Should I go back to work? At six months? at twelve months? Not at all?
I keep completely changing my mind on this. Sometimes i think work :
-it would be an easier life - fun to be in bustle of office, not so emptionally draining
-the childminder would be a bit of a surrogate grandmother to take the strain off us (our families aren't local),
-I wouldn't be tempted to pressurise and hothouse dD through her being my 'project' - she might have lots of laidback social fun at childminders
-Worried Ds will get a lot of separation anxiety if i raise him exclusively (Dd we lived closed to family, and she was always hanging out with other people).
- I'd have a career ticking over, rather than starting from scratch when kids are older
- Money is nice - and it'll get more and more lucrative as childcare cost drops and wages rise
- I could get a cleaner - my house is never clean
On the cons:
- Dd is very receptive now, and I'm teaching her lots
-Our week is crammed full of clubs and outings
-While not at work, I have more time to devote to godDcs, and personal 'projects'
- May be more pressure on Dh if I go back to work - he's already under pressure, and currently his is the more lucrative and rising career.
- Ds may benefit from having unbrken care for me/may be stressed by other care
- What if the childminder is mean? Or kids get stressed by early starts late finishes...
- Kids are very cute now. Hand on heart, they seem to like having me around.
- Kids kids kids kids kids - says it all really.
Me: On mat leave with second dc (3 months old), 26 y.o.,
My work: have a standing arrangement to work 3 days a week in a professional occupation close to my home in a supportive office (albeit apprently undergoing yet another restructure). Have a speculative job offer in hand, also 3 days, but a more 'ambitious' and lucrative career path.
My finances: married. Dh earns shed loads. Have to send lots of money to support his family meaning that we're actually quite tight week to week (let's say, can afford to eat, but not eat out, dress from AsDA and worried about washing machine breaking). Will certainly end the year with debts (that will likely be cleared by bonus). If I worked I'd clear about 1K a month after childcare.
My kids: Dd in preschool in september. Both kids laid back and secure. Have found local childminder with good reputation (albeit a little strict for my taste) who Dd knows and likes. Her other mindee could be in dds year in school. Thinking is that ds would be more relaxed to be near his sister.