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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work

Going back to work - yippee!

17 replies

Uhu · 23/09/2004 09:25

My twin DSs are now 7 months old, I go back to work in a weeks time and to be brutally honest, I can't wait! I love my DSs dearly and would not want to be without them but I need time for myself. My family as well as my DH family live 150 miles away from us so we do not have the extended network who would help us out with babysitting or just to provide a few hours respite during the day. I never realised how much work was involved in looking afte one baby let alone two.

I'm fortunate in that I am going back to work part-time for 3 days a week and I know it will rejuvenate me again. I know that it will also require us to very organised in terms of dropping off and picking up from nursery. I have already decided which meals I will cook and freeze at the weekend so that I do not have to cook on the days I'm working. That will enable me to spend more time with the boys after I pick them up from work.

I think my DSs will benefit too in that they will get use to being aound other people other than me. I've tried attending Mother & Toddlers groups but I do not enjoy them. I gave up on my NCT group a long time ago because I did not fit in and had nothing in common with them. Maybe I'm the problem!

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vict17 · 23/09/2004 09:32

Hi Uhu. You sound exactly like me. I've just gone back to work part time, ds is 6 months. I love having that little part of 'me' back, I don't feel like just a other any more if that makes sense! And I too didn't like the mother and toddler group I went to - I started feeling like a failure because I haven't made friends with any new mums. My family also don't live close so those hours at work not thinking of the next meal/bottle etc are bliss! Well done on all that time at home with twins - I can't imagine how hard it must have been Also I really love the days I spend with ds, I appreciate the time we have together, I love it when he comes home from nursery with dh and gives me a big smile....

MrsWednesday · 23/09/2004 09:32

Morning Uhu. I felt exactly the same as you when I went back to work and I only have only one DS to look after!

I'm working four days a week and it feels like a nice balance as I have time for myself at work, then a day with me and DS where I feel like I have more energy and motivation to do things with him. Then we have family time at the weekend. My DS seems to love nursery too, which made the transition easier.

All the very best for your first day back - if you're anything like me it will take a week or so to get into the swing of things but after that it's like you've never been away!

vict17 · 23/09/2004 09:33

that should be "just a mother"

aku · 23/09/2004 10:06

I am glad you feel like this Uhu as hopefully I will be in the same position. I am expecting twins and hope to be back at work about the 7 month mark. I plan to go babk for three days as well. I know all this is jumping the gun a bit but already I know 7 months will be the limit for me.

Uhu · 23/09/2004 10:30

I said to my DH husband yesterday that I'm looking forward to someone else having to feed and change them all day. That really sums it up. I'm fed up with it! Some people might think I'm harsh and uncaring but I'm not. Motherhood will be the most difficult and rewarding job that I will ever do but I just want and need a change.

OP posts:

Kayleigh · 23/09/2004 10:35

god Uhu, you do not sound harsh and uncaring at all. I was delighted to get back to work after both my pregnancies. I went back each time when my boys were both 6 months. Maternity leave (especially the first one) was a nightmare. And that was just with one baby. I can't imagine how much harder two would be.

I also work 3 days now, and I think it is gives a great work/life balance. My favourite part of my work day is an uninterrupted cup of tea when i get in the office

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

SoftFroggie · 23/09/2004 13:46

Good to hear fromyou, Uhu - I remember from previous posts how you were looking forward to getting back into work.

I was thrilled to return to work when DS was 6.5mo (old mat leave system). went back 4 days, then cut back to three days, which I found a lovely balance. But as he's grown older I'm enjoying my time with him a lot more (18mo was the big change point) and am thrilled to be going on mat leave again - I'm starting it early partly as I am looking forward to spending time with a toddler. I've found one toddler group I love (and others I've hated) and other activities I enjoy with him. But - I've barely started mat leave, and I'm looking forward to returning again though.

I enjoy - intelligent adult conversations about technical stuff; NOT having adult conversations about poo; having hot tea; going to the loo in peace; using my brain for something other than logistics / managing / play.

Some of us don't fit in as well with the "mums crowd", but I think we find others like us eventually.

Hope going back to work is everything you wish for!

motherinferior · 23/09/2004 13:50

OH god I love this thread! After DD1 I RACED back to work after four months, and finally felt there was a little bit of my life I could actually feel able to cope with. After dd2 I did feel a bit more reluctant, but still went back after five months (I am self-employed so even those months off were hard to do!).

Now I do four days and I love it. And my two adorable girls.

Uhu · 23/09/2004 16:03

I'm really enjoying reading these messages in between feeding and changing my gorgeous twosome. It's so refreshing to have views that are non-judgemental and hostile towards working mothers. My mother always worked, mostly part-time and she had 5 children in total. She just got on with it because she had to because my father's wage just wasn't enough. None of us were adversely affected and none of us have ever been unemployed.

I thrive on mental stimulation and at the moment, I'm not getting it though I do recognise that my boys fulfill me in many other respects. I'm looking forward to the stage when they are like sponges and are eager to absorb so much information and knowledge. I think I will be in my element then. I've already compiled a library of books for them. I just hope they have my taste.

OP posts:

hercules · 23/09/2004 16:12

It is such a luxury to sit down for 15 minutes and have a cup of tea without a baby hanging on to your leg or thinking about the dishes.

Kayleigh · 23/09/2004 16:18

Uhu, I have two boys. And unless your reading matter of choice is Spiderman you may be in for a suprise

Issymum · 23/09/2004 16:25

Another vote for getting back to work Uhu. I love the DDs and really enjoy spending time with them, but I also love my job and the part of 'me' that does it.

Given some of the recent threads there are also some hidden minor upsides to being a working mother, like not giving a stuff about mother-cliques ignoring you at the M&T groups, not talking to you at the schoolgate or failing to invite you to their coffee mornings. "I don't care because I couldn't come to your stupid coffee morning anyway because I'll be in a business meeting in New York. So there!"

SoftFroggie · 23/09/2004 16:34

"business meeting in NY" - at least that's a swanky excuse.

I just get to miss coffee mornings to go to landfill sites in Essex / construction sites in Wolverhampton etc. I'm hoping that in a year or two DS will be impressed that while he and friends are playing with toy diggers / dump trucks and wearing Bob-the-Builder hard hats at nursery, his mummy is doing it for real. (actually, not that often on construction sites these days, mostly on computer or in meetings with BAD coffee and stale biscuits - still not swanky, though).

motherinferior · 23/09/2004 16:36

DP got a new job, with slightly more money attached, and friend from DD1 antenatal group asked me if I'd be going down to three days a week. I said it had never occurred to me. Er, should it?

Issymum · 23/09/2004 16:46

Well the meeting in NY aren't that often. Like you, it's more likely to be a sweaty meeting room with undrinkable coffee and stale biscuits.

Construction work is much more thrilling (to anybody under the age of 10 and anybody with a Y chromosome) than being a lawyer.

Umm, no MI. Not unless you want to? Rather than going down from four to three days, how about putting aside three weeks a month for the dull stuff and one week a month for the glamorous articles or that unwritten/unfinished novel?

motherinferior · 23/09/2004 16:47

Three weeks a year for Glamour, eh. Can I cope ?

Issymum · 23/09/2004 17:01

Ahem! One week a month for 'glamour' - isn't that 12 weeks a year??!! Or is that just a glamour OD?

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