Big FT work dilemna, WWYD?

(9 Posts)
SplinteryBottom Sun 13-Mar-16 09:41:46

Been offered a F-T job.

Decent pay, big company, some prestige attached to it. Some (maybe 50-60%) WFH. Pension etc.
Around 40-50% in office days, prob 4 hours minimum total commute so may well stay up at the office some nights. Plus a reasonable amount of international travel.

DH works full time, 2-3 hours commute a day. Some international travel.

We don't NEED the salary, but it would certainly help.
DC currently in preschool/with nanny. Will go into reception next year.

Have been freelancing, previously had some good years, last year pretty poor and demoralising. Been feeling quite unhappy about it and was planning (pre job offer) to rein back and focus on kids for 6 months or so.

This is probably about the best job I could be offered right now and it could be a long-term gamechanger. But it means using wraparound care every day and school holiday childcare and some very long days, or even whole weeks, away from family.

Completely on fence. WWYD?

DesertOrDessert Sun 13-Mar-16 09:58:25

I found school much harder than nursery when working FT.
We've made the jump the other way, and I'm now a SAHP.
It was the homework, play dates and holidays that got us. But with a Nanny, most of that can be felt with.

What's the worst? Take the job, decide after a year it's not for you, and go back to the freelancing, or turn down the job, and spend the next 20 years wondering "what if"

kimlo Sun 13-Mar-16 10:01:59

I would take the job and keep the nanny. I would probably ask her if she was intrested in doing house keeping while he was at school.

NameChangeIe Sun 13-Mar-16 10:05:23

Take the job, have a live in nanny if needed if days coincide for nights away for DH. Sounds like you'll regret it if not. Make sure evenings when home/weekends/holidays are family time

TomTomKitten Sun 13-Mar-16 18:18:20

Take it and see how it works. You'll never know if it is right otherwise. Sounds like you have nothing to lose.

SplinteryBottom Mon 14-Mar-16 13:49:32

Well, I went along for an informal 2nd chat today and basically the boss persuaded me to give it a go, starting on a 4 day a week trial.

I feel ridiculously emotional about it. Pass me a grip someone.

TomTomKitten Mon 14-Mar-16 16:16:58

Well, if it's not right you don't stay. If you don't accept it you'll never know. Win-Win situation!

SplinteryBottom Tue 15-Mar-16 12:21:33

It's the holidays that are stressing me out. And some of the morning drop offs which are now DH's problem. So I suppose I should let him worry about them!

Our nanny is OK - trustworthy, reliable, responsible, leaves the place tidy etc - but the kids don't look forward to seeing her particularly. Mostly because it's not a day with mummy, also because her days are quite low key, pottering at home (which I think they need in a week as well, and means we can have super busy weekends without feeling too worried about them getting knackered). So I was worrying that 4 days with her for big chunks of every holiday week would be a bit crap for them. But I think I can find some holiday clubs they could enjoy for 1/2 days a week, plus 1/2 days nanny, plus 1/2 days of a parent. Throw in some Grand parents and we'll survive.

not the long lazy summer by the seaside I envisaged, but hey ho sad

Llareggub Tue 15-Mar-16 12:29:32

you can still take annual leave in the holidays. I work full-time and I have overnight stays. I'm a single parent.

My DCs love after school club because they get to run around the school field and get muddy. When I work from home I pick them up from school and they mostly winge because they prefer after school club.

The thought of full time work is much worse than the reality. Even without a DP to split the load I find it very manageable. Today DS is home with me as he is ill and he is pottering about while I take work calls and, well, work basically!

It will be fine!

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