feel so guilty and so sad

[debbsyandsonn]

[lulumama]

do you want to talk about it?

[debbsyandsonn]

sorry lulu lost my connection so took ds out,last day today back to work tomorrow just feeling very sorry for myself

[NikkiBFG]

Oh hun....don't know what to say as haven't gone back to work yet, but I can imagine how you feel and sending big hugs your way

[debbsyandsonn]

thanks just feel really awful having a lovely day with ds he is so beautiful and funny,but i feel like im losing him a little

[NikkiBFG]

I put DS into nursery for his first half day yesterday and again today, in preparation for going back to work and I felt awful so can see what you mean...I was sat in car in floods and thinking what will I do when he grows up and goes to university!!! How mad is that!!

Do you want/have to go back to work?

[lulumama]

are you going back fulltime?

[OrmIrian]

I know how you feel . But whatever else you feel don't feel guilty. Presumably there are good reasons for going back to work and you have found good childcare. A little sadness is inevitable, but it will get better in time.

[mummydoc]

how old is your ds ? are you gogin to work full time ? i have alsways worked in some way my dds are 7 and 2 1/2, some days I gettowork and breathe a sigh of relief some days i cry as dd2 is so cute and lovely to be with , , i often feel sad that nursery gets the good bits and i get the end of day bits when everyone is tired, but do like using my brain and having hte money , but i am lucky i can work less than full time, good luck tomorrow.

[mummydoc]

obviously i am not employed for my typing skills !

[Guitargirl]

Oh, am sorry. I will be going back before too long and am dreading it too.

Think how much fun he will have at nursery or childminder's though and all the little pals he's going to make!

[Judy1234]

But it's not losing him. It's giving him things he will gain, connections with other people. Part of being a parent is sharing our children and giving them the skills to grow up and be independent.

If you want to write my list of 100 reasons children do well with working mothers let me know.

[Slim]

You may be surprised at how much you like being at work once you're back. Try it, if you hate it then reconsider

[Lolly68]

I felt like you do when I went back last September. I promise you it does get easier. MIL use to look after DD but it got too much for her and now she is in full time nursery. I miss her terribly and can't wait to get home to her every evening and live for my weekends with her but please don't feel guilty - look at the positive side of things if you can.

[Judy1234]

If we had my 22 year old on here she would say she was really pleased I went back to work when she was a baby. If you listen to how proudly my 3 at university talk about my work etc it's shows long term you can benefit children by working never mind pay their university fees!

[ArtichokeTagine]

Oh Debby - you will feel better soon. I posted a similar thread last month just before I left DD to return to work. I was dreading it. I do find the mornings very hard as DD screams as I leave her. But as soon as I close the nursery door I can hear her settle down and I usually peek in 30secs later and she is playing happily. I am actually really enjoying the variety in my days now that I am back. I feel like my old self more which is great even though I was loving maternity leave.

Nursery has been a real spur to DD's development. Since she started she has learnt to crawl and pull to standing. She knows how to clap and say "no" (very loudly). And she is still me happy little DD despite the guilt I feel over it all.

[debbsyandsonn]

thanks all feel a bit better now,just being silly like preparing his lunch for tomorrow im not going to be giving it to him,gosh im such a mard arse.
yes going back f.time got a very good job took me years to work my way up,get a company car very good salary,im the main wage earner you see,dh works f time too just hope ds doesnt forget me during the day he will be 6 mths old on the 11th.

[lulumama]

he won't forget you and your time with him will be even more special now..x

[BishyBarneyBee]

it will get better

(you might even enojoy it one day!)

[debbsyandsonn]

god im in floods of tears just getting ds stuff together

[detoxdiva]

Oh, thinking of you debs. I went back to work in March (admittedly not f/t but I can identify with your feelings). Dd goes to nursery 2 days and is at home with dh on the third. I dreaded it at first and missed her soooo much - but now I'm settled back into work I really enjoy it. It's great being 'useful' in a different way, and being able to use your brain again is lovely!

Dd was a bit unsetled at first, but soon settled down and I know she doesn't forget me during the day. The hugs, kisses and cuddles are the best ever when I get home too

[debbsyandsonn]

well just finishing off packing his bag for tomorow spare clothes and all that god i feel bloody awful like there is a huge weight pressin on my chest feel so so sad

[NikkiBFG]

Awww....

[chocolatekimmy]

My 11 month old and nearly 3 year old had their first whole day in nursery yesterday and were both absolutely fine. Probably, in fact definately, had more fun than at home with me. No tears from any of us.

I remembered to ring at 4.30 ish to be told baby was fine, ate and slept and played well and no tears. I felt a bit guilty after putting the phone down for not asking to be put through to the other room to ask about the older one!

Was hard at the end of the day as I had a counselling session straight after work so I didnt' get in until 7.30 and didn't see them much.

I dont' feel guilty, and nor should I. They are fine and we reap lots of benefits from me working

[debbsyandsonn]

thanks all well off to bed now up at 6