Interested in other people's opinion on job dilemma

[babybore]

Am planning to return to work in June when my dd is a year old. Work have agreed I can go back 4 days a week and can work 1 day from home.

Have a job interview tomorrow for a job that is less interesting but better paid. If I get this job it will be 3 days a week and I will be on around £4K less than I would be if I returned to my normal job.

I feel like if I get offered the job it would be Job Vs Conditions of Service. ie I prefer my old job, def more interesting and I'd get £4K more a year but on the other hand new job is more pro rata, better annual leave and maternity pay, and I get to spend 2 days a week with my dd rather than 1. My only worry is is that when she goes to school and I go back f/t I will not be able to go into a senior management position in the area which I would have chosen and which my current job is preparing me for.

Is 2 days a week with your child much better than just 1??

[cheekymonk]

It depends on how good the childcare is. will dd be with childminder, in a nursery, with grandparents? If I was you I would think about this. If you know that dd would be happy in her childcare 4 days and ok with having you the 1 then stick with that. If however, she would be happier with 2 then you need to wegh up how happy YOu will be. i am a firm believer in happy mum = happy child so its no good being at home 2 days and feeling resentful at not being able to get up the career ladder.
I work 3 days at a job that is hardly fulfilling but like you say has good leave, and is flexible where children are concerned and i am happy to stick with this while ds is small. Its a toughie, which could be why you have not had any replies! Good luck x

[susie40]

I can't speak from personal experience as I am a SAHM, but I do have friends who went back and among them the consensus was that 3 days was the way to go because it meant the child had 4 days with family (i.e. more than half the time) and 3 in childcare rather than the other way round.

Another thing to think about is whether, and when, you are likely to have any more children and how that is likely to work out with both jobs.

[ebenezer]

You say with the first job that you'll be at work 4 days and working from home for the other one, so I'm a bit unclear about what you mean by having a day at home with dd. Surely if you're working, you'll need to have childcare arrangements in place. I know some people who work from home and having properly organised childcare is a condition of this. So I would double check exactly where you stand with this, because if you're being paid to do a fulltime job, the expectation won't be that you're using one day to look after your child. In which case, it looks as if the 3 day thing might be the better option at least while your child is small.

[USAUKMum]

Ebenezer beat me to it, you will need to have childcare in place on the day you are working from home, unless you plan to work before your DH goes to work and finish the day after he gets home and maybe an hour or so while DD naps. It isn't possible to work while a toddler is about.

When I went down to a 3 day week, I found people did not really consider me to be on track to a senior position (even though that is what I was going for before my DC). However, after my DS was born I decided not to go back anyway. You may want to enquire if the 3 day job could go full time if that is what you want in a few years.

Think about what is the best balance for you and your family. And think if you are going to have any more -- 3 days with 2 children is easier.

[Zofloyya]

I do quite a lot of work from home, and frequently work at home in the evenings in order to build up TOIL I can take in the daytime to be with my kids. But I absolutely could NOT do that work at home and have enjoyable time with the dds.

Occasionally, in an emergency, I've had to combine working at home with looking after the children. I've got little work done, they've had poor quality attention from me, and I've ended up feeling stressed and crossed.

Realistically, IME the choice you're facing is not 1 day a week with your dd or 2: it's the choice between full-time and part-time work. And of course everything that means in terms of career progression. I've chosen this often slightly stressful way of working because part-time work is so hard to come by in my area at the level of seniority I'd achieved before having kids, so I do sympathise about the career planning issue: it's a tough one.

[babybore]

Thanks for all your replies, food for thought. Just to clarify, I would put dd in a nursery 3 days a week regardless of whether I was working at home or not ie I probably would try and work from home with her on one day a week if I go with my normal job but appreciate that it would probably involve evening and early morning work to do a full day's work.

I do want to get pregnant again next year so do have that in mind as well.

Basically it's important to me that my child is at home more than she is at nursery while she is small. But my career is also important and I don't really want to wreck my future prospects (although that might sound a bit melodramatic I know).

[greenday]

Personally, my ideal work/home balance would be 3 days work, 2 days full-time mum.

According to most mums who have gone back to work PT, they still get called at home by colleagues who are males, singles, etc ... those who don't know what its like to be a mum basically and assume its ok to call and ask a quick question (and oblivious to the fact that you may be changing your baby's nappy and at the same time, trying to prevent baby from falling off the changing table).

[elliott]

I think if your career is important then go with the job you enjoy. I think 3 days a week at a boring job is something you will regret (although, I guess it depends on whether it is boring but enjoyable or boring and really not much fun at all).
I have always worked 70-75% since having the kids and it has enabled me to obtain promotion and achieve the job I had always wanted - I think that would have been harder on only 60%. DH also dropped down to 80% so we have only ever had to have 3 days nursery care, which I also think has helped.
Personally I couldn't really manage to work at home while also looking after the kids - I prefer a clear separation!

[ebenezer]

You say dd will be a year old when you return to work. tbh any idea of working while she's at home for the day are unrealistic, and trying to cram everything into early mornings/late nights will be a recipe for getting knackered and feeling that you're not doing either role properly. I agree with the advice that you need to weigh up your priorities for the moment. Is having time with dd important enough for you to do the 3 day job even though it may not be the job you'd ideally like? Or is it worth sticking with full time because in the long term you will retain your chances of promotion etc and have a career that benefits all the family? It's a really tough decision, and only you can make it, but you definitely need to start from a basis of what you can actaully achieve - and I'm afraid working with a toddler at home is not viable.

[babybore]

Thanks for your thoughts. The working from home would only be one day a week and I'm sure I could manage working one evening in order to complete the work. She is a very sleepy baby - she still has up to 4 hours sleep during the day and while I know this will lessen, I think until the end of this year there won't be a problem.

I'm leaning towards taking the 3 day a week job IF I get offered it. It's not a bad job, and related to what i'm doing, if not exactly what I wanted to be doing.

[iwouldgoouttonight]

It sounds as though you might have almost decided but just wanted to say that I am doing a similar thing - I've just gone back to work four days a week, one of which I'm working from home. I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks but for me its working out really well so far. I'm lucky because my partner has flexible hours so he looks after our DS for some of the day I work from home. If he can't then I do my work at the weekend or in the evening - I've actually found I get more done in less time at home because there are less distractions so only really need to spend one evening working.

Before DS was born I took a small pay cut to do a job I prefered and which gave me better prospects and I've not regretted it - my pay has now caught up to what it would have been before and I'm much happier going to work, which I think makes leaving DS a bit easier.

Sorry to give you the opposite opinion just when you've almost decided!

[babybore]

Iwouldgoouttonight - I haven't really decided and it's great to get the perspective of someone who enjoys doing a 4 day week.
Am going to see the interview as a 2way process and ask if I can do some research work within it (which forms a lot of the work I do now and is what i really enjoy). If it's just high level admin, well then I'll have to think hard.

[squiffy]

Regardless of how good a baby you have, to plan to work from home and look after a child at the same time is not fair on your company unless they have specifically said that this is OK. If they haven't, you are cheating them of their right to have your sole and undivided attention during working hours, and if you get caught out you will look very silly and it will undermine other people in the company who ask to do the same.

If they haven't OK'd it, you should at least have a babysitter/au pair to hand so you can hand the baby over if there's work to do that can't wait (which will happen if you're climbing the ladder).

You should also think about your current employers' attitude re a second baby. It isn't fair but some employers may write you off in terms of promotional prospects if you get PG very quickly after returning from maternity leave. If that's likely to happen then the PT route may be better...

[elliott]

I think some posters are forgeting that this is not a choice between ft or pt, but 4 days or 3 days. Personally I think it makes quite a big difference to what you can get done in a week and also to how colleagues view you - with 4 days you can get away with being considered more or less full time and still a 'contender' (which I understand cuts both ways) while with 3 days they may be more inclined to think you are not that interested in advancement. But I really think the key is in what job you will find fulfilling in the long term. Its much easier to put up with all the juggling if you do actually want to do your job!

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Hi BB. I also wanted to comment on working from home when you have a baby. I work 10 hours a week but after a few months' trial I decided it's best if I go in the office for this rather than from home. I found working evenings, nights or early mornings really tiring. If I got behind with anything then I'd try and do it during the day and feel a bit antsy if DD didn't go to sleep etc. It's amazing how i couldn't find 10 hours during the week from home. I'm not terribly disorganised.