Bit of hope for anyone dreading going back to work.

(10 Posts)
fruitandbarley Mon 11-Aug-14 14:17:49

Hi,
I just wanted to send a message to any mums dreading returning to work after maternity leave.
I have just had a year off ( a lot longer than we initially thought we could afford), and I have been dreading coming back to work and anxious, mainly about leaving my 1 year old daughter who has only been with me 99% of the last year, (obviously happy with dad, and left her for the odd half day with granny).
I have had a good year off, been to baby groups, made new friends, and spent the year having fun and watching my little girl blossoming, into a lovely and very happy, smiley, miniature whirlwind.
She's still breastfed, wakes sometimes in the night, and as only really used to spending most of the day with me I was very worried about leaving her for such a long time during the day. Also thought I'd hate being at work and might have forgotten everything.
I know it's not going to be the same for everybody but I just wanted to say that I have been very pleasantly surprised, she seems to have settled well, although is very pleased to see me when I get back, I'm still managing to breastfeed her morning and night, and although I do miss her, it's not anywhere near as much as I thought, as I'm seeing her in the mornings and for a couple of hours in the evening, and as I've gone back 4 days a week, i get one day a week where we can still do fun things and the balance feels alright.
The biggest shock was that I seem to be enjoying work! I feel like I've got a bit of myself back that I hadn't realised was missing till I got here, and wasn't expecting that.
I just wanted to try and reassure anyone who might be feelling like I was 2 weeks ago, that for me at least, its not been anywhere near as bad as I feared.

mummaduke Mon 11-Aug-14 14:29:35

THANK YOU grin

I go back in two weeks.

Every time I feel remotely excited about going back (only 3 days), I am overwhelmed with worry and sadness about leaving DS (10 months old).

I've gone through exactly the same as you OP; new friends, new priorities, and baby with me almost all the time.

So pleased to hear it has gone well for you and your DD smile

PumpkinPie2013 Tue 12-Aug-14 12:36:11

Thank you for this and pleased it's gone well for you!

I'm back full time a week today - have been dreading it but don't feel too bad now.

DS has been doing one day per week at nursery for about 6 weeks so has been eased in gradually and has settled in well smile

I've been organising the freezer and batch cooking this last week plus treated myself to some new work clothes smile

I'm hoping we get into the routine fairly quickly!

I enjoy my job which is a bonus smile

I'll update next week to say how it's gone!

mummaduke Wed 13-Aug-14 07:38:55

Batch cooking! Good idea!

I could have written this exact post! Went back 4 days a week 7 months ago and it's really not so bad.

I also wonder how I used to run around after him 7 days a week as I'm exhausted now doing it 3!

Everyone said my DS would be clingy as he was barely out of my sight on maternity leave and it was nonsense. He loves nursery, he spends a couple of days with my mum too and also loves that.

I spent ages fretting over going back and I really needn't have worried.

slightlyglitterstained Sat 16-Aug-14 09:48:52

I think the most stressful bit is the weeks leading up to going back where you imagine all the worst things - once back, then it all settles down as the worst things don't materialise.

PumpkinPie2013 Thu 21-Aug-14 19:53:13

Well, I'm nearing the end of my first week back and so far it's been ok smile

The batch cooking I did has been great as I can just pull something out in the morning for that night.

I make sure everything is ready at night so far less to do in the mornings which helps.

I miss ds while I'm at work but make a big effort to play with him and do bath and stories/songs before milk and bed so I do feel I spend some quality time with him each day.

Work has been busy but actually quite good - I'm enjoying using my brain and meeting new students (I work in a college and we are enrolling new students now).

All in all it's ok. Looking forward to weekend with ds and an extra day off as it's bank holiday smile

HippoSeahorse Thu 21-Aug-14 21:08:50

Thank you for sharing this. It's a massive boost. I go back in a week and a bit. I'm about to post in more detail on a new thread, but your post has helped a lot!

Coffeeinthepark Wed 27-Aug-14 20:44:01

Good thread. This was my experience with my boys too - though even that doesn't change me being a little worried about going back to work for a third time in January and leaving my little girl. No doubt it will be just fine, it is simply an adjustment for both of us

rallytog1 Wed 27-Aug-14 21:39:08

Great thread.

I've been back at work for 6 months now, and I can honestly say it's the best decision I've ever made (other than having dd). My dd adores nursery and is coming on in leaps and bounds, I feel like a human being again, and I feel that makes me a better mum when I'm not at work.

For anyone on this thread worrying about going back, don't let anyone guilt trip you or make you feel like you're failing somehow. I'm certain that everyone in our little family is healthier, stronger and happier because I work. It will be hard at first, but it gets better and much quicker than you'd imagine.

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