Feel sick 1st day of work tommorow yuck !!!

[melsy]

Im starting part time work for my dad in the city tommorow. Only doing one day a week 1st , so I can subsidise having some home help to kick start my own freelance design & art business.

Problem is I feel sick to my stomach about going on the underground and being in an office enviroment. The last time I was in an office I left it with a nasty taste in the mouth so to speak. I was quite senior in blue chip company before in my past life and I kinda left it all behind cos I just didnt wnat to be that person ever again. So really I could just tell myself itll be easy and Ill probably enjoy it, but its dredging all the bad memories up again and i feel quite panicky about it.

My mums having dd , but I also never left her for whole day before, so Im a little funny about that, being so attached to her and all.Ive also smashed my car in today and its out of action and at repairers with smashed up windscreen and door, so Im stuck at my mums mercy for the next 2-3 weeks arrrgghhh and have to sit around nervously waiting for my dad to turn up in the morning to take dd back to my parents house.

So all in all not a good one tonight. I finding it really hard not to just phone my dad and say its really not a good idea for me at the moment as Im feeling all panicky and nervous about it all . Basically I sound like a nuerotic basket case and need some reassuarance that this is all normal (which I know it is) but Ive only just got over really bad panick attacks and at the tail end of PND, everyone feels this will do me good and it would be good to have the money too. Ive come a long way the last few moths and this may help me finally turn my back on all of it now, I just need some help to look forward.

Bit embarressed to post this,nearly changed my name, must stop rambling !!!

[Lisa78]

Deep breath
Repeat after me
This. Time. Will. Be. Different.

I know how you feel babes, honestly I do, but give it a go, you have nothing to lose. And your DD is with her grandma so nothing to worry about

Deep breath
Repeat after me
I. Will. Be. Fine.

[melsy]

Thank you, thankyou!!!

[melsy]

bump

[Lisa78]

I went back today melsy, left DS2 - and he wasn't very well
Everyone told me that once you are at work, you go into work mode and I was astonished how long a chunk of time could go without me thinking about him
And when I got home, the smile he gave me lit up the sky! And we had such a good time together today - we generally do but it was that bit better

You'll be fine - give yourself time to settle in and give it a proper chance, bet you in a few weeks you are wondering what on earth you were worried about!

Let me know how you get on

[coppertop]

I don't have any advice but just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow, Melsy. xx

[sis]

Melsy, I'm sorry I missed this yesterday, so what happened? did you go ahead with the work and if so, how did it go?

[melsy]

Thank you for your words of support & Sis thanks for checking in with me!!

Yes I jumped into the deep end & just did it .It was actually quite good , I had quite a laugh with the colourful staff there : ones a lookalike of Dan from Big brother , the other is like Stephen fry !!! Being on the train was revolting BUT unavoidable & NEVER wear 3" high Mary janes when its nearly 100 degrees !!! & being in Liverpool street station after not being in stations for the last 18mths surrounded by thousands of people after was a bit scary. I soo missed my little dd, when I got back I held her really tight for ages , but my mum said she had been wonderful all day.

My job with my dad is to help him look at his operations and procedures and see if I can come up with improvements , whilst helping him out in gaining more business , so it will take a few weeks to get my head into it and understand his business & how HE works through it. The only downside is that some of the work is more subservient and isnt easy for my old manager EGO who wants to delegate the faxing to someone else!!!but as my boss is my dad I can tell him so !!He does have a PA on another day who does all the filing and paper work so that takes care of that side. He bought me lunch which was nice though.

lets hope this gives me the confidence to kick start my own work though and have a nice little income of my own. I will not be a KEPT women!!

[sibble]

Melsy glad your first day went well. I remember when I returned to work after having DS, the crowds at Liverpool St were quite aunting but I did love getting dressed up again in my work clothes and feeling like me not just like 'mummy' (as nice as being mummy is). I also laughed at the ego bit, I am now p/t in a supporting role as opposed to the f/t management role I used to have (through choice - different country/job etc.) and spent the first few weeks making lists at meetings so I could check all the items to be done were done - they rarely were until somebody politely pointed out that I was the one who was supposed to be doing them!!! I was so used to having a PA - ooops a bit embarrassing!!! I can now appreciate what a nightmare I was to work for - untidy, stockpiling filing to pass on en masse, dictating waffly letters then changing them hundreds of times etc.....
Anyway I am sure your DD had a great day with your mother and you were extra pleased to spend time with her at the end of the day.
Keep enjoying it and if all else fails think of all the nice little extras teh money can buy you!! Each time I am filing I think - that's my cleaner or that's my highlights or that's my nails!!!

[melsy]

Thanx sibble , I like the way you look at it !! Yes it was nice glamming up for the day and not just being mummy, although love being mummy. May be it will make me appreciate my time more at home being mummy. LOL at what happened to you at new job !!

[sis]

Melsy, I'm glad you did it and that it was good, well done!

will you always be working on Tuesdays? my office is fairly close to Liverpool Strret and it would be nice to meet for lunch but I work from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

[sibble]

oohhh do lunch - you have to make the most of work's perks if you have to/chose to work - I 'do lunch' and thoroughly enjoy savouring my food (even if it's a home made sandwich in the staff kitchen over a chat) without having Ds hanging from my sleeve, eating while running around doing things or in the car in transit from one DS activity to another. I love my work lunch breaks.

[bunnyrabbit]

Melsy,
Nothing to add really except hugs and support for you. It was strange coming back into the city for me too and I'd only been off for 8 months. Everything seems different somehow. Must have felt like entering some strange timewarp for you.

Don't know when the next city lunchtime meet up is planned for, but you should come along. It's usually around Liverpool street station. Have a look at the meet-ups notice board.

BR

[champs]

hi melsy, didn't see this post in time( for your first day back) but wanted to add a well done and hoping next week goes well too.