What to do for the best!

[Jivetoes]

New to posting so sorry for any mistakes! Think I just need a combination of advice and a kick up the behind! I don't have a big family to chat to! I'm due to start a new job tomorrow after leaving previous at the end of September. The previous job was full time with Saturdays and a day off in the week, not great pay. New is 20 hours wed-fri, same pay as my full time one. I am a single mum to 10 year old boy, ex only sees him 3 hours every 3 weeks at his choice. Mum lives 2 hours away, dad works full time, no other family. Should be great, however, son is only at school part-time at the moment due to anxiety, luckily have found a childminder to collect him at 12 till I finish 2 days and my Dad will have him on his day off, but obviously money for childcare will be high. Son is also epileptic but this doesn't cause issues, however, the anxiety is so severe he was in hospital a month ago unable to walk as it had triggered a movement disorder that caused him to loose the use of his legs, he also has nose bleeds and panic attacks, school are useless and even the specialists are shocked at their lack of support. We currently have input from counsellor, phycologist 2 neurologists and are waiting for neurological phycologist to due testing for learning disorders etc... then will go for a EHCP for school. Today he his home all day as he is stiff again. I have colitis but can control this mostly although with stress at the moment its tough!

Anyway now you have all that information and hopefully haven't fallen asleep at the length please tell me what you would do?! The job would be great, give me more experience, and time for me, it is a year and if I could go full time after that the wage would enable me to rent without help, but the thought of not being here for son at the moment is overwhelming! I could claim carers allowance, I have in the past as he gets high care DLA. I'm all over the place and just need a talking too I guess! Maybe just pre first day nerves?!

Thank you for reading!!

[Mrscog]

I think if you're about to start, you should start and see how it goes. It might not be as bad as you think, it might be that some challenges sort themselves out/or different solutions become apparent. Even if you only do it for a few months and then it's not for you, you will still benefit from the experience.

Good luck!

[Runningtokeepstill]

I'd try to get into work if you can as it gives you a break and a sense of being an adult in your own right. Well done for getting a job that will give you the same pay with fewer hours.

I have quite a few similarities to you. I'm currently not working as I became a carer to both my late dh and youngest ds who wasn't able to get into school for most of his secondary years. This ds also has anxiety that stops his legs working when stressed, usually related to school - he can't get out of bed unaided, he can stand with help but then cannot move. He also has chronic pain syndrome. Since dh's death, I've been a lone parent and feel overwhelmed sometimes by dealing with it all. I'm fairly old now so not so much family left, and those around live at the other end of the country.

I'm looking at getting back to work but plans are on hold as youngest ds, now 16, has been thrown off his college course as he couldn't get in due to anxiety and consequent pain and his legs totally packing in again. I definitely want to get into work again soon, and was hoping to start a volunteer job as I need to have that for my own confidence and esteem. We've had limited success with NHS treatment for ds as his medical background is a bit complicated and he therefore falls between gaps in local provision so I'm having to fund some private help so extra money would be great.

In your position, I'd certainly want to give the job a go.

By the way, my ds's first secondary school was also useless but after a period of home education he started at a much better one and it did help tremendously as they were supportive instead of moaning about poor attendance (all medically certified). It might be worth seeking out SENCO and senior teachers with inclusion roles for a chat when you start applying to secondary schools.

I hope all goes well in your job and that your son gets all the support he needs.