Sep-14 14:34:44

Oh and I'm down to 23 library items. Which means I've returned over 50 in the last few weeks! shock

Solo Wed 10-Sep-14 01:08:37

Have been busy all day long. Been sorting my bedroom out (partially!). Have chucked out loads of samples of all kinds of cosmetics/cleansers/shampoos. Lots had simply disappeared with age!

I got rid of a carrier bag of bits to the charity shop; gave a couple of pieces of uniform away...
Am going through loads more tomorrow.

Well done on the library things and the bin bag fuzz ; it's happening!

fuzzpig Wed 10-Sep-14 07:23:03

Great stuff!grin

I don't think I'll manage anything today. Straight to work after school run, and knocked sideways by pain as it is (for some reason the last six months or so has seen my CFS/ME symptoms increase tenfold when I'm on my period, and that's on top of the actual period pain confused) so feeling rather sorry for myself TBH!

Hope your day is successful and lots of things leave the house! Yes, it really is happening isn't it grin

Solo Sun 14-Sep-14 13:49:46

I have had a few days of being busy in my bedroom. It's usually a case of covering my bed in everything in order to get to the wardrobes! then going through the clothing to get rid/hang up/put in drawers etc. I'm getting there. The wardrobes have more space in them to put away some of the clothing in the Chinese laundry dining room.

Tomorrow or sometime this week, Dd won't know what's hit her when it comes to her toys. She has been told/warned etc, but doesn't listen, so....!!!

How is everyone else doing?

fuzzpig Sun 14-Sep-14 21:05:33

Not so great right now! Fighting a relapse, still feeling it's imminent. I hurt and am exhausted with my mental health in tatters too sad

Dad did a tip run for us though which was great. Doesn't feel like progress really as most of the stuff was already in the outdoor cupboard waiting to go.

Not sure what I'll do tomorrow. I've got until 1ish (must get to post office before work - writing it here to remind myself!) so could achieve something, but now I've done some of the obvious stuff I'm back to not knowing where to start IYSWIM?

GimmeMySquash Sun 14-Sep-14 21:09:04

Solo Mon 15-Sep-14 00:29:26

Fuzz at least the outside cupboard is now empty and ready for the next lot of things smile

Tomorrow I think I'm out, so won't really get anything done.

Gimme hello smile are you place marking?

fuzzpig Mon 15-Sep-14 07:34:35

On threads I'm on it said "multimedia message" under gimme's name but I can't see anything! This new mobile layout is still confusing me blush

Well, managing to declutter a few bits of packaging as DD needs junk modelling stuff.

Fair point about the cupboard - can't wait to fill it with more junk!

I'm so tired today. I hope I can do a little bit although have to be careful how much I push myself before work.

SaucyJack Mon 15-Sep-14 12:41:41

Hi- found this via a thread on Chat. Hope you don't mind if I join?

I am part emotional hoarder, part mentally ill and part just bone-idle lazy.

Made a start today tho. Just cleared a kitchen cupboard of old Chinese plastic boxes and gadgets we don't have the work-top space to use. Now have somewhere to put the plates (once they're clean) and the cereal boxes that are cluttering the work surface away.

Hope you're all having productive days.

Solo Mon 15-Sep-14 23:54:31

hmm that's odd fuzz. I'm on the laptop, so can only see her user name. You sound like you are doing ok smile keep it up lovely!

SaucyJack welcome!! you have got off the a great start already! smile keep it up and keep on posting; it helps us all to keep motivated and will help you too.

I have done a bit more today. Put some more clothing away (from dining room into...(wait for it!)...the wardrobes and chest of drawers!! got rid of more paperwork, shredded some. It all still looks a mess, but I actually feel as though I've done something grin.
Threw away Dd's knackered trainers today which came home from school when they broke up for the holidays. I was going to throw them then, but Dd threw a paddy, so I didn't. It's bad when the Dc's are doing the same things as me. sad
I've been giving away stuff too. Two more toy items gone today grin and I'm chuffed with myself. I'm just looking around my bedroom and there's less stuff just laying around in it!! woo hoo!!
More to do tomorrow morning.

fuzzpig Tue 16-Sep-14 08:02:15

Welcome saucy jack! smile

Achieved bugger all yesterday, well unless you count surviving work!

Solo Fri 19-Sep-14 00:23:58

Busy again today. Running out of room now for clothing. Am being good with regards getting rid of stuff. I can visibly see (does that make proper sense?) more space in my bedroom now!

Screaming match with Ds tonight sad He just won't help me at all...even taking his own washing down to the wash bins. He chucks them on the floor of his bedroom and they stay there until I collect them up and wash them or very occasionally, he actually does do as I ask and bring them down.
He eats his meals in his bedroom, which I can't really object to right now as there is no room for any one of us to sit down properly. Can't wait to get the table back into use!
I feel like the unpaid skivvy in my house. I also feel like just not bothering. At all.

Will do more tomorrow.

Anyone else?

fuzzpig Fri 19-Sep-14 07:39:12

Argh sorry you're having so much trouble with DS. It must be tempting not to bother washing his stuff at all, maybe he will learn if he has to stay in dirty clothes? Alternatively would simply putting one of the washing baskets in his room help? Not ideal but might work?

I have done nothing this week, just exhausted, sad and in huge amounts of pain. The house is even worse, again sad

Solo Sat 20-Sep-14 01:54:37

Hi fuzzpig smile thank you thanks

Today (yesterday now), I finished putting all the airing cupboard straight. It now has space bags with mine and Dd's bedding in individual bags, plus other stuff that is not needed right now. Neat piles of clean towels. A neat pile of a change of bedding for Ds and for me and two neat piles of face cloths.
That seemed to take all day, but in reality, it means that there is less in the dining room which is a good thing!
I also took down and washed my net curtains (bedroom and lounge; all front of house). Have blacked out/whited out my lounge window so that I can get on with that room too without worrying about getting the clean nets dusty.

Still loads to do.

cricketpitch Sat 20-Sep-14 18:41:12

Had a couple of bad setbacks over the summer. Not ready to start again yet but haven't disappeared.

Solo Sun 21-Sep-14 01:20:42

Nice to see you cricket smile keep posting regardless.

Solo Thu 25-Sep-14 23:05:50

I have just picked up a load of boxes from a Freecycler. Just have to fill them now! and find somewhere to store them.

fuzzpig Fri 26-Sep-14 06:39:02

Hello cricket smile we will still be here when you're ready even if it's quiet grin hope you are ok.

What are the boxes for solo? Is it to put piles of stuff in to sort out?

I have done nothing. A few weeks ago my ME symptoms increased a lot, I struggled on at work (stupid in hindsight) but finally went off sick on Monday. Not sure whether to force myself back today or not. I'm managing the school run but that's about it.

Trying to declutter in my head - I do that sometimes, coming up with some stuff I can chuck as soon as I'm feeling up to it.

Panicking because we are visiting a new park with DD's friends on Saturday (assuming I'm able to - thankfully it'll just involve sitting on a bench so hoping I can go for some fresh air) and I'm terrified they'll need to pop in to use the loo or something when they pick up/drop off, and I'm not well enough to tackle the mess at all.

AAAARGH

Solo Fri 26-Sep-14 13:04:52

The boxes are for packing stuff into, but hopefully after I've sorted or it'll just be stuff that'll take up room in boxes that I need to get rid of. Does that make any sense at all? hmm. In short, I intend to sort out, throw out, pack and seal the boxes.

I have those panics too. Invent a plumbing problem. I often think about scenarios too...but I do have a plumbing problem! grin. Or your Dp is in the bath...

I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Solo Sun 28-Sep-14 02:16:03

I have spent most of the day boxing up Dd's toys and also putting more (recently laundered) clothing away. I'm going to have to go through Dd's clothing again I think as I can hardly close the drawers. It would be Ok if she had a wardrobe right now, but that won't happen until the room is divided into two bedrooms.

I appear to be getting somewhere, though the destination is a long way off me thinks!

Won't be able to do any on Sunday or Monday, but will be back onto it on Tuesday! I'm feeling rather pleased with myself smile

ChippingInLatteLover Sun 28-Sep-14 02:22:43

Hi Solo, I didn't realise you were still posting on this thread! I'll be back in the morning for a good catch up! smile

Solo Sun 28-Sep-14 02:56:55

Oh yes! we certainly are! grin

fuzzpig Sun 28-Sep-14 07:39:05

Well done solo and hello to chipping smile

I didn't have any awkward situations with the friends, we just got straight in/out of the car grin it was a nice time and I feel a bit better for fresh air and stretching my achy muscles.

Very busy and tiring day on Monday so will probably spend the rest of the week paying for it - but hopefully I can do a little bit. I really don't want October to get underway with me still not making progress! Frankly at the moment it's been a huge achievement to keep vaguely up with laundry and cooking dinner!

The other day I did give DCs a huge bag and got them to shove all their toys from their floor in it. The bag is still there blush but I'm sure if I gave them a suitably large vessel they could do the rest!

fuzzpig Tue 30-Sep-14 07:08:03

AAAARGH! Am ill again. Up all night wheezing. This is not going to be a decluttery week sad

On the plus side though, I took back 21 library books yesterday! grin From now on I'm only borrowing something when I'm ready to use it!

Solo Wed 01-Oct-14 01:22:03

sad fuzz
Well done on the books front! that has to have left a space/hole!

Today I have sorted through some more of the clothing and paired up some of the many odd socks! I also put some castors onto a small shelf unit that I didn't know what I was going to do with; it's going to house my pans and sit in the under stairs cupboard in my kitchen. because it's now on wheels, I can move it out when I need to! Chuffed to bits on that!

Loads more to do tomorrow.

GarlicSeptimus Wed 01-Oct-14 01:43:10

<timid wave> I'm not in the same situation as most here, but near as makes no difference. I'm between homes at the moment - all my filthy clutter was slung into plastic bags, then randomly distributed around other people's back gardens while I waited for a HA place. I've been awarded one! Hurrah! But it's a tiny, tiny flat. I have to methodically go through a very-cluttered-house-worth's of stuff, decide what to keep, clean it and pack it in an organised manner, then get rid of the rest. I am paralysed by fear of doing this.

I'm not actually that attached to 'stuff'. I completely empathise with what you said about your books, fuzz, but cured myself of the emotional attachment a while back. Things have gone hideously downhill since becoming poor - there's a fear that I can't replace what goes. I also have ME/CFS and depression, which I manage quite badly (I only get 2 useful hours in a 'good' day) so am also daunted by the thought of approaching my bags of grubby belongings in tiny little bits each day. There, I've caused a slump just by writing about it ... blush

This is SUCH a lovely, supportive and sensible thread, I want to be on it!

GarlicSeptimus Wed 01-Oct-14 01:45:33

I meant to say congrats on the pan shelves, Solo! I think you deserve extra special flowers for actually putting the castors on, instead of leaving the castors on top of the shelves for attachment at 'some time' wink

fuzzpig Wed 01-Oct-14 07:22:01

Welcome Garlic! smile So that's at least three of us here with ME shock I have depression as well, it's more anxiety lately though and of course the clutter is both a defence mechanism and cause of the anxiety <facepalm>

Fab idea for those shelves Solo! Wheeling them out will be so much easier.

Solo Wed 01-Oct-14 13:35:56

Welcome Garlic! Yes, fuzz and I both have ME/CFS and it's no fun and very hard to live with and what fuzzpig said is true.

Anyway, you do have a task ahead of you, but it can and will be done! one step at a time. It will be hard, but it can be done.
Are you able to get a gardens worth at a time into your new place and aim for as many minutes as you can during each day to go through it? you may have to push yourself a little further than is comfortable without having a relapse which is what I'm doing these days...it's hard <sigh> Where abouts(ish) are you?

I've just ordered a new bed for me! so I have to get sorted and cleared in order for the rewiring to be done and flooring to be laid and then furniture to be delivered!! I'm considering freecycling my current bed and just having my mattress until things are done just to get rid of another big 'thing' hmm. Any idea's? Ds has just got a mattress right now (actually, it's been a very long time blush), so it's got to happen soon anyway for me and Dd. Got to get riiiiiiid!!!!!! <arghhhhhh!>

Got to go! got things to do.

Solo Fri 03-Oct-14 00:27:45

Still going here! a difference in places can be seen, but still much to do!!

Anyone else?

Big fat nothing here hmm But I'm very impressed by you! thanks for the lovely welcome.

fuzzpig Fri 03-Oct-14 04:02:02

I managed a little yesterday - some puzzles, activity books and underwear/socks gone.

Nowhere the stage of it making a difference to how the house looks though! Tis a mere droplet in the ocean! Trying not to get disheartened.

We've agreed to ditch an item of furniture (a chest of drawers where one of the drawers no longer fits) so doing some moving around of stuff but decluttering at the same time. Hoping to do more during the day (am awake at an odd time due to coughing, grrr) while DCs are at school.

fuzzpig Fri 03-Oct-14 04:07:03

Garlic, one thing I've found helpful as an ME sufferer is decluttering in my head.

When I am too unwell to physically go round collecting stuff to chuck, I sit in a room and look around it for stuff I can get rid of next time I'm well enough. Sometimes I even write it down. Then when I get a burst of energy (well, a burst of not-falling-over-from-exhaustion grin) I can make a beeline for those items. For example the puzzles and activity books had already been earmarked for chucking for a couple of weeks. It feels really productive and the anxiety is taken out of the equation because I've already 'let go' IYSWIM smile

That's a good idea, fuzz, thanks! I tend to sit & look at it, then go ARGH and log on to Mumsnet ignore it.

My sleeping's hopelessly disorganised, along with everything else. It always happens when I'm anxious (being homeless tends to increase the anxiety!) and then I take weeks to get any 'spoons' back. Hmm. I shall hold the thought that it'll be easier to do if I've already done it in my head ...