need to plan going back to work but feel lost

[mouses]

ive been a stay at home mum for last 13yrs bringing up 3 dcs. now I need to find work as a lone parent and finding it all abit daunting.

I haven't a clue what career path to take, which ever I choose I need to do volunteering in that field before paid work to get references etc.


I don't know where to start. had ds1 quite young so never really got experience in working, id have to learn from scratch I suppose. one problem im going against is my mental health with prevents me from doing so much.

I also don't have any family or friends to rely on having dcs if they were ill or if hours didn't fit school times....

any advice where to go who to see would be great thanks.

[The80sweregreat]

I am older than you and posted on here a while back about finding work / returning to work and so on. Most replies were suggesting doing volunteer work of some kind. This may be a good start for you. Its hard if you need the extra cash though as any that you may end up earning will have to go on childcare , so nothing is that easy. Have you considered a midday assistant job in a school? They are trained up, paid in the holidays and it fits around the children too. A lot of people often end up as TAs too.
It may not be for you, but even if its for a while its a good way of starting off small while you look for something else. You could also consider doing a training course. I am currently doing a computer course at the local adult centre and its very good as my Word skills are rusty. They break up for the holidays too, so that again can fit around the kids. Good luck anyway. Its not easy when you have children and nobody to help out. I do know how you feel.

[gg1234]

You can start with baby sitting or childminder etc work .you have experience with 3 kids .

[mouses]

I did want to avoid working/volunteering with kids as my mood is very unpredictable, i suffer with a kind of borderline personality disorder (amongst other problems still undergoing) and my own dc's stress me out quite easily :-(

although it would fit in with having little help to rely on and holidays etc...
its so hard and stressful and im not even doing anything yet!

i did think about doing a course, im quite interested in health. i wouldn't mind studying nutrition but not sure if id get help with the course as im a lone parent.

[ragged]

the nice thing about your history is you can invent yourself as anything. You're not saying "Oh, but I trained as a teacher - lawyer - physio - etc...." and feeling tied to that.

It sounds like maybe you need to start with ideas that work best with your disorder.

[mouses]

i have been looking at volunteering at animal shelters as rooms full of people can send me into an panic. even having to engage a conversation with some one unknown can affect me. but i know i need to over come this as any 'work' involves being around people.

well i originally trainning in dance at college but not suitable with dc's now

im finding it hard because working with animals seems the best idea but i couldn't be a vet (don't do blood or exposed bones well!) so only options seems to be reception side, that i wouldn't have confidence to do.
ive called a few animal shelters but no places for volunteers in the hospitals/vets just the ones where you stand out in the cold shaking donation boxes

[fluffapuss]

Hello Mouse

What about looking at what you can do ?

You dont know what you can do unless you try & if people give you an opportunity or if you volunteer or become self employed

Animal suggestions;

Pet sitting when people go on holiday in your home or their homes

Dog walking

Dog grooming

Stables

Outdoor eg

Gardening

Driving

Child related

Telesales

You will be lucky if you can find a job that you also enjoy

[mouses]

hi,
thanks for your advice, I know I could probably do more if my health didn't get in the way I have anxiety and depression to go with BPD but as I say im determined to get out there.
I cant drive and I scream if I see anything with more than 4 legs! so gardening is a no go...

with volunteering im limited to charity organisations only due to being a lone parent, orders from the job centre - It was suggested I find volunteer work to get references as ive been out of work so long. employment would be hard to find with little experience?

I was thinking about volunteering in a hospital? if they even do that? they are huge and its not like id be sardined in a room of people?
maybe homeless shelter if not.

I like to help, im good at that I will get there! I know I need to face most of my fears to get better. being pushed into it isn't helping and is quite stressful. im grateful for your replies.

[mouses]

just read that back and sounds like im making so many excuses but honestly most days really struggle with life beyond the front door!

might take a trip down to a careers advice centre if that would help? don't even know if they are for people my age, last time I went I was at school. x

[MrsMargoLeadbetter]

I would start with volunteering. It might be difficult to gain employment without fairly recent work experience.

Volunteering is also a way to try out different roles/what works best for you.

I think you need to be persistent re finding a volunteer position. Not all charities are as efficient at managing the volunteer recruitment process as they could be - which is often why they need volunteers!

Have your tried Do It (cannot link as on app) that is an online portal with vacancies. Or Reach Skills, they match charities with volunteers? Or your local CVS/volunteer centre could help if you have one.

You might not fancy this but there might be 'entry into employment' schemes which you might be eligble for re health/JSA receipent. Ask the job centre/whoever supports you in thr NHS.

Women Like Us is a social enterprise which offers support to women getting back into work. Think they might be London based/focused which is only of use if you live there!

Mumsnet.com Workfest is a day conference aimed at women with job/career issues. It would mean the DC going somewhere for a day but they have reduced tickets for low earners.

Finally, well done for being willing to try to change the situ. It isn't easy I am sure. I admire you. Good luck.

[mouses]

thank you for all those options, I will take the list to the jobcentre to see if they can help. also have a havco located near me, they helped me sort a CV. will ask them too.

no its not easy but im not going to let my mental health beat me.