This is really beginning to get me down, so I thought I'd share it to see if I can at least get the collective wisdom of Mumsnet to cheer me up....
Here's the low down:
- I work full-time and have always done.
- I mostly enjoy my (local, well-paid) job, but obviously have good / bad days.
- DH used to work in a similar situation to me (big company, well-paid) but gave it up two years ago to work in a small business, then this year set up his own company.
- DH's company is not yet making any money, so I am major breadwinner. Meanwhile, he is eating into our (he says "his" ) savings at the rate of £2k a month.
- DS1 starts school in September and over the last few months I've become really angry and bitter with DH that I won't be around to spend time with DS1 after school etc. I've realised that subconsciously I'd always assumed that by the time he started school I would at least be working part time, or actually be setting up my own, more flexible business to accomodate school hours.
- Meanwhile ALL my friends have now given up work (last one this week) and are, of course, making plans for the kids for the summer etc etc. Poor old DS1 will be stuck in nursery almost until he starts school in Sept
- I can't help feeling angry with DH, as I feel he has created this situation. We are arguing constantly about it, and I have asked him to commit to achieving a certain level of income by Xmas, or pack it in and get a 'proper job'. He just says I'm unsupportive and that he IS trying to do the best for our family. I just can't help feeling that he's just taking advantage of me. Although he does help with childcare etc, he is hopeless when it comes to organising school stuff/ the kids social life etc. Already I have had to take all the responsibility for school admissions/ visits, and undoubtedly will have to sort out uniform etc. I'm dreading it once school starts, I just can't see how we are going to juggle everything.
What's even worse is that all the other parents assume that I work full time out of choice because DG is too proud to say that he isn't making any money, so I get all the sarky comments too.
I feel really trapped and pissed off.... help!