where is the slattern thread?(103 Posts)
calling any fellow slatterns, please point me in the direction of your thread! i am looking for the company of those who really struggle with procrastination, and a blindness towards mess and junk.... please help me open my eyes!!!
Sounds like we may have similar interests!
Hello! Slattern here! I see mess and junk... it doesn't know its messy.... Lol my house is a tip, but here I sit on mumsnet during nap time rather than cleaning - pffft its wrong for the house to be spotless much better for the immune system that way!!
I am a big believer in 'clean dirt' and 'family germs don't count'. I choose to ignore the large quantity of research that says otherwise .
Hi slattern and niggle
Aha, here you are! Right starting from a very low starting point, can we congratulate one another for getting anything at all done today other than crucial mumsnet research, of course?
The kids are coming home today after a few days at their nana's, and I had promised myself to get loads done, and have done the most important thing on the list, which was to relax with mojitos, but sweet f.a. Else.
See you later!
I need a good kick up the arse thread!
My todo list is about as long as my arm and we are potentially moving country in a couple of months so I have to get on with it so that I'm not doing a major de-junking in a week at 8 months pregnant.
So I'm in
Does it count that I decluttered my sky+ by sitting on my backside watching tv?
comrade you bring back memories of my last house move, after which I said never again and I wasn't even pregnant. De junking is definitely the stumbling block. Have you got a target quantity of stuff you can take? The logistics of Moving country with family sounds like major challenge.Although I guess you actually can't take your shite with you....unlike if you are moving 2 streets. . When every single item is a choice.....
slattern ha ha ha ! I am inspired to go and declutter the biscuit tin now!
My DP is at work today. It is soooooo much easier to tidy without him around....have a stupid idea that when we have time off together we should be doing something together, and tidying up is not a team activity for us. . . .
I have just taken every piece of stuff from downstairs that is supposed to be upstairs and put it in a pile in the hall. 70% dd, 25% ds and 5% of it mine. Feel the need to declutter the tea caddy before tackling putting the stuff away.
Twonker it's not actually too bad as the move is with DHs company so they pay for total relocation including full packing and unpacking. I just refuse, to yet again, for a third move, to take boxes of shit. Like clothes I haven't worn in 6 years. Or suits that SH bought 10 years ago and now don't fit and are poor quality. Or paperwork we don't need. Or cables for gadgets that we no longer own.
We have a huge house here. We won't in Sydney and I will go mad trying to de clutter there with a toddler, a baby AND no space.
Today I sorted the under stairs storage. Yay me.
Good for you Comrade. I have now vacuumed the lounge, done the dishes and put all the clean clothes away. Tackling the dining room next, it is a disaster area of children's colouring stuff.
The only way is up, right? Sounds like we are all doing brilliantly.
I have cleared and cleaned the sitting room window sill! Hurray!
Do you get sucked into the detailed cleaning, and lose sight of the general once over?
Must leave the room for a few minutes and come back in to see what minimum needs shifted in order to actually Hoover.......
I keep getting sidetracked, therefore have done lots of little jobs but no one thing finished. The kitchen is still a tip (but the microwave plate is clean), as is the bedroom (but my make up brushes have been put away), as is the bathroom (but the towels have been changed). I'm rubbish at sticking to one thing and finishing it.
slattern I totally get you. I always get too much stuff out, so I get a box to sort, tip it out, sort half of it out, need to move on and end up shoving the lot somewhere.
I am pretty sick of sorting stuff out today, now, but I've got my kids back from my mums, so we can tidy their bedroom together tomorrow.
I have ticked a few things off the list, and got out of a trip to the shops for bread by finding some frozen bagels in the freezer! Hurray!
comrade hope you had a good day. Did you manage to do enough sorting in the morning to feel virtuous and enjoy yourself in the afternoon?
Hope niggle had a good day too.
Any slatterns about or is Sunday just a step too far when cleaning?
Step too far for me! Had brilliant dim sum lunch with DD and three other friends and toddlers/babies. Lovely. Just had roast pork for dinner and it was lovely.
Going to have to go tackle the kitchen however as we have a horrid ant problem in there and NOTHING gets rid of the mutant fuckers. So, sadly, have to approach clean in there.
How about you?
I had someone over to my house for the first time today, so had to do a quick tidy up and pretend that it always is like this - purely superficial - story of my cleaning life. Like the sound of roast pork dinner (but without the ants!).
Hi slatterns. Decided to model doing the work first and having the fun later with kids. So after brunch we tipped all their boxes out in their bedroom, and found homes for things. Trouble is, when I gave them a pile of dolly clothes for the dolly clothes basket, they put it in the dolly Moses basket. Gave up pretty quick as the promised fun was the swimming pool, which shuts at 4. Their bedroom is still a complete tip. I have prepared the veg and marinaded the meat for tonight's stir fry and am too knamckered to do owt else.
Hmm ants are hard to argue with really. A lot of sweeping the floor. Gets tedious.
Cripes slattern, you managed to do a quick tidy up, and it actually looked like something you might want to pretend It was like all the time?. That's impressive! I just have to face it out every time.
Can I join the club please? I am a slattern.
Hi Colin. Nice to meet you. I am trying to improve the state of my house, but it is from a very low starting point, and hampered by slovenly ways. How about you?
Twonker - let me stress that I kept my new visitor to one room and fortunately she didn't feel the need to go to the bathroom or any other room in the house. Phew - dodged a (judgemental) bullet!
Your dolly tidying sounds like my attempt at 'sorting' - start, somehow manage to create more mess, never finish.
Can I come and join in? I am starting from extremely low down, I have been struggling with depression on and off for the best part of the last 2 years, the last 6 months have been rough enough that getting up has been hard going, never mind housework (I manage to go to work but little else).
Tomorrow, I have my housing support worker coming around for her first visit, together with my housing manager. The house is horrendous. I am slowly working my way around the downstairs, the upstairs will have to wait (They know I am struggling, hence me getting a support worker).
I have recently been told a nice little rhyme, which is really helping me, and I hope it will help some others as well.
"Inch by inch is a bit of a cinch.
Yard by yard its a little bit hard.
Mile by mile, what a major trial."
At the moment, each room is at least a mile. I am focussing on inch by inch tasks. Either literally working my way around an inch at a time, or just focusing on one small task at a time (putting the dirty cutlery and crockery into the kitchen, putting stuff to keep in the keep box, putting dirty laundry in the dirty laundry box).
Hello to Colin and AGlass.
AGlass my mum was in a similar position a few years ago and I'm really glad you have a support worker. She found it very helpful just to plan on doing one thing each day (get dressed or walk dog or have a shower or make a proper breakfast or put a load of washing on or whatever) and it made her feel like she had actually accomplished something even when everything felt too much.
Right now I'm sitting on the sofa having a chocolate bar and a glass of milk and MNing. DD is having a nap. Today my todo list is the paper work int he study.
Hello, fellow Slatterns. My DH came home last night after being away for a week and all my
not very hard work has gone to pot. Sitting watching the Olympic closing ceremony for 3 hours did not help either!
AGlass, good luck with your meeting today. I hope you get the support you need.
Comrade, good luck with the paper work, let us know how you get on - any motivational tips appreciated.
I blame MN for my slatterness I used to clean and now I waste hours.
I do write out a to do list everyday with jobs to do to keep me focused.
I managed to slog through yesterday, and now have a hallway A hallway that needs a hoover admittedly, but I have a hallway. I now have less than 4 hours, and a living room and kitchen to remedy (not tidy, they wont be brilliant, but they need to be better than they are). I reckon, for me, I managed a mile yesterday but the downstairs is another 4 miles But I'm focussing on inches, and ignoring the miles. The more inches I do, the closer to the miles I will be
I have, the last few days, managed to be more focussed. Still struggling with getting up, but not been getting up and spending all my time on the computer just to stop me going back to bed.
I did nothing in the end. DHs flight was cancelled so we just hung out with DD.
Me too I'm afraid and what's worse I don't care. We have dust balls.
glass sounds like you have done absolutely loads today. Well done,and I hope the visit goes well for you. Sometimes a bit of pressure gives me motivation to get quite a long way. It's maintaining it that I struggle with. As soon as the pressure is gone, I back slide terribly.
comrade I think hanging out together is so important, and especially when you get an unexpected moment together.
slattern motivational tips. . . . Dunno. 15mins? Our kids will NOT have this difficulty, so I need to show them how to be better?
Argh. Not feeling very focused today. My agency pissed me off by giving my best job, which I have carefully cultivated over the last 4 months to someone else,mbecause in the crucial hour when they needed confirmation my battery was dead. Soooooo pissed off. Which means I now can't be bothered with. aNYTHING because even when you do try really hard to get something right, some minor human error always creeps in to fuck it up. So what's the point?
Hi edmund do you always not care, or is it just now? How about anyone else in your house? Do they care? Nice to meet you.
in need of brandy hello, yes I think we all struggle with the computer...... Must get off it myself!
It's a definite trend. My DH is here too, he'd probably prefer it slightly better but isn't too bad about it. Good to meet you too
edmund i can see the motivation might be quite hard to find.... i'm keen to improve things so that my kids think tidy is normal and will get used to tidying up after themselves. also my dp is unhappy living in a s**thole. that should be enough motivation. ok, i am going to get off my arse and tick something off the list NOW!!
hurray, i threw a completed list in the bin!!!!!!
1st time ever. think thats why i hate lists. they hang around forever.
Twonker I'm sorry - I think I misinterpreted your thread as embracing slatterniness. I'm happy to be one but I can see why you might not want to.
Hello! Please can I join? I've lost my coffee table and have no idea what colour my carpets are...
Do I belong here?
Total slattern with some aspirations to sort things out eg sell 8 bags of kids clothes and loads of baby equipment on ebay, but some things I just don't care about eg if my bed sheets get changed 4 times a year it's a miracle.
Twonker - congratulations on your first completed list !!
Trazzle - I sympathise about the coffee table, I think I own a dining room table but not really sure.
Stangirl - I too have allusions of grandeur that one day I will not be as useless at all things housekeeping as I currently am. I like AGlass's thought process - small steps. To me ebaying is just too big a mountain to climb, but good luck!
Well done twonker I must admit my list can always go in the bin, cos I only ever have one or two items on them, any more is too much. I add a new item when I cross the old one off.
Trazzle I know I own several tables... I'm not quite sure of their size, height or colour though.
Stangirl I want to declutter and do a major carboot (um, do they allow you to take a van, am sure I could fill one....) but changing bedsheets, doing the dishes, the hoovering etc, they are all inches I struggle with.
The appointment today wasnt brilliant, but equally could have been worse, which is something I suppose. I managed to find some of my livingroom floor, the part which we are supposed to be able to walk on, rather then the bits round the edges which consist of boxes of stuff to go upstairs and be sorted out. Small steps, inches at a time. The hallway is still sorted, so I havent slid back by achieving a new target but slipping back with the previous one. I'm out all tomorrow, then back at work Wednesday, but will continue on Wed evening - I have family down from Wed who are going to give me a hand, so hopefully come the end of the weekend, several miles will have been covered. but even if it is only inches, anything is better than nothing
Oops, nowt done today except prep for tomorrow nights dinner. Not a good cleaning/sorting day, however I did some exercise so feeling okay about the day in all. Hope all of you got something done today.
Hi everyone. A day for treading water. The kitchen is no dirtier, the living room is only slightly dirtier, and the toilet and bathroom are slightly cleaner. Plus I had the washing maching fixed yesterday so am several loads further on.
a glass it sounds like you are moving forward. I find it hard to get a plan together: look at A, describe B and then lost the steps and help needed to get from A to B. i hope you enjoyed your day out today, and that your family give you the support you need. I like your list tip. It's true it was a very short list I completed yesterday, but it felt good!
stan girl welcome! Targets are good, right? I have to do a lot of targets at work, and I get a bit jaded with them. . I think I need to set some for myself, they will have to be SMART!
edmund I think a thread embracing slatternly ways would be great! I wish I could, but living in a small house, it is not working for us, so I am afraid I need to change my ways.
trazzle hi and welcome! I'm sure we will be locating many things on this journey, coffee tables included! I would like to find my front door eventually. It has a little porch which is used as a coat cupboard--dumping ground--It is very embarrassing when I let visitors in through the back door, and they try to get out through the front door
slattern hope you had a good day today.
Hi everyone. I, again, did bugger all yesterday. Felt very down as our move to Sydney has been shelved again so motivation went down to zero. Of course, today we've been told that as far as the global CEO is concerned we're still going. This bloody roller coaster is killing me so I'd like to just know one way or another.
Out to lunch and dinner today with friends. Can't wait. Hope you all get through your todos!
Twonker my study is like your front porch! The door is kept firmly closed.
Hello, can I join?
Our kitchen is cluttered which is my main bug bear and the master bedroom. The rest of the house doesn't take too long really to get presentable.
Am fed up of it now though. My problem is half motivation and half a kamikaze toddler who can't be left for a minute!
Hi Bea, I've heard that the easiest way to deal with a cluttered kitchen is to pack all of your utensils in one box and all of your kitchen appliances in a second box. Every time you use something from either of the boxes you clean it and then put it back in it's rightful place in the kitchen. After a month you throw or charity shop or ebay everything that is left in the boxes and therefor you haven't used.
Obviously season things like christmas cake decorations don't count but the same theory applies - if you don't use it EVERY Christmas/season then you throw it out.
No idea if this all works of course as my kitchen is a cluttered mess too!
Just been confirmed that DH has the posting to Sydney. He leaves next month. So I need to massively ramp up my uncluttering efforts!
Woo hoo Comrade, congratulations! Now you finally can start planning. Considering I am so absolutely useless at all things cleaning and organising I love the 'theory' and planning of them, therefor if I was you my mind would buzzing right now!
I'm off work today so hopefully will get something done, not sure what.
I dont think you can get boxes big enough!
We just have so much stuff, we dont use it now but Im sure we'll use it one day . (eg: Marguerita glasses)
The thing is we actually have quite a lot of really nice stuff but you cant see it amongst the clutter!
Ds is at school and dd is playing so I should be decluttering now but Im not, Im on here, just walked dog and in 10 minutes I need to get dd to have a sleep.
Hello slatterns! I have got a few days of work, and With the kids off school, we have lost all semblance of any routine, so I might get the bathroom tidied, but then I forget to give them lunch until 5pm .
So I'm going to have an early night tonight and aim at getting up at a reasonable time, and have meals at sensible times as my main aim tomorrow.
Comrade.... I've a journalist friend Whois reposted occasionally, and the whole year leading up to the reshuffle is so stressful for her and her family. I bet it's been hard to keep focussed with that sort of uncertainty. I'm glad you've got the definite answer now though.
So, location of coffee table, dining table, porch, kitchen and study needed!
In the meantime, I'm going for location of shoes and lunch!
Hello all slatterns. I have visitors tonight so have unearthed my dining table however have put all the stuff that was on it in a pile upstairs . As usual didn't bother sorting it. I'm now at the stuffing stuff in random cupboards stage of proceedings.
Having a cleaning day today because I've been feeding my neighbours' cat while they were on holiday, only to realise on the day they got back (luckily!) that I'd lost their key so really have to do a big tidy up to find it.
Does anyone else find they feel sluggish on days they've set out to tackle something? It just seems like such a huge, never ending job. Perhaps I should break it into smaller tasks before attempting it or something.
We have far too much stuff. I have had a new brainwave that I'm going to shove all of the "stuff" into my bedroom because it's massive and I don't need the space. It seems a shame but perhaps it's a good first step to get it out of the living space, then I can either get it sorted, or get it gone completely.
I think smaller tasks is definitely the way to go. But sometimes its just where to start. Our worst room has two big armchairs piled high with clothes (and other junk) - probably half of them dont even fit post baby if I could reach them to try them on, boxes all over the floor and the bits that dont have boxes have cat litter (unsoiled I will add! Its where we keep the clean bag) all over them ouch ouch ouch every time I walk on it but the room is so crowded the hoover doesnt really fit in it - every time I walk into the room to do... just something... it overwhelms me and I have to go away quite quickly!!!
How's everyone going? I think there is something to be said about just shoving everything you don't have a place for into one room and then dealing with that room. That's usually how I deal with it anyway!
Off to the UK for two weeks tomorrow so no slatterning for me until I'm back
Hi jing, have a great trip.
Hello everyone else. I am afraid I have been feeling rather overwhelmed by the scale of the problem over the past couple of days. However, I have got on cheerily with the essential meal production related jobs and had a certain amount of fun with my family. Tomorrow is another day. [grimace] hope you have all been feeling good about achievements big and small.
Twonker, sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed, as said above I think it's best to look at the mass of work to do as one step at a time. If I think about everything that I have to do I get so despondent I head for the kettle and another cup of tea, which achieves nothing.
Today I walked into DD's room, looked around at what to do and ended up walking out of the room without doing anything! I went out for a few hours came back and felt more motivated. Two hours of ironing done .
slattern thank you. you are so right. Journey of 1000 miles and whatnot. I have been feeling a bit down the last few days, and now I have cheered up a bit it has made me thankful that I am not constantly struggling with depression, as it must be so hard to maintain motivation to keep plodding on if you are really depressed.
So big hugs to everyone struggling for what ever reason with chipping away at the rock face!
I have been quiet for a few days, I know, but it has been an extremely productive quiet . Well done everyone for whatever they have done, big or small this past week.
twonker at my worst my lists have been similar to:
Sort dirty washing into piles
Sort dirty washing into piles
Put load of washing on
Sort dirty washing into piles Put load of washing on
Put washing into dryer
Stack dirty dishes neatly, scrap food into bin
Sort dirty washing into piles Put load of washing on
Put washing into dryer
Stack dirty dishes neatly, scrap food into bin
Do one load of washing up
And so on. By the end of the day, or however long I work at it for, I get a fair amount done. And on my very worst days, it has even included getting showered, doing my teeth, eating a meal. Because they are all accomplishments.
Another tactic I have used, when a room is really getting too much for me, is to put a timer on for 10 or 15 minutes, and I go into the room and work until the timer goes off. Then I go for a cuppa, or 10 minutes (timed) on the computer, or whatever. And repeat it several times over. When you get to the end of your first 15 minutes, you notice what you have done and realise it isnt as bad as you thought.
Or if watching the tv, when the ads come on, see what you can do before the ads finish. You only have a couple of minutes, but it can be surprising what you can do in those minutes.
If sorting a room out, dont just move everything into another room - it really doesnt solve the problem, cos then you just end up not coping with that room at all, keep shoving stuff in it to be sorted, and it becomes a black hole that is constantly nagging at you, and really does drive your mental state down, cos it is there and needs sorting, but you cant face sorting it. I suggest going round with a number of boxes or bags. One for stuff to be binned. One for stuff to be sold/given to charity shop/whatever (too good to bin, but not keeping) - make sure this gets disposed of ASAP, or if keeping to do a carboot, have an area you can stack the boxes when they are full. Also have a box per bedroom, and one for other rooms. Start in one corner, set a timer, and work solidly putting items in the relevant box. When the timer is up, go and put the stuff in all but the bin and to go boxes away. Have a break. Then go back to it (or repeat the next day, whatever works). It breaks it into managable chunks, and you are actually dealing with the mess/clutter, not shifting it from one space to another.
Nigglenaggle Why not take one box into another room and just sort that one box? A box a day, or 10 minutes sorting out clothes on an armchair, will work through it quicker than you may think
Jing Congrats on the move . Enjoy your two weeks over here, hope the weather is reasonable.
Slattern, Bea, and everyone else I think I've kinda given my take on everything mentioned above, but didnt want to miss you out
Yes, everything I have said is from long experience and much learning about what works, FOR ME! They may not help, but I hope they do
Just remember, do jobs an inch at a time, cos an inch is achievable, a mile is impossible.
Ooh! I like the timer idea actually! Especially with a reward at the end of the timing.....
The reward is essential. Things are so much easier if you get a reward
Hello all fellow slatterns, or as I like to think of us - those that are domestically challenged/ easily distracted/ have better things to do than clean . Sounds like progress is being made all round.
I had a rubbish day at work today and there was not a hope of me getting anything done this evening. I was therefor very pleased to arrive home and dh had cleaned all the floors. No sorting or organising done but at least the day was not a total write off.
One step at a time!
Yes! I want rewards. I need to think of rewards that are not food related though.... I think it is a great idea to time the reward too. and also to recognise that some days are high motivation and others are low motivation, and have a different scale of list for each day.
Hoovered yesterday, cut lawn today, going to tackle my bugbear paperwork tomorrow as its back to work on. Thurs. I have enjoyed pottering about with the kids, going to the swimming pool, popping to the local shops together.
I feel like we have spent some good time together and I have really enjoyed being with them. When it's school and work, there so much "get up kids, brush your teeth kids, right I'm doing your hair now come on let's go we're going to be late for school. Come on kids lets get home now right I've got to make you tea now right it's bedtime now go and get your jarmies on" grrrr.
Hope you are all enjoying the summer holidays too.
Can I just say, Comrade I feel your pain. We too may be changing countries and swapping a huge house for a more sensible size. I'm tempted to just chuck everything. We don't have a company behind us so after shipping our belongings here OH then managed to fill another 20 foot container <bangs forehead on table repeatedly>, we've given away clothes, furniture and white goods, would it be so wrong of me to have a bonfire...
slattern I hope work was better today, and that you are feeling good about what you have managed to do today.
Adorabell welcome! Sounds like you have a massive declutter ing project to do. I have spend a long time dreaming of a bigger house. . Perhaps I should be content with the house we have!
The last day of my holiday today back to work tomorrow. Not a very motivated day today, but managed to cook something nice, do lots of laundry and dig a bit of the garden.
a glass, trazzle, stan, comrade, bea, Bertie, niggle,
Hope all of you are managing to figure out what needs to be done today, and do it! If so,a is deserved.
in progress here! But unfortunately not much else..... <whistles>
Hello fellow slatterns.
Twonker - hope first day back at work wasn't too bad. A friend said to me, 'the first day is just about getting through', advice I have taken to heart ever since.
I did the grocery shop today but not much else. Will have to hit the ironing mountain tonight and try to make it just a hill. The only good thing is I get to watch tv whilst doing it. I wonder what reward I can think of........
Thanks for your post, I think it's a great philosophy for every day!
My boss threw a few hurdles at me and I didn't rant at him like usual, but told him where I'd like them to be placed, and believe it or not, he got off his arse and moved them!
Came home to a lovely dinner and happy family, so all things considered a good day.
Must tackle to paperwork tomorrow. . . Reward? Going to have to be some fairly serious cake....black forest gateau?
Looks like some good days have been had Rewards for ironing, hmm, not sure - my iron only sees the light of day when it is seriously needed
My reward at the moment is more housework, oddly enough. When my auntie came down last weekend, she helped me move around the bedrooms, meaning all the furniture is in the right place, but everything else is in boxes. She also helped me get on top of the downstairs. So my task is to keep on top of, and finish, the downstairs. My reward is to unpack and sort out my bedroom.
Non food rewards though - a chapter of your favourite book, an episode of your favourite program, a game on the computer, a snuggle with your partner/child, a long hot soak in the bath, a chat on the phone with a friend. Am sure there are others, these are just off the top of my head. (mind you, food rewards are good as well )
Twonker - how did the paperwork sorting go?
AGlass - can I borrow your aunt? She sounds ace!
Yesterday didn't get any housework done but on a bit of a roll today. I'm determined to have a day off tomorrow, so willing to pay price today.
Good luck to all fellow slatterns out there. Just enjoy thinking about the reward. In my case tonight.
Hmm had a sudden burst of energy this morning while DC had his nap. May have been counter productive though as am knacked now!
A glass- supportive and understanding family and friends can be so helpful. Last year, I mentioned to a new friend that I was doing the kids bedroom, and she volunteered to help me with the floor. This meant that a had to get all the furniture out of the room and be ready to start the floor by the time she was due to come round. It would have been so easy to put it off and put it off if I hadn't had that deadline. I am so grateful to her.
Internal deadlines are hopeless for me though.
I have posted off one form, need to do another one and re-enrol the dc at their music school, so slow progress on the paperwork.
I like the reward ideas so far, and I think niggle and slattern will be enjoying well deserved ones today!
Right I'm going to juggle some boxes now!
I did a fair bit of tidying on Saturday and could actually notice the difference for the first time in a long time. It was quite motivating.
Spent Sunday morning ironing but did have a good afternoon with the dcs and enjoyed a nice in the evening.
Have been out of the house all day today so hopefully haven't made too much mess. Back to work tomorrow, that is when things usually go to pot.
With the help of Grandma taking DC for a while the chairs are moved and a box is gone through. The room still looks pretty scary so have to ignore it again for a while, but bet when we next tackle it we can get it pretty spanking clean (by our standards that is which are pretty darn low!)
Hello everyone. As I suspected, 2 days at work and the place looks tatty. Im off for a few days now so hopefully will get a handle on it. The ironic thing is that I have offered to help my friend do a big clear out, something I can't do or myself.
Tonight the sky plus is getting a clear out as I am shattered. all round.
Sorry been quiet a few days, just been procrastinating in quiet way!
Slattern: are you now back to work? How is it going? The week is so full. . . Where do we find time to sort out all the stuff that has to happen each day, as well as the random stuff that plops onto the doormat on an annoyingly regular basis!
The dc are already struggling with punctuality at school. . . I think I need to see if ther is a punctuality support thread going anywheres!
Bertie boots I hope you found the key! I feel your
Niggle naggle, my friend calls her spare room the room of horror I think the only thing to do is to clear a parking space in another room, and get the boxes/ bags out one at a time, and deal with them in a place where you have space to do so.
A glass hope your major strides forward are holding up
I actually decided to do some DIY at the bank holiday.... Which is unfinished... And I still have box juggling and paperwork to do as a priority. Job for weekend: prioritise!
Hope everyone else has found the back to school thing ok
Hi Twonker - lovely to hear from you.
I had been back to work but took a few days off to get kids settled into school, which went really well. I used some of the time to do some serious tidying - a visitor even noticed the other day that things were a bit different.
I am determined to turn over a new leaf before Christmas, and all it brings with it, descends on us.
A small thing I heard somewhere - make a bed and the whole bedroom looks instantly tidier. It works. A vacuum helps too! (is this the time to confess that I only learned how to use the vacuum cleaner last month despite the fact I've had my own house for 15 years?)
Hi slattern... Sounds like good time planning really is crucial. It is great to recognise when it's more important to take time off, and that's something you learn from experience. Last year I used all my holiday on half terms, Easter and Xmas, and had none during the summer holidays. It was a real mistake: such a missed opportunity to have fun With the kids while they are deschooled!
This year I didn't have any holiday between new year and end of July, and again that was a mistake: I was soooo exhausted and stressed.
I am looking for a way to keep my motivation up, and to keep me focussed on my priorities.
I do hope you find the path to Xmas clear and satisfying!
Best wishes to everyone else too
P.s., it's great when a stranger notices a difference, isn't it! Fire up your motivation no end
hehe well funny you should mention that, when visitors arrive we normally go with the 'sorry we didnt get time to clean' route.... even if both of us have been slogging our guts out for four hours.... its just better that way!
Nigglenaggle - I used that excuse so many times it wore thin .
Twonker - something that motivates me - when I visit other people's houses and they are immaculate. I have been known to ask in an incredulous voice "is it always like this?". The last time I asked my friend laughed and said "of course it is" in a tone that made me believe her! Sigh, one day..........
Hmmmm. Most of my friends are as scruffy as me. Seeking validation? I'll make more of an effort to have social contact with smarter people....
Hope you have all had a productive week, and are looking forward to a weekend of relaxation because all your main tasks are done........
How is everyone going? Our packers are coming in ONE WEEK
I've had the removal companies come through the house which was good because they've told me what we can't take to Aus (fake DVDs , any meds including OTC, any alcohol, food) and given
the ayi me extra, unplanned jobs like all shoes have to be clean and mud free.
So today I've GOT to get through the two storage rooms downstairs. All of it came from Beijing 6 months ago and hasn't been touched since. I know that LOTS of it will go into an immediate "bin" pile.
Comrade - your life sounds so much more exotic when you can mention Beijing and Aus in the same post! Hope the sorting is going well, just think of the new start you can have in year new place.
Twonker - I can honestly say that out of my social group I am undoubtedly the messiest. This is a reputation that I am now fed up of having. I have a long way to go!
Traditionally I have always been too tired to get any housework done on a work night, which is in one of the reasons everything builds up, so my new resolution is to do something/anything every night (bar Friday and Saturday obviously ).
Comrade: good luck with getting ready. I hope it will be exciting for you to have a new start.
Slattern: I need a strong motivation to make a change. It sounds like you are quite focussed on your Xmas aim, and have got some positive influences around you.
I am thinking about getting the organised mom workbook to help me focus on stuff like bills and budgets as well as sorting the house and clearing the attic.
Anyone else tried any organising apps or tools?
I do get fly lady emails which have helped a bit, but there are a number of the habits which I have barriers to!
Hope everyone else is doing well......
Hi Twonker and Slattern.
Twonker, I've used home routines for iphone. It's very good but I'm a visual person in that I need to see a reminder in front of me so I usually forgot to check it.
Slattern I'm also the messiest out of my friends and have the most crap. I do think it's easier to be neat with less things but it just shows me how much rubbish I have that I don't need!
Things aren't going so well here although I have done a lot of last minute shopping Today I need to finish the spare bedroom which means going through Dh's suits and binning the old ones and then moving things into their right place. Not too much really but lots of running up and down stairs!
This may be my spiritual home (on Mumsnet). Please may I stay?
My homes have always been messy, sometimes beyond messy into dreadful. When I lived on my own I was happy to have 'stepping stones' of clear space in the bedroom to get to the bed.
When I met DH I spent a 7 hour day sorting out my house and he still thought 'OMG look at all this mess'. Bless him though, as he built me a ton of shelves for my huge book/video collection and we started our life-long love of finding older furniture in need of love; I was a bit short on storage space. Of course all I did was get more stuff and more.
I had to do something when I had my DDs (22mnths and 3.5 years now) or we'd have had no room to fit them in to the house. I have been dipping in and out of 'Flylady'(google it if you like) for about 3 years. It seems a fairly good system for housework/decluttering but I just can't do the whole thing but I've adapted her ideas to make it work for me. If you sign up to the website you'll get almost spammed by emails, but every few days I delete all of them.
The main things that work for me are:
1) Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and only do that time. 'You can do anything for 15 minutes' is one of her things - It gets me up and started.
2) When I need to tidy the house for guests do 10 mins per room and move onto the next. Rather than slog at one room and get it OK and then go into another room to have start again, you tidy the whole house in layers. If you run out of time at least all of the spaces are improved. So kitchen 10 mins, living room 10 mins, dining room 10 mins, kitchen 10 mins, bathroom 10 mins, sit down with tea 10 mins. The last bit is the most important one. Repeat for as many hours as you have.
At least I can see my floors now, well except for the main bedroom.
Elfy cat, you are most welcome!
I think I am going to go for the timer business. They are selling cute tomato shaped timers in Aldi, and I think I could do with a nice friendly one.
I have got lots of reminders on my phone, comrade, but I ignore them horribly. Is that what home routines is like?. . They always go off when I'm busy, and then I forget about them. I ignore my phone at the best of times anyway!
Are you currently in china, comrade? If so I am not surprised you are stocking up on lovely things before you go. I love going to our local Chinese supermarket and getting whacky ingredients and beautiful teapots etc. I really lament the passing of Neal street east, the east Asian superstore that used to be in covent garden, and was full of gorgeous things.
Who thinks their main problem with messiness is time management? And who votes for motivation?
Hi Twonker, Comrade and Elfycat.
I am fed up putting stuff in my phone because I never look at it apart from sending random texts.
I am hesitant to say what works for me as I only started using it at the end of July. It's too early to say if the habit is set, but here goes......
I read a variety of different tips/hints/plans/organising type stuff on internet. I wrote down in a book the bits that I liked the sound of. From that I created 2 lists - 1. a month list and 2. a week list. My principle is having a list of jobs to do in a particular week (or month) but it doesn't matter when in the week (or month) I do it. I found that both DH and I reacted against daily lists as we didn't get the thing done and felt like a failure on the first day. This other way I can say to DH 'would you vacuum the inside of the sofa, I don't care when you do it, but could you do it sometime in the next 7 days (or month)'. DH doesn't take to lists well but finds this approach less annoying. As long as the job gets done sometime during the week (or month) I don't really care which day it is.
This approach also allows you to have days off. Last week I was off work and had the weekly list pretty much done by Thursday so I had a much freer weekend.
I use the monthly list for bigger jobs that need done less often. My house splits in to 12 areas so I nominated each area to be deep cleaned in a certain month, therefore (in theory) each area will be deep cleaned once a year. (in August it was the dining room and I still don't have it all finished ). In September it is the conservatory.
Twonker makes an interesting point - what causes the slatternly tendancies -bad time management or lack of motivation??? I think I am a combination of both (but trying to reform)!
The tomato timer is a bitter disappointment. It dings in a very insignificant way 3 minutes before it gets to zero and stops ticking.
I definitely think I need to have some master lists, I am just downloading an organized mom app, so I will see what it has got. I quite fancy having nice laminated ones that I tick off with a dry wipe pen and reuse! Daft really, thinking a laminated list will be any better than the back of the envelope list!
I met a friend for coffee the other day, thinking she might be able to give me some pointers on organising my house. She is always really well dressed and comes across well organized. Anyway, we discussed our kids for a bit, and then I told her how much trouble I was having organising myself and the house, and she said "me too! " you won't believe the state of my house! I was so surprised! She needs help just as much as I do, it turns out. Hey ho.
Slattern, I also think it is a combination of the 2, I wonder if anyone else can think of a 3rd deficiency to add to the list? Or is it just those 2 main issues?
Absolutely motivation/laziness for me. I just cba though I really, really like having a nice and clean house.
Weirdly though, we had two weeks in a caravan this summer and I kept it mostly spotless - apart from the floor which was always covered in sand. Dishes were always washed, surfaces were clean and tidy, things were put away. No idea what the difference was - smaller space meaning I couldn't feel overwhelmed?
Had a hugely teary, upset and wobbly day yesterday. SO much to do before Monday.
Lots of progress today
Box room one is SORTED. I'm going to see if I can get box room 2 done before bed.
Then tomorrow all I'll have to do is the
pit of doom study and segregate the stuff that is going to Sydney/our shed in Western Aus. Then over the weekend I'll just need to pack my baggage and I'll be FINISHED! YAY!!
Woo hoo comrade! Good going. Could you pass a little bit of your motivation this way please?
This morning I have tidied the family room and it looks pretty good but the rest of the house is its usual style. I'm picking the kids up soon so not much else will get done in respect of the cleaning. (however much more will be done in relation to sweet eating, colouring, fighting with sibling, moaning about dinner etc).
Help needed to motivate.
It was mid July that I finally decided to change my ways and I really did try from mid July to mid August. Things started to go down hill at end of August and now half way through September I feel like I am back to square one.
This weekend was awful, the house was a tip. I had convinced myself that if I put routines in place that it would get gradually easier, but it hasn't.
I read on here somewhere that it takes a month for a habit to become a habit but clearly not enough to break my habits of the last 20 years.
Does anyone have any 'reformed slattern' stories to give me hope?
Oh Slattern sorry to hear that.
I don't have any tips I'm afraid but I think that it's performing a new habit every day for 21 days that makes the habit stick over anything else.
What about a daily diary that you write before bed and check again in the morning? No more than 6 tasks to tick off. Maybe 3 daily tasks (washing up done, load of washing in, clean surfaces in the kitchen) and 1 uncluttering task (do the draw in the bedside table) and 1 task that revolves each day of the week (Monday ironing, Tuesday clean kitchen, etc).
God I've no idea. Sorry. I'm going to be running my own home for the first time EVER in one week. No ayi, no cleaner, no driver, no ironing lady... I'm not quite sure how I'll manage.
Everything isn't perfect or finished here. I still have to write the insurance list, divide what goes to Sydney and what goes to WA, write some emails, finish packing our luggage and finish sorting paperwork in the study. The packers come in 12 hours. <jibbers>
And yep... I'm mucking about on MN instead of doing.
Thanks Comrade. My mini moan is nothing compared to what you are currently undergoing. Stacks of luck for the big move.
Hi slattern and comrade.
Slattern, I really sympathise. I have been trying to get my act together for about 5 years, and I am still not a reformed slattern. My inability to organise causes a lot of tensions between me and my partner too. Also we live in a really small house so there isn't space for a room of horror.
The best time tidy-house wise in my life was when we lived abroad temporarily in an even smaller flat, but with hardly any stuff. I was on maternity leave at the time, and so was not working, was not involved in any save our school campaigns or volunteering. I was not doing any part time courses, and did not have any demands from extended family.
It was get up, have breakfast, go shopping, play in the park, go home, make a big lunch, go back to the park, play all afternoon, eat leftovers, and clean the flat once the kids were in bed. Sooooooo simple.
I think it is so hard to establish a routine when you are already juggling so many different timetables and unexpected demands. And keeping on top of things does require a routine as well as the individual habits.
Comrade, wow, your lifestyle is going to change a lot!
How old are your kids? Will you need to find new schools for them yet or are they still wee?
I really hope the next few days go well for you, and that you find your new, smaller house with less stuff, easier to manage. A new start can be really helpful,in setting up routines etc.
By the way. Do either of you wear a watch? I am comsidering waering one, as i think that it might help me with time management. I have a few clocks in the house, but they are all slightly different, and I recently looked at the computer screen to check the time when I started to do my dd's hair, and saw it was 5pm, great I've loads of time. Once I was nearly done (she has a zillion plaits ATM) I popped upstairs and saw it was 6.50! omg! Nearly bedtime already!
I am determined to be on time since September. We had a terrible punctuality record at school last year. (not helped by the fact that our school was closed down, and their new school is much further away).
P.s. comrade, I hope you are getting some sleep! Safe journey. When do you arrive?
Also slattern, if you have routines in place, do the rest of your family? Or are they undoing your progress?
Slattern, I think Moans are welcome! It's all shit we're going through even if it's different shit we have to deal with.
Twonker DD is 20 months and DS is due November 17th. Yes, moving countries is a rubbish idea when you're this pregnant! No schools for them yet thank goodness although I've heard the waiting list in Sydney for pre schools is horribly long so I may sign her up for them at some point.
I'm taking way too much stuff - I know I'll have to have a massive dejunk once we're in Sydney but I'll deal with that when I have to.
I wear a watch and it makes a huge difference to punctuality. I'm the same as you, Twonker, if I don't wear one. Suddenly it's 7:30 and we still haven't started DDs wind down time.
I have also found it really helpful to have an approximate schedule for the day... getting up at 7, breakfast at 7:30, lunch at 12, DDs nap after lunch, start dinner at 5, eat at 6:30 (no it doesn't take me an hour to cook dinner but what with heating the horrible oven and doing general prep first I find if I don't start at 5 then we eat later and later), DD's bath at 7 and into bed by 7:30. Sounds horrible and regimented but it made a massive difference tbh.
Hello! Thank you for your posts, I feel better knowing that I'm not alone. All, and I mean all, my RL friends are minimalist neat freaks.
Part of the problem for me is that I work part time and on those days nothing gets done, so everything rolls over to the end of the week. On the days Im off I'm usually so relieved to be out of the daily grind that I relax too much or go off to meet other mums. Next thing I know it is the weekend and all the housework needs done. I have lost count of the times I have said that I want Sundays to be a family day (i'm not particularly religious but just think it would be nice to spend one day in the week as a family). But envitably I spend the entire day panick cleaning/getting ready to go back to work.
I would love to find a happy medium.
In relation to the family my dcs are disaster areas, but I blame myself for that by setting them a bad example. I'm working on them being more responsible for their things. DH is an excellent blitz cleaner but rubbish at general maintenance. He would be quite happy to let place fall down round him and at the eleventh hour do a mass tidy up, repeat the cycle. It is this cycle I'm fed up with.
I have always worn a watch. The reason for my lateness is nothing to do with not being aware of the time but faffing around doing unnecessary things upstairs, then come downsatirs to discover that I have forgotten to put the kids shoes on and I can't find their coats. (yes I am very aware that my priorities are wrong!).
Comrade - please let us know how the big move goes.
Twonker - there seems to be a definite correlation between the amount of stuff you own (in my case alot) and general tidyness. I must declutter!
YY Slattern, my RL friends are the same. The only vaguely cluttered friend I have is of the cute, cottage, cluttered type where everything still looks tidy and neat and without an item out of line. <sigh>
re DC it's one of the reasons I'm glad we're leaving. I grew up (overseas) with nannys and cleaners and cooks and never learnt how to look after myself. In the mornings I riffled through my wardrobes, dumped what I didn't want on the floor and when I came home from school it was to a magically spotless bedroom again. So for me, yes, the fairies really did do it.
Slattern I think that flylady (yawn) is good with getting kids involved. How old are yours?
Totally agree about amount of stuff and general tidiness. It is SO much easier to keep a small space with little in it neat and tidy. Watching the packers put everything into boxes has absolutely hit home for me how much crap that we have and how much more needs to be dejunked. I thought I had done a lot too. No, no I really hadn't even touched the surface.
Only 2 to 3 hours left for the packers to do. They'll finish tomorrow morning, the agent comes to do check out procedure and then we're out of here!
I'll still swing past and say hi to you both.
Hi to both!
Yes, I think declutter ing is the fly lady habit most difficult to establish for me. I do th bed, the sink, the shoes, And a load a day.
I am worried about how attached my kids are to their junk as well. It is almost impossible to get rid of any of their things with their permission. ATM I am just getting rid, and then when they ask just saying on, it's in the attic!
Letting go of stuff is so hard, especially clothes that were an investment, but no longer fit, for example.
Well yesterday I took a good look at the living room after work, which I had been ignoring, and put a few things away. It looks a lot better. But then I was late getting the dinner ready, late putting the kids to bed, late eating, late washing up, and late going to bed!
I think having a strict limit on up til what time you can do an activity is crucial for time management, and I'm not strict about anything really!
Comrade, my childhood was very happy, but not the best for installing discipline either. Many of my family members are untidy. I guess I don't have the problem of feeling untidy in comparison to my friends, however I also don't have any examples of tidiness around, to show me how it even looks!
I had a chat with my dc the other day about how I am trying hard to keep tidy, and how much I need them to respect my efforts, and do their little jobs too. I think this has helped.
Slattern, I work part time too. I have recently stopped doing extra agency work, so I have 2 days off in the week. This is an enormous relief. Most of my friends work, so I can't meet up with them during the day, so these days are supposed to be for running the house!
Do you feel that visitors judge you for the state of your house?
Hi all. I'm definitely a bit better organised this week. Family room is in good nick, the bedrooms are passable and the toilets have been cleaned. However don't even think of looking at the kitchen, dining room or study.
Comrade - my dcs are 5 and 2. The 5 yr old is getting slightly better at picking up after himself but only because I am on at him constantly. The 2 yr old is another matter, a wrecking machine.
I also understand your point about your childhood and the effect it has now. Whilst I didn't have a cleaner or nanny my mother was a SAHM. I left for school in morning and everything was as it should be by the time I got home. It's only as an adult that I can appreciate how much she did.
Hope the move is going well.
Twonker - if my visitors judge me by the state of my house, it's to late now to worry about it! The damage is done. When I started to try to change at end of July one friend said 'what has happened to the slattern we know and love'. My friends are so used to it even if I was to miraculously change the image of me is so set in stone I don't think they would notice.
I must try and shift some stuff this weekend.
Hope you all had a good weekend. I invited a few of my dd's friends round for her birthday tea, and she also invited a few friends over, so got cleaning mode on full blast this weekend.
Now I'm sitting down at last and I can't help feeling there must be at least another 50 things to do before I go to bed!
I guess in need to have friends over more often, as it has had a great effect on the. Overall appearance of the house and my dd absolutely loved it!
Twonker - your post made me laugh, my DH used to 'joke' that when the house was really bad we should invite visitors around as that was the only think that made us tidy up.
Like Comrade said above, I really like the house tidy, it is a joy. It is just a shame I can't keep up the general maintenace required to keep it that way. As I said beofre I need to get out of the cycle of blitz cleaning and keep things on a more even keel.
Hope things are going well for all.
How are you going slattern?
How was the move comrade?
I am not managing to be a good housekeeper. At all.
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