How to explain to 3 year old DS about going back to work...

[Tallgirl]

I am going back to work pt (3 days) in a few weeks since birth of DD in September. (You may have seen my previous post about the desk situation last week!). I am a bit concerned about how to explain this to DS (3 years 2 months) and how he will react. He has been going to his childminder since i was on mat leave to keep the space open (and help me maintain my sanity) so that is not changing except he will be going longer hours and his baby sister will be going too. When i went on mat leave he was a bit upset at first although nothing had changed with childminder, he obviously realised i was staying at home and was a bit tearful/upset for a few weeks. He has grown up a lot since then now he is a big brother, it toilet trained and is at pre-school. He will also be picked up from pre-school by my parents who will look after him and DD one day a week which they always used to do. HOw much should i explain to him and how much will he understand?

I think he will be find with DD going to childminder as well as he is really good with her and likes to help out and bring her toys etc - except of course when she is crying through his favourite TV programmes!

Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks

[Yeshi]

Be straight forward with him- be honest.. but most of all, be confident. If you feel guilty, he'll know and it will be inviting tantrums. Just explain that you are returning to work (it would be better if you were excited, so you could tell him this) and do your best to make it sound like a good thing.

One thing my previous employer did was casually mention a certain situation a few times before actually sitting down and telling her children. This way, they were used to hearing it and they had time to semi absorb it before 'really' being told. This seemed to help them transition because their mother never made a big deal about anything. I think children react a lot to their parents, so, if you're calm and confident about it, it will be easier for your children to accept it.

It's probably also wise to mention that things won't be changing very much although, it will probably take a few weeks before they are fully adjusted. The main thing, I believe, is to stay calm and confident, even if your children are upset. Your reactions will dictate whether or not they are justified in crying!

Good luck!

[Tallgirl]

Thanks - seems to be fine at the moment as i have explained to him. Funny that he did mention that Mummy's dont go to work (although did before DD born) and Daddys do!

Started yesterday and was really quite dull plus horrible new desk position which meant couldnt MN at all. Have moved today as someone not in for a few days. Role on Wednesday afternoon!