Going back to work in 3 weeks.... how will it affect 6 mo dd?

[daisyhun]

Hi

Just found this topic and I am going back to work on 6 August after a lovely 8 month maternity leave.

I feel like I am ready to go back and I am looking forward to being a "grown up" again ie wearing my nice smart suits etc but really dreading the long hours and only seeing dd (nearly 6mo) first thing and last thing at night.

I get really upset when I think that dd's life at the moment is basically me and her doing everything together - and soon her little world will be turned upside down

Fantastic MIL is going to look after dd at our house so she will have a familiar person and environment - is it just me who will find it hard to adjust?

I am worried about how it is going to affect dd in the short term - will her routines etc be affected - or are they pretty adaptable at this age?

Words of support needed!

[HedTwigg]

you'll be fine within a couple of days you'll barely think about her and be able to switch from at work mummy to at home mummy at the drop of a hat

its you who has the angst .. as long as she's well-cared for she'll be fine

[walbert]

Hi daisyhun, i'm still on maternity leave but keep thinking about work, so know how you feel a when i go back, grandparents will be doing childcare. Have you tried using this spare time to start 'practising' your childcare? maybe once a week, or start with half a day, put your childcare arrangements into practice, then you'll (hopefully) see your dd settle immediately and relish having some one's atention all day! If any problems crop up, at leats you'll have 2 or 3 weeks to iron them out while you're at home, rather than sat fretting at work. All being well by the time you've set off to work for your first day back, you know dd is already in a familiar routine rather than just starting one! Good luck!

[RubySlippers]

you will find it harder than her i promise
i assume she is familiar with your mum and she knows her routines
you will all adapt - i give my DS his bottle in bed with me before, i go to work and he goes to nursery, so we get lots of cuddles together (he has been in nursery since he was 6 months old, and he is now 13.5 months)

[2Happy]

You're very lucky that someone dd knows well is going to be coming to dd's normal environment to look after her - that's going to really minimise the impact IMO. Are you going to have any practice sessions where your mil comes over and you leave for an hour, and then for 2 hours etc to get her ready?

IME it upsets the mother more than the child (says 2Happy, who's going back to work after ds2 on the same day as you )

[SydneyB]

Honestly I think you'll find it much harder than she will. Have just gone back to work myself, DD, 7 months, at nursery 4 days a week. Ok, so I'd rather it was 3 days and that she was with family but that isn't an option and I've made the best choice I feel I can. In days gone by, mum would have baby, then go back into the fields and work and it would be left with extended family to look after. Ok, that's quite simplistic but you do the best you can and as long as your DD feels loved and cared for she'll be fine. I do what Rubyslippers does - get up at crack of dawn and spend loving time with DD before putting her back to bed and coming to work and leaving DH to get her off to nursery. Its early days but she does seem absolutely fine, albeit very tired.

[daisyhun]

Thanks all for your lovely words of encouragement!

Yes, DD is familiar with my lovely MIL who wants to do everything "my" way despite her having raised 4 children of her own and DD being her 7th grandchild!!

MIL retires next week so we have 2 weeks in which we can do the "handover". I need to go and buy some work clothes that actually fit my post-baby body so I will do a couple of all day shopping trips leaving MIL in charge - I am sure she will get on just fine (MIL and DD!).

[orangecat]

DH you're so lucky to have family to look after DD - will make a big difference. It is hard - i went back to work when my DD was 5.5 months. Was lucky enough to have nanny who looked after DH when he was young, which def helped. Worst thing is leaving in the morning - when you're actually at work it's very easy to go back to who you were and the time does fly past. And they are very adaptable. DD is now 2.5 years and at nursery - have a totally different routine at home and she's totally fine with both. Good luck with it xx

[Ettenna]

Daisyhun, I'm in nearly the same position myself only DH will be my baby's FT carer. I also work long hours and am dreading the impact of my apparent 'disappearance' from his life at first. However, several colleagues assure me that once the initial shock wears off, it's fine. We're expecting LO to be unsettled and grizzly at first but hoping that lots of fun with daddy will soon put him right! I think that kids are adaptable little things even at this age. After all, in the past it certainly wasn't always mummy who they saw the most of all day. As long as they are loved, cuddled. fed and entertained I think they're content.

[Naartjie]

I'm sure that your baby will adapt very easily (they do at that age), and it's great that family can look after her. My mom looks after my son and it works well for both of them.