My house is so messy, dirty and awful I need help PLEASE :-(

(145 Posts)
namechangedforareason Sun 22-Nov-09 23:43:20

I HATE my house. It has got to the point I can't bear to be at home. We go to toddler groups or classes most days and if I am at home I feel awful. I can't bear the state I have let the house get in to. It is dirty, very messy, cluttered etc. I feel bad for my children. I NEED to get it sorted for their sake and mine.

DH is taking the kids out for a couple of hours tomorrow.

So there is my chance to get it sorted. But I don't even know where to start!

I feel like I am always cleaning and tidying. But it is still a right state - how does that work?!

I am not looking for a spotless house, I would hate that. But I would love for it to be safe and hygenic for my kids, and to be able to have friends over at the last min without being embarrassed about the state of the house.

PLLLLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEE Help me. I am really desperate. sad

ihearttruffles Mon 23-Nov-09 00:19:51

Flylady?

alwayslookingforanswers Mon 23-Nov-09 00:23:55

for an "emergency" clean I'd recommend flylady crisis cleaning (I've found it works just as well without the shoes on - but whatever suits you).

Then if "FLYing" is your sort of thing (you can read more about her regular keeping on top of things stuff on the website) then you could try that, and join the Flylady thread here on MN \link{ http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/good_housekeeping/862050-Fledglinh-flyers-November-Part-2\here}

or if it's not your style for the "regular" housing keeping then you could join us here on the listmakers thread.

For now I'd concentrate on getting it in some sort of order tomorrow and would definitely recommend that crisis cleaning.

alwayslookingforanswers Mon 23-Nov-09 00:24:38

sorry link for the "FLYers" here on MN is here (hope it's worked this time}

cathcat Mon 23-Nov-09 00:27:32

Start with the bathroom and kitchen.
Clear surfaces as much as possible and invest in storage boxes to get clutter away from the floors etc.
Declutter as much as you can.
Get DH or a good friend to help you.
Get a routine for the basics.
Get help with ironing to make a dent in the ironing pile.
Don't lose heart!
<<should take own advice emoticon>>

Namechangedforareason, are you me?! blush you are not alone.

cathcat Mon 23-Nov-09 00:30:52

that crisis cleaning is brilliant...I'm going to do a bit of that tomorrow.

alwayslookingforanswers Mon 23-Nov-09 00:40:00

cathcat. I tried FLylady many times over a period of years and it never worked for me. However I still fall back on the crisis cleaning when things have gone really badly downhill. Always works to get things back into some sort of order without getting bogged down with big jobs.

ALFA, that link for crisis cleaning doesn't work...please give it again.

alwayslookingforanswers Mon 23-Nov-09 00:46:38

Thank you!

I'm going to do some of that tomorrow

alwayslookingforanswers Mon 23-Nov-09 00:57:17

no problem smile

frazzled74 Mon 23-Nov-09 01:11:34

I was having similar crisis earlier today.when dcs were in bed i went round with black sacks and cleared 2 sacks for charity shop and 1 for rubbish.It only took me about 20 minutes and it felt really great. if i do this twice a week ,my house will be clutter free in 4 weeks, im sure. Its also really given me incentive to do some cleaning tomorrow.

lowrib Mon 23-Nov-09 02:30:47

I am a reformed messy person (well still quite messy, but much much better now than I was).

Here are the two most important things I have learnt.

1. When it gets the point that it feels overwhelming, you need help. Can you get a friend to help you? I find that having a good friend there makes a big difference to the amount I get done, and they don't even need to actually do any tidying. just having someone there to chat to, and keep me focussed I find really helps, particularly when I feel I don't know where to start.

2. Storage, it's all about storage! I spent some time staying with my MIL a while ago. She probably has just as much stuff as me, but it's everything is neatly stored. when we stayed at hers, she kept giving me boxes to put things in. It may sound obvious, but a pile of baby socks on the floor is a mess. Baby socks in a box the other hand is perfectly acceptable.
Go to IKEA if you have one, and get lots of tupperware / boxes etc.

ShinyAndNew Mon 23-Nov-09 06:53:42

What lowrib said. My best friend is a cleaning godess and is often invited round for a cuppa when I am in the middle of BIG CLEAN DAY. She cannot help but join in blush

My house is (now) relatively reasonable most of the time and I have boxes and drawers everywhere I can think of.

Though my tip would be first go round and bag up all the rubbish.

Then do the same with the recycling.

Then the washing.

Then go round with a bag for charity - be ruthless.

Then get a box and anything that doesn't have home goes in the box.

Things should look much better after this and you won't feel so overwhelmed.

namechangedforareason Mon 23-Nov-09 11:17:19

Thanks guys. Have just dropped the kids off so getting started after this post. I Have got 3 bins sorted - one for recycling, one for rubbish and one for charity. I am then going to hang a bag on the door for dirty washing and get a box for things that don't have a home like shineyandnew just suggested.

I don't have ANY money to buy more storage. I have loads of storage boxes but they are all full! A lot of the stuff in them is crap but its just having the time to sort them through.

Really hope DH stays out with the kids for long enough for me to get downstairs sorted. Then if I can keep that tidy all week, he can take them out again next week and I can do upstairs! Think I am going to ask him to do this every week as it just gives me a chance to get on top of everything a bit.

Wish me luck! Thanks for all being supportive and not judgemental. I have also contacted homestart to see if they would be able to help (not clean the house, but maybe just play with the kids for a bit while I do the washing up etc).

Thanks smile

Good luck! I know just how you feel - I could have written your post... except that DH isn't going out with the kids so I have to try to sort the house whilst they're around. Am going to join you on a tidying mission once DS1 is at preschool at midday.

namechangedforareason Mon 23-Nov-09 11:39:18

twolittlemonkeys - I find it completly impossible doing it whilemy 2 are at home. They are 7 months and almost 2. They sleep at different times too so I don't have any time while they are both sleeping either. Have just put a bowl of washing up in to soak and my washing has almost finished, just sat down as I realised I was really hungry so had some pasta salad while checking on here. So now off to do that washing up and the clothes washing now, and then going to spend 15 mins in the bathroom which should finish the bathroom off (except sweeping and mopping the floor maybe). ANd that at least gives me a room to tick off my list. I will quickly come back and report back after as I think I need to be "Telling somebody" what I have done all the way, so I feel like I have achieved something!

Goodluck two little monkeys. Hope you manage to get lots done.

If I am notback in half an hour then you know I got really into it and started on the kitchen!

namechangedforareason Mon 23-Nov-09 13:25:48

Well I am finally back. Been doing 15 mins in each room since my last post. Did the kitchen twice though so far as it is a real state. I am just having a 15 min sit down on here, although I think i will be mostly in the housekeeping section, trying to work out a more long term plan.

Am armed with some red bull (well the tesco equivilant!).

lowrib Mon 23-Nov-09 13:49:14

Well done grin grin

Make sure it is just 15 minutes here though - as I'm sure you know mumsnet is dangerous!! Don't let it suck you in for the rest of the day!

(Oh sugar, I'm meant to be paying bills actually, not here at all!)

<scuttles off>

brockleybelle Mon 23-Nov-09 13:50:35

I was blessed in that dh took our 18 month old abroad to visit grandparents (i couldn't go, long story) so it meant that I had a whole week to concentrate on the house. I know this is a complete luxury and most of us would have to do it with children underfoot/leaving the house for a few hours at a time, but I'll just share with you what I did.

I had a massive declutter - Went through wardrobe, chests of drawers and ended up freecycling 7 bags of clothes that hadn't been worn for ages. As well as getting rid of stuff that was just lying around, without being put to any worthwhile use.

Baby clothes - I bought large, cheap but pretty boxes from Ikea (about 10) and put away all my son's clothes that he's grown out of. I put things away according to size. I put the boxes on top of the wardrobe and the rest in a corner in the living room (1 bedroom flat so not much space).

I had a deep clean in the kitchen ie walls, getting everything out of cupboards and cleaning those, freecycling all the needless mugs, extra teapots etc that we had. Our kitchen is very small so we purchased a while ago some narrow metal trolleys from lakeland - the type that slide into narrow gaps - which we keep tins, packets etc on.

Deep-cleaned bathroom too. I find storage baskets in bathroom v handy.

I think the two most important things, personally, are decluttering (be RUTHLESS) and packing things into containers. Doing these two things made me feel so much better mentally. I could then approach the cleaning in a good frame of mind. Also, once I'd done the decluttering and organizing I found it much easier to keep things clean and tidy, not least because I wasn't feeling so depressed about the state of the house.

DH is putting up shelves in our living room this week and we're going to put all of ds's toys up there out of the way. Perhaps put up shelves everywhere you think they'll be suitable.

ihearttruffles Mon 23-Nov-09 13:59:14

Well done

Hello again, well DS2 amazingly fell asleep in the car on the way back from dropping DS1 at preschool so I parked on the drive, left him in the car with window open & front door open so I could hear him and scuttled round picking up the worst of the mess. Still loads to do so I suppose I should see if I can get anything else done though as he's now awake and underfoot I may be less productive. Perhaps if I manage an hour sorting/decluttering/deep cleaning each day my house might look less embarrassingly awful by Christmas - I filled a bin bag with rubbish, broken toys, worn out shoes etc in about half an hour blush Haven't even started upstairs yet!

namechangedforareason Mon 23-Nov-09 14:05:42

Right, was on here more than 15 mins but did this and would be grateful if anybody would help me with it? Think it maybe the way forward with it and just writing all the jobs down made me realise that maybe I CAN keep on top of it all, as it really isn't THAT much to do each day when you look at it like that.

Am off to do more now anyway, so will be back later! grin

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