Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work

WAHMs - How do you balance it all?

15 replies

Flamesparrow · 04/03/2007 21:57

Shop's been set up nearly 4 weeks, and my babies are starting to forget what I look like.

I know the first few months... 12 months... 24 months are going to be hard going, but I'm not too sure how to balance it all out. I am spending every second adding stock, sorting orders etc (coughs.. and MNing ), and its clearly not going to do them any good.

Mornings are fine - DD has preschool, DS sleeps for most of it. But 2 hours or so a day isn't enough time to get everything done. They have spent most of the last couple of weeks playing nicely together (thankfully) whilst I am stuck to the laptop for the afternoon. I'm taking a break to fire lunch in front of them and to cook a dinner, but then I am back on for the evening doing more work.

This weekend I spent all of yesterday working, and managed to take today off until they were in bed.

My babies need me, my house needs me - I need DH to do more in the house but its a losing battle But in amongst all this I am loving it - my brain is being used, things are going well and I am good at what I am doing.

I want this (need this) to be a success, but I have no idea how I go about balancing things so my children have love, food and clean clothes and I can add stock, deal with orders and get things sorted.

I dunno what I need here really... m aybe a bit of "yup, been there" , and some reassurance that I can get through it and out the other side!!!

OP posts:

Report

choosyfloosy · 04/03/2007 22:06

Completely different circumstances but I do know that feeling so bloomin well. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job.

I know this is easy to say, but something has to give, and the only things that really don't matter at all are the house and the clean clothes. I have a feeling it's you who has the brilliant non-ironing system with the magical folding of clothes so you may feel you have cut this to the bone anyway, but consider closer acquaintance with real squalor. Remember Quentin Crisp - after the first four years the dust doesn't get any worse.

What discussions have you had with your dh about the labour split? Any other family member or friend you can rope in?

Are you earning anything yet? Can you pay someone to do shopping/cook the lunch/dinner/90 min trip to park after the nap?

Do you have a local 9 year old who loves small children/15 year old doing Child Development GCSE, not for major childcare operations, but for some play while you are there? You being around is a huge asset.

I doubt very much that this is anything you haven't already considered/arranged. Cheering you on in spirit.

Report

Flamesparrow · 04/03/2007 22:21

pmsl @ non-ironing system with magical folding of clothes - no idea what that means!!! Clothes used to be washed, folded then hung to dry, then put away... currently going for wash, throw at radiator, dump in random piles around house.

I need a proper talk with DH, I knwo I do .

Family members - my mum is back and forth to Cornwall helping her mum (gdad died at Christmas), so she isn't about a lot, and my stepsister has just gone back to work so my stepmum has her DS a lot of her spare time - a couple of extra children is asking too much

Hopefully in a month or so one of my mum's friends has said she will take DS one afternoon a week/fortnight (depending on our payment agreement!) - I might see if I can talk my friend into having DD that afternoon. I know she is going to have problems when they start school in Sept on the days she works, and I have offered to help her out then so it could work as a give/take thing.

I think I need some easy cook recipes - little prep but still good food kind of thing. DD has been on processed cr*p the last few weeks and its showing in her bounce .

Thanks for the cheering on

OP posts:

Report

choosyfloosy · 04/03/2007 23:09

lisalisa's 'cannelloni' recipe which no WOHM should be without

Report

Flamesparrow · 04/03/2007 23:16

You star!

OP posts:

Report

oranges · 04/03/2007 23:43

I work from home, and basically save some of dinner to give to ds for lunch. And nothing gets ironed, bit does taken out of drier and put away straight away. If dh needs something ironed he does it himself. And dh, who is a darling, will cook dinner before he goes to work a couple of times a week. And buy tortiall wraps. ANY leftover food can be put in them to make a fun dinner.

And it sounds silly, but I downloaded some songs onto my laptop, and ds will spend a good 30 mins dancing at my feet as I type emails.

Report

oranges · 04/03/2007 23:44

tortilla wraps.

Report

Flamesparrow · 05/03/2007 18:42

I was sure I replied to this this morning

I love the tortilla wraps idea. We always cook far too much so it would be easy to save for lunch (rather than our normal method of just eating huge portions )

OP posts:

Report

amynnixmum · 05/03/2007 18:44

Flame - have a chat with kittypickle as she has run her own business from home for the last 18 months and I know she's found it hard at times.

Report

motherinferior · 05/03/2007 18:47

Flame, is there no way you can get some outside childcare, like a few sessions with a childminder? I've worked based from home for six years now, and our childminder is the only way I've managed it.

Report

Enid · 05/03/2007 18:48

you need childcare

is it an ebay shop?

Report

Flamesparrow · 05/03/2007 18:52

Its an online shop, but not ebay (look under bumfluff in small business ads)

I've been talking to KittyPickle when I first started - I really should talk to her more. We want our DH's to meet so it would be a good idea to just go out together

OP posts:

Report

Flamesparrow · 05/03/2007 18:53

Oooh - school meeting, back later

OP posts:

Report

funkimummy · 06/03/2007 10:11

Flamesparrow, I've been doing it for the past 5 months. It does get easier. I do work in the morning when DS1 is at playschool, and I also do it in the evening when DH gets home. I try and keep Sundays totally and utterly work-free, and also Friday nights (for my own sanity!) Yup your housework will suffer a bit, I know mine does! Perhaps we should get our heads together to organise a bit of a work/life balance thing? Was thinking of drawing up a chart of my time during the week so I don't waste any!

Report

Tortington · 06/03/2007 10:16

snot easy. the house is usually a shit hole.

kids bedrooms are left to the kids. our bedroom dh does. when i say " will you DO that EFFIN bedroom?!"

kids have chores - they are older - still it remains a shithole.

get home from work - cook - homework fuck me its 7 -8 pm. and ihave evening metings too soemtimes.

routine is the key - for everything - not arsey but we have " first one home cooks tea!" rule and stick to it

if you cook you dont wash up - thats fair.

everyone irons their own stuff. except school uniforms which get ironed on monday. ( if it so happens that they played rugby in school uniform and its covered in mud by tuedsay - the kids wash and iron it)

hoovering - once a week? if that.

Report

Flamesparrow · 06/03/2007 19:28

Thank you everyone - everyone's bits about their own lives has been giving me little hints here and there.

I bought tortillas today. DH was off work and has started to make a dent in the lounge - I'm realising that we need to get it vaguely in order now and then the bare minimum in the way of maintenance.