Tell me your happy stories of returning to work full time after 3 years off with DC

(10 Posts)

I need reassurance that I will not spend my working days missing DD horribly and feeling like an awful mother... please share your stories of fulfilling jobs and settled, well adjusted happy pre-schoolers!

ThisFenceIsComfy Mon 25-Jan-16 21:16:41

I am in exactly the same boat. Returning full time after being a SAHM. My son is 3.5.

Aaargghh it's nerve-wracking

What if DD doesn't settle? What if I can't find a lovely childminder? What if I actually get offered a job and have to work a 40 hr week again? What if I can't find a cleaner and get divorced due to DH's total disinterest in housework and cooking and my disinterest in working full time and doing all the housework and cooking? Aaaand breathe.... (I applied for a really great job yesterday, and have a second interview on Thursday. It's all happened so fast! Having a panic.) I need to chill the fuck out before I work myself into an anxious state and fail to even land the job by coming across as a bag of nerves smile

LizzieMacQueen Mon 25-Jan-16 21:30:22

One of the things about working full time is that your house won't get as untidy therefore the housework should be easier.

I doubt that's much comfort to you if you'd really rather be at home making potato print pictures etc.

It's a work from home job, which is one of the things that would be great about it - no commuting time, maximum family time. DD would need to be elsewhere though, and I would have to pay someone else to receive cuddles and play with her (and deal with grumpy screeching!)

CrispyFB Mon 25-Jan-16 21:46:14

I went back today (coincidentally!) after nearly eight years out. My youngest is nearly two (oldest is nine). Okay, so it's early days, but so far it looks like the best decision I've made in a long time and it's done wonders for my mental health and self-esteem. I have other stresses in my life, but what I get from working leaves me better able to cope with them in every sense. And I feel I will be a better mother overall as I'll actually miss them instead of longing for DH to get home and give me a break.

That said, I was never cut out to be a SAHM forever, some people are and they thrive on it - I wish I had, but I merely survived it until we could afford for me to work again. Only you know what would apply to you.

Good luck! I went from application to offer within about three weeks, it can go fast! I asked for a month before I began so I could get my head round it all smile

ThisFenceIsComfy Mon 25-Jan-16 21:48:50

Ah I had all the same worries when I applied for my job. I found a lovely childminder eventually though and the plans are settling into place. I've mega cleaned and cleared out the house so I can leave it to rot for a while. Printing meal plans tonight. Exciting!

I'm worrying over how much I'm going to miss him, how tired he'll be, whether he'll find it all too much sad

Those that have been down this path, how quickly did your toddlers settle? Any tips?

CrispyFB Mon 25-Jan-16 23:06:26

My toddler is fine (so far!) but then she has been going to nursery one day a week anyway, so she's used to the people there. It'll be interesting to see how she feels about it by the end of this week now she is full time.

When I went back after DC1, she was four months and she settled just fine too (three days a week)

Most places do settling in sessions with increasing amounts of time, so they're used to it by the time you actually go.

MercyPlease Tue 26-Jan-16 09:03:41

I went back to full-time work when my DC were 4 and 1, after 3 years off.
It was hard, I won't lie, but I am very glad I did it. 7 years later I have a career and social life (and salary) I wouldn't have had if I had stayed off for much longer.

Good, reliable childcare is key. And a partner who shares the load!

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