Working from home - Any tips?

[AnnieMo]

I was wondering if anyone can give me any tips on successfully working from home - is it really possibly with a toddler in tow. I have recently started a new job which does have an office, but much of the work is out and about and I can also work at home. As my dh also works funny work patterns and is often at home during the day we decided to reduce ds's hours with the childminder and share some of the childcare between us. I only work part time but have to be flexible about hours. Anyway dh is fine looking after ds if I am not in the house, but if I am trying to work from home he always seems to assume that I should be on duty and the things he has to do are more important! On Friday I had a nightmare day - dh was rushing backwards and forwards to the garage with a sick car so wasn't at home much, ds decided to resist an afternoon nap and so I was running up and down to the computer trying to fit in bits of work and getting more and more stressed - i was ready to jack it all in. I just find juggling it all so stressful - is there really a way to manage it? Any tips greatly received.

[pupuce]

We both work from home and find that we work more in the evenings actually (but we don't mind). We also have CLEAR turns of who is in charge of the kids... and therefore I (or he) can shout "Get DD downstairs, she keeps coming into the office!"

I do love working from home

[aloha]

I also love working from home, but there is no way I could do it with a 20month old without proper childcare. I agree with you, trying to work with your child around is extremely stressful and you end up snappy with child and not concentrating on work which isn't fair to anyone, particularly your ds who will probably feel confused. If you don't want to go back to using the childminder or getting someone in as a mother's help for financial reasons I think you have to sit down with your dh and really talk about what sharing the childcare while working at home means to both of you. Explain that he doesn't have to look after a toddler while working and neither can you, so if he is looking after your ds then he has to take over completely. For example, he has to take ds to the garage with him. I am very strict about only working my three days while I have a nanny, but if due to an emergency I have something I need to do on one of my off days (an interview I can't do in the evening, for example) then I either ask a local student I know to come here to entertain ds, or my mum comes in or dh takes a morning off. But I have to say, none is as good as ds being out of the house!

[misty]

I have tried both methods - working round 15 mth DS and also DS going to a childminder and have to say that like aloha, it is much better when he is out of the house. I am quite lucky in that the hours I work are very flexible, and on the days when DS doesn't go to the childminders I just do my work in the evenings. During that time, if either DS (eldest is at school during the day) wakes up, then for all intents and purposes I am 'out at work' so in theory not in the house as far as DP is concerned (my rules!) and that way there is no confusion. I don't think you can mix the 2 tbh.

[Sari]

I'm another one who has tried working from home with a child around and have to say it was a nightmare. I either couldn't get any work done, or ended up feeling dreadful about ignoring the baby when I absolutely had to finish something off. I ended up going back to the office part-time and putting my child into a nursery.

Now I'm working at home again but have another baby so the oldest child goes to nursery part time and a nanny comes to look after the 9 month old for four hours a day, Mon-Thurs. He will go to nursery in September and I will start working four longer days, ie around six hours. I absolutely love this arrangement. I think you can also get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time when you are at home.

I really think you do need to find some way of making sure that when you are at work, you are at work, whether you are shut away upstairs or in an office on the other side of town. During that time you should be completely child free and undisturbable or, if you're anything like me, your sanity is at risk!

[zebra]

I think it depends a little bit on the child. Their age & temperment comes into it. I sometimes get a little work done with Child2 around, but Child1 usually wants my full attention. Overall.. generally can't get much work done with either of the children on the premises. Why in the world didn't your DH take your DS in the car with him, AnnieMo???

My DH is doing most of our childcare, currently. I told him flat out that the kids have to be out of the house for me to get any work done, end of story, his responsibility to give me my hours.

[Tillysmummy]

AnnieMo, I work from home Friday's but my mum has dd and always takes her to hers. I know my experience of trying to get work done when she is there is pretty stressful she keeps wanting to come and see me. I think the best solution is to arrange it before with DH and agree when each of you is going to work and who is going to look after the kids and then he should take them out or get them really engrossed in some activity. If you are there I think the temptation is too much for them to come and see you.

[lucy123]

I agree - it's definately very difficult to "combine" working from home with childcare. Unless your child takes very long and reliable daytime naps I suppose.

I work from home and have a childminder 4 mornings a week. So dd is still in the house, but certainly not in the office! Occasionally I have to work when the childminder is not here and those days are usually very stressful as nap-time is never long enough.

Also definately think your dh should have taken your ds with him - you should talk to him.

[Bozza]

Agree with what the others have said. DH is based at home although on the road a lot and I work 3 days a week when DS goes to nursery. DH always tries to have "out" days when we are at home because he finds us a distraction. Even though I totally look after DS and he generally forgets that DH is even in the house you never know when DS is going to have a tantrum or walk into a door frame or whatever in the middle of an important phone call. If you were working in an office your DH would have had to take DS with him. The furthest I have gone is to nip to the corner shop while DS was (reliably) nappping.

[motherinferior]

I have worked from home since before my daughter was born, and my one piece of advice to everyone is please, please sort out childcare; childcare's a job, and you can't do two jobs at once. In fact I get quite huffy at the suggestion my dd is around while I work...

[AnnieMo]

Thanks for all your messages - it is good to know that some of you have got it all sorted! You are of course right and childcare does need to be more organised - I have just booked some extra time with the childminder this week as I know I have some extra work to do at the end of the week and dh will not be around. I suppose it is just getting used to a completely different way of working - it was certainly alot 'easier' when I just went into the office for a set time and then came home again - the boundaries were a lot clearer. Still I do enjoy the flexibility of working from home - so i guess you can't have it both ways. By the way I know dh should have taken ds to the garage with him - but that's men for you!

[mummy101]

I have been working at home for over 10 years, but only 8 with children, you definately have to have childcare eithr in home or outsise. I had the latter.
To assuage the guilt ( i.e. you are at home therefore should have child with you)you need to think of that time as just like being in an office. So........have a designted area/room if you can, do not look at washing -up, housework etc., leave desk only for making cups of tea. You have to be disciplined. But the advantages are you get far more done at home so you can finish early and pick him up. Fit in you time if you can, gym etc. but DO NOT rum around as if you are on a day off or you will get no work done. I tried to have kids at home on working days and it does not work as it is i) not fair on your work ( they pay you to do a day's work, (ii) not fair on your child ( he does not understand "later" (ii) not fair on you ( you get stressed, blame child). As for dh he needs to get his head around the fact that where you work is irrelevant. Be firm with him, YOU ARE WORKING! MOST MEN CANNOT REALLY GET THEIR HEADS AROUND THIS so you will have to keept drumming it in and the only way to back this up is by refusing to do any extraneous tasks. If you stick to your guns he will eventually take you seriously.
If you do take off half an hour then try and devote it to yourself ( don't tell dh). Don't feel guilty about extra childcare as you would need it if you were in an office.
Keep the flexibility for times when your'e child is ill and you will have to work with him at home.Try and do one job at a time, then you will stay sane!

[aloha]

I agree with motherinferior. The number of people who assume that because I am at home I look after ds AND work... duh! Yeah, and you could do a full days work in your office and run a creche... I think not. The advantages are - no time wasted commuting. More efficient as no pointless time wasting meetings. No arselicking the boss (also time consuming) and tea just the way I like it. I also put on loads of washing and water the garden during lulls or if I need a break to clear my head. Disadvantages? Difficult to make the clear division between work time and other time and a tendancy to work in evenings and too much time on mumsnet...

[lucy123]

you've got it right with the too much time on mumsnet "disadvantage" Aloha. I should be working now. Actually I am working - valuable research.

[motherinferior]

Yep, me too...
perhaps I should take the washing out, as well...

[motherinferior]

The other thing I think is important is forward planning - if you have an emergency, you don't have one employer you can inform, and/or rights to parental leave. I do my best to get deadlines as far extended as possible (specially since I only do 4 days a week) and then deliver early, so that (a) I have a bit of leeway for emergencies (b) I build up 'credit' for the inevitable time when it will all go pear shaped.

And never, never agree with people's helpful suggestions you take your child to a meeting!

[aloha]

Oh, yes, like when they say why not meet up for lunch and bring your son... hmm, yes it's really easy batting ideas around and looking professional while trying to wrestle with a tired 20month old who wants to run into the road/crawl under the table. But I just thought of another huge advantage - wearing comfy clothes and no makeup while working - oh, and bare feet. Bliss.

[motherinferior]

Second that, Aloha. Speaking as an enormously pregnant woman,propping 34-week tummy up on desk...

PS you don't get maternity leave or pay or anything either, though.

[aloha]

Yes, and that's a big downer. I know that if we have another child I might not be able to b/feed as much as will have to start working again much earlier which is depressing. Either that or a huge bank loan. Also hate the money aspect - by which I mean tax. How on earth does anyone pay tax and childcare??? I have a really spendthrift nature and find saving for tax the ultimate nightmare. Any tips?

[motherinferior]

Do you have a separate business account? And/or a tax account? I am now a 'limited company' (if you do this, get a very good accountant who knows how companies operate, though!) which is interesting as well. Separate accounts help as you don't simply get money pouring in and out.

I don't actually mind the prospect of a short maternity leave (oh, there's another tip - be REALLY CLEAR with everyone when you go and when you're planning to come back)but I do very VERY much resent having to fund the damn thing, with a little bit of SMP to tide me over.

Having said all of which, I prefer the job I do now.

Oh, and I'm also very clear about which days I work, which days I don't, and the fact that I don't work after 4.30 in the afternoon (I start very early usually). I am getting very tough on not agreeing to evening interviews just because someone doesn't feel like talking in the day.

Final tip - don't feel TOO guilty about time spent emailing etc. We need the support!

[aloha]

How does being a limited company help you? As opposed to merely be freelance, I mean? Any tax advantages. Also, any sneaky tips on what to claim back???? I am seeing my accountant next week so would be impossibly grateful for any tips... Am having nightmares about money generally. Seem to earn quite a lot but it all vanishes..

[aloha]

Do you have an account you put money into and siphon it out into an account for day to day living then?

[whellid]

Aloha, I'm having tax nightmares at the moment as well, mainly self induced as my records are no where near up to date. I also have a problem in that I'm only working on one contract at the moment, as that takes about 4 days a week and thats all I want to do. Am worried that the tax office will claim that I should be working for them, rather than on a contract, and I'll have to pay higher tax.
At the moment I have a tax account into which a certain percentage of all incomings goes each month, and although very tempting it has remained untouched all year, so I'm hoping I've put too much away and I get a 'bonus'!
I've also started a 'maternity' account to cover the three months I hope to take off from November, but I agree with motherinferior that I will have to be strict about when I say I'll start working again. It will be tempting to do a few hours here and there though, as I won't need to do many hours to get more money than the maternity allowance each week.
But aside from the disadvantages of maternity leave, and constantly having to tell dh that as I don't expect him to be able to do the shopping / housework while he is at work he shouldn't expect me to, I love working from home.

[lucy123]

You lot don't know how lucky you are to have the option of saving for tax.

In Spain you have to pay 20% of all profits evry quarter, and then claim the difference back (or pay more). But then I even have a hard time saving for the quarterly payment - separate accounts a great idea.

But Aloha - I think motherinferior was just mentioning the limited company without suggesting it as a helpful thing. We used to have one and as far as I can see, they simply cause paperwork. Also cause serious tax disadvantages if you don't get good advice in the beginning (guess who didn't...)

[motherinferior]

There are, in fact, now tax advantages to being a limited company - they may or may not continue, but over the past couple of years it does seem to have become an advantage. Having said that, I couldn't do it without a good accountant, who is prepared to deal with my complete financial incompetence. I am quite good at being a skinflint but not at wider financial issues.

I used to have a separate tax account; now, under strict instructions from said excellent accountant, I have a business account out of which I am paid my salary and any dividends I also claim.

I have to say I am having nightmares about this baby being late and eating into my four months off. On the other hand that's only part of the pre-natal nightmare scenario...

[motherinferior]

And as far as claiming...depends what you do. I suspect I'm not nearly as imaginative as I should be. But travel, papers, stationery, etc are all kosher expenses in my book. Childcare, of course, isn't. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is a crime.