Leaving Babe with dh

[mummynumnum]

Going back to work next Monday just for one week before xmas and dh/relatives are having dd for four days. Nursery takes over in Jan. DD has never really been left by me (Now wishing I had done this and feeling like a bad mum) and I am worried she will be distraught for people looking after her. Desperately need some reassurance and some tips on anything I can do (if time now) to prepare her.

[fransmom]

you are not a bad mom by any stretch of the imagination. maybe your il(?) can pop over to yours for a day while you pop out? don't ever leave without saying goodbye to her, be bright and breezy because she will follow your cue - then dash into town with a bf and have a cup of coffee or something. then go home and give dd a big hug and ask about her day. then another day take her to il's and do the same there but for a little bit longer. take some of her fave toys with her and something that smells like you do that she canlook after for you. take a bit longer and tell her that you will be back soon.

she will just need some reassurance (as do you) that she will be ok and she will soon settle. i find distraction with a fave toy sometimes works
you don't mention how old she is? hth

[mummynumnum]

That does help and the being bright and breezy as I go out the door is a great idea. So I will try and hold back the tears, for dd sake, dh sake and il's. DD is 22 weeks this week. Thanks for advice.

[twinkletinselpud]

i found that the first day was really easy - if a bit surreal - it felt like i was missing something. it was later on in the week that it kinda hit me. just take loads of tissues with you (well, as many as you can fit in your bag or shirt pocket anyway ).

please don't shut your dh or ils out if you need o talk to them, your dp may well be finding it as strange as you but doesn't quite know how to tell you/admit to himself or you how he feels.

it does get easier and tbh i still don't really like it but like many other families, we need the extra wages.

please feel free to cat me for email address if you would like to chat more x

[mummynumnum]

Thanks and may well need a chat again. Trying to enjoy last few days as much as possible. Keep looking at her when she is sleeping. Sure DH/il will be fine. Just wish I had left dd with different people before now so she could get used to it. I am worried she will scream all day, My sister (a nice and wise HV) says babies are very adaptable and I will prob find she will have a wail of a time and take a bottle and formula when I am not there to breastfeed. I am hoping she is right. Just hate this work business. Think I will be in serious need of tissues next week.

[twinkletinselpud]

i used to know someone at work who's sis was hv and she sounded like your sis. she is right , she will have whale of time, it's a diff environment it's just you need the reassurance more i think x

ps take packet tissues - easier to fit in pockets / handbags etc! you still quite welcome to cat me if you need to or if you don't - it's nice to chat to people with child/ren who are roughly the same age.

[twinkletinselpud]

[email protected]

[mummynumnum]

I think you and my sister are right, I do need the reassurance. I am trying to refrain from being overly anxious to my ddh, as it then seems I dont trust him and I do.

Pleased also as dd is taking (finally) a few oz of formula from bottle and is having big breast feeds in morn and eve and night (!), so hopefully she can manage without in the day.

Thanks for email address. Will email soon.

[mummynumnum]

Only 3 days until the dreadful return to work. Any more words of wisdom???

[twinkletinselpud]

take things easy on yourself and try not to get too wound up. i know it's easier said than done, just take plenty of tissues and wear waterproof mascara! seriously though, people are thinking of you and the people at work will hopefully be sensitive enough to realise what an important day it is for you and yours and will help if you need it. don't be too proud to say that you are finding your first day back a little difficult, just hold your head up and try to enjoy it. your lo will relish the recharged mom x you will be fine!

[twinkletinselpud]

oops! you will be fine!

[twinkletinselpud]

but please remember to talk to your dp and give him a chance to reassure you and to let you know that he is there for you.

i know that you are dreading your return to work but try not to see it as the dreaded return, try and see it as the next step in your life as a working parent; nothing in in life was ever meant to be easy - if it was we wouldn't learn anything about ourselves and life would be so boooooooooooring!

good luck sweetie i shall check in from time to time to see if you posted again (((((((((hugs)))))))))))

[mummynumnum]

Thanks for your kindness and suppport. You have helped me feel much better this week. I will post sunday and let you know how I am doing and after work on Mon to let you know how I get on.x

[twinkletinselpud]

no probs, glad i could help x look forwards to hearing from you and good luck

[mummynumnum]

leaving for work in an hour. all organised and dont feel too bad!!! Hopefully, dd will take a bottle. Will post afte work, when safely at home, to let you know how I get on.

[mummynumnum]

HI

First day at work completed. Was good. DD coped very well with dh. Only took oz and a half from the bottle, but managed by nipping home at lunch to give a feed. Feeling happy